


A Hole In The World

by lscar123



Series: A Hole In The World [1]
Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Also adding this tag post publishing but no rape/non-con involved in any part of this story, Alternate Universe - FBI, Andrew is the FBI agent, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Neil is the runaway, Past Child Abuse, Slight Supernatural Elements, Slow Burn, Which isn't to say it won't be dark but it won't be dark because of THAT, not like ghosts and shit but you'll see
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-07
Updated: 2017-07-07
Packaged: 2018-09-30 13:07:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 29
Words: 132,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10163675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lscar123/pseuds/lscar123
Summary: An accomplished FBI agent. A young runaway who is more than he appears to be. A serial killer that's haunted both of them for years.The City of Angels just got a lot more interesting.





	1. City Of

**Author's Note:**

> so, this is another idea that's been kicking around in my head for a little while and i finally had to write it down. the more i think about it the more it seems like its going to be a fun one so i hope you enjoy...different take on things.
> 
> Also I'm adding this note post-publishing but there will be no rape/non-con/childhood sexual abuse in this. Which isn't to say that neither of their lives won't be super fucked up and tragic but it won't have to do with any of that kind of stuff.

 

 

 

 

I

City Of

 

SOMETHING about the city seemed different tonight. The air felt different, alive almost. It felt like the city itself was sitting back and waiting for something to happen. Something big. Something life altering. He'd felt the feeling before, the feeling that the city was watching him. The feeling that it was something more, something like a living, breathing entity that seemed to know exactly when to make things go sideways. The last time he felt it someone died. The last time he looked over the balcony of his apartment and down at the city below only to feel like it looked back up at him his partner was murdered.

He shuddered a bit as the wind whipped against his skin. It was an uncharacteristically cool night in the city, just another thing to add to the strange atmosphere, he supposed. He took a final drag of his cigarette before leaning over the balcony and letting his grip on it slack, watching as the dim end of the lifeless thing fell from the top floor of his building to the street below, or as far down as he could see it since he'd lost sight of it somewhere around what he figured was the 50th floor. Not for the first time, but he stifled a laugh at the fact that he, someone with an almost debilitating fear of heights, chose to live in a 70 floor high rise and on the top floor no less. Oh well, 'immersion therapy' the mandatory shrink would probably call it, if he even bothered to talk to her.

The wind picked up again, he could have sworn it carried a jolt of electricity with it, and he cursed under his breath. It was Los Angeles for Christ's sake, it wasn't supposed to be fucking cold. He rolled his eyes and turned back, leaving the pack of cigarettes balanced precariously on the ledge of the balcony, laughing to himself as he slid the door along it's tack behind him, checking once and then one more time just for good measure to make sure it was firmly locked and inaccessible from the outside. He knew it wasn't truly cold outside, it was more of a minor inconvenience than anything, because he knew true cold. He knew how it felt to be without heat, to be alone in a cold and dark room rubbing your hands together and fighting for just the smallest bit of warmth. If his younger self could see him now he'd probably hate him.

“There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.” The distinctly British voice caught his attention from across the room.

He ran a hand through his hair that had grown longer than he normally let it and watched the screen as it played for a few more seconds. It took him longer than it probably should have that he was watching Hamlet play out on the screen, he didn't know how the TV had settled on that particular movie or why he'd only just caught that single line but before he could wonder about it any longer a loud pop from across the apartment drew his startled attention.

He tensed immediately, reaching down to his side and drawing the gun that was fastened to his belt, before realizing that it was only a stray ember from the fireplace. He let out a long breath of air before his shoulders relaxed and he settled the gun back into his holster.

He shouldn't still be this nervous, it had been years, decades in fact. He was doing so well, so fucking well in fact that maybe he'd let himself get too sloppy. Maybe he'd let the comfortability of his life settle him into some kind of complacency. Maybe if he'd kept up with his old act then the death of his partner wouldn't have rattled him as much. Maybe if he'd kept the wall up and let his old paranoid delusions rule him these last few years then he wouldn't be as shaken as he was now. It had been six months since the man he grew to call a fucking friend was murdered, or rather, butchered. He could still see his friends body, or what was left of it after the madman was done with him. He could still smell the blood.

They'd come so close to catching the fucker that night, so close after more than a year of hunting the guy, they had the fucking Butcher in the palm of their hand...until it all went to shit. Now he was left without a partner, without a friend, and with blind rage that grew more and more every single day.

Mercifully, his phone buzzed on the counter and drew his attention away from the dark memories, “Doe.” He answered, short and succinct.

“Andrew,” A soft voice said from the other end of the line, “I don't mean to bother you this late.”

Andrew looked around the room before his eyes settled on the clock, “It's not even 10pm. What is it, Walker?”

“I forget you keep odd hours,” Walker, or rather Special Agent Renee Walker, laughed, “Reynolds and I just got to a scene and...I thought you might want to join us.”

Andrew raised an eyebrow and listened to the background sounds coming from Walker's phone. He could hear her partner, Special Agent Allison Reynolds barking orders in the background at what sounded to be the local PD, “Why?”

Walker sucked in a deep breath before answering, “There's a body here in Chinatown that looks like it's been hacked to pieces. We're not positive yet but-”

Andrew cut her off, “Text me the exact location, I'm leaving my apartment now.”

He hung up the phone, gave his gun a quick double check, and grabbed his coat off of the chair next to the bar before smothering the fire and making sure it was out. His phone blinked with a notification, a text from Walker with the exact location of the body, just as he stepped into the hallway. He took extra care to double check each of the four locks on his apartment door, testing each one twice before turning to make his way down the long hallway and towards the elevator to begin the 70 floor descent.

 

<O>

 

THE tunnels were dark and so fucking dirty but they were also winding, confusing, and they went on for miles. It was the perfect escape route, especially if you knew where you were going and he _always_ knew where he was going. At the next turn he would take a right, losing his footing ever so slightly so that he stumbled and scraped the palm of his hand. It was too frantic in the heat of the moment to try and adjust to avoid that outcome so he would just let it happen.

The turn appeared in front of him and he could hear the voices behind him growing louder. He cheated right as he was running and set himself down the correct path to safety. But, as predicted, he took the turn with a little too much speed and the worn soles on his old shoes didn't have enough traction to keep him upright and the ground beneath him became unstable. He was able to stop his body from falling completely by shoving out a hand towards the ground, it kept him upright and still moving but took a bit of his skin and blood in return. He looked down at his palm as he ran and grimaced, just because he knew it was coming didn't make it any less painful.

He closed his eyes as he ran along the straight path in front of him. He could just make out the three way intersection in front of him, the part of the tunnels where they branch of even more and send you to god knows where the fuck. The middle tunnel was a no go, that way would lead him to a dead end that he wouldn't be able to recover from. He'd make it to the end of the path only to find a large brick wall in front of him. If he turned back around he would make it back to the intersection just in time to run into _her_ and that disgusting smile of hers. He wouldn't let himself see what happened after that.

The left path was a little more promising , it led deeper into the tunnel system and didn't seem to have any obvious drawbacks. Oh wait, no, there it was. The left path didn't have any more branches and eventually ended up letting him out somewhere in a park. When he stepped out of the tunnel he'd be face to face with a security guard who would hold him in place until the police came because he was unwilling to hurt anyone who was innocent.

The right tunnel was the only one that offered some respite. It went on for about another half a mile and would eventually lead to a manhole that would let him out somewhere in Chinatown. However, he couldn't see anymore than that. What the fuck? That never happened. Maybe he was too tired? He hadn't gotten much sleep and all he'd been able to find to eat in the last 24 hours had been that granola bar the little girl gave him because she felt bad.

Still, of the three options in front of him and the voices closing in behind him he figured that an uncertain Chinatown was better than _her_ or the police.

He reached the intersection and sped off down the right tunnel, but not before a voice boomed through the tunnels behind him.

“You can't run forever.”

Oh yes. Yes he fucking could.

 

<O>

 

ANDREW held out his badge as he pushed his way through the crowd and towards the scene outside of the abandoned warehouse. The press had already started to flock, no doubt tipped off by a local about the possible return of The Butcher.

“Fucking vultures.” Andrew muttered.

“Doe!” A sharp voice caught his attention.

Andrew looked across the crowd to find Special Agent Allison Reynolds flagging him down. She stood at a statuesque 5'7” and always seemed to loom over him. She was dressed as impractically as ever in a tight skirt, stiletto heels, and a glittery top. Walker stood off to the side of her with a small jacket that matched Reynolds's skirt folded over her hands. Andrew rolled his eyes when he got closer and saw that Allison had come equipped with a shoulder holster that dangled her gun in the wind as she bent down to sift through the scene.

Reynolds must have noticed him sizing her up because she just scoffed and ran an ungloved hand through her long blonde hair, “I was on a date, pint size.”

Walker let out a stifled laugh and Andrew just rolled his eyes again, “I'm sure the victim is very sorry he got murdered in the middle of your date.”

“Actually,” Reynolds shrugged, “one body might have prevented another one. I was about to shoot him for grabbing my ass before Walker called me.”

Walker only smiled and looked gleefully at her partner. The two of them had worked together for years, as far back as Andrew could remember, and they always seemed to be in sync with each other.

“The body is inside.” Reynolds flicked her head towards the open shutter doors.

Walker grimaced and led the way to the interior of the building, pausing briefly to look back at Andrew and offer an apologetic smile.

He thought he was ready for what he would see when he walked into the building. He was wrong.

The walls of the room were lined with large, red, pillar candles that flickered and cast the room in an ominous light. He could already smell the blood before he saw the body, and that to him was the worst part. The fucking smell of blood. It was so distinct and it was enough to begin to call his mind back to that dark fucking night. He balled his hand into his fist and began to breathe through his mouth instead. He stopped in his tracks as he finally saw the body or rather, the pieces of the body. It was one person but each appendage had been hacked off and positioned in a line.

Right arm, right leg, torso, left leg, left arm.

Andrew felt his stomach lurch as he looked at the scene, “Where...is the...head?”

Walker angled her eyes to the floor and began to shuffle back and forth nervously so Reynolds stepped in front of her to answer, “Look up.”

Andrew turned his head towards the ceiling and found himself looking back at a head that was hung from a long metal chain bobbing back and forth.

Everything began to overwhelm Andrew at once, the smell of blood, the pieces of the body, the fucking memories of his partner. He spun on his heels and stumbled out of the room, desperate and frantic to get as much space and fresh air between himself and that fucking room as he possibly could. He pushed himself outside and braced himself against the other wall of the building, the cold stone under his hand doing much to ground him and remind him that he wasn't back in that room, or back six months ago.

The clicking of Reynolds' heels echoed across the pavement as she came to stop in front of him, her arms crossed over he chest and he blonde hair blowing in the wind as she shook her head, “Dammit, Renee, I told you that you shouldn't have called him.”

Walker straightened her back and held her hands on her hips while giving Reynolds a defiant glare, “I wanted him to hear about it from us.”

“He just got cleared for field work again, I don't think this needed to be the first thing he saw after-”

Andrew snapped back into awareness and cut Reynolds off, “Stop fucking talking about me like I'm not here.”

Reynolds let out a gust of air through her nose and leaned her head towards the sky as she sighed, “I'm just saying that this was probably too fucking soon.”

“I can handle a dead body, Reynolds.” Andrew snapped.

“I know that, psycho midget!” Reynolds glared back, “But not one of The Butchers.”

“We don't know if this his The Butcher yet.” Walker interjected.

“Not for sure,” Reynolds shrugged, “at least until forensics gets here, but I'd say it's pretty hard to deny.”

“Whatever,” Andrew waved a dismissive hand in her general direction before turning around and walking further into the alley, “I'm going to see if there were any homeless people nearby who might have seen something.”

Andrew wrapped his coat around him as he moved down the alley, his eyes scanning every dark corner for someone who may have been in the area just trying to get some sleep and may have seen or heard something.

“Too old for this shit.” Andrew murmured to himself, he was 31 years old and sometimes no matter what he did he still felt like that scared little kid.

He continued his canvas of the area, finding nothing of use, and just as he was about to make his way back to the scene he heard a clattering of metal from somewhere deeper down the alleyway. He turned back around and began to move forward towards the sound, stopping as a loud screech of dragging metal echoed off of the walls around him. The alleyway had little in the form of lighting and the smog from the city obscured most of the natural moonlight so he fished the small pen light out of one of the pockets of his coat and flipped it on, casting a narrow beam down the dark expanse.

The sound stopped altogether and he caught a flash of movement across the end of his flashlight, it was enough to startle him and make him reach for his gun, “Federal agent!”

“Shit.” A low voice whispered through the darkness, Andrew didn't hear any returned conversation so he was reasonably sure the soft voice was just talking to itself.

“Come out, I need to ask you a few questions.” Andrew said in a low voice that carried a weight of authority to it.

“Stupid, stupid, stupid.” The soft voice began to repeat over and over again. Andrew narrowed his eyes as he heard a repetitive slapping sound coming from behind a dumpster that he realized had been moved to cover the access to the manhole in the alley and surmised that it must have been the scraping sound he'd heard a moment ago.

“I'm armed,” Andrew warned as he stepped around the side of the dumpster, “keep your hands where I can see them.”

The slapping sound continued and as Andrew turned the corner he focused his light on the body of a thin and frail looking boy, sitting in the corner of the alley and wearing ripped and stained clothes. He made note of the shoes that had holes in the sole, one big toe poking out of the front of the left shoe. The boy was sitting in the corner and slapping himself in the face over and over again.

“Stupid, stupid, stupid, should have seen this coming. So fucking stupid.” The slapping grew more intense and brutal as it went on and Andrew made note of the bright red marks that were already raw on his cheek.

He couldn't explain it but something about the boys air told him that he wasn't dangerous, that he wasn't a threat and didn't poses anything that could immediately harm him. He might be fucking crazy but he wasn't dangerous. He holstered his gun and took a knee in front of the boy, leaving his light angled up on the ground so it illuminated the boys face.

“Hey,” Andrew said softly, “stop that.”

“Stupid, stupid, this is it, end, so stupid.” The boy kept fucking slapping himself.

“Hey!” Andrew boomed, “I fucking said stop.”

It was enough to startle the boy and stop him from continuing on in slapping himself. He never did have much success with the tender approach anyway.

“Huh?” The boy looked up at him and for the first time Andrew got a full view of his face. His eyes were almost too large for his face and were an almost translucent blue. His hair was a deep red color and the parts that weren't matted with dirt or something else fell into this curls around his forehead. His skin was tan and dotted with freckles, probably from all the time he spent out in the sun looking for a place to stay,. The boy was...fucking stunning. Not that he would let himself acknowledge it anymore past that. He had to be what? 22? 23? 24 if he was _lucky_? Far too young and also far too fucking crazy.

“Stop hitting yourself.” Andrew warned as he held his index finger in the kids face.

“Hitting myself?” The boy looked up at him with wide eyes that almost seemed like they were glowing, which was obviously impossible, “I didn't realize.”

“You didn't realize you were hitting yourself?” Andrew leaned back a little and raised an eyebrow at the boy.

“No.” The boy said flatly, looking back at him with those big eyes as if he was looking _inside_ of him.

Andrew sucked in a deep breath and grabbed his small light from the ground, “What're you on?”

“On?” The boy wondered, “I'm on...the ground?”

“Listen,” Andre groaned, “I don't care about the shit you're taking, I'm not vice. I'm not going to arrest you or anything but I just need to know if you've seen anything in the last couple hours, there's been a murder down the block and I'm looking for witnesses.”

The kids eyes went wide again and he let out a slow breath of air before closing them, “I've seen so much in the last couple hours.”

Andrew settled down in front of the kid, crossing his arms over his chest and looking at him more intensely as he weighed the validity of a possible lead from a homeless kid who was a few colors short of a rainbow, “It's really important to tell me what you've seen.”

“Death.” The boys eyes snapped open and fixed in on Andrew's, “Too much.”

“What the...” Andrew breathed.

“I can't...see anything now though.” The boy frowned.

Can't see anything? The kids eyes seemed alert and responsive so he was pretty sure he wasn't blind or anything. Yeah, he must be crazy.

“I have to go, I've stayed here for too long. Have to keep moving.” The kid jumped to his feet fast enough to startle Andrew and cause him to tumble backwards.

“Hey!” Andrew coughed as he pushed himself up from the ground, “You can't just walk away, I'm not done questioning you!”

Fuck, he hadn't even started to question the kid.

The kid moved down the winding alleyways with almost incredible speed, deftly taking every turn like he knew exactly where he was going. Until, it seemed, he didn't.

Andrew rounded the next corner and saw the kid pacing back and forth in front of a brick wall, nervously running a hand through his filthy red hair, “I can't see. I can't fucking see!”

Andrew walked forward cautiously, keeping his guard up now that he knew not to underestimate the kid after seeing how slippery he could be and noticed a large cut on the side of his leg where his pants had been torn. The cut looked deep and as weird as the kid was Andrew figured he should probably at least get him checked out by a paramedic that was back at the scene.

“Hey,” Andrew said softly, “I can take you somewhere to get that leg looked at, it looks pretty bad.”

The kid's head snapped to Andrew once again, the blue eyes now impossibly wide, “Why do you keep following me?”

“Took an oath,” Andrew shrugged, “You're hurt and you might know something about the murder. Come with me and I can get you checked out, maybe get you something to eat or somewhere warm to stay.”

The kid shook his head furiously, “No, you can't take me anywhere.”

Andrew took a deep breath and tried his hardest not to roll his eyes, “I can't just leave you here.”

“I'll survive.” The kid said, “At least...I think. I can't see it.”

Andrew's patience was growing thinner by the second, “Get yourself some glasses then, you need to come with me.”

“I'm not going anywhere.” The kid said defiantly.

He was tired, covered in dirt, freezing, and had had enough of this kid, he pulled out a pair of handcuffs, “We can do this the hard way or the easy way.”

The kid caught sight of the cuffs in Andrew's hand and closed his eyes again, once more running a hand through his unruly hair, “You can try.”

Andrew narrowed his eyes as he took in the kid, something had changed about his posture now and it made the hair on the back of his neck stand, he thought about going for his gun again but figured it might escalate the situation more than it would help protect him. How much trouble could one skinny homeless kid be?

Andrew took another step forward and the kid stayed in his position, watching Andrew with those big blue eyes and tracking his movement. When he was within range he reached out to grab the kid by the wrist but he moved at the last second, just barely escaping Andrew's grasp. Andrew let out a muttered curse and leaned in to attempt another grab which went just as well as the first. He tried again, this time lunging forward at a quicker speed towards the kid who simply stepped out of the way half a second later which caused Andrew to overshoot and lose his footing.

“What the fuck?” Andrew coughed as he tumbled to the ground before quickly bracing himself off of the nearest wall and getting back on his feet.

The kid had closed his eyes again and was standing in the middle of the alley as still as he possibly could. Andrew used the moment to surprise him and sent a hand flying towards the kid, trying to grab him by the collar of his shirt. Andrew's own eyes went wide as the kid's hand flew through the air and caught his, intertwining their fingers together and holding both of their hands suspended in mid air between them, all while his eyes were still closed.

“How the?” Andrew stammered.

Suddenly, the kid's eyes flew open and he let out a loud gasp and pushed Andrew backwards, sending him into the wall that was close behind him, “You...I saw you....you're...you're in danger.”

Danger? Andrew tried to speak but the shock of the moment and pain from where the back of his head hit the wall held his tongue and all he could do was watch as the kid stood there with his eyes closed, running his hand through his hair and muttering to himself. He opened his eyes and gave Andrew one last look that was almost...sad? Before turning on his heels and sprinting back in the direction that had both come from earlier and disappearing into the darkness.

“Yeah,” Andrew sighed, “fucking nutcase.”

 

 


	2. First Impressions

 

 

 

 

II

First Impressions

 

HE drove his first through the small window in the back of the veterinarians office. The glass clattered to the floor and he unwrapped the shirt from his hand, giving it a few good shakes to dislodge any small shards from the material before slipping it back over his body. The further he got away from the blonde man the more it seemed like he was able to see. He'd have to say he put almost a mile in between him and the man with the sad eyes before he was able to get his brain working again.

Still, he didn't completely trust his mind yet and just because he could see that this particular office had no alarm system didn't mean he wanted to linger around any longer than he had to. He also didn't see that brick wall at the end of the alley and yet there it was. He couldn't stop and think about the blonde man, not yet, not while his leg was still bleeding. He was lucky enough to make it away from _her_ just a few hours ago but that luck wouldn't last him much longer if he bled out.

His eyes scanned the shelves in an attempt to find some kind of disinfectant to pour over his wound before he stitched himself up. He was luck he'd found a terribly unsecured veterinarians office, he could recall the doctors voice in his mind telling him to always search for one of the animal hospitals in times of need because they had considerably less security than a doctor for humans. His eyes caught the bottle simply labeled 'disinfectant' and he shrugged, it was as good as he was going to find. He slipped on a pair of latex gloves and went to work.

He pulled the ruined jeans off of his body and sat himself on the cool metal table, closing his eyes as he began to pour the solution on his wound. It burned, but he already knew it would. After a few minutes of watching the wound bubble and leak he was satisfied with the state of it so he grabbed the suture kit and ripped it open with his teeth. The stitched were dissolveable, which was good, it meant he wouldn't have to stop again wherever he ended up next to take them out. He dipped the needle in the solution and then sucked in a deep breath before sliding the pointed metal under his skin, wincing as it broke through and once more as he felt the suture glide under his flesh. He always hated stitches, but he hated them even more now that the doctor was gone and he had to do everything for himself. She had always watched after him in her own way, even if he never really understood it. He bit his bottom lip as he finished stitching himself closed, letting out one final gasp of pain as he pulled the sutures tight and tied them off. He flicked the skin of his leg a few times and sighed mercifully when it flushed pink.

“No infection yet.” He whispered to himself.

He looked down again at his ripped and bloody pants and frowned. He'd just gotten them a few days ago to replace his last pair and they were already ruined. He shook out his injured leg and limped down the hallway of the office until he found himself in an employee break room that held a small line of lockers. He closed his eyes and ran a hand through his hair nervously until he saw what he'd hoped for. Putting on a new pair of latex gloves he walked to the farthest locker from the door and stood in front of it, twisting the padlock to the correct numbers and smiling with glee when it opened up and reveled an entirely new set of clothing that would fit him almost perfectly. A new shirt, jeans, and even shoes.

“Jackpot.” He smiled as he stripped out of his old clothes and picked up his newly acquired outfit and walked to the very back of the office to the area he saw was reserved for animal grooming. Not the most luxurious of accommodations but it would do well enough for him to get a quick rinse off in. He'd never washed his hair with dog shampoo before but he figured there was no better time than the present, well, after closing his eyes and waiting a few minutes to make sure it wouldn't make his hair fall out or something like that.

He wrapped his injured leg with a large black trash bag and hoisted himself into the large metal tub that was probably reserved for a great dane or something and turned the shower head on. It was one of the times he was glad he was on the shorter side. Not many people could say that they fit relatively comfortably in a dog grooming tub but at least he had something else to add to his list of accomplishments that didn't have to do with a new way to break into a building or a new way to kill someone without a weapon.

He spent a few minutes scrubbing himself off and washing his hair and gave himself a satisfied shrug as he climbed out of the tub. Better to smell like a clean dog than a dirty human. He drew the line at the canine toothpaste though, he'd have to pilfer some from the next drugstore he came across. He pulled on his new set of clothing and smiled, it had been a long time since he wore something that was this clean and devoid of holes. The outfit wouldn't stay that way for long but for now it was a small comfort.

He put on yet another pair of latex gloves and collected his old clothing and put it in another large trash bag. After going through the rest of the lockers and coming out with $80 more dollars than he'd started with he grabbed a small backpack from the same locker he'd gotten his new clothes from and filled it with a box of granola bars from one of the cupboards, a couple bottles of water, a bottle of low dosage pain pills, a few spare sets of sutures, another bottle of disinfectant, a few apples, and an energy drink. He also grabbed a sandwich from the fridge and ate it in three bites. All in all, it was a pretty great haul for such a random place. He felt bad for taking all he had but on the other hand he only promised not to physically harm innocent people, he never said anything about not stealing from them.

He let himself back out onto the street after cleaning up every drop of his blood from the office and threw away the evidence, along with his old clothing and the three pairs of latex gloves, in a dumpster a few blocks down the road. The doctor would come in the morning and see the broken back window and realize the few things that were missing and probably attribute it to a junkie or something.

He finally stopped at a small park about a mile down the road from the veterinarians office, taking a seat on a wooden table and closing his eyes for a few seconds just to make sure he wouldn't be surprised by anyone or anything. When he was convinced it was safe enough for now he laid back on the table with his new backpack clutched across his chest. He let his mind wander back to the blonde man in the alley, the man who looked so sad. There was something about him, something that made him want to keep looking at the other man. He could still feel the other mans hand against him and as he closed his eyes he saw the flash again. It was a new one, he had to admit, he'd never seen the eventuality of someone else but the again he'd always made it a habit to not touch people or let anyone else touch him so maybe it was something that could always happen but he'd just never experienced it until earlier tonight? Still, he was having trouble seeing things even just a few minutes out around the blonde man and then they touch and he see's the blonde mans _death_?

The horrible, horrible flash of the blonde man dying played again. It was daytime, he could make out the street name, and the flashing sign with a date on it behind the man showed that it would happen tomorrow. He frowned as he looked up at the black sky above him.

Tomorrow, at 3:45pm, the blonde man would be distracted by something near him and wouldn't notice the other man in the dark coat holding a small blade come up behind him. The man would be able to overwhelm him due to the size difference and the surprise and he would slit his throat. The blonde man would fall to the ground and bleed out before anyone could get to him.

 

<O>

 

THE Los Angeles field office was buzzing the next morning with news of the new murder. It had been six months since The Butcher last killed and his last victim had been a fellow agent. Andrew rode the elevator up to the floor that housed his division and scanned his way into the interior office. He was the first one in that morning which really wasn't a surprise, Reynolds and Walker had stayed late at the scene and he'd heard Boyd and Wilds were on their way just as he was leaving. He was sure the four of them would roll in any minute now with terrible attitudes due to their lack of sleep. Then they would complain about how he didn't bring them coffee even though he'd stopped and gotten some for himself. All entitled children.

Andrew removed his jacket and draped it over the back of his chair before sitting down at his desk and resting his face in his hands. He couldn't get that crazy kids eyes out of his mind. It seemed like every time he closed his own eyes last night after he'd gotten home he saw those vacant blue eyes looking back at him. Everything about the previous night was a series of mysteries. First, the possible return of The Butcher, then the crazy kid, then how it seemed like the kid knew exactly what Andrew was going to do before he did it. None of it made any sense, especially the kid talking about seeing death. He was kicking himself for letting his only possible lead get away from him like that. If he was hoping he saw the kid again it was only because he wanted to get more information out of him, not because he wanted to see those big blue eyes again.

A loud thud from his left side startled Andrew out of his stupor and it took every ounce of self control not to pull his gun and fire off a warning shot. He looked up and saw the not even slightly amused face of his boss, Special Agent In Charge David Wymack.

“Doe, why the fuck are you here so early?” Wymack narrowed his eyes.

“Early?” Andrew questioned, “it's 7:55 and I'm supposed to be here at 8.”

“Exactly.” Wymack sighed, “And you're usually here at 8:15.”

“Oh,” Andrew shrugged, “guess I couldn't wait any longer to see your beautiful face, babe.”

Wymack let out a low growl and pushed the pile of paperwork closer towards him, “And for that you get to spend the next few hours going through all these cases and making sure the reports are filed correctly.”

Andrew's mouth fell open as he leaned back in his chair, “You're kidding right?”

Wymack gave him a flat stare and circled his hand around his own face, “Does this look like the face of someone who's kidding?”

“It looks like the face of someone who-”

Wymack cut him off, “Consider your next words very carefully because there's still a shit ton more of these files to go through downstairs.”

“I was going to say, it looks like the face of someone who knows how to deftly assign tasks to more than capable agents.” Andrew gave him a toothy grin.

“What did I do to get stuck with you?” Wymack sighed, “That was a rhetorical question.”

“Are we really not going to talk about the hacked up body from last night?” Andrew sighed as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“You mean the hacked up body at the scene you shouldn't have been at?” Wymack raised an eyebrow as he turned back on his heel to look down at Andrew.

“I've been cleared for field duty,” Andrew shrugged, “I can be at any scene I want.”

“That's...not how this works.” Wymack sighed, “According to Reynolds you had a moment.”

Andrew bit his tongue to stop a rather colorful retort about Reynolds from slipping out before settling on his word choice more carefully, “My first Butcher body back would have hit me hard no matter when it happened.”

“Maybe,” Wymack shook his head with a small frown, “but you're still taking an extra session with Dobson because of it.”

“Seriously?” Andrew groaned.

“Do you want to stay in the field?”

Andrew only nodded his head.

“Then you'll take the extra Dobson session, let her make sure you're not going to lose it on us again, and you'll be fine. Her office downtown, today, 3:45pm.”

Andrew didn't have anything to say back to the man so he only grunted and flipped open the first file, scanning over it to make sure all the I's were dotted and all the T's were crossed. He fucking hated this busy work that they'd stuck on him, he fucking hated being treated with the kid gloves. It reminded him too much of when he was that young kid, about how people moved around him at a slower pace, especially after the accident, talking softer because they didn't want to upset poor little Andrew Minyard, the boy with the dead mommy. Except he wasn't Andrew Minyard anymore, he was Andrew Doe. And he liked Andrew Doe so much fucking more.

The beep of a security pass registering at the door behind him drew his attention back to the real world and he turned just in time to see the blonde traitor walk into the room, “Et tu, Brute?”

“Save it for the people who care, Doe.” Reynolds rolled her eyes, “You freaked, I had to say something.”

“I'll remember this next time someone has you pinned down under fire.” Andrew shrugged.

“Andrew,” Walker said in her soothing voice, “be nice. Allison was just looking after you in her own way.”

“She knows how much I hate talking to shrinks, if she cared she would have said something to me herself.” Andrew gruffed.

“And risk losing a finger after you bite back at me?” Reynolds laughed, “I'll take my chances with the gunfire, thanks.”

Walker gave him and apologetic smile and Reynolds just raised an eyebrow in challenge before he decided to back down for the time being. It was annoying, and Reynolds was worth more trouble than anything else most of the time, but in her own way she did mean well.

Andrew turned his attention away from the two women and rolled up the sleeves of his dress shirt, opening another file to dive into and shivering as his bare forearms touched the unusually cool top of his desk. He looked down and made note of the goosebumps that formed all along the smooth skin of the underside of both of his arms. The weird electric feeling was back and he didn't know what to make of it.

The door opened one final time and Andrew didn't have to look up to know who was coming through.

“All I'm saying is that if you want to dispose of a body that big then you have to be smart about it.” The voice echoed through the office and Andrew groaned at the sound of Special Agent Matt Boyd bouncing terrible murder ideas off of his partner, Special Agent Dan Wilds.

Dan, for her part, sounded none too impressed, “If you're going to kill someone in the first place then why would you choose someone who's morbidly obese?”

“Because it's unique!” Boyd laughed.

“Clearly someone has never seen Se7en.” Reynolds rolled her eyes.

“What?” Boyd questioned.

“The movie, Brad Pitt,” Reynolds looked at him with disbelief, “What's in the boooooooox?”

“I have no idea what you're talking about.” Boyd looked back at her with entirely too much confusion.

“It's Gwyneth Paltrow's head.” Andrew said out of the blue.

“What is everybody smoking in here today?” Boyd shook his head.

“It's what's in the box.” Andrew clarified, “Her head.”

“Great,” Reynolds sighed, throwing her arms into the air into frustration, “you ruined the entire movie.”

“Bruce Willis is dead the entire time.” Andrew said with a slight smile.

“I fucking hate you.” Reynolds glared.

“The narrator and Tyler Durden are the same person.” Andrew smiled even bigger.

“Can I shoot him?” Reynolds asked while looking around the room for an answer, “I'm well within my rights, right?”

Just as Andrew was about to spoil another movie twist Wymack burst out of his office, “Get your shit together, we're going down to the lab. They've got the prelims on the body from last night. You too, Doe.”

 

<O>

 

THE lab was as cold and sterile as ever, all blinding white and cold stainless steel. Andrew always hated the lab, it reminded him of the morgue.

“Good morning!” A loud, slightly German voice boomed from the other side of the lab.

Andrew sucked in a deep breath and looked across the room towards the tall, burly, German expat and head forensic anthropologist, Erik Klose.

Erik was as cheery as possible, which was odd considering he's holding a severed arm in his hands.

“I never know how you can be so fucking chipper when you're around this many body parts.” Reynolds shuddered.

“Find something you love to do, I guess.” Boyd laughed.

Wymack shouldered his way past the small cluster of agents before speaking, “What do you have for us Klose?”

“Well,” Erik said as he put down the severed arm, “this is most certainly the work of The Butcher.”

He peeled the gloves off of his hands and threw them into the waste basket along with the apron he was wearing before turning to the sink to wash his hands and arms more thoroughly.

“The cuts match the blade off all the other victims,” Erik gave Andrew a sad glance which he pretended to ignore, “we're still working with the theory that it's a small hatchet or a larger, older ax.”

“What do we know about the victim?” Andrew asked, stunning the room as they all looked at him with wide eyes.

“He...” Renee trailed off as she pulled up a file on one of the computers, “Donovan McNabben, 35, listed as missing or endangered for the last year. No connection that we can tell so far to the prior victims other than the fact that the seven of them were also listed as missing or endangered for quite some time leading up to their death.”

“He's from a different state too. Nevada.” Reynolds chimed in, “Which makes eight for eight victims where none of them came from the same state or even a neighboring one.”

“Eight victims, all missing or endangered for at least a year prior to their death, all from different states, and all dumped in California. None of this makes any fucking sense.” Wilds sighed.

“Nine victims.” Andrew said solemnly, “I know he doesn't fit the profile but there were nine victims, not eight.”

No one wanted to talk about his dead partner around him. It was like if they pretended it never happened when he was around that everything would be OK. But it wasn't. It happened. He was dead. And he deserved to be included in the list of the people who they were going to get justice for when they caught this bastard.

The door at the back of the lab clunked open and the room turned to meet the eyes of their newest guest. Andrew let out a small groan as he saw who had come through the door.

“Oh wow,” the high pitched voice said, “I had no idea you'd be here, Erik.”

“Really?” Andrew deadpanned, “You didn't know Erik would be in his lab?”

“Nicholas,” Erik beamed, “how wonderful to see you.”

Andrew rolled his eyes as he took in the sight of his cousin, Nicky Hemmick, beaming over the man who was just holding a severed arm a few minutes earlier. He would never understand how his cousin actually made it through Quantico when he'd only joked about following Andrew at first. But as such he did join, he passed near the top of his class, and had somehow become one of the areas top profilers.

“You two can make out when we leave,” Wilds sighed, “we still need more information.”

“That's actually why I'm here,” Nicky nodded, his eyes still on Erik, “I need to know the cause of death and if the poor guy was alive when he was being hacked apart.”

“Tactful as ever, Hemmick.” Boy sighed.

Nicky might be good with figuring out what made criminals tick but sometimes he was helpless when it came to expressing himself with something resembling common decency.

“I was just getting around to updating my report.” Erik smiled at Nicky.

“You two are giving me a headache.” Andrew groaned.

“Watch it, Andrew.” Nicky chided, “Your jealousy is showing.”

“Your organs are going to be showing in a second if you don't shut the fuck up.”

“And you wonder why they're making you take an extra therapy session today.” Reynolds muttered.

Wymack only rubbed his temples and let out a small sigh, “I swear, sometimes I feel like I'm wrangling college children and not full grown, adult, _federal agents_.”

“Anyway,” Erik interjected, “the cause of death is spinal trauma. Perimortem trauma to the top of the spinal column indicates that The Butcher began to...try to decapitate the victim while he was still alive.”

“Jesus fuck.” Wilds sighed.

“I'd say he made it about halfway through before he severed the connection to the brain stem and killed the man instantly.” Erik frowned, “The rest of the limbs were removed postmortem. Based on decay and other factors I'd put the time of death around three days ago in the early afternoon, then he put the body parts on ice before leaving them in the warehouse sometime around 7pm yesterday.”

“So they were sitting in that warehouse for only a couple hours before someone stumbled upon it?” Boyd frowned.

“The flickering from the candles caught the sight of a security guard and he went inside and found the scene.” Reynolds confirmed.

“I'll add this to my work up but...there's not much more I can say other than this guy is a fucked up asshole.” Nicky frowned before resting a hand on Andrew shoulder, “I'm here if you need to talk.”

Andrew looked down at Nicky hand on his shoulder for a brief second before shrugging it off, “I hate having family here.”

 

<O>

 

THE rest of the day passed without much affair. The small team went their separate ways to focus on other investigations when it was evident that there was no more headway they could make on The Butcher that day and Andrew stayed at his desk for hours, flipping through file after file, possibly hoping that a life threatening paper cut would be enough to excuse him from the menial task.

When he was done he realized that he was already running late for his mandatory meeting with one of the bureaus shrinks. Not that he cared, in fact, making her wait would only make the meeting more fun for him. He took his time as he locked up his desk, shrugged on his jacket, and made his way out of the building and down the couple blocks from the field office to the building that held the practice of one Betsy 'Bee' Dobson.

He didn't have anything against the woman personally, it was just that she reminded him too much of the child psychologists he was made to see after his mothers death. The ones that wanted to make sure he could actually solider on and move forward in the world without his precious mother. Which then started his pension for habitually lying to them. He was pretty sure when he was younger if he'd told one of the plump older woman who sat across a table from him while he scribbled in a coloring book that he was happy the woman was dead he would end up locked in a loony bin somewhere. It, unfortunately, carried over into his adult life so every meeting with Bee went the same. _How are you, Andrew?_ Good. _Do you still think of your partner?_ Sometimes. _Do you still feel responsible for his death?_ No, I know now that there was nothing I could do. _Are you lying to me, Andrew?_ No.

Oh well, she was wasting her own time, not his. He got out of all that paperwork and she got to be stuck in a room with a brick wall for half an hour.

Andrew stood at the intersection and looked across the way at the large flashing sign displaying the time and date. It was 3:44 and in a few more seconds he would officially be late to his appointment which he was sure Wymack wouldn't let him hear the end of.

The light to the crosswalk turned green at the exact same time the large clock across from him flicked to 3:45 and he took one step into the walkway before feeling the pull of a hand on the back of his coat. The sheer surprise of the attack caught him completely off guard dulled his reaction time. Before he knew it one of his arms had been pulled and pinned behind his back and the other flailed around uselessly trying to reach to his gun. A metallic flash caught his attention out of the corner of his eye and Andrew realized all at once what was happening. The attacker had produced a knife out of his sleeve and was dangerously close to dragging it across his neck. That was until the man was tackled from the side.

The surprising blow knocked the air out of Andrew's lungs as he fell towards the ground with his attacker and whoever jumped into the fray with them. Andrew was able to twist his arm free of the mans grasp and he rolled a few feet on the sidewalk in the opposite direction of the attacker. The crowd around them had already begun screaming and Andrew fished out his identification and held it above his head, “FBI, everyone stay calm!”

Andrew looked a few feet down the sidewalk and found his attacker being pounced on by a small, lithe, body. From behind all Andrew could see was the back of the persons head and their deep red curly hair as they brought a fist down into his attackers face. One time. Two times. Thee times. Four times. Fuck, this person wasn't going to stop anytime soon.

“Hey!” Andrew called out, pulling his gun out of his holster and scrambling down the sidewalk to pull his savior off of his attacker, “I think they get the point. Thank you for helping me but I can take it from-”

Andrew lost all ability to speak when his savior turned around and faced him. It was the kid from the alley and all he could focus on were the big blue eyes that he'd thought of all last night. In the daytime the kid looked even more stunning, his eyes shining and catching the sun just right, and he could make out a faint scar that ran from the edge of his jaw to just below his left eye socket. The kid looked at him with rage filled eyes before blinking a few times as they softened.

“It's you.” Andrew said softly.

“I told you, you were in danger.” The kid nodded.

“But...” Andrew trailed off, “What the fuck is going on.”

The kid closed his eyes and wrapped both of his hands around Andrew's. Andrew was too stunned to fight him off, be it the shock of almost being killed or the shock of seeing the beautiful, far too young and far too crazy kid again. The kids eyes shot open, once again letting out a loud gasp, “You're still not safe.”

“What?” Andrew took a step back, breaking off contact with the kid.

“You...you have to come with me if you want to live. I can protect you.” The kid said, turning his head to the left and letting his eyes focus on something that it seemed like only he could see.

“Listen, really, thank you for helping me with this guy but I think I can take it from here.” Andrew closed his gaping mouth, “How did you even find me? Have you been following me?”

“No!” The kid hissed, “I just knew where to look. We need to move, now.”

“I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what the fuck is going on.” Andrew jerked his hand away from the kid as he tried to grab it again.

“Why are you being so frustrating?” The kid spat.

“Me?” Andrew gasped, “You're the one stalking me and trying to get me to follow you. I've already dodged one crazy person today and I'm not in the mood to run off with another one.”

“I am not crazy.” The kid said softly as he pointed down the sidewalk while keeping his face turned towards Andrew, “Three men. One blue coat, one red coat, and one black coat. All wearing the same matching hat. Blue coat has a 9mm handgun and in ten seconds he will pull out his gun and start firing it into the crowd to try and hit you, if you don't want that to happen then you'll follow me and stay close.”

Andrew's eyes went wide as he looked in the direction of the the kids hand and saw three people matching the exact description come over the crest of the hill. Andrew watched as the man in the blue coat pulled out a gun and raised it.

“Fuck.” Andrew muttered as he pulled out his own gun and fired it into the brick wall next to hi. It made his attackers pause and the crowd around them start screaming and frantically running in every direction.

“Gun!” Andrew yelled, “Everyone get down.”

The kid looked back at him with wide eyes and frowned, “I didn't see that coming.”

Andrew looked back into those stupid fucking blue eyes and then down at the kids hand that was outstretched and awaiting his. He couldn't explain it but something inside of him felt like he could trust the kid, even if he was a fucking nutcase. He sucked in a deep breath and threaded his own fingers together with the kids and wordlessly followed him as he pulled Andrew into the secluded alley across from where they were standing.

 

 

 


	3. Calvary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for the kudos, and hits, and comments! i'm so excited that people seem to be interested in this weirdness that has taken over my brain for the last few days, i literally cannot stop myself from posting chapters so fast because i just want people to be able to read it...i never did do well with patience 
> 
> anyway, you get to spend more time with a certain unnamed boy this chapter, hopefully it's easy enough to follow along with his weirdness.

 

 

 

III

Calvary

 

HE led the blonde man through the winding back alley, trying to get as far away from their pursuers as possible. It was a good move by the blonde man, firing off one of his own shots to panic the crowd and buy them a few more precious seconds to make their escape. What wasn't good was that he didn't _see_ it. The eventuality he saw was Blue Coat pulling out the gun, firing a few rounds off into the crowd, hitting a woman and her small child and winging the blonde man. Nothing about the blonde man pulling firing off his own gun for a distraction.

It also wasn't good that he couldn't see more than 30 seconds out when it came to himself. It meant that he had to keep stopping every so often to refocus and figure out where to go next which led to an increasingly irritated blonde man behind him. They'd since let go of each others hands and now he was pacing back and forth in the alley, running his hands through his hair and wracking his brain trying to see more than just a few seconds out. Nothing was working. Every flash ended so fucking abruptly. Normally they would go on for as long as he could push it without getting a headache or a nose bleed but for some reason in the presence of the blonde man all of the flashes came to a screeching halt after less than a minute. Something wasn't right. He shouldn't be here. He should have just left the blonde man to his own devices and let everything play out as it should have. He'd seen people die before when he was looking forward for himself and there was always something he could have done to save them if he wanted to but he never felt the need. The doctor had drilled into him a fierce survival instinct, keep running forward, keep looking forward, keep yourself safe. She never said anything about keeping anyone else safe. So, why then, was he so invested in keeping the blonde man safe? Was it because he had seen someone else eventuality? Someone other than himself? He had to admit, it was different to experience the death of someone else from their perspective rather than watching it on the periphery of his own vision. That had to be it. He would have done the same with the doctor if he had seen it from her perspective too, even if she had told him not to.

“Why do we keep stopping?” The blonde man snapped from behind him.

“I need...I need a second to think.” He stammered.

“I ran in literally the opposite direction that all my training told me to because for some reason you seem to know exactly where to go but now we're stopping every second and I can just feel those assholes getting closer.” The blonde man growled.

He could feel them? Was the blonde man like him? Was that why he felt this connection? “What does it feel like? Can you tell where they're coming from? Are there more of them now?”

The blonde man raised an eyebrow and looked at him with a puzzled face, “What the hell are you talking about?”

“You said you could feel them, where are they?” He snapped.

“It's a figure of speech...” The blonde man muttered, “I knew he was fucking crazy. I'm gonna die. What the fuck am I doing?”

“I am not crazy.” He frowned as he took a moment to center himself and close his eyes again.

Take the turn to the left, go down the next narrow path to the right, then climb the gate and...shit it ended.

“Follow me.” He sighed, pointing towards the left.

The blonde man just stared at him with a look of defiance on his face and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Blonde man, I said _move_!” He shouted, probably too loudly, the Coats had to have heard him.

“Blonde...man?” The blonde man took a tentative step forward.

“You.” He pointed at him and then at his own hair, “Blonde. Man.”

“Oh my god.” The blonde man sighed as he fell into step behind him.

They both picked up the pace, breaking out into a run until they came to the gate.

“Climb.” He pointed.

“Why am I going first?” The blonde man had the defiant look on his face again.

“Because that's how I saw it.” He insisted, “Now climb.”

As the blonde man let out a huff and began to climb the gate he closed his eyes and tried to concentrate on where to go next.

Left turn, right turn, no...dead end. Left turn, another left turn, then right turn, and that was it, gone again.

He let out a low growl and climbed the fence as soon as the blonde man had his feet on the ground.

“I have a name.” The blonde man said as he followed him through the first left turn.

He didn't have time for conversation. He didn't want the mans name. He wanted to make sure he was safe and then never see him again. He heard the doctors voice in his head. _Don't learn names, it humanizes them. It makes you grow attached._ He never even knew her name, all those years together and she was still just the doctor until the day she died.

“It's Andrew.” The blonde ma-- Andrew said.

“I don't care.” He told Andrew.

“You care enough to help me, I figure you should at least know my name. Especially if we die together.” Andrew shrugged.

“We're not going to die.” He shook his head.

They made it to the edge of what he could see the last time he check and he held out a hand to signal Andrew to stop.

“Do you have a name?” Andrew asked.

He didn't answer.

He closed his eyes and pushed himself as far as he could, teetering on the edge of losing consciousness just in an attempt to stretch out his vision as far as Andrew's presence would allow it.

“Hey!” Andrew snapped, grabbing him by the hand and breaking him from his vision, “I asked if you had a name.”

He felt the rush again, the same rush he'd felt twice before when Andrew had him by the hand, he sucked in a deep breath and closed his eyes.

Red Coat was right behind them, he must have taken some kind of shortcut. No, he was on the roof. He was so stupid, why didn't he think of the roofs. Red Coat had a shotgun hidden under his coat. Red Coat was climbing down the fire escape just on the other side of the building next to them. Red Coat would walk around the corner, holding the shotgun level with Andrew's back and fire into him, blasting a hole clean through his chest and splattering him with Andrew's blood.

“What is your name?” Andrew shook him as he snapped out of his vision.

“Kneel!” He tugged at Andrew's hand, trying to get the man to lower his body out of the way of the blast.

“What?” Andrew gasped as he continued to pull on his hand.

“Kneel!” He pleaded again, pulling with all his might to get Andrew to lower himself.

“You name is...Neil?” Andrew wondered.

“Get down!” He screamed, pulling Andrew's entire weight on top of him just before the shotgun blast went off. It narrowly missed the both of them but he swore he could feel a pellet or two hit somewhere on his side.

Red Coat hadn't expected him to miss. It gave him just the opening he needed, he closed his eyes and pushed Andrew to the side, “Stay as far back from me as you can.”

He hoped by pushing Andrew to the other end of the alley it would at least give him another second or two to see things.

Red Coat would refocus himself in just a few seconds so he made his move, diving in for the feet and knocking him off balance. It worked and the shotgun fell from his hands. He reached out with his left arm to push the gun as far away as possible and delivered a fierce jab to Red Coats stomach. It should keep him down for a few minutes at least.

He pushed backwards off of the man and closed his eyes to see what would happen next. Black Coat was just around the corner, drawn in by the sound of the blast. He didn't have any guns with him but he did have to particularly lethal looking blades on him. Black Coat would round the corner any second now with both of his blades drawn.

He looked up to see that Andrew had drawn his gun and was holding it at the ready. He didn't like the uncertainty the gun provided. He couldn't see the last time Andrew had used it and he didn't want to risk his perfectly crafted plan now. He held up a warning hand in Andrew's direction, “No gun.” He whispered to the man who only returned a searing scowl and didn't lower his weapon.

Black Coat was about to round the corner so he picked up the stray brick at his feet and closed his eyes. He would deliver a glancing blow to Black Coat who would swipe out at him with the left knife, cutting his arm open. It would hurt and it would be deep. He took a few seconds to adjust accordingly.

As Black Coat stepped around the corner he swung the brick in an upward arc rather than horizontally, surprising Black Coat with the upward motion. He hit just at the base of Black Coats chin and heard a satisfying crunch. Black Coat let out a strangled yell as he lashed out forward with both of his knives. He threw the brick at Black Coats foot, hopefully breaking one or two toes, and stepped back again to close his eyes.

Black Coat would lash out from the left, then the right, then drive forward with both knives. He would be ready.

Black Coat lunched forward, slashing first with his left blade. He stepped out of the way and drove an open palm into the side of Black Coats left wrist which caused him to yelp and lose his weapon. Black Coat slashed right this time and he ducked, swiping his leg around and knocking Black Coats feet out from under him, smiling as he heard the back of his skull make contact with the pavement. He grabbed the blade from Black Coats right hand and drove it into the attackers chest.

He closed his eyes for a moment to make sure the man would stay down. He smiled, Black Coat would be dead in less than ten seconds.

He turned his attention to Red Coat now who was about to get back up. Red Coat would rise, pick up the discarded shotgun, and fire it into his back, killing him.

Or rather, Red Coat would have if he hadn't picked up the knife that fell from Black Coats left hand and threw it towards Red Coats jugular without looking. Red Coat died instantly.

He looked back at Andrew who sat on the ground and as far away from his as possible with his jaw slack and his gun dangling from his hand.

“See. No gun.”

He walked over to both of the knives and wiped his fingerprints off of them with the sleeve of his shirt, taking great care to make sure that there were no traces of him left behind. When he was satisfied he turned back to Andrew who was still sitting on the ground, probably in shock.

“I...need to get to a phone.” Andrew said, still blinking, “Mine broke back when you tackled me. I need to call this in.”

He closed his eyes and chewed on his bottom lip before responding, “The left side of the building will let you out half a mile from where I found you. It should be safe. I don't see Blue Coat, he was probably taken into custody.”

Andrew nodded and got up from the ground, dusting off his pants and taking a few tentative steps forward, “Hey...are you OK?”

He closed his eyes for a few seconds to find out, “I'll survive. Give me a few minutes to get out of here before you call it in.”

“What?” Andrew looked at him with a flat expression, “You're not going anywhere.”

“I can't be here when your people come, I've already put myself in too much danger just by helping you.”

The Director would most certainly here about this.

“And how exactly am I supposed to explain what happened here without you?” Andrew asked.

“That's not my problem, Blonde Man.” He said, “I mean...Andrew.”

He knew Andrew wouldn't put up any resistance so he turned to head back to where he'd stashed his backpack before going to help Andrew.

“Wait, Neil!” Andrew called out behind him.

He stopped and turned back towards Andrew with a confused look on his face, “Why did you call me that again?”

“It's your name, idiot.” Andrew shook his head, “That's what you said.”

“I...never said...” He frowned, not able to say what he wanted, _I don't have a name_

He turned and ran off before Andrew could reply. He didn't want to stick around and see any more of his face, he didn't want to wonder anymore why he risked so much to help him, he didn't want to think about Andrew having an actual name or Andrew trying to give him one.

The doctor was right, names were terrible things.

 

<O>

 

ANDREW sat in disbelief on the sidewalk as the CSU team rolled in and began casing out the scene. It had only been about ten minutes since he'd called it in but he knew that there was already someone in the area because of the gunshots he'd caused a few blocks over.

“You better have a damn good explanation for this.” The shadow that was now standing above him boomed.

“I...” Andrew trailed off as he looked up at Wymack's scowl, “I missed my appointment.”

“You need to cut the shit right now,” Wymack glared, “we have a shot fired from your service weapon, a fucking city wide panic, and now two dead bodies. You're no use sitting here on the ground like a scared kid.”

The words spurred a deep anger in Andrew's chest. Fuck him, he had no idea what a scared kid looked like. This wasn't him scared, he wasn't sitting there in the cold, his entire body black and blue because of his stupid fucking mother. This was him in shock. This was him trying to figure out just what in the fuck had happened today. How the kid...no, how Neil did whatever the hell it was he did.

How did Neil find him? How did Neil know exactly what was going to happen? How did Neil know where to run? How the fuck did Neil fight off two armed and clearly trained attackers with his _eyes closed_.

“Fuck you.” Was all Andrew needed to put into words before he stood.

“Good,” Wymack nodded, “tell me what the hell happened.”

Andrew sighed and stretched out his legs, “I was on my way to my appointment with Dobson when this guy grabbed me from behind, he had a knife and he was about a second away from slitting my throat when some...guy must have noticed what was about to happen. He tackled the guy who grabbed me and then saw that there were more people coming. One of them had a gun and was going to fire it into the crowd so I fired mine off into the wall nearby to get people to clear the area in a panic.”

It was the bare bones version of the truth, the truth that Andrew didn't even fucking understand. He hoped it would be enough for Wymack.

“So,” Wymack sighed, “you're telling me that some random guy just helped you out of nowhere and then ran off?”

Andrew rocked back and forth on his feet, “He said he was from around the area and knew a quick way to get away from them. I think he was homeless or something, he said he knew shortcuts through the back alleys. My phone was broken and I had no way to call anything in and I didn't want to leave myself in the same spot and risk other people getting hurt when these guys were clearly after me for some reason.”

Wymack raised his eyebrow but remained otherwise stoic, “So, you followed a homeless guy into the alley and then what?”

“Well,” Andrew wracked his brain to figure out the best way to phrase himself, “he knew where he was going. He knew all the right turns to make to get us to safety. Two of the attackers caught up to us, one of them had a shotgun and all I remember is the guy telling me to get down, pushing me to the ground and then I think I hit my head. I don't remember anything after that, I must have passed out. When I woke up there were two bodies, no homeless guy, and I got to the nearest phone to call you.”

His story was a little messy but the best way to explain anything away would be to just blame it on the fact that he had a head injury. Thankfully there was a nice lump forming on the side of his head from where Neil had tackled him down originally.

“Did you get a name from this homeless guy?” Wymack asked.

Andrew gave him a bored look, “No, I got his address though.”

“Watch your mouth or you'll be adding another head injury to your insurance claim today.” Wymack sighed, “We're going to need you to talk to a sketch artist about this guy.”

“Why?” Andrew asked, half in shock.

“We need to know what he looks like, we can't have some killing machine running around out there even if he helped one of our own.”

“Why do I need to talk to a sketch?”

“Funny thing,” Wymack's face was as far from amused as it possibly could be, “every single camera in half mile radius of the initial attack went down at 3:43pm. I mean every single one, security, ATM, police dash cams, all of them.”

“The guy grabbed me at 3:45.” Andrew nodded in disbelief.

“Who else knew about your appointment with Dobson?” Wymack asked in a hushed tone.

“Everyone who was in Erik's lab today and Dobson's secretary, I guess.” Andrew said softly.

“These guys knew where you would be, Doe.” Wymack said solemnly.

“I was running late though,” Andrew shook his head, “I already should have been inside by the time the cameras were cut.”

“These look like the kind of guys who can adjust to things on the fly,” Wymack shook his head, “they knew where you would be and around what time.”

Yeah, so did Neil.

Andrew finally registered the large frame that was waving a few feet away from them, Erik had arrived on the scene sometime during his conversation with Wymack and was examining the bodies, “You two might want to come over here.” Erik's words didn't hold the same perpetual happiness they usually had no matter what he was elbow deep in.

Wymack must have sensed the difference in Erik's usual behavior and hustled over without saying anything.

Andrew trailed behind him and came to a short stop a few feet away from the bodies, “Any hope in finding out who these assholes were.”

“That was why I called you over,” Erik frowned and held up the hand on one of the men, palm side up, “his fingerprints have been burned off. Same with the other one.”

Andrew furrowed his brow as he dropped to his knee to take a closer look at the dead mans hands and sure enough each end of his fingers had something done to it to remove the print, “How do you even do that?”

“There are plenty of ways,” Erik shook his head, “all of them painful. I'll figure out exactly how when I get them back to the lab. This isn't even the best part through.”

Andrew closed his eyes and rested his face in his hand, “What else, Klose?”

Erik smiled and opened the dead mans mouth revealing a full set of stitched up gums, “He has no teeth.”

Wymack took a step backwards and rested a hand on his stomach before turning away, “Fucking stuff of nightmares.”

“No teeth at all?” Andrew's eyes went wide as he looked into the dead mans mouth.

“No,” Erik shook his head, “the other one is the exact same way.”

“What the fuck?” Andrew whispered.

“No hair on their bodies either, at least from the parts I can check in public without being...unanständig”Erik frowned and ended his sentence in German, most likely because he couldn't translate his thoughts into English.

“The word you're looking for is indecent, Klose.” Andrew rolled his eyes.

“Yes,” Erik smiled, “tip of my tongue.”

“Get them back to the lab and try to get me any information you can on who these fuckers were.” Wymack sighed as he walked away from the bodies, “Doe, got get yourself checked out by an EMT.”

Andrew waved him off and walked in the opposite direction of the EMTs. He started in the same direction he'd saw the kid...no, Neil, run off in.

He wanted fucking answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yay! now the boy with no name is named! i hope it wasn't too dumb. and i hope you're all enjoying a more...relaxed andrew, obv his history is a bit different but he's still got his demons which we'll get into sooner rather than later.


	4. Long Day's Journey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this is kinda just a transitional chapter thats really more of like 3.5 rather than 4 but its just here to set up some more interesting stuff towards the end, next chapter should be much more fun with things should pick up more
> 
> also, i should have mentioned it from the beginning but the title of this fic (and all the chapter titles too) are episode titles from Angel, the Buffy spin off that is superb and kinda became my inspiration for this fic a bit after a late night binge session of random episodes.

 

 

 

IV

Long Day's Journey

 

LIGHT was quickly fading from the world around him as he weaved his way through the crowd. He pulled the hood on his stolen sweatshirt up as far as it would go, smiling as it fit snugly around his head and drooped just low enough to cover the top of his face. It was intimidating enough to ward people away from him. His hands began to tremble as he clutched one of the straps of his stolen backpack, it had been almost 12 hours since he'd eaten anything and using up so much energy with Andr-the blonde man hadn't helped.

He was already beginning to feel the after effects of pushing himself that far. He could feel his own thoughts growing disjointed in his head as the world started to blur at the edges. It was a terrible thing, debilitating almost, to feel the intelligence slowly seep out of his body. One second his mind was a finely tuned machine, a weapon even, prepared and ready to react or strike out as the situation required. But at times like this, times after having pushed himself to the absolute precipice of control, it all melted away. He was fairly confident he couldn't even pronounce precipice right now and then he stopped for a second to linger on the word, he didn't even know what it meant anymore.

It was by far the worst drawback of everything. He could deal with the pain, with the bloody nose, even the occasional blackout because those were all out of his control. But feeling his mind unravel and regress? It was terrifying. It was like being a prisoner locked inside of another body while someone else comes in to pilot it, someone who has no idea what they're doing. He needed to find a safe place before it fully set in.

Glancing around he realized he was near a warehouse district. There had to be something nice and abandoned in there where he could wait it out. He broke into the first one he found that was safe and wouldn't have any distractions. He slowly pulled himself up a set of rickety stairs and found a nice, small room for himself to curl up in. He unzipped the backpack and pulled out two granola bars, an apple, and a bottle of water. He finished everything off with a quickness and closed his eyes, curling inward on himself and doing his best to make his body as small as possible. The childlike haze settled over him like an uncomfortably warm blanket and he couldn't help but wish he had someone there to make him feel just a little more safe.

 

<O>

 

THE longer Andrew spent walking random streets and back roads the darker it got. He hated to be this deep into a sketchy part of the city as the sun went down but he was on a singular mission to find the runner. To find Neil. At least the kid had a name now and he didn't have to think of him as just 'the kid' though it did strike Andrew as odd the way that Neil looked at him with complete confusion upon hearing his own name.

He'd left behind the wrath of Wymack hours ago, resolving to deal with his fury tomorrow as his hours of searching finally brought him to a rundown warehouse district. He'd checked shelters, parks, and anywhere else a scared homeless kid could possibly go and found no sign of Neil and this was his last hope. The rows of buildings seemed to stretch out for miles, dozens of multi level metal monstrosities, abandoned when owners or companies could no longer afford to keep them open due to their failing businesses. They were the perfect place for a runaway to hide and now he just had to figure out which building Neil could possibly be in. He walked the perimeters of a few buildings, noting broken windows and freshly crunched up glass but walked passed them. Something told him that Neil would be far more subtle with a break in.

Andrew finally settled on one of the large buildings at the end of the row, it looked reasonably secure, he could see even from the outside that it would have multiple exits in case of an emergency, and it was the only one without a broken window. He pulled a pair of lock picks out of his coat pocket and slid them into the door to test it out and found that the lock was a bit loose as if it had been picked only a little while before.

“Bingo.” Andrew said under his breath. He knew all the tricks like the back of his hand.

Andrew opened the door as slowly and quietly as possible, the last thing he wanted to do was spook Neil or alert him to his presence. Partly because he didn't want him to run again and party because there was a small part of him that was scared to find himself on the other end of Neil's impressive fighting skills. The building itself was still huge and finding a single small, skinny, and flighty person in it was going to be a challenge in and of itself. He began to canvas the entry way, looking for any signs of Neil. Luckily, the floor hadn't been cleaned in years and left a perfect path of footprints for Andrew to follow. Either Neil was getting sloppy or something else was wrong and he wasn't paying attention to little details like that.

The footprints led to a rather dangerous looking staircase, old and rotted wood spiraling it's way upwards to the higher floors. He took a tentative step onto the first stair, testing it's integrity with his foot before deciding it was safe. He repeated the process for each step, keeping a slow and steady pace as he climbed the dilapidated staircase, unwilling to risk a broken limb just because he was careless and in a hurry.

When he finally reached the top level he let out a grateful sigh and picked the tracks back up, following them in and out of open rooms, figuring that Neil wasn't satisfied with what they had to offer as the trails led in and then immediately back out. By the time Andrew made it to the end of the hallway he didn't have to follow the trail anymore. As he looked across the room in front of him he could make out a small figure tucked away in a corner surrounded by granola bar wrappers, an empty water bottle, and an apple core.

Andrew took a few steps closer and confirmed what he already knew, it was Neil. Neil had curled himself in a ball, making his sleeping form as small as possible, and had draped his sweater over him as a makeshift blanket. He wasn't having a particularly restful sleep either and Andrew could see him moving slightly, rocking back and forth and mumbling a few words in his sleep.

“No.” Neil said softly, “I can't run anymore.”

Andrew frowned and dropped to one knee in front of him, entirely unsure of how he wanted to play this. He hated when people woke him up during one of his nightmares and he could only assume Neil felt the same. So Andrew sat back on his feet and decided to wait, he would wait for however long it took Neil to wake up and then he would get his answers. He also wasn't looking forward to seeing what Neil looked like when he woke up. Nope. Not at all.

The minutes seemed to stretch on forever as he waited. Eventually he reached into his pocket to check the time on his phone but before he could even retrieve it the phone began to ring. It was an ear piercing siren, one he reserved for calls directly from Wymack's personal cell.

“Fuck.” Andrew muttered as he looked across the room towards the sleeping Neil. The sleeping Neil who was now awake and looked like he was ready to strike out at any moment.

Neil was on his feet in an instant, his sweater pulled over him and his backpack already on his back before he'd even straightened his body out. The boys eye darted across the room looking for the source of the perceived danger and then those terribly big, terribly blue eyes went wide as they registered Andrew.

If Andrew wasn't half worried that Neil was about to pounce him and break his neck he would have stopped to make note of how good he looked even as he woke up in a panic. His cheeks were flushed, this eyes alert and hazy at the same time, and his unruly auburn hair even more tousled and wild.

“You!” Neil breathed, half crouched and looking for an exit.

“Me.” Andrew nodded.

“You...how did you find me?” Neil gasped, “How didn't I see this?”

“I have experience tracking people, you weren't that hard to find once I got onto your trail.” Andrew said.

“So stupid,” Neil huffed as he began to knock a closed fist against his own forehead, “if he can find me then they can find me.”

Andrew watched with his eyes wide as Neil paced back and forth in front of him, muttering to himself about how stupid he was and repeated hitting himself on the forehead.

“Hey! Stop hitting yourself!” Andrew warned, reaching out a hand towards Neil but stopping when he saw the way he recoiled.

Neil jumped back so far he had to have crossed half the room in less than a second, his body began to recoil and he sank down into a corner, “Don't touch me.”

Neil's voice was quiet and soft but it held a terrifying edge to it. It was at the same time a plea and a warning.

Andrew held his hands up and took a step backwards, “I wont touch you unless you say I can.”

Andrew stayed in his spot across from Neil, watching his as he sat there curled into a defensive position and trembling slightly. The Neil in front of him was different than the Neil from earlier in the day. He was less commanding and seemed like less of a force of nature than he had earlier. The difference in the person who effortlessly killed two men who were attacking him and the person who was huddled into a ball because he thought someone was going to touch him was like night and day. It was as if a warrior had been replaced with a scared child. Nothing about Neil made sense and he fucking hated that he wanted to know more. He hated even more that his first instinct was to want to protect the person who was cowering in front of him.

“I'm not here to hurt you.” Andrew said, taking another step backwards and keeping his hands raised.

Neil still didn't react, either to speak or to try and flee so Andrew wrote it off as better than nothing. He sat down on the ground and kept his hands under him in a show of good faith. He sat there for what seemed like hours while Neil alternated between locking him into a stare and muttering to himself while running his hands through his hair.

Eventually Neil stood, blinking a few times and rubbing his eyes before leaning back to stretch. It was only a brief flash but Andrew caught sight of a long scar that traced over his abdomen. It caused a phantom pain in his own shoulder to stir, he knew all about those kinds of scars.

“Why are you here?” Neil asked, his eyes zeroing in on Andrew and walking across the room to stand in front of him.

It was as if a switch had been flipped and the Neil from earlier in the day was back, “I have questions.”

Neil snorted and took a seat across from Andrew, carefully keeping more than an arms length of distance between the two of them, “What makes you think I have answers?”

Andrew narrowed his eyes as he tried to figure out why Neil would even give him the time of day, they both knew that if the boy really wanted to his could be out of that room in a second, so why was he actually entertaining a conversation?

“I see you twice in less than 24 hours and first you tell me I'm in danger,” Andrew laughed, “then you tackle some asshole who tried to slit my throat and then kill two of his buddies and lead me through the most confusing back alleys I've ever been in like you knew it by the back of your hand.”

“Is there an answer to my question in there somewhere?” Neil narrowed his eyes.

“Asshole,” Andrew grumbled, “the way I see it is that either you were part of the group that wanted me dead and you had a crisis of conscious or you know who they are and what they planned to do and you decided to help me.”

“Funny,” Neil laughed, “I don't here a thank you anywhere in there. Next time I'll remember how ungrateful you are and how you sneak up on people when they're fucking sleeping before I save you.”

“Next time?” Andrew narrowed his eyes, “You've got a mouth on you, huh kid?”

Neil reaction was almost imperceptible, it was just the slightest twitch of his body and how his eyes went a little wider than they had been before but the shudder that went through his boy afterwards betrayed everything he tried to hid, whatever Andrew had just said scared the shit out of him.

“I...” Neil trailed off, “I'm...please...I'm sorry. My temper...sometimes...just don't.”

Neil had started rambling and looking off into space, his eyes were still on Andrew but he wasn't paying attention to him, he was looking through Andrew and at whoever had scared the shit out of him with those words.

“Hey!” Andrew snapped his fingers to get Neil's attention, “Neil! Neil!”

Neil blinked a few times and sat there quiet for a second as all the blood returned to his pale face, “Why do you keep calling me that?”

“Calling you what?” Andrew raised an eyebrow.

“ _Neil._ ”

“Because that's your name, idiot.”

Neil wrinkled his brow and stood up from the ground, walking to the window and looking outside for a few moments before turning back to Andrew, “Where did you come up with that?”

“You told me.” Andrew said, “In the alley when you were pulling on my arm. Before the shotgun.”

“Oh.” Neil tried to stifle a laugh but it escaped.

“And what is so funny?” Andrew growled as he jumped to his feet.

“I was...I was telling you to duck,” Neil laughed and dropped to one knee, “ _Kneel_ not Neil.”

Andrew stared back at him with his jaw slack, “Who the fuck says 'kneel' when you can just say 'duck'?”

Neil, or whatever the fuck his name was, doubled over in laughter, “Oh my god, you're so stupid.”

“Then what is your name?” Andrew snapped.

Neil stopped laughing almost instantly and look back at him with those same wide eyes, “I don't have a name.”

“Really?” Andrew crossed his arms over his chest, “You don't have a name or you don't want to give it to me?”

Neil looked at him for another lingering moment before turning his back to Andrew completely and looking out the window, his shoulders slumped forward and he raised a finger to the dusty glass and began to write something in it, “I don't have one. I was never important enough for a name. Name's make things real.”

Andrew felt a small pit in his stomach as he took in the kids words, there was such an air of sadness about them that it had to be true, however raw it was. He watched Neil's slumped figure walk away from the window and back to the corner that he had been sleeping in and Andrew walked towards the window, “Well, Neil isn't too bad and until you can give me something better that's what I'm sticking with.”

Neil didn't say anything as Andrew walked over to the dirty window, he looked at what Neil had written into the dirt and dust.

 

**jN10r**

 

Neil came up behind him, almost in complete silence, and wiped a hand across the window pane to erase the combination to letters and numbers. It startled Andrew enough to make him jump and take a few steps away from Neil, “What the hell?”

“Mind your own business. You shouldn't be here. It isn't safe for either of us. I'm glad you're safe now please leave and let me get out of the city.”

“You can't leave,” Andrew insisted, “you're tied to two active investigations.”

“I don't care about your investigations!” Neil spat, “I've put myself in enough danger trying to protect you, I'm not involving myself with you anymore.”

Andrew opened his mouth to respond when his phone began to ring violently again, “Stay there!” Andrew pointed a finger towards Neil as he turned back to answer his phone.

“Doe.” Andrew said into the phone, “What do you want, Wymack?”

“Where the fuck are you, Doe? I've been trying to reach for you an hour.” Wymack huffed.

“I'm tracking down a lead, can this wait until tomorrow?” Andrew sighed.

“No.” Wymack said, his voice coming out firm, “You need to get your ass to the forensics lab now. There's something you need to see.”

“I'm busy right now, Wymack.” Andrew shook his head.

“Get your insubordinate ass down here now if you want to have a job tomorrow. That's an order.” Wymack growled and hung up the phone before Andrew could answer again.

Andrew shoved his phone back into his pocket with a huff and turned back towards a still wary Neil.

“I have to go,” Andrew sighed, “but I'm not done talking to you.”

“Too bad,” Neil shrugged, “I'm leaving the second you walk out that door.”

“God dammit.” Andrew mumbled as he reached into one of the many pockets on his jacket before pulling out a small pad of paper and a pen. He gave Neil an apprehensive look before scribbling down something on the paper and holding it out towards him, “Take it.”

Neil didn't move to grab the paper, he only let his gaze flicker between the pad and Andrew's face before speaking, “What is that?”

“It's my phone number,” Andrew shook his head, “I don't know what's up with you or anything about your story but you helped me and I don't like having any debts with people. Clearly there's something going on with you so this is my number, you can call me if you're in trouble or something and I'll try and help you the best I can.”

Neil blinked a few times before reaching out slightly but then shaking his head and pulling his hand back, “I don't have a phone.”

Of course the homeless kid doesn't have a phone. What was he thinking? He looked at the piece of paper again and let out another sigh before clicking his pen and adding something else under his phone number.

He looked back at Neil and sat the piece of paper on the ground with the pen covering it, “If you need anything...don't hesitate.”

Neil didn't make a move towards the paper or reply so Andrew took it as his cue to leave. He gave Neil one last look before he turned on his heels and left the room. He let out a small laugh when he got back to the old and rotten stairs and couldn't help but think about how stupid he was.

He really just gave a homeless kid that he knew nothing about, a kid he saw kill two fully armed men in a back alley without breaking a sweat, his phone number and _his address and apartment number_.

Death wish, party of one, your table is ready.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i promise how weirdly written Neil is in the second half of this chapter is less my bad writing and more on purpose lol


	5. Tomorrow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hopefully you guys are as into this chapter as was when i was writing it! i think it might be my favorite one i've written so far!

 

 

 

 

V

Tomorrow

 

HE stayed in his safe spot in the corner until Andrew had left the warehouse, listening for the sound of the old door wrenching open and then tracking the shorter blonde man through the window as he walked across the front the the building. Andrew stopped about halfway across the length of the building and looked back up at him, giving a small wave before turning his back completely and walking off towards the main street.

He let out a long breath and let his body collapse a bit towards the wall, staying like that for a few moments as the tension began to bleed out of him. It was an altogether terrifying experience. The last time he'd woke up to someone in a room with him it ended in a fight for his life and left him broken and bloody. Still, once his mind pieced together that it was Andrew standing in front of him and not someone like _her_ or anyone else who'd been sent after him his first instinct wasn't to run or attack. It was odd, he had to admit, not minding Andrew's presence. Other than the fact that the man was a little obtuse and seemed dead set on calling him 'Neil' there was something about him that was almost calming. Plus, he hadn't touched him after he said not to nor did he beat him for having a 'smart mouth' like so many others had.

“Neil.” He whispered before repeating it again a little louder, “Neil.” No one had ever cared enough to give him a name like that before and it made him feel oddly...happy. Not that he would ever go by it, he was more than content being a nameless kid that wandered the streets. It was safer that way, safer to be alone and unwanted. But still, just the fact that there was someone out there who thought he had a name..

He supposed it could be considered comfortable if not for the fact that for some reason unknown to him Andrew dulled his senses. He'd attempted to stretch his mind outwards as far as it could go when Andrew was in front of him but he still ended up only being able to see less than a minute into his eventuality. Regardless of whatever calming presence or comfort Andrew seemed to offer it was terribly ill advised to seek him out or continue anymore contact with him for that reason alone. Andrew was dangerous, not in the sense that he was afraid the blonde man would hurt him, but in the sense that he couldn't rely on the only thing he'd been depending on to keep himself alive since being alone these last five years.

Andrew was a liability at best and a death wish at worst. So why did he walk towards the paper and hold it between his fingers as if it was some sort of lifeline?

He looked down at the thin page in his hand and frowned. Across the top was a string of ten numbers, Andrew's phone number. Which was pointless to him since homeless runaways often didn't have a way to actually use a phone unless he spent what little cash he did have on a burner or used a payphone. He would have been able to write that one off, to crumple up the number and throw it on a pile with the rest of the trash in this god forsaken building. But not when he saw what was written under the number. It took his mind a few seconds to make sense of it, he had almost pulled all of his normal brain functions back together after his nap but he wasn't quite working at full capacity yet, but once he realized that Andrew had given him the location of his apartment along with the number that he actually lived in he could no longer discard it. The idea of balling it up and throwing it in the trash struck some kind of chord inside of him. Was it the idea of an actual home? The promise of having somewhere to go if he really was in trouble?

He reached down and ran a hand over his chest, feeling the pathways of scar tissue below the fabric, and sighed. There was an intense burning feeling running through his body. It was something he'd never felt before, something he had no way of describing or attributing to any normal bodily reaction. There was only one thing he was sure of: Andrew was a problem.

It seemed though that he had bigger problems to worry about at the moment than the idea of Andrew. A loud screech came from the area below him. It was the sound of the door being forced open once again but this time with less care than Andrew had done. His entire body tense and he quickly closed his eyes.

The flashes came in quick and stuttered but it was entirely clear what was happening. Blood. Screaming. Searing pain. The crunching of bones. Metal on metal. Marks cut into his skin.

He'd been so caught up in the idea of Andrew and he was still feeling the effects of the mans mere presence that he hadn't thought to keep checking further out in his mind. It was something he was going to pay dearly for if he didn't.

A gentle wrapping sound floated through the building, the sound of someone tapping their nails against a hollow wall. He'd heard the sound a hundred times before and it always left him feeling sick. The rapping turned to screeching as the sound of metal dragging against metal echoed off the walls. He'd seen it in a horror movie once, the killer walking down a long hallway with a glove of blades on, dragging them against the wall so it made that horrible sound. He often wondered if she got her inspiration from the nightmare monster with the blades on his hand or if he got it from her.

“We're closer than we've ever been, Junior.” The sickly twisted voice wafted up the steps towards him.

He held his breath and closed his eyes once more. Fighting the shudder that being called by that terrible...not a name...produced. The building was surrounded. Men in coats like the ones who had attacked Andrew earlier in the day had formed a perimeter outside of the building. Every which way his mind went resulted in the same thing: capture and pain.

He ducked into the next room over, keeping himself low to the ground and moving as softly as he could to minimize his sound output. Perhaps he could sneak past her somehow. The future was always in flux, one small action could change the course of things in an instant. He wouldn't give in and resign himself to being captured just because that was all he could see at the moment. He had always run from her, terrified of her eyes and her terrible hands, the doctor had always warned him that if she was around to run. Run and never look back. Maybe it was true, maybe he couldn't stop her. But he would try.

Lola wasn't taking him today. Not without a fight.

 

<O>

 

ANDREW sat in his car outside of the forensics lab and stared blankly out of the front of it. He couldn't get Neil out of his head. He'd never been so singularly focused on someone like this before. He couldn't entirely explain it. Yes, Neil was objectively attractive and he had very nice lips that seemed as if they would be fun to kiss, but there was something more to him. Something about Neil and his flighty nature, the scars he saw peaking out from under his shirt, the look of fear in his eyes when he thought Andrew was going to hurt him, that fact that he really meant it when he said he didn't actually have a name and ...it was like a puzzle that was begging to be solved. And that wasn't even taking into account his impressive martial arts skills and his intimate knowledge of back alleys . Before he could think anymore about the fact that he'd given Neil his address a loud thumping from his passenger side window drew his attention to Walker's smiling face.

“If you're not in there in 30 Wymack is going to have a meltdown.”

Andrew rolled his eyes and let himself out of his car, leaving his jacket in the backseat and shoving his phone into his pocket, “Do you know what's so important?”

“No real details,” Walker said, “I assume it had to do with Erik's work up on those two guys who attacked you. Are you OK, by the way?”

“Yeah,” Andrew nodded, “not a scratch on me.”

“I'd ask if our sparring lessons help you fend them off but from what I hear you didn't even have to lift a finger.” Walker smiled.

“It's been a...day.” Andrew sighed and swiped his badge to let the two of them into the forensics lab.

He and Walker made their way down the long corridor to Erik's main lab and found themselves in only the presence of him and Wymack when they entered.

“Where is everyone else? Where is Reynolds” Walker wondered with a slight raise of her eyebrow.

“Officially?” Wymack crossed his arms over his chest, “They're working on other cases.”

“And unofficially?” Andrew asked as he leaned against a cold metal slab of a table.

“There was just a dead body on that, by the way.” Erik nodded from the other side of them room.

Andrew shuddered and removed his arms from the table, nervously brushing himself off.

“Unofficially...” Wymack repeated, “they're being monitored until I can figure out that we don't have a mole.”

“A mole?” Walker gasped.

Andrew narrowed his eyes and looked Wymack up and down, “This is about the attack, isn't it?”

Wymack only nodded in affirmation before he spoke, “The only people who knew about your appointment with Dobson, other than Dobson herself, were in this room yesterday.”

“What about her secretary?” Andrew asked.

“I spoke with her and your meeting wasn't on the books because it was so last minute, she was fitting you in on her break between two other clients.” Wymack said with a frown.

“So...you think that someone on the team gave up where Andrew was going to be so they could try and take him out for some reason?” Walker looked dumbfounded.

“It's the only thing that makes sense right now, other than Dobson herself turning...which I don't think is possible.” Wymack shook his head.

“If you think there's a mole then why are Klose and Walker here?” Andrew raised an eyebrow.

“Walker, Klose, Hemmick, and I spent the entire time between when you left the lab and your appointment together. They only just learned of your appointment in the lab that day and there was no chance for any of them to make contact.” Wymack said.

“Why isn't Nicky here then?” Andrew asked.

“Hemmick didn't need to be brought in on this one once we cleared him of suspicion.” Wymack said, casting a glance at Erik.

“This seems a dangerous situation and I would prefer it if Nicholas was not involved.” Erik only nodded.

“Isn't this why there's a no fraternization rule?” Andrew laughed.

“Hemmick isn't officially under me, I don't give a damn about who or what he does. Erik has been good to our team so if I have to afford him some leeway or just look the other way on some things then so be it.” Wymack shrugged.

“Do you have a main suspect?” Andrew asked cautiously.

Wymack gave Walker a nervous glance that spoke in volumes what he didn't want to say out loud.

“Reynolds.” Walker said in a soft voice.

“She was the one who told Wymack my reaction at the crime scene...and I still think she blew it out of proportion. She knew Wymack would either make me go see Dobson or ground me again and she knows me well enough that I'd rather go through the motions with a shrink than be stuck at a desk for any longer than I have to be.” Andrew took a seat on one of the cold benches and started running the last day or so back through his mind, trying to see if his perfect memory could pick out something that seemed unusual about the team.

“Boyd and Wilds aren't ruled out either, they were on their own after the lab. We're running deep checks on all of them.” Wymack shook his head.

“We've been a team for almost four years,” Walker's voice sounded broken, “I refuse to believe that any of them could turn like this. That Reynolds...or anyone else could betray us or try to kill Andrew.”

“I don't know,” Andrew laughed, “even on a good day I'm pretty sure the three of them would jump at a chance to kill me even without being turned.”

Walker should him an icy glare, “This is not the time for jokes, Andrew.”

“Both of you keep it together!” Wymack warned, “I can't have the only two agents I trust falling apart because of this. The two of you need to watch them, especially Reynolds, and see if anything out of the ordinary happens. I'll continue the digging on my end and I'll let you know of anything I find the second I can.”

The room was filled with a tense silence for a few moments before Erik finally spoke, “Would anyone like to know what I found when examining the attackers?”

The three heads turned towards Erik and gave him a blank look before walking over to the two slabs that held the dead bodies of Andrew's attackers.

“Cause of death for the first one is the knife to the heart, he died instantly. The second one was the knife to the jugular, he bled out and choked on his own blood in just a few seconds. Your vigilante knew what they were doing, Doe.”

Andrew shuddered at the memories of Neil fighting the two men in the alley. His vigilante had the directions to his apartment.

“What about the fingerprints?” Wymack asked.

“I ran some tests and they were burned off with sulfuric acid. It's not the quickest method and depending on the dilution ratio it can be extremely painful so these guys were dedicated.”

Andrew leaned down to look at the scarred tips of the fingers and winced, “The teeth?”

“Surgically removed.” Erik nodded, “likely done under anesthesia. The gums have the typical cuts and stitches from a routine tooth extraction but I will admit that I've never seen all of them taken out at once.”

“So there's nothing to identify them with?” Walker leaned in closer and asked.

“No.” Erik shook his head, “there is not a single hair on either of their bodies. Not even a half grown follicle.”

“How is that possible?” Andrew took another step backwards.

“The only thing I can come up with is body wide laser hair removal, but I'll need to examine the skin itself under a microscope to say that without any reservations.” Erik nodded.

“Who the fuck are these guys?” Andrew shook his head.

“Why would you have people like this after you, Andrew?” Walker frowned.

He ran through the ideas in his head. He spent some time undercover with the cartel but this seemed to be a bit unusual even by their standards. The only other case he'd spent a good amount of time on other than that had been The Butcher. “It's either the cartel or connected to The Butcher somehow, but I can't make either option make any sense.”

“Let me add another wrinkle into the riddle then.” Erik said with something that was almost darkly gleeful as he grabbed one of the bodies and rolled it over onto its side. All three of them took an instinctive step backwards, a light gasp escaping Walker's lips as they took in the sight.

Every inch of the mans entire back was tattooed with a dark black Raven. The only color other than black was the red of the birds eyes and the intricate script scrawled out across the birds wingspan.

 

_**Quoth the Raven, EVERMORE.** _

 

<O>

 

“BY the pricking of my thumb, something wicked this way comes.” Lola's voice carried throughout the warehouse.

He could see her from his vantage point, hidden by crumbling old walls, as she lifted her thumb to her face and twisted into it with her metal nails that were sharpened to a lethal point. She looked at the blood that began to pour out of it and raised it to her mouth, drawing her tongue across the open wound and savoring the taste of her own blood.

He shuddered as he watched her saunter towards the stairs, dragging the sharpened metal claws that had been surgically implanted into the beds of her nails across the wall like it was all a sick game to her. No, it wasn't like a sick game, it _was_ a sick game. She had been hunting him for years and the last time he'd seen her this close the doctor was killed and he was left alone in the world to fend for himself. He felt the bubbling rage growing inside of him, the rage of having the one person who ever protected him taken away, the one person who cared for him in her own odd way, even if that way did include the occasional abuse itself.

“I know you're here, Junior,” Lola sneered, “I can smell you.”

He closed his eyes and let his mind play out what would happen next. He could move to the next room but any further than that Lola would hear him and be on top of him in an instant. If he had any chance of making it out of this building alive he had to take this slow. One room at a time.

He blocked out the sound of her taunts, the name she called him that made him cringe, and moved slowly and quietly to the next room.

“I've waited a long time to get you alone, little bird.” Lola whispered, her voice echoing through the hollow building, “I've been dying to taste your blood again after our last time together. Fear tastes so good on you, Junior.”

He clenched his hands into a fist and tried to stop himself from shaking. He couldn't afford to be scared right now. Scared people make mistakes. Mistakes get people killed. Just like the doctor.

“She's not here to protect you anymore,” Lola said, “you may have your...gift...but even you cant outrun us forever. What happens when all you can see is me dragging you back home after I've had my fun with you again?”

He closed his eyes once more, blocking out her words again, and played out a scenario. Moving to the next room would get him caught. Staying where he was would get him caught. The only other option was a head on assault. It would be the least expected and offered the most leeway in terms of what he saw. He closed his eyes and tried to run through the possibilities and he came up blank.

What the fuck? He could still see everything else, every possible eventuality if he tried to run or stay hidden but the second he tried to see what would happen if he fought her there was nothing. It was just a black slate of nothingness. He wondered if that meant he would die but no, he'd seen himself die in glimpses before this and it never looked like that. He always saw everything.

Everything until he met Andrew that was.

Still, even if he couldn't tell what would happen if he fought Lola all other options seemed to lead to capture so if he was going to go down then it would be in a blaze of glory. He always was one for rash actions and martyrdom. 

Lola made it to the top of the stairs and turned her back to him, looking out of the expanse of the factory next to a wooden railing that looked like it was in terrible shape. It was the perfect opportunity to leap headfirst into the literal unknown.

He crept out of his hiding place as quietly as possible until he was almost right behind her. He broke out into a running charge, both arms in front of him, and pushed her over the ledge. Lola gave out a startled yelp but recovered quickly. Her reflexes were sharper than his due to her decades worth of combat training and she twisted in mid air, catching his eyes with a terrible smile. She reached out a long, metal clawed hand and wrapped it around his forearm, completely encircling his thin wrist with her hand. She clamped down on his wrist and dug her metal talons into his flesh and he let out a pained cry as she laughed and jerked him forward.

Soon they were both falling from the second level of the building to the hard stone floor below. Lola kept her death grip on his wrist, which, luckily for him, meant that when they landed she hit the ground first and he landed on top of her body with a thud. The impact of his small body on her stomach was enough to temporarily knock the wind out of her and she released her grip on his wrist, taking a chunk of his skin with her.

He pulled a his wounded wrist to his chest and winced at the damage. It hurt like hell but she manged to miss opening up any of the major pathways of veins around it. He wouldn't bleed out, at least not from that wound.

“Junior...” Lola huffed as she recovered and pulled herself to her feet, “finally got some balls.”

“Yeah,” He spat, “I borrowed them from your brother after I bashed his fucking head in.”

Lola tensed and her eyes went wide at the mention of her brother, the first person that he'd ever killed. He could still remember the sound that the stone made when he brought it down onto the assholes head. He could still feel the frantic smile that washed over his face as he realized what he had done and who he had killed. He was ready for a repeat of that feeling tonight.

“You son of a...” Lola bit her tongue, “I always did say that you had quite a mouth of you. Remember how I used to punish you for it?”

Lola was, without a doubt, stronger than him. But he was faster, even slightly malnourished and sleep deprived he was confident he could run a circle or two around her. Lola also had a temper and she tended to get sloppy when she was pissed off, he could use that to his advantage, “I remember the sounds Romero made when I beat him over the head with that rock.”

Lola narrowed her eyes and took a step forward. He knew her terrible face like the scars on his body, she was already boiling over.

“You've heard someone choke on their own blood before, I'm sure.” He smiled as her, sinister and bone chillingly, he held his own hands to his throat and pretended he was gagging, “I'm...gonna kill...you...Lola...will...cut...you....open.”

Lola let out a wild growl and continued to circle him. Her hands were shaking and she was getting antsy. Almost there.

“WHAM!” He screamed, “Just like that. Crunch. Squish. Yikes, it was not pretty when that orbital bone fractured and punctured his eye.” Neil braced himself, knowing that would throw her over the edge. If he couldn't actually see what she was going to do at least he could predict it well enough.

Lola lunched forward with a wild scream, swiping at him like a caged lion with both of her metallic clawed hands. He was able to dodge the first swipe but she spun around mid advancement and slashed him across the shoulder. He screamed out in pain as he lowered his body and dove forward towards her, slamming an elbow into her stomach. She let out a large gust of air and groaned, it was enough of an opening to throw a quick uppercut towards her jaw. Half of his fist connected with her face and she took a few steps backwards, rubbing her now sore jaw.

“You think you've got some tricks, Junior?” Lola breathed, “You haven't seen anything yet.”

He closed his eyes quickly, desperately searching out with his mind to see if he could get a read on her next move and still came back with nothing.

“Fuck.” He muttered to himself.

“What's the matter, little bird? Your wings clipped?” Lola laughed, “I knew that power of yours would start to give out eventually, they all do.”

His eyes widened as he looked at her, both of them moving in a circle around the large empty room, “What do you know?”

“So we are having problems?” Lola laughed, “Good to know. I'll make sure to tell the director.”

His stupid fucking temper and his inability to keep his goddamn mouth shut. A clean getaway was off of the table now, he couldn't just escape and let Lola run back to the director with the information he just gave her. Lola had to die now.

“You should have left well enough alone with the FBI agent, Junior. I knew that bleeding heart of yours would get in the way someday.” Lola laughed, “I am curious to know how you knew about our plans with him? He had nothing to do with you until you involved yourself. If only you had just kept running after you slipped us in the sewers you probably could have gotten away for a while. Oh well, hindsight is 20/20. Though I guess not for you, especially if that futuresight isn't working that well either.”

Lola dove forward again, swiping diagonally with a claw before bringing her other hand down in a horizontal arc. He was ready for that move, he'd seen her use it enough. He ducked out of the way of one swing and then rolled behind her during the other, springing to his feet and quickly kicking her in the back of her left leg. She fell to the ground and landed on her knees so he spun and delivered a roundhouse kick to the side of her head. She screamed as her body crumbled and she rolled into a pile of trash near the wall.

Lola stumbled as she got up, her movements were staggered and jerky and if he was lucky he'd just given her a concussion.

The lack of sleep and food was getting to him and he already felt himself growing winded. He was panting for air when he caught the quick movement of Lola's hand a second too late. She had picked up a brick from the pile of rubble she landed in and threw it towards him. He only had half a second to adjust his position but it wasn't enough, the brick hit a glancing blow to the side of his head and he cried out in pain from the impact. It was enough of an opening for Lola to spring forward and slash a bladed hand down the side of his face. One one of her claws made contact but he could already feel a stinging pain from his hairline all the way down to the middle of his cheek, mercifully it seemed like she missed his eye completely. He closed his left eye as blood started to pour out of the wound and obscure his vision as Lola struck again. She swept his feet out from under him and sent him to the ground in one blow, the back of his head colliding with the stone floor. She pounced on top of him and leaned down to whisper in his ear, “I'm going to enjoy this, Junior.”

She smiled at him once more before running her tongue across the length of the slash on his face, grinning as she tasted his blood, “You taste better than I remember, Junior.”

“That...isn't...my...name.” He struggled against her grasp.

“You don't have a name!” Lola screamed as she drove four of her clawed fingers into his shoulder.

He screamed as she twisted them around, catching at precious skin and the muscle underneath. She pulled her bloody claws out and flicked another slash across the one she had already given him on his cheek, forming an X.

“I do,” He huffed and looked out of his good eye towards a broken iron rod that lay just within reach, “I do have a name.”

Lola laughed and jammed two claws into his upper thigh, “You don't deserve a name.”

He spit in her face as a distraction, using her slight moment of surprise to reach out with all his strength to grab the broken rod. Once he felt it in his hand he drove it into the side of Lola's neck with all his might. Her eyes went wide as the rod slid through her throat and he made sure she saw his smile before he pushed her dying body off of him.

Lola frantically grabbed at her throat to try and remove the bar, cutting herself with her claws in the process as he stood over her body. He was already starting to feel faint from blood loss and the pain of his various injuries was beginning to fully set in but he needed to see Lola die.

“My name...” He panted, “is Neil.”

Lola let out a few coughs filled with blood before he saw the light drain from behind her eyes.

“A name really is a dangerous thing.” Neil laughed as he took a few staggered steps towards the door of the warehouse, not sparing Lola's dead body one more extra glance than she deserved.

 

<O>

 

THE parking garage of Andrew's building was almost entirely deserted by the time he got back to it after leaving the lab. He hadn't realized how late it was until he got back to his car and saw the time. The day just kept getting weirder and he was honestly ready to just sit on his balcony and smoke a few cigarettes before crawling into bed.

Andrew pulled his car into his designated space and walked towards the back elevator of the parking structure. He paused after a few steps...something didn't feel right. He looked down at the ground and saw a small blood trail leading from the street side entrance of the structure and towards the same elevator he was about to enter.

He pulled his gun out of its holster and walked to the elevator with it half raised, pushing the call button and waiting the agonizing minutes it took for it to return to the floor he was on. He knew the wait time intimately, it took the elevator two and a half minutes to get to him which meant that it's previous position was on the top floor. His floor. The car finally made it to him and it opened with a ding. He held his gun at the ready and hoped to god he wasn't about to scare the shit out of an old woman or something.

When the doors opened he found the car empty save for a small pool of blood in the corner and a few bloody hand prints. He stepped inside and examined the keypad and found the only trace of blood on it was on the button for the 70th floor. His breath hitched and he reached into his pocket for the law enforcement emergency override key and placed it into the keypad before hitting the button to take him straight to his own floor. The climb to the top of the building was agonizing and he paced the small area of the elevator trying to think of what he would find when the doors opened.

The ding drew his attention back to the real world as the elevator slowed to a stop.

“70th floor.” The soft, robotic voice announced at the door opened.

The drops of blood continued around the corner and he followed the speckling with his gun raised. He stopped in his tracks when he finally rounded the corner and saw a small body covered in a blood stained hoodie slumped against his door.

The person heard his approach and looked up at him with a delirious smile and Andrew was immediately locked into place by those big blue eyes.

“Oh,” Neil looked up at him, half of his face covered in blood, “you're home.”

 

 

 


	6. Sanctuary

 

 

 

 

VI

Sanctuary

 

BLINDING florescent bulbs lined the ceiling of the stainless white room. The atmosphere almost felt otherworldly with the way it was lit from above, the harsh light casting its beams on the sterile room. A faint and repetitive beeping sound from the corner caught Neil's eye. He looked to the side and followed the long cord that was seemingly attached to his chest all the way from his bed, down and across the floor, and up to the machine that was keeping track of his hearts rhythm.

Neil watched the green line rise and fall, a reminder that he somehow wasn't dead after facing off with Lola. But if he wasn't dead then where the fuck was he? Muffled voices from outside of his room drifted through the walls, he strained his head to bridge a few precious inches between his hearing and the voices in an attempt to make out their words.

“Is the subject stable?” The deeper voice asked.

“Yes,” The female voice affirmed, “subject jN10r is showing no signs of rejection from the therapy. We predict that the trial phase should be able to begin as soon as Friday.”

“Good, the deep voice said with a hint of satisfaction behind it, “we've already lost too much time and money with jN9r...I don't want this to be a repeat of that failure.”

“With all do respect, Director, there is no way of telling if 10 will manifest in the same way as 9.” The woman's voice trembled.

“Well,” the voice, the Director, said slowly, “for your sake it better.”

Neil blinked a few times, something about this setting seemed too familiar. He'd heard those words before, those two voices going back and forth. Why was he in a hospital room? He went to Andrew's apartment after the attack, not the hospital. Something was wrong. He didn't belong here.

Suddenly the room went dark. It wasn't that the lights were turned off, no, the paint of the room itself changed. Gone were the sterile white walls and in their place was black nothingness. The blindingly white florescent bulbs were replaced with red colored ones that shone out a menacing amber color, casting against the black walls and mimicking thick red blood as they washed over the room.

Neil blinked again and suddenly he felt a presence over him. Two eyes were shining out in the darkness, they started as blue, similar to his own, before the shadow blinked and the deep blue was replaced with a bright red, “It's so nice to finally have you back with us, you've caused quite the headache over these last ten years.”

Neil felt himself stop breathing. He couldn't form words to respond to the shadow and could only watch as it pulled out a long silver blade, twisting it around in the air as the red lights glinted against the smooth metal.

“We have a lot of time to make up for, little bird.” The shadow smiled, revealing a set of blindingly white teeth, before lowering the blade to Neil's skin and beginning to carve another intricate pattern into what little unmarked area of skin he had left.

The air rushed back to Neil's lungs all at once and he let out an ear shattering scream as the blade split him open and the familiar feeling of searing pain caused his eyes to roll into the back of his head.

There was no hope. It was always going to come back to this. No matter where he went or how long he ran he knew that he would eventually find himself back in this room, alone and bleeding.

 

<O>

 

THIS was the first time Andrew had come home to someone bleeding on his doorstep and it was proving to be quite the test. After the initial shock of seeing Neil sitting in front of his door, smiling, pale, and covered in blood, wore off he had spring into action. He shrugged off his coat and rushed over to the boy who was propped up against the frame and began to run his hands over his body, looking for any wounds. Besides the obvious slash on Neil's face he found a large slash on one shoulder, four deep puncture wounds on one side of his chest, and two more on an upper thigh.

“What the fuck happened to you?” Andrew gasped, lowering his shoulder and snaking an arm around Neil to lift him up.

Neil hissed as the pain from his body shifting and let out a small cough that spattered blood across Andrew's white shirt, “Got into a fight with a...with a cat. She didn't like the name I gave her.”

“Some cat,” Andrew shook his head, “must have been a fucking terrible name.”

“Sir Fat Cat McCatterson.” Neil laughed, the sound coming out as if he was gargling water.

“That's actually horrendous,” Andrew smiled softly while using his free arm to swipe the clutter from his kitchen table onto the floor, “I'd tear you to pieces for that too.”

Neil was silent as Andrew hefted him off the ground, hooking his right arm under the back of Neil's legs and cradling him into his chest. “Oh,” Neil said with a drowsy smile, “your biceps are really big.”

Andrew bit back a laugh as he felt a weak finger poke at the muscle of his arm, “Why did you come here?” He asked as he laid Neil down on the table, “You need to be in a hospital.”

He looked back down at Neil and saw that his eyes had gone wide, “No,” Neil breathed, grabbing Andrew by the wrist and squeezing it as hard as he possibly could, “I cant go to a hospital.”

“OK.” Andrew nodded warily as he looked down at the small pool of blood forming on his dining room table, “But just so you know that means you're probably going to die in my kitchen.”

Neil coughed up another spatter of blood, “If you take me to a hospital they'll find me...and I'd rather be dead than go back to them. Promise me you wont...”

Andrew took a step back and ran a hand through his hair, forgetting it was covered in blood, and winced when he pulled it back. He paced back and forth for a second as he considered Neil's words and took a deep breath, “Fine, no hospital. I promise you. But if you don't die on me then you owe me some answers.”

“Deal.” Neil blinked at him a few times.

Andrew only nodded and retreated to the bathroom to grab his first aid kit and a pair of scissors. He opened up the first aid box and looked down at the pathetic assortment of things available to him to use and sighed, snatching the box back up and returning back to Neil.

Neil was blinking in and out of consciousness as Andrew returned back to the table. He held up the scissors and Neil recoiled in fear.

“Hey!” Andrew hissed, “Stay still!”

“Wh...what are you doing?” Neil's voice trembled.

“I need to cut off your shirt, unless you feel like lifting your arms over your head which I'm going to assume you don't.” Andrew said, grabbing the bottom of Neil's shirt and beginning to cut.

“No!” Neil screamed, “I don't want you to see!”

Andrew sucked in a deep breath and closed his eyes to steady himself, Neil was clearing losing it due to blood loss, “You came to me for help, I can't help you if I can't see whats wrong.”

Neil reached up and grabbed Andrew's wrist again, his hands trembling just as much as his voice, “Sorry.”

Andrew gave him a tense smile and continued cutting off Neil's shirt. When he pulled the fabric back and took in the sight of Neil's body he froze. It seemed as if every inch of his body was covered in some kind of scar. Neil looked up at him with sad, pleading eyes and Andrew did his best to give him a reassuring smile as he realized that this was what Neil was worried about him seeing. He didn't have time to wonder about the rest of Neil's body though, the four punctures in his upper chest were oozing out blood at too fast a rate to focus on anything else.

“Whatever it is that happened to your chest is the worst of the damage, you're losing a lot of blood.” Andrew frowned.

“Too much bleeding to stitch,” Neil huffed, “you're gonna have to...cauterize.”

Andrew felt his stomach lurch as the old memory of burning flesh swirled around his head, “I...”

“It's not that complicated,” Neil said in a shaky voice, “get some vodka, pour it over the wounds, let me drink some, heat up a knife on your stove, and press it over the punctures. Might want to give me something to bite down on too...last time I had this done I screamed a little too loud.”

“Last time?” Andrew gasped.

“Long story,” Neil smiled, “get the stuff, I'll probably pass out so it'll make the rest of me easier to work on.”

“I hate you.” Andrew mumbled as he went back to his kitchen. He pulled a bottle of vodka out from the freezer and turned the electric stove on to heat up one of the burners. His stomach was in shreds and he felt ready to puke at any moment. Why the fuck was he doing this? Why hadn't he just called 911 the second he saw Neil? What was it about that kid that made him lose every bit of good judgment he had?

“If the metal turns red then you've heated it too much.” Neil coughed from the other side of the kitchen.

Andrew turned from the stove as it continued to heat and walked back to Neil with the vodka in hand, unscrewing the cap and lowering the bottle to let the idiot drink from it.

“Don't drink it all!” Andrew warned as he went back to the kitchen to retrieve the heated knife and then returned to Neil who had drank half the bottle and left the other half for antiseptic.

“Your belt.” Neil sighed.

Andrew raised an eyebrow as he looked down at Neil who was now staring at his pants. He felt himself shiver before he realized that Neil only mentioned it as something he could use to bite down on. Andrew shook his head and pulled it out of the loops of his pants before folding it in half and handing it to Neil.

“On my count...pour the vodka over my chest...then wait a few seconds before you cauterize.” Neil huffed and Andrew nodded. “On three.”

“One.”

Andrew took in a deep breath and tried to steady his shaking hands.

“Two”

Andrew tried to block out the screams of his childhood and the sound of sizzling skin.

“Three”

Andrew nodded to Neil who placed the belt in his mouth and bit down as the alcohol made contact with his chest. Neil let out a muffled shriek as his chest bowed forward and his legs began to writhe under him.

“Nod when you want me to start...” Andrew whispered, “this is fucking insane.”

“Now.” Neil rasped, his voice muffled by the belt in his mouth, “Don't tell me when, just fucking do it.”

Andrew nodded and waited another second before pressing the flattened edge of the blade down on the first hole in Neil's chest. He tried his fucking hardest to block out the smell, the acrid and burning scent of flesh sizzling, and took another deep breath.

Neil's face was red and veins were popping out of his forehead as he bit down on the belt and fought against the strangled screams that came from inside his mouth. He looked back up at Andrew and nodded a signal for the next one.

Andrew complied and pressed the super heated blade against the second wound and felt Neil's body go rigid under it and counted to himself in an effort to block out Neil's muffled and pained sounds.

“Halfway there,” Andrew said, running his hand through Neil's hair in some attempt to comfort him, “more vodka?”

Neil only nodded and spit the belt out of his mouth, whimpering as Andrew raised the vodka to his lips and held it as he chugged it, “I don't think I'm gonna be able to keep myself conscious after this next one...do you know how to do stitches?”

“Yeah,” Andrew nodded, “I have some practice.”

“Shoulder and thigh...should be fine with stitches. Head's already stopped bleeding, not deep enough for stitches...probably butterfly bandages.” Neil rattled off a list of care instructions for after he passed out before looking back in Andrew's eyes, “Make sure I wake up, yeah?”

Andrew gave Neil a weak smile, “I promise. Now, lets get this over with.”

Neil nodded and placed the belt back in his mouth and bit down to cut off his screams as Andrew pressed a newly heated knife back to the third wound.

The muffled sound didn't last for long as Andrew felt Neil's body go slack under his hands as he passed out from the pain.

 

<O>

 

HE awoke with a panic. Every instinct in his body told him to lash out and fight back because he was in an unfamiliar place. His instincts were quickly stopped by the blinding pain coming from all over his body. He stared at the ceiling above him, blinking repeatedly as he watched the fan spin in circles. He took several deep breaths and began counting to ten in German to center himself. As he relaxed the last few hours came back to him. He remembered the fight with Lola, he remembered that he killed her, he remembered that he somehow made it from the warehouse to Andrew's apartment and that Andrew had tended to his wounds. He remembered that he was Neil now.

Neil let out a small groan and sat up in the bed, resisting every urge to sink deeper into the plush surface, he looked around the room and spotted a mirror hanging off the back of the closed door. With as much care as he possibly could he slowly swung his waist around until he was sitting on the side of the bed, he took a few seconds to center himself before placing his feet on the ground and standing up slowly. Every injured part of his body screamed in pain as he moved and Neil had to bite the inside of his cheek in an effort to not scream in pain. It had been a long time since he'd been this fucked up. Mercifully, there was an unopened bottle of vodka on the bedside table which he promptly opened and took several gulps of. It didn't do much to mask the pain but the satisfying burn in his throat was a nice distraction. He took a few steps towards the other side of the room before he stumbled. He quickly realized that the blood loss was worse than he'd anticipated and took another minute to prop himself against a set of drawers before making into the mirror.

Looking back at him was a pale, scarred, and bloody shell of himself. Neil's eyes darted around his body. The long slash on his face had been closed by what appeared to be surgical glue and butterfly bandages, he leaned in and lightly trailed his finger across the long strip which ran from his hairline down the the middle of his cheek on the left side of his face.

“Not too deep,” Neil sighed to himself, “but probably gonna scar.”

The smaller slash, the one Lola cut across the longer one to form an X was mostly superficial and he figured it was a toss up for scarring, but if it did it would most likely be very faint.

“What's another one to add to the collection?” Neil frowned.

The slash on his shoulder was stitched together rather competently which surprised Neil. It wasn't as good as something he could have done but it was in far better shape than he'd expected Andrew to be able to do.

His chest was another story. The cauterized wounds were covered by a long strip of gauze that was taped to his scarred skin with surgical tape. He tugged at the side of the dressing and pulled it back, wincing at the damage. The cauterization had stopped the bleeding, which ultimately probably saved his life, but it left behind four mid-sized triangular burn marks. The skin around the burns was still raw and red. It could have been worse but he'd always foolishly prided himself on the fact that among all the scars that littered his body that there at least weren't any burn marks, which he could no longer say.

The puncture wounds on his upper thigh had been stitched together with relative efficiency as well. All in all, he was alive. He had a dizzying new number of scars to add to his collection but at least he wasn't dead or back underground with the Director.

Neil let out a long sigh, he was close enough to the glass that it fogged under his breath and he frowned as it obscured his vision. He raised a finger to wipe of the condensation and gave his ravaged body one last look. His eyes trailed the jagged roads of knife marks that ran parallel over his abs, a present from an attacker who was oddly keen on trying to gut him. His eyes darted to the intricate designs that had been etched into his skin by the people who worked for the Director for no reason other than entertainment. The letters that they cut into his skin to see if he would be able to tell their thoughts ahead of time. That was always the worst, seeing what they were going to do to him before they even took him from his room.

Neil let out a small groan as the painful memories flooded his mind and turned his back to the mirror. He looked over his shoulder and let his eyes take in the intricate and ornate furled wings that had been carved into his back. He often forgot they were there since he never saw them as regularly as the ones on the front of his body but every so often they would produce a phantom pain to remind him of their presence. He would never forget that torturous night, the night the Director himself deemed it necessary to involve himself in one of the tests.

“I'll give you wings, little bird,” the man had said, “so you'll always have a reminder that no matter how much you want to fly from this place you never will.”

The only thing that had stopped him from carving the fucking things from his back once he had gotten free was the single night that the doctor comforted him, the night that she held him in his lap and ran her hand up and down his exposed back, singing to him softly in a language he still had no idea of.

“Angel wings,” she had said that night in between his tears, “that is what these are. A reminder that you did escape. And a reminder to never stop running.”

They had never spoken of that night again. The one time that Neil did try to bring it up, almost a year after it had happened, the doctor back handed him and grabbed him by the shoulders to shake him, “Holding on to memories is useless, they do you no good. Attachments will be the death of you, stupid boy.”

Neil's breath caught in his throat and he felt a stinging in his eyes. He looked back into the mirror and realized that he was crying. Before he could react the door to the room pushed open and a startled Andrew stood facing Neil's back.

Andrew let out a sharp gasp as the sight of the carved wings and Neil felt his entire body recoil.

“Don't look at me!” Neil spat as he reached for a small glass trinket on the side of the dresser and threw it at Andrew's head.

“What the fuck?” Andrew gasped as Neil crossed to the other end of the room and huddled himself in the corner.

He could feel his entire body shaking. Andrew had seen his weakness. Andrew had seen all his scars, had seen him bloody and broken and now knew exactly what he could get away with if he wanted to hurt him.

“Attachments will be the death of you, attachments will be the death of you, attachments will be the death of you.” Neil repeated over and over, smacking himself on the forehead in an effort to beat the words into his brain just as the doctor and so many others had done to him over the years.

“Hey!” Andrew warned, “We're going to need to work on the whole hitting yourself thing.”

Neil stopped and looked back up at Andrew who was standing over him, his hazel eyes boring holes deep into Neil's own soul, “Please don't look at me.”

Neil could have swore he saw a slight frown register on Andrew's face before he turned his back to his cowering form on the floor.

“I was just bringing you some clothes,” Andrew said, “I didn't think you'd be awake yet. I'll leave them on the foot of the bed.”

“OK.” Neil said softly.

Andrew lingered for a second before walking back to the door, he paused at the exist before turning his head halfway to the side, “Come out whenever you feel comfortable, I'm sure you're starving. I'll order food and we can have that conversation you promised me.”

Neil was silent as the door closed and he stayed on the floor for another minute, waiting to see if Andrew would come back into the room. When he was reasonably sure that he was going to be left alone he picked himself up off the ground and walked to the clothes that were left for him. It was only a simple shirt and a pair of sweatpants. Neil pulled them on and realized that they must have been Andrews own clothes. The sweats hung low on his hips and the legs tapered out before they reached his ankles because of the slight height difference between them. Neil himself was around 5'4” and figured that by the clothes Andrew stood at an even 5'.

The shirt hung loose on his thin frame, Andrew had for more more muscle mass than he did and the shirt seemed to swallow him whole. But regardless of the slight issues with fit he couldn't help but think that these clothes were the most comfortable ones that he'd worn in a long time.

After dressing himself Neil gave his appearance another once over in the mirror. The shirt did nothing to side the two long scars that ran up the inside of both of his arms but there was nothing he could do about it now. Andrew had seen all of him and now he had a choice to make before he walked out of the bedroom. Did he trust Andrew further and tell him his story or did he make a break for it at the first chance he got?

They had both saved each others lives now and he could call it even in his mind. He could leave Andrew to his own devices and run away from this apartment, this city, and never look back, all without feeling too terribly guilty. He could leave the blonde man behind as a dangerous memory and run as far as he could.

So why didn't he want to?

 


	7. That Vision Thing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! so i wasn't planning on posting this less than a day after the last chapter but i have terrible impulse control and i just want all of you to read everything! also, there's a line in there somewhere that i didn't even realize would line up with the date when i finished up this chapter a few days ago so i guess it's fate. 
> 
> anyway, this was supposed to be two chapters but it ended up being so fucking long that i split it in half so today you get an entire almost 5k words from Andrew's POV because im wordy as hell and once the ball gets rolling i have to stop myself!

 

VII

That Vision Thing

 

ANDREW sighed as he looked down at the sink. It was filled to the brim with water and a heavy mix of hydrogen peroxide, his clothes from last night sat waterlogged at the bottom as the water held a murky red color. He wasn't entirely sure why he was trying to salvage the probably ruined clothing instead of just throwing it away but if someone pressed him on the issue he wagered it would probably end up being because the clothes were proof that last night was real, that it wasn't some fucked up fever dream. He pulled the shirt from the sink and wrung it out over the other side and frowned when the blood spatters remained.

A loud thud from across the apartment drew his attention and he instinctively reached for the knife sitting next to him on the counter, holding it sideways in his hand and ready to lash out at the source of the sound before he relaxed and remembered that he had a guest. It had been so long since someone had been in there with him, in his private and safe environment, that his scarred brain registered any unusual sound as danger. The last person who had been inside besides the broken and bleeding runaway who was currently occupying the guest room had been his partner, and even then he didn't make it a habit to let the man inside all the time, regardless of how close of friends they became. The apartment was his space, his safe and shining tower, high above the ground and away from the pain of the past. A place for him to relax, to know that every door had multiple locks on it and that there was only _one_ key in existence.

Andrew sat the knife down and left his ruined shirt in a ball on the counter. The smell of bleach still permeated the room and his hands were still dry and cracked from all the scrubbing he had to endure. He was less worried about immediately cleaning his apartment than he had been about the hallway and the elevator. Once he was reasonably sure that Neil wouldn't die if he was left alone he had spent close to an hour scrubbing the door outside of his apartment and mopping up the hallway. The elevator proved to be a much easier clean up job since it's metallic surfaces lent themselves to being sprayed down and wiped clean rather easily. After he was satisfied with the hallway and the elevator he and a bucket of soapy bleach water took a trip down to the parking garage on that began on the 20th floor. He poured the bucket across the trail of Neil's blood in the dark structure and swiped at it a few times with his old mop, it wasn't a perfect clean up job but the darkness of the parking garage helped the scene look like less of something out of a horror movie and more like a weird accident. He had never been so thankful that most of his neighbors in the building were affluent older people who rarely came out after sundown. He had carried his badge with him all night during his cleaning just in case someone came across him on his hands and knees scrubbing dried blood off of the walls. It would have been an interesting conversation to have with Wymack, that was for sure.

As it stood he'd gotten about a grand total of two hours of sleep that night. It was just after 8am and he still had to eat, have a gigantic conversation with Neil, get dressed, and be at work by 10am. Suffice to say it was going to be a very bad day for anyone who got in his way, including but not limited to his cousin, his boss, anyone on his team, his therapist, and the potential mole they had within the team.

Neil finally came out of the guest room after about half an hour, he was dressed in Andrew's own clothes that he'd given him and they more or less fit him. The sweats hung a bit low on his hips and against his better judgment Andrew couldn't stop himself from stealing a glimpse or two at Neil's hip bones. As hard as he tried he couldn't get any of the images of Neil's scarred body out of his head and the wings that he'd seen carved into the boys back earlier had just added another level of confusion to the mystery that was Neil Whateverthefuckhislastnameis. He had his own fair share of scars that came from other people and he had to wonder who had done all that damage to Neil. He wagered that little, if any of it, was self inflicted which meant that there was someone, or rather someone's from what little he'd been able to gather from Neil's panicked ramblings last night, who took delight in caving up a poor kid like that. He wanted nothing more than to sit Neil down and find out who the fuck had done that to him, to find out who had hurt him like that, and go and kick their ass. It had been a long time since Andrew had felt the need to protect someone so viciously but the feeling settled back into him easily, like a well worn old jacket that hugged every inch of your body and kept you warm when you shrugged it back on. None of what he was feeling when it came to Neil made any sense.

“Hi.” Neil finally murmured after taking a few minutes to case out the apartment now that he was fully lucid.

“Sleep well?” Andrew asked.

Neil stopped in front of him and shifted his eyes, nervously shuffling his feet, “Not funny.”

“Really?” Andrew shrugged, “People tell me I'm a riot, a regular ball of laughs.”

Andrew cringed internally, his usual defense mechanisms always returned to either biting sarcasm or intense apathy and for some reason the apathy wouldn't properly apply itself to Neil.

“Do those people hate you?” Neil raised his eyebrows and crossed his arm over his chest.

“Most of them.” Andrew nodded.

Neil stood there for a few moments before uncrossing his arms and stretching them out to the side. It was the first time that Andrew was able to fully see the two longs scars that ran along the side of either of his arms, starting at the wrist and continuing upwards along the length of his arms before disappearing under the sleeves. He felt a weight settle in on his chest at the fact that he didn't pick out a long sleeve shirt for Neil to wear. “I can go grab one of my old sweaters for you if you'd be more comfortable in one of them?”

Neil looked back at him, his blue eyes going wide, studying Andrew's face before letting his eyes fall to the scars that ran along his arms, “You've already seen them, it's pointless.”

Andrew ran a hand through his hair and turned his back to Neil, making his way back to the kitchen, “Just because I've seen them doesn't mean that you have to keep letting me see them. If you want something with long sleeves just tell me, don't be an idiot and make yourself uncomfortable just to make it easier on me.”

Neil made a snorting sound that Andrew wasn't able to decipher the meaning behind, the air between them hung in silence for a few more seconds before Neil finally spoke, “...long sleeves would be nice.”

Andrew turned back to him and found Neil looking off to the side, his arms crossed, and one hand nervously running up and down a bit of the scars. He didn't say anything then, just walked back down the hallway to his room, opening the door and rifling through the closet before pulling out a garishly orange sweatshirt with PSU printed across the front of it and 'Doe' stamped above the number 3 on the back.

Neil didn't comment on the outlandish color or anything else about the sweater, he just took it from Andrew hand and hurriedly pulled it on over himself, running his hands up the length of both arms before hugging himself tightly and relaxing under the fabric, “Thank you.”

Andrew ignored the words and picked his phone up off of the counter, “You hungry?”

Neil nodded, his eyes darting around the kitchen.

“I'm gonna order something from the diner down the road, they know me so they'll deliver it, want anything in particular?” Andrew asked.

“Um...” Neil trailed off, “fruit is OK, I guess.”

“Fruit?” Andrew drawled, “Seriously? When was the last time you ate something bigger than an apple and a granola bar?”

Neil's body tensed as he stood a few feet away, his hands twisting together and fisting themselves into the front of the sweater, “I don't know.” Neil whispered.

“Then I'll just order a bunch of shit and you can eat whatever you want.” Andrew nodded.

“No!” Neil gasped, “I...don't have any money...I left everything back at the warehouse.”

“Well then,” Andrew shrugged and Neil closed his eyes, disappointment stretching across his red face, “it's a good thing I'm not asking you to pay for anything.”

“You're...what?” Neil breathed, “But...why? What do you want?”

“You'll take free medical care from me but you draw the line at food? Why would I want anything from you?” Andrew sighed.

“Food is different, it's easy.” Neil frowned, “People always want something in return for something simple like that.”

“I'm not people.” Andrew said in a short and succinct manner, hoping that his delivery put a period on this whole discussion.

Neil only nodded and kept his mouth shut, finally realizing that he had no more say in the matter of food, and sat down on one of the chairs that were in front of the floor to ceiling windows. Andrew watched as the blue eyes looked down and across the city, going wide with fascination.

“It's a nice view,” Andrew added after hanging up with the diner, “whenever I ask myself why I pay so much to live here I look out the window and it reminds me.”

“I've never been up this high before.” Neil said softly, “It's kinda scary.”

“Terrifying, actually.” Andrew said as he fell into the chair across from Neil and tucked his legs under himself, “I'm scared of heights.”

“What?” Neil laughed and Andrew couldn't help but feel himself relax a little more now that Neil's permanent frown had left his face, if only for a second, “That doesn't make any sense.”

“It makes complete sense,” Andrew countered, “I have nightmares sometimes, bad ones. When I wake up and I feel like the ground is falling out from under me I'll come out here and lean against the window or go out to the balcony and hang my head over the side. It helps my mind separate the imagined fear from actual fear and centers me again.”

“Oh,” Neil only nodded, “that does make sense.”

“Told you,” Andrew gave Neil a slight smile and decided that the slight flush he thought he saw cross Neil's face was not him actually blushing, “so...I believe you owe me some answers.”

“I was hoping you'd forget.” Neil mumbled.

Andrew laughed and held a warning finger up in Neil's direction, “I never forget a promise.”

“Fine,” Neil sighed, “what do you want to know?”

Andrew leaned back into his chair and let his eyes sweep across the views of the city below him. What the fuck didn't he want to know? He wanted Neil's entire life story.

“How old are you?” He finally settled on a general question, one that was easy but also would let Andrew know just how fucked up he was for his weird attraction to the flighty runaway.

Neil blinked a few times, like he was trying to remember, “25. I think.”

“You think?” Andrew raised a single eyebrow.

“I don't know for sure, I've never known my birthday. Someone told me that I was 20 once and that was either five or six years ago, I don't really remember. Everything starts to blur together after a certain point...but I guess it means I'm either 25 or 26.” Neil shrugged.

Everything about that answer opened up an entirely new line of questioning. Where the fuck were your parents? Who the fuck finally told you your birthday after 20 years? _What the fuck happened to you?_

“Jesus,” Andrew said under his breath, not wanting to push that topic more than he needed to, “OK then, who attacked you last night?”

“A woman who works...or worked...for the people I ran from. She always had a certain attachment to blades and we fought after she tracked me down at the warehouse.”

“Is there a body that I need to have someone look for?” Andrew asked, breaking about a dozen federal laws in the process.

“No.” Neil shook his head, “The people she had with her would have realized she was dead after I slipped them. They would have called it in and someone would have been sent out to clean it up. A body like hers would lead to too many questions and they couldn't have that.”

“Who is 'they'?” Andrew wondered, “Who did you run from?”

“I don't know who they are, not really.” Neil shook his head, “The doctor never told me much about the facility after we escaped. I just know that there were a lot of other kids there other than me and that the Director had people constantly running tests on us.”

“Tests?” Andrew leaned forward a bit, his eyes settling in on Neil's profile as the other boy looked out the window.

“Tests to see what I could actually do and how well I could actually do it. The doctor once said that I was only the second kid they ever encountered who could do what I can so the Director took a special interest in me.” Neil cringed as an unspoken memory.

“I don't understand...” Andrew trailed off.

“I wouldn't expect you to,” Neil shook his head, “I learned a long time ago to stop trying to understand things. There's a lot more going on in this world than most people realize. Most people are content with just going about their daily lives and ignoring anything else but I've seen things that most people wouldn't even believe.”

“I'm pretty open minded,” Andrew said, “try me.”

“Really?” Neil narrowed his eyes before his expression softened and he looked away, “You wouldn't believe me even if I did you'd kick me out the second I told you.”

“You promised you would tell me everything.” Andrew pointed out and flicked his hand in the air to motion for Neil to continue.

“Will you promise me one thing?” Neil frowned and looked back at him with sadness in his eyes.

“Ask.”

“When I tell you and you freak out, because you will freak out, will you at least let me stay to eat? And can I keep the clothes?”

Neil shifted in his chair and his back was almost completely to Andrew, He was sure he could make out small tremors in Neil's hands as he wanted for an answer, “I won't kick you out. You can stay here as long as you need to recover. You can eat whatever you want and the clothes are yours to keep.”

Neil's head snapped back to Andrew and his jaw hung open, “Really?” Neil breathed.

“I promise.” Andrew nodded.

“But...why?” Neil asked.

Andrew shook his head and tapped on the table next to him, “No more questions until you answer.”

Neil frowned and rested his face in his hands, hissing with a wince when he touched the cut along his face with too much pressure, “I can see things.”

Andrew managed to keep his stone faced composure as Neil anxiously checked for his reaction, “Congratulations? You have eyes?”

“Not like that, asshole.” Neil huffed, “I can see things before they happen.”

“Oh.” Andrew said with a slight pitch to his voice, “I was expecting something like...gang member or something else but that is...a new one. Beware the ides of March, and such.”

Andrew bit his lip and hoped he was doing his best to keep his reactions under control. Every part of him was screaming that yes, he was right in the beginning, the kid was a certified crazy person. Not that he had any room to talk given what was in his medicine cabinet that he took daily to keep his delicate hold on his own sanity, but at least he didn't think he was psychic. It wasn't Neil fault though, someone had clearly tortured and abused him and it wasn't out of the realm of possibility that whoever had hurt him truly believed that and that in turn it made Neil himself believe it.

“You think I'm crazy.”

“I already thought you were crazy.”

“This is why I didn't want to tell you.” Neil sighed, “I'm telling the truth though.”

Maybe Andrew was losing his mind because Neil's staunch resolution had him in the mood to humor him.

“Fine,” Andrew said, “humor me.”

Neil stood up and began to pace the living room of the apartment, “How do you think I knew you were going to be attacked?”

Andrew frowned, that was going to be one of his questions, “There's a lot of stuff going on at work that could factor into that.”

“I saw it,” Neil shook his head, “that night when I touched your hand and you tried to cuff me. I saw you being attacked by that guy and him killing you. How do you think I knew that one of the people as going to pull a gun and fire into the crowd? How do you think I knew exactly where to turn in that maze of an alley? How did you think I knew that one of them was going to shoot you with a hidden shotgun? I can keep going.”

Andrew didn't look back at Neil. Looking at Neil meant that he would have to confront those words and that he would have to give into the possibility that maybe they were true.

“I don't know how to explain it, Andrew.” Neil sighed, “I just know that since I met you the other night that things are starting to change with the way I see things.”

That caught his attention.

“What do you mean?” Andrew asked cautiously, half out of curiosity and half to just humor Neil in case he was having a breakdown.

“Before you...” Neil sighed, “I could only see stuff that had to do with me. I could close my eyes and sort of just...see endless possibilities. I could see what would happen if I turned left instead of right. I could see what would happen if I slept for an hour or if I slept for two. It was less of seeing the future and more of seeing every probable outcome of a decision and it was always about me, never about other people.”

“And what changed after me?” Andrew asked.

“When I'm around you I can't see things as well as I used to, I used to be able to close my eyes and see out as far as my body could handle it. But when I'm around you now I can only see out for less than a minute. I stretched it out to almost an entire day once, it almost killed me but I did it just to see if I could, but when I'm near you I can barely see what would happen if I went to the 68th floor of this building versus the 69th.” Neil ran a hand through his unruly hair and stalked back over to the window.

It was Andrew's turn to stand and pace the living room. He replayed every interaction he'd had with him since they'd met and began to fit the odd pieces of thing's he'd seen into the story that Neil told and even he had to admit that it wove a pretty compelling story.

“So,” Andrew said, “if I believe you then why are you here? It would make sense that whatever this thing you can do is what has kept you alive for all these years. If I believed what you were saying, which I'm not entirely sure what I do think, I would ask why you're in the one place where you claim whatever you can do doesn't work.”

“Because...”Neil frowned, “I didn't like seeing you die. I can't explain it but when I saw you die in my head I just couldn't let it happen. I don't know if it's because it was you or if it was because it was the first time I've ever seen someone else but...I couldn't let it happen.”

“The first time you've seen someone else?” Andrew asked.

“I always see everything through my own eyes as if it's happening to me in the moment.” Neil said, “But when I touched your hand that night I saw what would happen to you. And then when I touched your hand on the street the next day I saw what would happen to you again. It was like I was watching a movie, a silent observer just watching everything play out.”

Andrew went back to pacing. The way Neil was talking with such conviction was starting to get to him. This wasn't real. It couldn't be real. There was no way this was an actual conversation they were having.

Neil had apparently had too much silence, “Listen, I'll just go. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come here. Just forget any of this every happened.”

Neil got up from the chair and made a line for the door. Andrew stood in front of him and held out a hand to stop him, which caused Neil to shrink back in fear.

“What are you doing?” Neil asked with a shaky voice.

Andrew held his hands up and took a few steps back, “I told you that you can stay. I'm not going to force you to stay here but if you want to stay I'm not going to kick you out.”

Neil was quiet again for a moment before mumbling, “Sorry, I don't like when people touch me.”

Andrew nodded and committed that fact to memory before he waked back across the room and fell into the seat he was in a few minutes before.

Neil stood in the middle of the living room, talking to himself under his breath, and finally let out a sigh as he walked back towards Andrew and fell into the chair opposite of him, “You think I'm crazy and you're still going to let me stay?”

Andrew considered his words for a minute before leaning forward and resting an elbow on the table next to him, “Do something to prove it to me and I'll stop thinking you're crazy.”

“It's not that easy...” Neil trailed off before he sucked in a breath and closed his eyes, “Give me your hand.”

“What?” Andrew laughed.

Neil opened his eyes again and held his hand out to Andrew, palm flat in his face, and sighed, “Put your hand in mine and lets see what happens. It's OK, you can touch me for this.”

Andrew studied Neil's face for a moment, looking at the big blue eyes that screamed honesty, and relented. He placed his hand flush against Neil's until their palms were resting against each other. Neil intertwined their fingers together and slowly closed them so they each shared the same fist. Andrew felt the hair on the back of his neck rise at the touch. It was something more than he'd ever felt before, something new and different, it was almost electric. Neil looked at him for a moment with an air of sadness behind his eyes and then closed them.

The room was silent for several moments and Andrew was just about to speak when he felt Neil's grip tighten on his hand. Neil's entire body tensed and he opened his eyes with a sharp gasp.

Neil blinked at him a few times before a small smile crossed over his lips, “In about 20 seconds your doorbell is going to ring, it'll be the delivery guy and he's wearing a blue shirt with a small hole in the left shoulder. You'll open your wallet to pay and find out that you have no cash and the guy cant take your credit card. He'll apologize and tell you it's fine because you're a regular and you can just stop down at the diner to pay sometime later. Something about someone named Magda. You'll take the bags from him. When you close the door one of the bags will rip open at the bottom and box of pancakes will fall onto the floor.”

Andrew realized he hadn't taken a breath through any of Neil's words and before he could open his mouth to speak the doorbell rang. Neil let go of his hand and swept his arm towards the door with a smile on his face.

Andrew walked to the door in what felt like slow motion. He opened the door and found the delivery man looking back at him and wearing a blue shirt. His eyes immediately went for the left shoulder and found a small hole in it. It was enough to make him want to vomit from pure shock.

“$36.75.” The deliver man said, snapping Andrew from his daze.

Andrew only nodded and grabbed his wallet from the counter behind him, giving Neil another glance and catching the sly smile on his face. Andrew opened his wallet and found that he, in fact, did not have any cash on him.

“Shit,” Andrew sighed, “I didn't realize I don't have any cash. Can you take my credit card?”

The words left Andrew's mouth as if he was in some kind of dream.

“Sorry,” the delivery man said, “I didn't bring the portable machine with me. You're a regular though, right? I've seen you in the diner a bunch before. Tell you what, you just stop by sometime later and pay for it, I'll let Magda know.”

Andrew could only manage a smile and nod as the door closed in front of him. He looked back at Neil who was now perched on the edge of the counter with smug satisfaction on his face. Andrew took another step forward and heard a small thud. He looked down and saw that the bottom of one of the bags had fallen out and that a stack of warm pancakes now rested on top of his foot.

“Holy shit.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you guys aren't hating a softer and more expressive andrew. i've changed a lot about his backstory up, as you can probably tell by the few hints that i've dropped and the notes and such, and you'll get getting some answers on most of it fairly soon


	8. Rm w/a Vu

 

 

 

 

VIII

Rm w/a Vu

 

TRY as he might, Neil was unable to wipe the satisfied grin from his face as he sat perched on the edge of Andrew's counter, looking down at the man with pancakes at his feet. He ran through every possible retort in his head, stopping just short of an indignant 'I told you so' and eventually settled on a vindicated silence. He was all too aware that Andrew thought he was absolutely insane until this very moment.

“Holy shit.” Andrew said, his voice a mixture of shock and fascination.

“Holy shit.” Neil nodded in affirmation.

“You...” Andrew trailed off.

“Me.” Neil smiled, absentmindedly playing with the hem of Andrew's over sized sweater that hung off of his body.

Andrew blinked at him and stood motionless for a few more seconds before looking down at the pile of pancakes and frowning, “I was looking forward to those.”

“I'm sorry.” Neil laughed.

“You couldn't have saved the pancakes?” Andrew frowned.

“Nope.” Neil smiled, “I had to make a point. The pancakes served well. They will forever be remembered.”

Andrew glared at him before setting the other bags on the counter and let out a huff, “I hate you.”

Neil bit back another smile as he watched Andrew toss the ruined pancakes into the garbage before taking out the rest of the various breakfast items and lining them across the counter.

“I'd prefer not to eat at the table.” Neil shuddered as he looked at the spread of food.

Andrew gave him a considered look before reaching into the cabinet next to his head and pulling out two plates, “Understandable.”

Neil eyed the food once more, unsure of how much he was allowed to take. He tried to remain as impassive as he possibly could as his eyes swept across the line of food. The french toast, the scrambled eggs, the sausage, the bacon, everything screamed out at him begging to be eaten. It had been longer than he cared to admit since he had been around this much food all at once. The loud rumbling from his stomach gave away his yearning and Andrew looked back at him with a small upturn of his lips.

“Take whatever you want.” Andrew nodded, pulling his own plate back to his chest and stepping to the other side of the kitchen.

“Really?” Neil asked, trying and failing miserable to keep his excitement tempered.

“I don't say things that I don't mean.” Andrew said with a flat look to his face, as if he expected Neil to know that just by virtue of being around him for a short period of time.

“What about you?” Neil asked as his eyes tracked Andrew's empty plate.

“Take what you want, kid.” Andrew sighed, “I can always stop and get something on my way to work. I have to go in and pay for this anyway.”

Neil frowned at the word 'kid'. He didn't like how it sounded coming from Andrew's lips. It reminded him too much of Lola and the Director. He, for some reason still unknown to him, had settled on a name. A name that just so happened to be given to him indirectly by the tiny blonde man in front of him. It was a name he liked and he'd realized that Andrew hadn't used it a single time that they'd been together so far.

“Can you,” Neil chewed on his lip to buy himself a minute to gather his words, “Can you not call me that?”

“What?” Andrew asked, “Kid?”

“Yes.” Neil nodded, “I don't like it. It makes me feel...I don't know.”

“Say no more.” Andrew gave him a two fingered salute, “What am I supposed to call you if you don't have a name?”

“Oh.” Neil blinked, “Um, I kinda like Neil, actually.”

Andrew raised an eyebrow and gave Neil a look that he didn't quite know how to decipher, it seemed as if Andrew was both annoyed and amused.

“Well than, Neil, eat up.” Andrew said as he swept his arm across the spread of food.

Neil only considered him for another second before loading his plate to the brim with a bit of every single offering that sat in front of him. He looked down at the mountain of food and was instantly overwhelmed, it had been so long since he'd eaten this well that he wasn't entirely sure he could actually eat all of it. He was damn sure going to try though.

They sat in a mostly comfortable silence as they ate. Neil was giving Andrew all the time he needed to process the revelation about his...whatever it was he could do and Neil was almost entirely too focused on eating every last bite of food in front of him to entertain the idea of a conversation. A few minutes later Neil pushed his plate away, completely empty, and let his head fall to the table.

“Eat enough?” Andrew asked with a small edge of sarcasm in his voice.

“I guess.” Neil shrugged as he looked back up at the man sitting across from him and smiled.

Andrew met his smile with a small one of his own and they stayed like that for a few moments, silently looking at each other with growing smiles on both of their faces. It was a weird feeling that Neil couldn't quite describe. He'd never actually sat down like this and had a meal with another person. When he was on the run it was always eat as quickly as you can, there was never any time to just stop and sit down with the doctor to share a meal. It was a completely alien feeling to him and he was beginning to think it was a feeling he quite liked.

Andrew was the first to break their staring contest and he pushed himself away from the counter with a huff, running his hand through his hair and letting a tense line form between his shoulders. Neil rested his head in his hands as he watched Andrew move across the kitchen with a different energy than he had before and he couldn't help but wonder if he'd done something to upset him. But before he could get a chance to ask Andrew returned to the counter in front of him with the tension gone in his shoulders.

“Want anything else?” Andrew asked.

Neil shook his head and got up to put his plate in the sink but Andrew stopped him, taking the plate from his hand and doing it himself. Neil gave him a puzzled look but decided not to push the issue of the moment and sank back into his stool, absentmindedly playing with Andrew's sweater again.

Andrew flicked his eyes between Neil and the clock and let out a puff of air, “I need to go get ready for work. If I'm not out of here in the next ten minutes traffic will kick my ass.”

“Oh,” Neil frowned, “where are my shoes? They weren't too messed up were they?”

“They're in your room.” Andrew said with a puzzled look on his face.

 _Your room?_ Neil felt his breath catch but shook his head, it had to be a slip of words on Andrew's part.

“OK, I'll go put them on.” Neil said in a low voice.

“Why?” Andrew asked, “You can't come to work with me.”

“I know.” Neil nodded, “When will you be back? I'll find something to keep me occupied during the day while you're gone.”

“You're so stupid,” Andrew sighed, “why would you need to find something to do while I'm gone?”

“Well, I can't stay here.” Neil shrugged.

“And why not?” Andrew leaned forward.

“Because...it's your house.” Neil said blankly, surprised he even had to spell this out for Andrew. Why would he want a stranger lounging around his home all day while he was gone.

“And I told you that you could stay here for as long as you want.” Andrew looked at him like he was a talking animal and shook his head.

“I didn't think that applied to when you weren't around.” Neil sighed.

“So you just thought I would kick you out onto the street while I was gone? That I was just going to make you wander around the city while you're half cut open and stitched up while I was at work?” The tension had returned to Andrew's shoulders and Neil steadied himself against his better judgment.

Everything about Andrew radiated annoyance and hostility and Neil's eyes were keenly aware of the movements of his hands. He was just waiting for the moment that Andrew decided he'd had enough of him and his stupidity and decided to hit him. He knew it was coming, he could feel it in his broken down bones, it was only a matter of time. Neil felt his hands begin to tremble as his teeth clicked against each other and he couldn't find the words to speak.

Andrew walked around the counter and towards him and in less than a second Neil had sent the stool tumbling to the ground and had retreated to the corner of them room, curing into a ball to make himself as small of a target as possible. He closes his eyes and desperately tried to see what was going to happen next, to try and prepare himself for an attack and to see what Andrew would do and how he would try to hurt him. But he saw nothing. Not a single damn thing. And for the first time not knowing was more terrifying than being able to see everything.

The room seemed to still itself for an eternity before Neil finally looked up from his legs and found Andrew sitting a few feet in front of him on the ground with an unreadable look on his face.

“You think I'm going to hit you.” Andrew said, there was no hint of anger or sadness in his voice. It was just that, a flat voice stating a matter of fact.

“I...” Neil tried to speak but the words wouldn't leave his mouth. He couldn't explain how he felt. It wasn't that he didn't trust Andrew, it was just that every person in his life up until this point had always reacted to him in the same way. Whenever he said something they didn't like, they hit him. Whenever he asked a dumb question, they hit him.

“Don't ever think that.” Andrew said, his voice growing slightly louder and almost trembling, “I know how that feels, Neil. Trust me. I'm not that kind of person.”

“You?” was all Neil could manage.

“A story for another time,” Andrew nodded, “Tonight. You told me something so I'll tell you something. Deal?”

“Tonight.” Neil nodded.

Andrew stood and flexed out his muscles, “Now get off the floor and go back to bed, you need to get some rest.”

Neil nodded and pushed himself up from the ground. He followed Andrew wordlessly down the hall, breaking off to turn into the guest room and curl back into bed. He laid in the plush bed and ran back through the last few minutes in his head and cringed when he picked out every place that he overreacted. Abuse had been so conditioned into him that it was something he always expected now.

A soft knock at the door drew his attention and Andrew waited until Neil responded to push his head into the door.

“I'm leaving.” Andrew said, standing there in a freshly pressed suit and tie that seemed to fit him perfectly, “Help yourself to anything in the fridge. Don't delete anything from the DVR. Try not to tear your stitches and bleed all over the house.”

Neil nodded and kept his eyes on Andrew as he stood there.

Andrew seemed to be running over something in his head as he stood above the bed. With a sigh he finally pulled a set of keys out of his pocket and pried one off of the ring. He held it out at Neil, carefully keeping a distance between them, and wiggled it in front of his face.

“Take it.” Andrew nodded.

Neil looked at the golden key for a moment before sitting up in bed and stretching his hand out to grab it. He took it gently from Andrew's hand and felt a shiver cross over him as their fingers brushed together.

“It's a key to all the locks on the front door.” Andrew simply said.

“Oh.” Neil nodded.

“Keep it safe.” Andrew said, “It's the only one I have.”

“OK.” Neil smiled softly.

Andrew gave him one last look before turning his back and walking towards the bedroom door.

“Andrew,” Neil called out before he could stop himself and Andrew turned back to him with a puzzled look on his face, “I'll see you tonight.”

Andrew didn't reply with anymore words, he just nodded in the silence and gently shut the door behind him. Neil looked at the key in his hand, twisting it in the sunlight that filtered through one of the windows. It was an entirely pathetic thing but it made him happy.

It was the first key he'd ever held.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i cut this chapter in half too but thats just because im very attached to this cute ending and i felt like it would be a better ending to an entire chapter than just a scene


	9. Damage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shorter chapter than usual since this was technically the second half of chapter 8 but since it felt like it had two definite endings between both of those halves i just split it and made two chapters out of it! next chapter should be back to my usual 4k-7k word chapters (depending on how wordy im feeling)

 

 

 

 

IX

Damage

 

 

THE only thing Andrew knew for sure anymore was that if Neil decided to freak on him and leave in the middle of the day then he would be royally fucked. The moment played over and over again in his mind as he drove to work in stop and go traffic. The look on Neil's face when Andrew handed him the key, it was as if Neil had never seen one before and like he was being handed something insanely improbably like a baby dragon. Though, he did have a psychic runaway sleeping in his guest room so who the fuck was there to say there were no such thing as dragons now? His entire concept of reality had been shattered in the last hour and a half and he figured anything else would be less than surprising.

He shook the thought of magic and dragons out of his head and looked down at his hand on the wheel. He swore he could still feel the touch of Neil's fingers as they grazed across his own. The touch felt electric. It wasn't the first time either, in fact, every time Andrew could remember touching Neil like that he was always left with a dizzying feeling of all the atoms in his body breaking apart and putting themselves back together again.

He had to be having that mental breakdown he always felt was just over the horizon, it was the only thing that made sense anymore. Too bad he couldn't mention it to Dobson since he was pretty sure it would end up with him institutionalized. The thought left him with an almost bigger question mark than the boy back at his home. What the fuck was he going to talk to Dobson about? It had been a few weeks since their mandatory sessions ended and he hadn't been to see her once since then. As much as he loathed to admit it, talking to the woman for those few weeks after his partners death had helped, if only a little bit. But now his world was filled with countless new questions and none of them felt safe to speak on. Most roads led back to Neil and the ones that didn't led back to a mole and regardless of how much Wymack trusted Dobson to not be that mole Andrew wouldn't afford her the same sympathy. Everyone was guilty until proven innocent, the only exception being Walker.

He knew Walker well enough by now to trust her implicitly, she could never be a mole. He didn't extend that trust to Wymack and Klose though. Wymack, he figured, would be a perfect mole. The boss who brought attention to the infiltration in the first place would be the least likely suspect because why would the mole alert others of his own presence? To make his most keen eyed agents look elsewhere, of course.

Klose, on the other hand, had always rubbed him the wrong way. Maybe it was because he was German or maybe it was because he took too much joy in cutting open dead people. Whatever the reason he knew that there was something off about the man. He hoped, bitterly, that Klose wasn't the mole, if only for the sake of his annoying fucking cousin because he knew he would never hear the end of Nicky crying about how much his life was a terrible TV show because his boyfriend turned out to be evil.

“Psychics, and moles, and toothless, hairless, fingerprintless assassins, oh my!” Andrew mumbled to himself as he finally pulled into the parking garage of the LA Field Office.

Andrew wound his way through the familiar corridors of the office building, scanning his way into elevators and various long hallways, before ending up in his usual cluster. The only other person in their shared area was Walker, which was mildly concerning. They each shared an uneasy glance before the door behind them beeped open and revealed Reynolds.

“Back so soon?” Reynolds smiled.

“Guess I'm hard to kill.” Andrew shrugged and hoped the double meaning behind his words rang out to her if she was, in fact, the mole.

“More like too stubborn,” Reynolds rolled her eyes, “or short. They probably tried to shoot you but it went right over your freakishly small body.”

“Leave him alone, Allison.” Walker sighed, “It's been a hectic past few days for us all.”

“Where are Boyd and Wilds?” Andrew asked, changing the subject.

“One of their trafficking cases from a few years ago got flagged as part of a different case this morning, they're on their way out to San Diego right now to look into it and assist on an investigation out there.” Reynolds nodded.

“Great,” Andrew sighed, “so I'm stuck with you two for the day.”

“Wymack said something about them being on loan for the case for a while, probably a week or so, so you're stuck with us even longer.” Reynolds grinned, “You know, if you actually put some work into finding a new partner you wouldn't have to deal with us all on your own.”

Andrew stilled and took a deep breath, “I don't want another partner.”

“And I don't want Trump to be president but we don't always get what we want, do we?” Reynolds rolled her eyes and dropped down into her desk that sat opposite of Walker's.

Andrew blocked her out for the next few hours as he read over case reports involving mysterious bald attackers. It seemed that this wasn't the first time that someone like the group that attacked him and Neil had been reported and that there were reports that went back as far as ten years of groups of three or four highly trained, bald men in long coats attacking various federal agents during investigations. Nothing about them had every been recovered from the scenes. No bodies, blood, fibers, or anything. The working theory is that they were some kind of rogue mercenary group because none of the cases where they appeared seemed to have any connections. One of the cases was a simple drug bust while another was a take down of a white collar crime network. There were absolutely zero links between any of their appearances so everyone just assumed that they were part of a group that was hired out by big level criminals. He filed away the question for Neil later on. Maybe he knew more about these guys than he was letting on, maybe they were somehow connected to the people that he escaped from. There was something here, something big, he just couldn't see all the pieces of the puzzle to be able to put them together.

“Doe! Get your ass in here!” Wymack's door swung open and reveled an angry head sticking out of it.

“Uh oh, Drew's in trouble.” Reynolds sing songed.

Andrew stopped in his approach to the door and turned to her, “Don't call me that.”

“So touchy.” Reynolds mumbled as Andrew stepped into the office and closed the door behind him.

Wymack reclined in his chair with his arms crossed over his broad chest, his eyes boring holes into Andrew, “You didn't think that yesterday was going to exempt you from your session with Dobson, did you?”

Andrew let out a low growl and glared back at Wymack, “I did figure that people trying to kill me on the way to her office would grant me a bit of leeway.”

“Your leeway was getting to go home and sleep,” Wymack shook his head, “get your shit and head to her office now. Your meeting isn't on the books and the only one who knows you're meeting with her is me”

Great, so if someone tried to kill him now he'd know exactly who was behind this.

“I'm not coming back after.” Andrew glared.

“Whatever,” Wymack sighed, “we've hit a brick wall on fucking everything lately so go get your head on straight and be back here Monday morning.”

Andrew stormed from Wymack's office, grabbing his coat from the chair and almost sending it tumbling, before leveling Reynolds a dark stare and left the office. Most of it was overselling the dramatics so the rest of the team would think he was being dismissed for the day but he had to admit that it did feel a little good to be a drama queen sometimes.

 

<O>

 

BETSY Dobson's office was as comfortable as a psychologists office could be, Andrew supposed. He'd been in enough of them over his life to get a feel for them and he had to admit that the only one that didn't make his skin feel like it was being cut open was Dobson's. The hot chocolate she gave him every time he came didn't hurt things either. He liked to play up his dislike of her with Wymack and the rest of the team but there was something about the woman that he trusted. There were days that he didn't feel like talking, days that he hated her and would have rather been anywhere else on the planet. But there were also days where he felt like letting someone in, where maybe, just maybe, saying out loud what he was actually feeling inside would help. He wasn't entirely sure what kind of day this one was.

“So,” Betsy smiled, “it's been quite a hectic last couple of days.”

Andrew rolled his eyes and raised the steaming cup of hot chocolate to his lips, “If by hectic you mean the return of the serial killer who killed my partner and then a group of people trying to kill me...then yes.”

“Yes, that is exactly what I mean. There's a lot there to unpack.” Betsy nodded and turned her head back to her notebook.

“Not really,” Andrew shrugged, “everything is in my reports which you have access to.”

“I don't mean the technical side of things, Andrew.” Betsy said softly, “In just over 24 hours you had the emotions of the death of someone close to you resurface and then had to fight for your own life in an attack by multiple people. Most people wouldn't have been able to get out of bed the next day.”

“I'm not most people,” Andrew shook his head, “there's nothing to dwell on. My partner is dead. People tried to kill me and now they're dead too. There are eight dead people killed by the same person who killed my partner. Death is a common theme for me, I'm used to it.”

“It's interesting that after all these months you still can't bring yourself to say his name.” Betsy said softly.

Andrew felt a hole in his stomach open up. He could feel the darkness seeping out of it and worming it's way back into his heart. He tried for so fucking long to lock it all down and now just the mere thought of facing it all head on again was threatening everything he'd worked so hard to rebuild.

“Name or not,” Andrew said, “he's still dead.”

“Andrew,” Betsy frowned, “I released you back into duty because I felt it would be best to let you focus on work along with your healing but I'm starting to wonder if I made a mistake. You still haven't fully accepted his death, you don't mention any friends or acquaintances outside of work and I know your relationship with your cousin is not in a very good state either. You're beginning to isolate yourself again and I don't want to see you fall down the same path that you were on immediately after his death.”

Andrew clenched his fist as memories of late nights spent with copious amounts of alcohol and files upon files of details about the Butcher flashed in his mind. He could still hear his own strangled cries as he looked up at the convoluted evidence board he set up in his guest room. He could hear the sound of crashing glass as he threw bottle after bottle at the wall in frustration. He could see the bags around his eyes from the lack of sleep because every time he did sleep he saw all the fucking blood.

“I don't need to socialize with people outside of work, there's no need.” Andrew finally said.

“And why do you think that?” Betsy asked softly.

“Because we're in two different worlds,” Andrew shook his head, “am I just supposed to make friends with some fucking accountant? How was your day crunching numbers, Josh? Oh, my day? It was OK, I only saw three dead bodies today instead of four!”

“That is a dangerous line of thinking, Andrew.” Betsy shook her head, “You can still make lasting connections regardless of things of like that. Have you had any romantic encounters?”

Andrew let out a low groan, “No, Dobson, I have not had sex with anyone lately. I have not let a single person inside my apartment in six months.” Andrew shook the image of Neil out of his head, this was a completely different situation and he wagered Betsy wouldn't understand any of that, “I only have one key. I have no friends outside of work and _at_ work I wouldn't call anyone a friend. Walker, at best, would be an acquaintance.”

“Why are you isolating yourself?” Betsy pressed forward.

Andrew clenched his fist before standing from the chair and slamming his hand against the wall, “Because I'm fucking tired of not being able to protect people! I couldn't protect myself when I was a kid! I couldn't protect...”

“Say his name, Andrew. You need to come face to face with him. You need to know that it wasn't your fault, that you couldn't have saved him no matter what you did.”

Andrew paced the length of the room, taking in deep breaths before turning to Betsy and speaking, “I promised Day I would protect him, he was scared and he wanted off the case. He said he felt like we were getting too close to something, he felt like there was something bigger at work than just the Butcher. I promised him that night when he was in my apartment, shaking and fucking terrified. I promised him nothing would happen and that I would protect him. A week later we got the call and went in after the guy and got separated and then he was dead. I promised Kevin that I would keep him safe and instead I led him to his death.”

“Andrew,” Betsy said softly, “you cannot keep putting the blame on yourself for his death. Kevin was his own person, he could have asked for a reassignment if he was really worried. You are not the reason he is dead.”

“Maybe,” Andrew shrugged, “maybe not. I just know that I'm tired of not being able to protect anyone.”

Betsy didn't respond and neither did Andrew. They sat in silence for the last five minutes of his appointment. When the timer rang out Andrew stood from the chair without another word and left her office behind him. His entire body was vibrating. It was the first time he had actually said what he felt about Kevin's death out loud and he wasn't entirely sure of what to do next other than go home and make sure a certain runaway hadn't left him too.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heh 
> 
> in case anyone was wondering where Kevin has been for the last 9 chapters 
> 
> oops


	10. Origins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wasnt planning on posting yet another chapter in a short period of time but i like this one too much to hold onto it for any longer

 

 

 

 

X

Origins

 

NEIL mostly kept to his self imposed boundaries in Andrew's apartment insomuch as he only let himself frequent the kitchen, the living room, his guest room, and the small half bathroom in the hallway. He was entirely too hesitant and in too much pain to explore beyond those points. A few months ago if you had presented him with the idea of being alone in what was pretty much a strangers apartment without searching through things to make sure everything was, in fact, completely safe he would have laughed at you. It flew in the face of everything he believed in, in the idea that you can never be comfortable because you don't know where the next attack will come from. But there was something different with Andrew. He trusted the other man, which was hilarious because for some reason Andrew negatively impacted the only ability that had kept him alive since he'd been alone.

Shortly after Andrew had left his apartment that morning Neil began to run an informal test on his abilities. He found a small timer in the kitchen along with a piece of paper and a pen and set out to time how far out he could see.

Test number one was conducted about ten minutes after Andrew left. He sat cross legged on the couch and stilled himself for a moment, holding the timer in his hand, and took a deep breath. As his eyes closed he pressed the button on the timer to set it to work and looked forward as far as he could. Which, as it turned out, was not far at all. He sat there for what seemed like an eternity and the only thing he saw was the back of his eyelids. He opened them and looked back down at the timer and found that he had been sitting in silence for almost five minutes with his mind desperately reaching out into the expanse only to be met with nothing but darkness. He scrawled the five minute time and a sad frown in the first column and tossed the equipment aside.

Test number two came about almost three hours later. He figured that would have given his mind whatever time it needed to work off it's somehow Andrew induced haze. He etched out another column on the paper and this time laid flat on the floor, wondering if a change of scenery would help him any. Neil closed his eyes and pushed the button of his time and opened his mind up as much as he could. He could feel himself straining, pushing himself to the brinks of whatever his body was capable of. Everything felt the same, he felt the same fatigue and dizziness he normally felt when he pushed himself this hard but he was awarded with none of the returns. No matter what he did he just found himself faced with a vast chasm of darkness. He opened his eyes and sat up with a puff of air and looked down at the timer to find that almost half an hour had passed. Neil blinked at the timer, entirely dumbfounded, because he could have sworn he had only been laying on the floor for a few minutes at the most. He began to feel the faint pulsing in the back of his head, a tell tale sign that he had pushed himself too far, and let out a small groan before feeling a slight tickle from his nose. He reached up with the side of his hand to rub it and winced when he looked down and saw droplets of blood had gathered on his hand. He immediately sprung from the floor and bolted down the hallway to the bathroom, flipping on the light and looking at himself in the mirror. He looked terrible, he knew that already, but there was a steady stream of blood coming out of his nose now and that could only be attributed to one thing.

“Fuck.” Neil muttered, grabbing a handful of tissues from the counter and balling them up under his nose. Nosebleeds were never a good thing when it came to this type of thing.

Neil walked back to the living room, his head upturned towards the ceiling while he held the tissues under his nose to catch the blood, and dropped back down in the couch. When he was fairly sure the bloody nose had subsided he removed the tissues and got up to toss them in the trash in the kitchen along with the paper he'd been recording the timing of his tests on since it was useless as well.

Eventually Neil gave up on trying to accomplish anything else. He tucked his feet under him and flipped on the TV in an attempt to relax. It had been close to a year since he had actually sat down and watched something on TV and that thought alone was causing his mind to go into a tailspin. He absentmindedly flicked through the channels and finally settled on a show that amounted to angry rich white women screaming at each other before he drifted to sleep on the couch.

After what felt like an eternity of sleep Neil was woken by several soft taps on the front door of the apartment. He glanced at the clock to find that he had only been asleep for ten minutes and got up from the couch and walked cautiously over to the door. He pushed himself up on his toes to peer out of the small peephole and saw only the top of a blonde tuft of hair. Assuming it to be Andrew he opened the door.

“You're still here.” Andrew said, shock evident across his face.

“I told you I would be.” Neil let a slight smile cross his face and stepped to the side to allow Andrew to walk past him and into the apartment.

Neil eyes tracked Andrew as he moved across the room and he could already tell that the other man was coming off of a bad day. He crossed to the opposite side of the room from him in an attempt to give Andrew more space.

Andrew settled into the kitchen, opening the refrigerator and pulling out a beer, before looking back over the counter towards Neil, “You didn't eat anything today.”

It was a statement, not a question, and Neil raised an eyebrow, “I didn't even realize. How did you know?”

“I know what food is in my kitchen, Neil.” Andrew laughed, “I told you to help yourself to whatever you wanted.”

“I'm fine,” Neil nodded, “I'm not even hungry.”

“Somehow I don't believe that.” Andrew sighed.

“Really, it's fine. I've gone a lot longer than nine hours without eating.” Neil smiled while running a nervous hand through his unruly hair.

“Just because you have before,” Andrew began, “don't mean you keep having to. I told you to make yourself at home, that includes eating whenever you're hungry.”

“I'll try to remember that.” Neil said sheepishly before he curled himself up in the large chair in the corner of the living room.

“Except my ice cream. Don't touch my ice cream.” Andrew added, waving a joke of a warning finger at him.

“Noted.” Neil laughed.

Andrew let out a soft groan as he stretched backwards, raising his arms above his head and rolling his shoulders, “I need a shower, it's been a day. When I get out we'll order something from somewhere that will actually take my credit card so start thinking about what you want.”

“Me?” Neil gasped.

“Yep,” Andrew nodded, “there's some delivery menus in the drawer next to the sink, I think. Go through them and pick out whatever looks best to you and I'll figure out what to order when I get out.”

Andrew turned on his heel and walked down the hallway, pausing before he disappeared in his room to give Neil one last look and to flick his hand towards the direction of the drawer in the kitchen. The move prompted Neil forward and towards the drawer. He pulled it open and fished out a stack of take out menus and spread them across the counter, perching himself on a stool as he methodically looked each one over in an attempt to decide which one looked best to him.

Neil let out a low groan of distress at all the options, the names of places and food all jumping out at him and overloading his mind. He never really cared about food, as long as it didn't taste like total shit and filled him up enough until the next time he could eat then it was good enough for him. But being faced with a daunting pile of options made him want to run. It was stupid really, it was just food, but the idea of being able to sit somewhere warm and safe and have his biggest stress be what take out place to order from flew in the face of everything he had been conditioned to believe over his entire life.

The door the Andrew's bedroom swung open shortly after and Neil watched Andrew as he walked down the hallway, taking in his freshly showered form. Andrew was dressed in a tight white shirt that clung to his slightly damp skin and a pair of grey sweat pants. His hair was still mussed from running a towel through it and he smoothed it over with his hands as he took a seat next to Neil at the counter.

“You look like you're about to cry.” Andrew said.

“There's just...so many options.” Neil sighed.

Andrew let out a short breath and followed it up with a small chuckle before sliding the pile of menus in front of him, “Pizza?”

Neil shook his head, “I was thinking about the Chinese food but there are so many different places and I didn't know if you had one that you liked more than the other and then what if you don't want Chinese food and you're only suffering through it because of me and then that would make me feel bad and then I would feel like you were mad at me and you've already done so much for me and plus you saved my life and -”

Andrew snapped a finger in front of Neil's face, cutting him off from his rant, “Chinese sounds good, I'll call the closest one.”

“Just pick something for me,” Neil sighed as he laid his head on the counter, “I can't make anymore decisions tonight.”

Andrew looked at him for another second, blinking a few times before letting out another laugh, “You're hopeless.”

Neil's frown deepened as Andrew pulled out his phone and began to rattle off an order to the restaurant. He watched Andrew's hands move as he talked and noticed the way the hard lines in his shoulders seem to have melted away since his shower. Whatever was bothering him when he got home, Neil thought, seemed to have washed away with the shower.

Neil got up from the stool at the counter and returned to his previous spot in the large chair, curling into a ball and laying mostly on his side as he watched Andrew move around the kitchen. Andrew opened up the refrigerator and pulled out another beer, setting it on the counter as he grabbed a bottle of water to go along with it, and walked back over to the living room. He hung up with the restaurant and threw his phone on the couch and sat the water in front of Neil.

“About half an hour.” Andrew flicked his head to the phone to indicate that he meant the delivery.

“I think I'll survive.” Neil said quietly, producing another eye roll from Andrew.

Neil continued to play with the hem of Andrew's orange sweatshirt as they sat in an awkward silence for a few minutes before Andrew spoke.

“Can I ask you something?” Andrew asked.

Neil looked up at him and adjusted his position in the chair so he was sitting up and level with Andrew, “Sure.”

Andrew leaned forward on the couch, grabbing his beer off of the coffee table and taking a sip, “Do you know anything about those guys that attacked me?”

“The one's from the alley?” Neil asked.

“No,” Andrew rolled his eyes, “the other ones.”

Neil blinked at him.

“Yes,” Andrew sighed, “the one's from the alley. Our forensics guy went over the two bodies and they're fucking creepy. They don't have any fingerprints, hair, or teeth. And they both had giant back tattoos of ravens. I did some digging and there are records of people like them involved in a dozen or so attacks on federal agents over the last decade or so. I figured you might know something that I don't.”

Neil sucked in a deep breath and hoped he didn't anger Andrew with what he was about to say, “They're a group that goes by the name The Unkindness.”

“Unkindness?” Andrew raised an eyebrow, “How over the top.”

“It's because of the back tattoo. The ravens.” Neil added.

“An unkindness of ravens,” Andrew scoffed, “original.”

“I don't know much about them other than that they're involved with the Director and his group somehow.” Neil said.

“The Director?” Andrew wondered, “The people that had you?”

“Yeah,” Neil nodded, “when I saw them attacking you I thought it was my fault, that I led them to you somehow, it's why I had to save you.”

“You _thought_?” Andrew asked, “Did that change?”

“Lola said something when she attacked me...” Neil trailed off, “she said that whatever reason they were after you that day had nothing to do with me, that it was just a big coincidence that I was involved and that was how she found me that day.”

“Wait...” Andrew leaned back into the couch, “you're telling me that there were some creepy assassins after me for some other reason?”

“Lola could have been lying, trying to get under my skin to throw me off and make me worry about you.” Neil added.

“Or she was telling the truth and we're both involved in something that we have no idea about.” Andrew sighed.

“Maybe it was fate,” Neil said softly, “maybe I saw you because I was supposed to or something.”

“You believe in stuff like that?” Andrew asked, his face looking genuinely interested and not mocking like Neil had assumed at first.

“I don't know,” Neil shrugged, “I just know that I've never seen anything about someone else before until I met you and what I did see was you getting attacked by people I've been associated with in the past. If them attacking you really wasn't connected to me then I can't think of another reason for me to have seen what I did.”

“Fate, huh?” Andrew laughed.

“I don't want to talk about this stuff anymore, not tonight.” Neil said. The emotions that were beginning to bubble under his skin were starting to become too uncomfortable.

“I think we can give you a break from your life story.” Andrew agreed.

Neil folded himself back into his previous position and looked at nothing in particular until a knock came from the door. Andrew stood to answer it and pay for their food.

Neil couldn't find it in himself to move from the chair. Something heavy had hit him during his conversation with Andrew. He'd told the other man so much about himself at this point, there were things he was leaving out and things that he didn't want to share, but as it stood at the moment, Andrew Doe was the single person on the planet who knew the most about his life. He'd seen his scars and heard his story. The idea was absolutely terrifying. He could only vaguely register Andrew's voice calling him from the kitchen.

“Neil!” Andrew yelled slightly louder.

Neil sat up and looked at him with hazy vision, the edges of the world blurring until it was just one narrow tunnel that held Andrew's face in the center.

“Neil,” Andrew said, dropping in front of him, “are you OK?”

Neil could only blink as Andrew waved a hand in front of his face. It wasn't until Andrew put a hand on his shoulder and began to gently shake him that Neil reacted. The second Andrew's hand made contact with him Neil's alertness snapped back into to focus and he drew his hand back before delivering an open palm strike to the center of Andrew's chest and Neil watched in horror as Andrew tumbled backwards, head over feet, into the coffee table.

“Fuck.” Andrew gasped as he lay splayed out on his back rubbing the center of his chest.

“Oh my god,” Neil's voice croaked out, “oh my god, Andrew. I'm...fuck...I'm so sorry.”

Neil sprung to his feet and began pacing the length of the room while Andrew remained on the floor. He wanted to go over and offer him a hand up but the other part of him, the part that was scared of being hurt by someone he thought he could trust, kept him a safe distance away. Andrew stayed on the floor, dazed and blinking at the ceiling, continually running a hand over the middle of his chest.

“Andrew...” Neil trailed off as he spared another nervous glance at the man on the floor.

Andrew finally seemed to have gotten himself together as he sat up and balanced himself out with his arms on the ground to either side of him, “I'm OK, Neil.”

“I hit you.” Neil said in a small, wounded voice.

“You did,” Andrew agreed, “but I shouldn't have touched you without your permission.”

“No!” Neil snapped, “There's no excuse! You were just trying to snap me back into reality and I freaked out and hit you!”

“All the same,” Andrew shrugged, getting off the floor and sitting back on the couch, “I told you I wouldn't touch you without your permission and I did so let's just call it even?”

“You...you're not mad at me?” Neil gaped.

“No.” Andrew shook his head, “Come sit down, I'll tell you something about me since you've told me so much about you.”

“What you said this morning?” Neil asked, walking back over to his big chair in the corner and tucking his legs under his body as he sat down.

“Yeah.” Andrew nodded, “Listen, I know what it's like to be scared of people, to be scared of someone moving to fast out of the side of your vision, or of someone coming up to you too quickly or getting too close. My mother was...not a mother.”

Neil stayed silent while Andrew seemed to search through his head to find the right words.

“Tilda Minyard was...” Andrew trailed off again, “Tilda had her issues. She drank, she did drugs, and she beat the shit out of me almost every single day for 15 years. Every time she looked at me I think she just saw her mistake. She was going to give me up for adoption, or, well, she did give me up for adoption but she changed her mind and took me back and left my brother.”

“Brother?” Neil's eyes went wide.

“Yeah,” Andrew said, “I have a twin brother out there. She got knocked up by some drug dealer and when we were born she just couldn't take the idea of having kids so she gave us up. Something changed though, I don't know if it was a guilty conscious or what, but she came back and took one of us and I ended up being the unlucky one. She started hitting me when I was around one or two, anything I did wrong in the slightest she would just lay into me. Always in places that it would stay hidden under my clothes. She would tell me how she looked at me every day and how I reminded her of the biggest mistake she ever made, about how she should have left me with my brother that day. It wears on a kid, you know?”

“Yeah,” Neil said softly, “I know.”

“She died when I was 15, in a car accident. It was the happiest day of my life. They were going to send me to live with my aunt and uncle but like fucking hell was I ever going to live with Luther so I took good old Tilda's life insurance payout and found the best lawyer I could afford and somehow won the petition to become an emancipated minor . I changed my last name from Minyard to Doe because, irony, and spent the next few years living off of her money and going to school and trying not to fall apart on my own which I succeeded at, more or less.”

Neil was silent while Andrew took another breath and continued.

“The rest is boring, I went to college on an Exy scholarship and decided to go into the FBI rather than try to go pro. What I'm trying to say is that I get it. I might not get all of it because I didn't go through nearly the same hell you did but I get it all the same...we've both got our fair share of scars.”

“Scars?” Neil asked, almost involuntarily.

“Most of them are up here,” Andrew said, tapping his forehead, “but there are some hidden on my body too. Do you want to see them?”

“What?” Neil asked, shocked, “You don't have to.”

“I've seen yours,” Andrew said calmly, “a truth for a truth?”

Neil's breath caught in his chest and he began to feel a tightening sensation inside of it. Andrew was offering some of his deepest secrets up for him to take and god did he want to say no but fuck if he also didn't want to say yes, if only to know that he wasn't alone in this fucking world.

“OK.” Neil rushed out in spite of himself.

Andrew stood from the couch and walked over to the chair in front of him, “Do you mind if I take my shirt off to show you?”

Neil swallowed deeply and opened his mouth to answer but for some reason the words wouldn't come out so he settled on shaking his head in place of the 'no' he was going to say.

Andrew only nodded and pulled the shirt from over his head. Neil's eyes scanned the other mans body as it went, following the lines of muscles from his waist all the way up to his shoulders. He didn't know why he was taking such an interest in someone else's body, he had never felt this kind of admiration before, but he found himself lost in thought as his eyes made contact with several dark tattoos that stood out against Andrew's pale skin.

Andrew knelt in front of him and placed his own hand on his shoulder, “I covered them up the second I could, I needed to have some kind of control over them even if it was something as simple as this.”

Neil's eyes tried to focus on what was below the ink, trying to make out the damage.

“This one,” Andrew held a hand to his left shoulder and the black geometric shape that covered it, “was an iron. She was pressing her clothes for work one day and I had just gotten out of the bathtub, I was still wet and I was running through the house and I slipped and fell into the ironing board, she ended up burning one of the new dresses she got so she snapped and pushed me against the wall and hit me with the iron while it was still on, she pressed it into my shoulder and burned me.”

Neil winced at the image of that, of a young Andrew being burned with a fucking iron, his own shoulder began to ache as the pain of the cauterization wounds radiated out.

“Can I touch your hand?” Andrew asked.

Neil narrowed his eyes, not entirely understanding why Andrew was asking, but answered anyway, “Yes.”

Andrew reached out and gently grabbed Neil but his wrist, pulling his hand up towards his shoulder and lightly pressing it against the tattoo on his shoulder. It was then that it all clicked in Neil's mind, Andrew was letting him feel the scar underneath the tattoo so he would know he was telling the truth. He ran his fingers over the plane of Andrew's body, feeling the damaged skin that was partially hidden by the ink, his fingers tracing over raised bumps that Neil realized were shaped by the holes in the bottom of the iron. Even as he finished exploring the scar below the tattoo he left his hand on Andrew's skin, absentmindedly tracing over the scar, feeling the warmth radiating off of Andrew's body. They sat like that for close to a minute, silent and letting the feeling of the small touch between them ride out until Andrew finally coughed and stood up.

Neil drew his hand back and clutched it to his own chest as Andrew spoke, “I think...that's enough stories for tonight.”

“Yeah.” Neil nodded, sheepishly avoiding Andrew's eyes as the fingers of his other hand traced along the one that had touched Andrew.

Andrew paused again as he pulled his shirt back over his head, “Now you know why I won't hurt you. I won't be like the people that hurt the both of us. I won't let myself be like them.”

Neil was stunned into silence, unsure of how to respond to Andrew. Andrew seemed to take that as his cue to turn towards the kitchen to get his food. Neil finally worked up the nerve to speak once Andrew disappeared from his sight, “Andrew?”

“Yeah?” Andrew called over the clanking of plates from the kitchen.

“Thank you.” Neil said as Andrew appeared back around the corner with a plate full of greasy Chinese food on his plate.

“Don't mention it,” Andrew smiled, “now go get some damn food.”

Neil laughed and got up from his chair, passing Andrew on the way to the kitchen and stopping as their shoulders lightly brushed together, “I trust you.”

Andrew paused at the words and turned slowly to face Neil, “Good.”

Neil gave him a slight smile and retreated into the kitchen to make his own plate. When he returned to the living room he found Andrew sitting back on the couch, a plate of food on his lap, and flicking through a selection of movies on Netlfix.

“Can we watch something together?” Neil asked, standing behind the couch with his food in his hand.

“That was the plan.” Andrew nodded, more focused on his egg roll than Neil behind him.

“OK.” Neil said, his eyes dancing between the couch and the relative safety of the big chair he'd claimed all night. He walked over to the big chair and stood in front of it, nearly dropping himself into it before he caught another glimpse of Andrew tucked into the corner of the large couch. Neil sucked in a deep breath and left the safety of his chair and sat on the opposite end of the couch from Andrew.

Andre paused on slightly to look at him and Neil could have sworn he saw a slight upturn to his mouth, but his curiously only lasted a few seconds before Andrew spoke, “Any movie requests?”

Neil considered it for a moment before deciding, “Something funny.”

“Funny it is.” Andrew said, selecting a movie and starting it.

They continued on without speaking much, focusing on the food and the movie with the only sound between them come out as small laughs from a stupid joke in the movie. It was comfortable, Neil thought, to be able to sit near someone you trusted and eat together and relax without having to worry if you were going to need to pick up and run at any moment. It was something he could get used to and he refused to acknowledge that it was a dangerous thing to think.

Eventually Neil finished his food and relaxed even more into the couch, falling over onto his side and resting his head on a pillow, keeping himself tucked into a ball so Andrew had room on his side of the couch to relax as well. He didn't know when it happened but eventually he fell asleep on the couch while the movie played. He was only awoken a while later by Andrew.

“Neil, the movie's over.”

“OK.” Neil mumbled.

“Go get in bed, idiot.” Andrew sighed.

“Too comfortable here.” Neil rasped.

“That's nice,” Andrew said, “your injuries wont thank you in the morning though.”

“Legs are asleep,” Neil mumbled, “I'm asleep. Leave me to my misery.”

He could make out a low groan that came from Andrew's direction before he heard the other mans voice again, “Either you get up and get in bed or I'm throwing you over my shoulder and dragging you to your room.”

Somewhere in Neil's half asleep brain he seemed content to take that offer, “Fine,” Neil mumbled, “you can pick me up.”

“Very funny.” Andrew laughed.

“'M serious,” Neil yawned with his eyes still closed, “not getting up unless you carry me.”

“I hate you.” Andrew said softly.

Neil didn't have time to consider those words before he felt two arms slide underneath his sleeping body and hoist him into the air. Neil stifled a laugh as he cracked open one eye and saw Andrew's face looking back down at him, “Hi.” Neil said.

Andrew only rolled his eyes and began to make his way down the hallway. Neil smiled at the heat coming off on Andrew's chest and unconsciously curled more into it, wedging himself closer to Andrew's body as the other man almost cradled him in his arms. Andrew made some kind of sound as Neil looked back up at him through hooded eyes and placed a hand on Andrew's chest, tightening a fist around the loose fabric of Andrew's shirt.

Neil thought he saw Andrew's jaw clench but he wasn't ready to write that off as anything other than a half asleep hallucination. His eyes traced the pale and smooth skin of the forearms holding him up and he let out a small sigh, blowing air across Andrew's neck. Neil's hand stayed wrapped in Andrew's shirt until they reached the door of the guest bedroom which Andrew pushed open with his foot before walking to the bed and depositing Neil onto the soft surface.

“That's never happening again.” Andrew said in an almost shaky voice.

Neil only hummed in response as he watched Andrew retreat from the bed and pause to turn the light off and close the bedroom door as he exited.

That night, for the first time in his entire life, Neil went to sleep with a comforting memory of hands on his body rather than a painful one.

 

<O>

 

ANDREW woke the next morning with a dull ace in the center of his chest and let out a low groan of pain when he rolled out of bed. He looked down and saw a dark semi-circle had formed over night in the exact spot where Neil's palm struck. Not for the first time but he was once again taken aback at the strength behind one of Neil's blows, whoever had trained him when he was locked away all those years had made damn sure that he was able to do some damage when he wanted to.

He picked his shirt from last night up from it's discarded spot on the ground and gave his body a once over in the mirror. The bruise was darker and more pronounced from this angle and was painful to the touch. A few inches to the left or right and Neil could have easily cracked one of his ribs. That line of thinking created an interesting dichotomy between the boy who could so easily break one of his ribs as a reaction to an unwanted touch and the boy who sleepily curled himself into Andrew's arms and allowed himself to be carried back to his bedroom. Andrew shook his head to stave off the memory of Neil cradled in his arms, nuzzling his head into his chest and clinging to him tightly, it was an entirely inappropriate move, something that shouldn't have happened and wouldn't happen again. But still, he couldn't help but think so right it felt to have Neil in his arms, held close against his own body.

“Nope. Nope. Nope.” Andrew repeated to himself in the mirror as he pulled his shirt back over his head, “Last night was nothing. Neil means nothing.”

Maybe if he told himself enough times he would start to believe it.

Any attempts to stretch out his sore back muscles were hindered by the pain in his chest so he just settled for running a hand through his hair and turning to his bathroom to brush his teeth. After his morning routine was finished he let himself out in the hallway, careful to be as quiet as possible as not to wake Neil this early in the morning. As he made his way down the hall he stopped, something felt different than it had last night.

Andrew paused at the threshold of Neil's bedroom and let his jaw go slack when he found the door wide open and the bed empty. He didn't hear any further sound coming fro the apartment and he balled his hands into a fist in order to stave off panic for another moment. He continued down the hallway with quickness, eager to get the revelation that Neil had fled in the middle of the night over with.

This was all his fault. He knew that he shouldn't have carried Neil to bed, no matter what the younger guy said in his sleepy haze. He had pushed too far and Neil couldn't take it and now he was back on the streets, still recovering from his injuries, still being hunted, and still alone.

When Andrew made it to the living room he paused, something there wasn't quite right either. It only took him a moment to realize that the door to his balcony was open and the sounds of the streets below were gently wafting through the room. His entire body tensed, rationally, he thought, no one would be able to break in through his balcony from this high up, but then again, Andrew was never rational. He retreated back to his room to grab his gun from the dresser and made his way back through the apartment with it held at the ready. When he made it back to the patio he paused in his tracks for the third time in a relatively short span of time. Neil was outside.

Neil was outside. On the patio. Laying in the corner. Curled into a ball. In that terrible orange sweater. _Asleep._ Andrew shook his head and went back inside the apartment and towards his room, replacing his gun in his holster and grabbing a pair of fresh clothes for Neil. He tossed the clothing back on the bed in Neil's room and returned to the kitchen to brew a pot of coffee. While the coffee maker worked it's magic Andrew went back to the patio to take another look at Neil. Neil had curled himself into a ball, not that dissimilar to a cat, and had a small smile stretched across his face. Andrew tracked Neil's breathing as he slept, watching his chest rise and fall with each breath.

The coffee maker beeped behind him and he returned to it to pour himself a cup. He sat at the kitchen counter with his mug, taking a sip every few seconds in between turning the pages of the book he was currently reading. When he had finished his first cup of coffee he placed the mug in the sink, marked his page in the book, and went to wake Neil.

Andrew tapped on the glass a few times, “Rise and shine.”

Neil's eyes shot open immediately and Andrew pretended to not notice the small flash of panic that was behind them for only a brief second, “Hi.” Neil rasped, sitting up and leaning his back against the railing of the balcony.

“Sleep well?” Andrew asked with his arms crossed over his chest and a small smirk on his face.

“I...uh...” Neil trailed off, “I woke up in the middle of the night and got scared. The room was, uh, too quiet and the bed was too comfortable. It didn't feel right.”

“So you came and slept on the balcony?” Andrew raised an eyebrow.

“The ground out here felt familiar,” Neil turned his head away from Andrew and he caught a slight flush on the younger mans cheeks, “and the sound from the streets did too.”

“Oh.” Andrew only nodded.

He shook his head to fight away the dull ache in his chest that didn't come from Neil's strike last night. It never occurred to him that someone who spent the last half of their life homeless and sleeping on the street might not be entirely comfortable spending the night in a quiet, clean, room.

“Are you mad?” Neil asked, still sitting on the cold stone ground.

“Why would I be mad?” Andrew asked, stepping fully out onto the balcony and dropping into a sitting position across from Neil. It wasn't lost on Andrew that Neil didn't hesitate or flinch at the sudden closeness like he had done in the days before. “I told you that you can stay here as long as you like, whatever makes you most comfortable, thought I'd at least say wait until you're fully healed before you start sleeping on stone floors. We can see about making the guest room more comfortable for you though.”

“Really?” Neil asked, his eyes going wide.

“Yeah, I'll think of something.” Andrew said, “I put a change of clothes in your room, they should be on your bed.”

Neil nodded and stood up with a smile, stretching his arms out and only wincing in pain just the slightest bit. He stopped just before we walked through the glass doors, “Andrew? Can I keep this sweater?”

Andrew looked up at Neil in that terrible orange sweater from his seat on the ground, his eyes tracing across the faint line down Neil's face, over the messy auburn hair, and nearly getting lost in the deep blue of his eyes, “It's yours.”

“Good,” Neil smiled, playing with the hem of the sweater, “Thank you. I like it.”

Andrew only gave him a small nod in reply which was enough for Neil who turned his back towards Andrew's sitting form and walked into the apartment. Andrew watched Neil go, his eyes drifting over his own last name that stretched across Neil's shoulders, and let out a sigh.

_This was nothing._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a few things:   
> -im very into the idea of andrew carrying neil around everywhere, its adorable and i want to write about it all the time   
> -the slow burn is starting to spark a little bit but ive never written an actual slow burn so hopefully im doing on with it, i know when i want things to finally heat up so its just about getting there at this point   
> -i hinted at it in one of the early chapters but in case someone hasnt caught it, this andrew never cut himself thus he doesnt wear the armbands or have any visible scars


	11. Dead End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first things first, y'alls reading expreince is about to get a lot better because i finally have a beta! i never thought people would respond to this the way they have but all the outpouring of love for this crazy story of mine really makes me want it to be the best that it can possibly be, especially because i'm SO in love with the next few chapters that are coming up 
> 
> so give a giant ass round of applause to @msvoldemort aka my new favorite person on the planet for taking up the hell of a job that is proof reading for me!

 

 

>  

XI

Dead End

 

SUNDAY morning began with a painful jolt as Andrew awoke in a sea of sweat and with the memories of blood. He let out a pained moan as he traced his hand along the tattoo covered scar on his shoulder, the familiar feeling of a burning phantom pain keeping him locked into place. He could still feel it now as if it was happening to him all over again. He could feel the intense heat, he could hear the sizzling skin and muscle, and he could smell the burning flesh.

The memories of burning gave way to memories of panic, or flipping and sliding across a blood covered floor. He could still hear Kevin's screams, he could feel the frantic beat of his heart as he tracked the carried voice through the abandoned building, he could feel his feet slip from under him as he rounded the corner and lost his footing on the pool of blood beneath him. Kevin's blood. He could feel the blow to the back of his head as he laid there, face to face with his partner’s bleeding body. He could remember waking up, still alive somehow, surrounded by paramedics and other agents. He could remember the way his entire body shut down when they told him that Kevin's body was gone. He could remember how his mind flared when he was told that there was no possible way Kevin could still be alive, even in the absence of the body that Andrew _saw,_ because there was just too much blood. The entire room was littered with the sticky substance, the floor, the ceilings, covered in blood. All of it Kevin's. He could remember the funeral. He could remember throwing dirt six feet down into the earth. He could still hear the thump of it reverberating off of the empty casket.

He still felt alone.

Andrew was stuck in bed, paralyzed by the memories, for a few more minutes until he finally willed his limbs to work. He swung his feet over the side of the bed and let the soft touch of carpet to the soles ground him back to this reality. He was at home. The floor was soft and not sticky and red. He wasn't alone, not entirely anyway, because Neil was asleep in the next room over. He pushed his body toward the bathroom and ran through his morning routine before shrugging on a tank top and opening his door and stepping into the hallway.

As Andrew made his way towards the kitchen he paused in front of Neil's door, smiling at the sound that was wafting out from under the door. He could hear the low rumbling of cars, the sound of a busy city, and the patter of rain on a tin roof. Quietly, he opened the door to check on his newfound roommate and let himself smile just a little bit bigger. Neil was, thankfully, still in his bed. His body was stretched out, long and lean, with the new comforter draped across half his body and the hood of Andrew's hoodie covered half of his sleeping face.

Andrew took a moment to take in the new set up of the room. He's spent most of the previous day rearranging furniture and changing things slightly so that Neil would be more comfortable sleeping there. He had started by taking apart the entire bed frame and removing it from the room, leaving just the mattress to rest on the carpeted floor. It was an easy decision to make once Neil relented and told him that it made him feel odd and uncomfortable sleeping in something that was slightly raised off of the ground like the bed. The mattress itself had been pushed flush against the far wall of the room after Neil told Andrew that he always like it best when he could sleep with something solid against his back.

The high thread count sheets had been replaced with lower quality, less comfortable to Andrew's mind, ones. Neil had told Andrew that the soft feeling of the almost silky sheets made him feel restricted and like he was sleeping with something slimy on top of him. It didn't make any sense to Andrew but he went out and purchased the cheapest set of sheets he could find and brought them back for Neil's inspection and Neil smiled when they passed with flying colors.

The mirror had also been removed from the back of the door after Neil said that waking up and seeing his reflection every morning made him terrified to get out of bed. Finally, the issue of the room being too quiet was solved by Andrew donating his iPad to Neil after he downloaded a sleep sounds app. He spent almost an hour showing Neil how to work the device and then almost an hour after that showing Neil how to open the sleep sounds app and how he could customize almost a hundred different sounds and mix and match them to play all night while he slept. Neil spent the entire conversation perched next to Andrew on the arm of the couch, his blue eyes watching intently and following Andrew's finger as he taught him everything he'd need to operate the device.

Andrew was exhausted at the end of the day, out of breath from the constant moving of furniture and from running around the city trying to find things to make Neil's life at his place all the more comfortable. But it was all worth in the end for that look the Neil gave him the same night when Andrew stuck his head in the room to tell the younger man goodnight.

Neil had been sitting on the bed, his back pressed against the wall with his knees drawn up towards his chest. The iPad was cradled on his legs as he clicking through various menus and screens with his tongue sticking out slightly, his eyes intent on figuring out the foreign device. Andrew had only meant to say a quick goodnight but found himself locked into the scene until Neil finally looked up at him with those big eyes gave him an entirely genuine smile.

“ _Thank you.”_ Neil had said, _“For everything.”_

Andrew shut the door to Neil's room with a soft click and made his way towards the kitchen to start on breakfast. He pulled out the coffee pot and set it to brew before stepping out to the balcony for his morning cigarette. The city below seemed to be moving at a slower pace today as Andrew leaned against the balcony and took a drag of his cigarette. The acrid smoke warmed his lungs, filling him with some sort of balance that he'd yet to recover since waking up. It was a nice quiet moment that was shared with no one but himself and the city below. He made it through two and a half cigarettes by the time the coffee maker beeped from the kitchen behind him and he let the still burning stick loose from his fingers, turning back to the apartment as it fell away behind him.

Andrew shut the door to the balcony behind him, locking it, and turned around to find Neil standing in the middle of the kitchen. He was still sleep ruffled and slightly dazed, moving as if he was walking through a dream. His hair stood on ends, messy and tangled above his head like a crown of thorns, and he stretched backwards with a yawn.

Neil caught Andrew's eye as he peered through the opening in the wall between the living room and the kitchen and he let out another sleepy yawn and rubbed his eyes, “Drew?”

Andrew stilled at what Neil called him but didn't say anything about it, “Yeah.”

“Oh,” Neil said, “I didn't know you were awake.”

“I haven't been up that long.” Andrew added, “Sleep well?”

Neil nodded with a smile, “I slept through the night for the first time in I don't know how long.”

“Glad all my hard work didn't go to waste.” Andrew joked as he walked into the kitchen, stepping around Neil to pour himself a cup of coffee.

Neil looked back at him and Andrew realized he was biting his lip which he'd come to notice was something that Neil only did when he was trying to decide if he should say something or not, before Andrew could prompt him, Neil asked, “Do you have any cereal?”

“Yeah,” Andrew raised an eyebrow, “I have a few.”

Neil's eyes widened as Andrew grabbed an assortment of boxes from one of the cabinets and set them out across the counter.

“Fruity Pebbles!” Neil gasped.

Andrew let out a low laugh as he took a step backwards, “Did you just show excitement over food?”

“Oh,” Neil said softly, shuffling his feet back and forth, “they were one of the first things I ate after I escaped. I remember thinking that I didn't know it was possible for something to taste so good. I haven't had them in forever.”

“Well,” Andrew nodded, pulling a clean bowl from the sink, “enjoy.”

Andrew left Neil to his excitement in the kitchen and went back to his room to grab his hamper and as he was about to throw in a small load of laundry his phone buzzed from the bedside table.

Andrew let out a low growl and crossed the room to snatch it off the charger and sighed when he saw it was Nicky calling him, “What?” Andrew answered with a huff.

“Good morning to you too, cousin dear.” Nicky chirped.

“What do you want, Nicky?” Andrew sighed, cradling the phone in between his ear and shoulder as he threw his laundry into the washer.

“Well,” Nicky drew out the last letter, “I was calling to see if you're doing anything tonight?”

“Why?” Andrew asked.

“I was going to invite you out to dinner with Erik and me.” Nicky said.

Andrew rolled his eyes ad he slammed the top of the washer down, “Why would I want to go out to dinner with you and Klose?”

Before Nicky could reply Andrew turned to see Neil sticking his head around the corner.

“Andrew,” Neil borderline yelled down the hallway, “where are the spoons again?”

Andrew's eyes went wide as Nicky let out a sharp gasp on the other side of the line, “Andrew...who is that?”

Andrew's mind began to scramble and Neil called for his attention again, “Andrew! My cereal is getting soggy!”

“Yeah Andrew,” Nicky sing-songed, “his cereal is getting soggy.”

Andrew clapped a hand over the mic of the phone and turned to Neil with a soft whisper, “Second drawer to the right of the fridge.”

“Huh.” Nicky huffed, “I guess I don't need to socialize you.”

“Nicky.” Andrew warned.

“Oh!” Nicky gasped, “I have a better idea! Bring your boyfriend to dinner tonight! Double date! Oh my god, Andrew, this is amazing. I'm so glad I'm not the only gay one in this family!”

“Nicky,” Andrew growled, “You have no fucking idea what you're talking about. You say one more word about this I will kill you. No, I'll kill Erik and make you watch and _then_ I'll kill you.”

“Christ, Andrew!” Nicky croaked, “Go have your morning sex, you're so fucking grumpy!”

Andrew hung up the phone as Nicky continued to talk and threw it across the room, wincing as it bounced off his headboard and fell back onto his bed. He was going to kill Nicky if he broke the fucking screen again. He pushed the thought of Nicky and all the annoying questions that would follow after this and went back to the kitchen, hiding a smile when he found Neil sitting on top of the counter with his legs crossed and a bowl of cereal in his lap.

“Did I do something wrong?” Neil asked in between bites.

“What?” Andrew raised an eyebrow, “When would you have done something wrong?”

“When you were on the phone,” Neil's eyes were anywhere but on Andrew, “you looked mad when I talked to you. I didn't know you were actually on the phone, I'm sorry, I won’t do it again.”

Andrew let out a deep sigh and cradled his hand in his face, he took a moment or two to see if Neil would say anything else before he walked over to the counter and stood in front of Neil, “You have to stop thinking I'm mad at you all the time, if I'm pissed or annoyed or whatever I'll tell you. If I don't tell you then I'm not any of those things, OK?”

“OK.” Neil nodded, taking another bite of cereal.

“It was my cousin on the phone,” Andrew volunteered as he pulled out his own bowl and poured himself a bowl of Captain Crunch, “he's insufferable most of the time.”

“Why do you talk to him then?” Neil asked in a matter of fact manner.

Andrew stopped in his tracks and wondered if Neil was intentionally throwing him hardballs this morning or if this was just more of his genuine curiosity, “Because he's family. Even if he drives me fucking insane and I want to stab him most of the time he's still my cousin and... he's all I have left.”

“What about your brother?” Neil asked, yet again with a tone that betrayed none of his actual thoughts on the matter.

Andrew hopped onto the counter next to Neil, cradling his own bowl of cereal in his lap and took a few bites before he responded, “As far as I can tell my brother had a great life. He has a mother who loves him, a wife, and a daughter. He's a fucking surgeon. We've spent a bit of time together over the years and it's always awkward and I don't really know how to deal with him. I can't really comprehend a version of me that had an actual life that wasn't fucking terrible, one who doesn't wake up with nightmares of his mother beating him or...it doesn't matter. Anyway, it's better that I don't try to involve him in my mess of a life.”

“That makes me sad.” Neil frowned, “If I had family I think I'd want to be with them.”

Andrew was taken aback, he always assumed that Neil was kidnapped or something and that's how he wound up where he was, “You don't know your parents?”

“No,” Neil shook his head, “for as long as I can remember I was underground in those labs. My earliest memory is of being strapped to a bed while people poked and cut me over and over again.”

Neil's hands were shaking, the spoon in his left hand tapping against the glass of the bowl in an erratic manner. Andrew watched Neil as he stood there and slowly saw all the light drain out of his eyes.

“My earliest memory is of going to the park with my mom,” Andrew said quickly and relaxed his shoulders when Neil blinked a few times and then looked back at him, “I thought we were going to play on the playground and when we got there I ran off, straight to the swings. I sat there by myself for hours, swinging back and forth, and watched her as she talked to some guy in a dark coat. I didn't get it at the time but eventually when I got older I realized that she didn't take me to the park that day to play, she took me to meet her dealer and buy drugs. She left me in the park, I never knew if she did it intentionally or she just got so fucked up that she forgot I was there, but I stayed there that day until the sun went down, playing with other kids and feeling safer than I had in a long time. I didn't realize she wasn't coming back until the stars came out and I had to walk three miles home in the middle of the night. When I got home she was passed out on the couch and I woke her up. She went crazy and hit me in the back of the head with a glass plate. It was the only time she ever hit me anywhere that the clothes didn't cover.”

Andrew hadn't realized that by the time he was done telling his story that his hand had subconsciously drifted up to the scar on the back of his head, he met Neil's eyes as he was scrubbing his hand through his hair. Neil looked back at him, his wide eyes blinking, and Andrew lowered his head, pushing aside the small path of hair that was covering the large scar.

Neil reached out a tentative hand and placed a single finger on Andrew's scalp, tracing it down the length of the scar and resting there for a moment before he felt a shiver go through Neil's body before he withdrew his hand.

“I'm not sad I don't know my parents,” Neil said after a few minutes of silence, “I think they probably would have disappointed me anyway. The doctor was the closest thing I had to a mother and even she let me down in the end.”

It wasn't the first time that Neil had mentioned a doctor and curiosity was getting the better of Andrew this morning, “Who's the doctor? You've said that before.”

“She was my doctor wherever I was,” Neil said softly, “she would come in after they had me in one of the labs and put me back together. I saw her almost every single day for as long as I was in that place. One morning I woke up to find her in my room, shaking me awake. She wasn't wearing her lab coat and she had a gun in her hand, I had no idea what was happening. She dragged me out of bed and told me we had to run, she begged me not to use my power to try and see anything, she just told me to follow behind her and not look backwards. She killed five people by the time we made it out and we never looked back until she died.”

“How did she die?” Andrew asked before he could even stop himself, “Wait, I'm sorry. You don't have to answer that.”

“No,” Neil shook his head, it's fine, “it's been a long time, it doesn't really hurt anymore, it doesn't feel like anything. We were squatting in an abandoned house in some nowhere fucking place in Arizona when they found us. Lola was there, she had a group of Unkindness with her, and a younger boy that I'd never seen before. I saw it all happen before they even broke through the front door, there was nothing I could do to stop it, she wouldn't let me...she wouldn't let me try to save her. The boy came in last and when I finally saw him up close half of his body was covered in burns. The doctor killed most of the Unkindness and tried to distract Lola while I hid. She wouldn't listen to me when I tried to warn her about the boy, I kept screaming to try and tell her what he was going to do but she hit me and told me to be quiet and run. Maybe she knew, maybe she didn't. But I ran out of the house before I could see it all happen again.”

Neil's hands were shaking again but there was still a light behind his eyes. Andrew leaned in a little closer to Neil, “You don't have to keep telling me this.”

“There's not much left to tell,” Neil shrugged, “Lola gave the command and then the boy, Brian, closed his eyes and then he was covered in flames. There was so much fire, god, the smell of it was, no. No. No. Brian grabbed the doctor by the neck and then she was covered in fire and then she was screaming and then she was dead and then I was alone.”

Andrew let the weight of the story hit him like a fucking train. There was almost too much to unpack. “The boy was...on fire?” Andrew could barely comprehend it.

“Yeah,” Neil said softly, “one minute he was normal and then the next he was covered in flames and could spread them wherever he touched.”

“That's...” Andrew trailed off, “What the fuck? There are more people out there who can do things like you? Kids?”

“Oh,” Neil laughed, he actually laughed, “I thought you would have figured that out by now.”

“What the fuck?” Andrew repeated again. He was starting to feel insensitive, Neil had just told him about his mother figure’s death but all he could focus on was the confirmation of literal people with superpowers actually existing. He, maybe naively, thought all this time that Neil was just a crazy outlier, but now? _What the fuck?_

“I don't know how many,” Neil finally added, “I saw a few in passing down there, they kept us all separated mostly. I know everyone had numbers thought. I was number 10.”

“Information overload.” Andrew mumbled to himself as he hopped down from the counter.

“I can tell you more later,” Neil said, “if you want. I just...don't want to remember any of this anymore.”

“As far as I'm concerned you never have to tell me anything about that place ever again, not if you don't want to.” Andrew said as he sat his bowl in the sink next to Neil's and rinsed both of them out.

Neil was about to say something but the shrill ring of his phone caught his attention, it was the dedicated ringtone he had for Wymack.

“Fuck,” Andrew sighed, “hold on.”

Andrew jogged back to his room and grabbed his phone from where it had fallen on the bed. He let out a sigh of relief when he found out it wasn't cracked before he answered his phone. “Doe.”

“Doe,” Wymack gruffed, “get your ass down to the lab. Now.”

“Why?” Andrew asked, “What's wrong.”

“Something's happened,” Wymack said, “someone broke in and attacked Klose and Hemmick. They stole the two bodies from Klose's lab too.”

“Nicky?” Andrew almost gasped, “I just fucking talked to him. Is he OK?”

“He's fine,” Wymack rushed out, “he's a little shaken up and Klose took more of a beating than he did. Hemmick's been cleared by the paramedics at the scene and Klose was taken to the hospital.”

“Fuck,” Andrew mumbled, “I'm on my way. Let me get dressed and I'll head out in 10.”

“I'll be here.” Wymack said before he hung up.

Andrew exchanged his pajamas for something more appropriate for work, a button up shirt and a pair of fitted jeans, and slid his gun onto his belt holster before walking back into the kitchen to find Neil sitting on the counter with his iPad.

“What's wrong?” Neil looked up at him from the screen.

“Something happened at work,” Andrew told him, “my cousin's been hurt. Someone attacked the lab where we were keeping the bodies of those Unkindness guys while he was there.”

“Oh my god,” Neil whispered, “is he OK? Please tell me he's OK.”

Neil actually looked genuinely worried for Nicky and it made Andrew take a step back out of shock, “They said he's going to be fine, he's just a little beaten up. I need to get down there and check out the scene and make sure he's really OK.”

“Let me come with you!” Neil said, jumping down from the counter.

Andrew took another step back, Neil was full of surprises this morning, “You can't. It's work and everything is official and technically you're wanted for questioning about those dead bodies.”

“But...who's going to protect you?” Neil said softly, turning his head slightly so the still healing slash on his face was prominently facing Andrew.

“Neil,” Andrew said, “you don't have to protect me. I can take care of myself.”

“I...” Neil trailed off again, “I don't want you to get hurt, Andrew. You're my friend and...”

Andrew felt the tightness in his chest returning. He bit back the urge to scream _this is nothing_ over and over again as Neil looked at him with his big eyes. “Can I put my hands on your shoulders?”

Neil nodded.

Andrew smiled and placed both of his arms on either side of Neil's shoulders, rooting him into place, “It's too dangerous for you to be out in your condition. Even if you did come with me you're in no state to fight off trained killers. I'll be fine. I'll be back in a couple of hours.”

“Do you promise?” Neil asked softly.

The word fell on top of him like a boulder. For an instant Neil had been replaced by Kevin. They were standing in almost this same position on that night before he died. Kevin had asked him the same question. _Do you promise?_ Andrew couldn't make that promise, not again.

Andrew was frozen by his fear when Neil grabbed his hand and laced their fingers together. He felt Neil's hand tighten around his as Neil closed his eyes. They stood there for several minutes and Andrew could feel Neil's body start to quiver before the other boy finally opened his eyes.

“You'll be fine,” Neil said in a shaky voice, “just watch out for the stop sign right outside the parking garage. Some asshole is going to run it and clip the front of your car without stopping.”

Andrew nodded and felt the tension release from his shoulders as he found out it was easier to make a promise to someone who could see the future.

“I'll be back-” Andrew stopped, “Well, I guess you know when I'll be back.”

Neil let out a small laugh and playfully pushed him backwards. It sent another jolt through Andrew's body.

“While I'm gone,” Andrew added, “you should throw that sweater into the washer with the stuff I have going right now. You know how to work the dryer?”

“Put clothes in, press button, wait?” Neil rolled his eyes.

“You didn't know how to use an iPad until yesterday, Neil.” Andrew deadpanned.

“Point taken.” Neil shrugged, “I'll wash it.”

Andrew gave Neil a wink before letting himself out the door and hustling down to his car.

 

<O>

 

THE lab was already filled to the brim with agents by the time Andrew arrived. He rushed into the building to find Nicky sitting in a chair off to the side next to Wymack, he had a large cut on his forehead and what looked to be a black eye forming but otherwise he seemed intact.

“You idiot.” Andrew sighed as he came to a stop in from of his cousin, “What the hell happened?”

Nicky looked up at him and blinked a few times and made a fist to steady his shaking hand, “It all happened so fast, Andrew. Erik and I were just sitting on one of the lab tables talking and laughing and then all the lights went out, the door flew open and three of these bald guys who looked just like the ones Erik had in the drawer busted into the room. I tried to go for my gun but...they were so fucking fast. I've never seen anyone move that fast. One of them hit me over the head and Erik jumped in to try and help me and, god, he jumped on top of me to cover me and they started kicking him and then he went still and...Fuck, Andrew, I thought he was dead.”

Andrew dropped to his knee and rested a hand on Nicky, “It's OK, you're safe. It's over.”

“I-I know,” Nicky stumbled, “One of them kicked me in the face and I guess I passed out. When I woke up the lab had been destroyed and the bodies were gone. I fucked up, I couldn't stop them. Some fucking FBI agent I am.”

“If you weren't already so fucked up right now I'd hit you for saying stupid shit like that.” Andrew sighed, “Have you heard from Erik?”

Wymack cut in, “I just got a call from Walker, she's at the hospital with him. He's got some cracked ribs and a concussion. They're keeping him over night for observation but otherwise he checks out.”

“Good.” Nicky mumbled.

“Let me talk to some people around here, and I'll take you to the hospital to see him after.” Andrew nodded as Nicky smiled and sank back into the chair. He grabbed Wymack by the elbow to haul him away from his cousin.

“What the fuck do you think you're doing, Doe?” Wymack snapped.

Andrew let go of his elbow and took a few steps backwards, “How the fuck did this happen? How did they even get into the building?”

“Funny thing,” Wymack sighed, “Every electronic device went down-”

“In a half mile radius.” Andrew finished the familiar statement.

Knowing what he knew now he had to wonder if these convenient little brownouts were less crazy military EMP and more crazy scientific, or something, person with powers.

“This has to stop.” Wymack growled, “Between these attacks on two of our agents and the body from the fucking Butcher...this is too much shit on my doorstep.”

“I might have something on these guys.” Andrew said.

Wymack's head snapped around towards him faster than Andrew had ever seen before, “What the hell did you just say?”

“I have a...confidential informant.” Andrew shrugged, he wasn't entirely sure if Neil would be OK with this but fuck it, his cousin just had the shit kicked out of him because of these guys, “My guy doesn't know much but we might have a name for this group.”

“When the fuck did this happen?” Wymack's eyes went wide.

“Recent development,” Andrew said, “from what I gather these guys are like a...sort of contracted group. The go by the name of The Unkindness.”

“What kind of video game fuck name is that?” Wymack shook his head.

“The back tattoo.” Andrew added, “Ravens. An unkindness of ravens.”

“Original.” Wymack rolled his eyes, “You're going to have to give me more. Get your guy in here.”

“No!” Andrew growled, “He's not coming anywhere near this. It's confidential for a reason. He doesn't know any more.”

“I doubt that,” Wymack snapped, “I don't have any more time to deal with your shit today but we're not done with this conversation.”

Nicky stumbled over to their conversation before Andrew could reply, “Can we go see Erik now?”

Andrew gave Wymack a questioning look, the other man shrugged, “Go check on him. We'll pick this up on Monday, Doe.”

“C'mon Andrew,” Nicky said, grabbing Andrew by the wrist, “You can tell me about your new boyfriend in the car.”

Wymack raised an eyebrow and Andrew really fucking wished his cousin hadn't just gotten his ass kicked because he wanted to do it himself.

 

 


	12. Sense & Sensitivity

 

 

XII

Sense & Sensitivity

 

SPENDING three weeks with Andrew was...something else, Neil thought. It was something he never would have expected to experience. It was nice to wake up every day and not have to wonder if he'd be able to sleep the next night, if he would be able to eat anything for the rest of the day. The years on the run with the doctor were hard but he still had always at least had something to eat since it was easier for two people to steal something than one. However, the years since he was alone were not so kind. There had been times when he went days without eating, without sleeping, knowing that if he stopped he would be captured and most likely, killed.

It was why he was cherishing every moment he had with Andrew. Every breakfast, lunch and dinner. Every night when he laid his head down onto a pillow in a room that was made his own, a room with a door and a lock. Every time he watched the door to the apartment close as Andrew left for work and Neil gripped the key in his hand. He knew it wouldn't last forever. He knew it _couldn't_ last forever. He was falling into a false sense of security and he was getting sloppy. He stayed with Andrew because it felt nice, he didn't care that he wasn't able to see things, because he was safe for the moment. What would happen when it all fell apart? What if he had stayed with Andrew for too long and he'd lost every fucking survival skill he'd learned? He hadn't run, trained, or done hardly anything physical for the last few weeks as he recovered from his fight with Lola and he could feel his muscles shrinking, losing the one edge he had even without his visions.

But then he would look at Andrew and none of it seemed to matter. The loss of visions that he had relied on for all of his life to keep him safe seemed like a fair price to pay to be around the man who kept him safe. The man with pale skin, almost golden eyes, and blonde hair. The man who opened his home and had done so much for him. The man who had stitched him back together and carried him to bed when he couldn't walk. The man who had given him a name.

Something inside of Neil was willing to give up almost everything to stay with Andrew and that idea alone made him sick to his stomach. He could hear the doctor in his head screaming, pushing him to the ground and beating the idea out of his stupid, stupid head. Why would he risk everything for another person? Another person who couldn't fucking protect him, not with that he was up against. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that he'd been nowhere but Andrew's apartment for the last few weeks. That had to be it, once he got back into the real world and back onto the streets he would remember how dangerous everything was and how the smallest mistake could end his life. The world was not Andrew's apartment and he couldn't stay there forever.

Neil shook his head to ward off the thoughts, he could think about this all another time. It was Saturday which meant that Andrew didn't have to go into the office unless something major happened. Saturday had sort of become _their_ day, a day for them to relax around the house together, talking about nothing and everything. Andrew would share stories about the insane things he'd seen working for the FBI and Neil would sometimes tell stories about the weird places he and the doctor had stayed when they were on the run. He and Andrew would eat breakfast together and then Neil would normally spend close to an hour begging Andrew to sit on the couch with him to watch yet another marathon of whatever Real Housewives city he'd become obsessed with thanks to Andrew's Hulu account. Andrew would complain and bitch the entire time, but Neil would always steal a glance or two at his friend next to him on the couch and find Andrew sitting there and intently following along with every bit of drama on the screen.

By lunch time Neil would normally start to feel a little drowsy so Andrew would retreat to the desk in his room to work on some kind of paperwork while Neil would curl himself into a ball on the couch and nap, pulling the hood of the orange sweatshirt over his head to block out the light. And after a few hours he’d stretch himself out and knock on the door of Andrew's room to either find the man hunched over a laptop or asleep in his bed as well.

Dinner was the usual fight of Neil not wanting to pick something and Andrew always insisting until Neil gave up and threw a stack of menus at him. They'd eat, watch a movie, and Neil would end up trying to convince Andrew to carry him back to his bed again and he would fail every time.

“You awake in there?” Andrew's voice from outside in the hallway pulled Neil from his thoughts once again.

“Yeah,” Neil called back, his voice still groggy from sleep, “I just woke up.”

“I'm about to start the coffee, want anything?” Andrew asked.

Neil pushed himself out of bed and grabbed the sweater from the ground, pulling it on over his body as he opened the door and found himself face to face with Andrew, “That tea you made the other day was really good, do you have any of that left?”

“Yeah,” Andrew nodded, “I'll go get started on it while you take a shower.”

“OK.” Neil smiled.

Andrew gave him a small smirk back before turning on his heel and making his way towards the kitchen. Neil set off in the opposite direction towards the small bathroom at the end of the hallway. He closed the door behind him, locked it, and began to kick off his clothes. He normally turned the shower on first and let the steam fog the mirror before he undressed but today was different. He wanted to see his body this morning to check on the progress his wounds had made.

The slash on his face was now just a faint pink scar. Andrew had gone out and bought him some kind of cream that supposedly makes scars less visible and he had been applying it daily to some great results. It was one less thing for him to worry about and now at lest he wouldn't have an entirely mangled face.

The stitches had come out of both of his legs and the large gash he'd gotten on his outer thigh the night he met Andrew was mostly closed up but he could already tell it was going to leave yet another scar, he wasn't too worried about applying the cream to that once since it would always be covered up by clothes. The puncture wounds on his legs were now just crescent shaped scabs, they would scar too.

The cauterization marks on his chest were still fairly sensitive and the skin had just started to recover. The four mid-sized light pink triangles stood out among the white lines of old scars on his tan skin and he covered them with the roll of shrink wrap and duct tape that was sitting on the bathroom counter. The wounds were still too sensitive to be pelted with water but he was tired of not showering so Andrew had devised the plan to tape the shrink wrap over the side of the chest they were on, so he could wash himself off without having to worry about the pain. It seemed like Andrew was always finding new ways to help him.

Neil stood under the spray of the shower and let it wash over him. He felt the muscles in his body, tight from his usually defensive sleeping position, relax under the warmth of the water. It send a chill through his entire body, from his head down to his feet, as he relaxed and leaned against the wall. Something slipped into his mind just then, the image of Andrew doing the same thing. His mind was filled with thoughts of Andrew bracing himself against the wall of a shower with rivers of water rolling down his broad shoulders.

“What the fuck?” Neil whispered to himself as he tried to shake the idea of a naked and wet Andrew from his mind.

This wasn't right; he shouldn't be thinking these things. He should have someone behind him right now smacking the thoughts out of his head. _This wasn't right._ Neil let out a low groan and held his own hand up a the ready, if no one was around to beat the thoughts off of his head then he would have to do it himself just as he'd done in the years since the doctor died. He raised his hand, ready to make contact with the skin of his face, raw and pink from the hot water, but stopped just before his hand reached his destination.

Before he could hit himself Andrew had once again filled his mind, but this time the other man wasn't naked and covered in water, he was crouched down in front of Neil with a small smile on his face.

“ _We're going to need to work on the whole hitting yourself thing.”_ The memory of Andrew said.

And just like that Neil let his hand drop to his side as he sunk to the floor of the shower. He pressed his knees against his chest and let the water wash over him from above, rocking back and forth slightly.

He didn't want to have to fight the thoughts he was feeling away with a firm hand, he didn't want to have to hurt himself to stop thinking about Andrew like that. But he had to stop somehow. It wasn't right, Andrew was his friend, he was only helping him, and he was a _man_.

Neil remembered the first time he had slipped up and told the doctor he really noticed something about another person, and it just happened to have been another boy. He had seen the other boy outside of a convenience store they were in and the boy had come up to him as he was sitting on one of the little rides outside of the store. It was nothing exciting, just a small animation horse that rocked back and forth, and all he was doing was sitting on it while the doctor was inside trying to steal some food for them to eat.

“ _Aren't you a little too old for that?”_ The boy had asked.

Neil remembered looking at the boy who was probably around his age and noticing his eyes, they were a brilliant blue, like the bed of a lake. _“I'm just sitting here while I wait for someone inside.”_

“ _I used to beg my mom to let me ride that when I was little.”_ The boy smiled.

“ _I didn't know it moved.”_ Neil shrugged.

The boy had only smiled again and pulled a quarter out of his pocket and dropped it into the slot next to the mouth of the horse. Neil had immediately yelped when a carnival song started to play from somewhere and the horse began to rock back and forth. He was so scared he would fall off and injure his leg that he held onto the horse for dear life. The boy had just grinned at him, his blue eyes watching the horse and Neil.

“Jeremy, we're going to be late! Hurry up!” An older woman had called to the boy.

“ _Sorry!”_ The boy said before turning back to Neil, _“Hope you have fun! Maybe I'll see you around again!”_

Neil had watched the boy bounce away and smiled back when he turned and flashed him a smile full of blindingly white teeth. The memory of the boy’s eyes almost burned into his brain until the doctor came out of the store and found him riding on the back of the mechanical horse.

“ _Are you stupid? Where did you get the money from that? Why would you draw attention to yourself? People are going to notice a boy of your age riding on the back of something made for a toddler!”_

“ _The...the boy with the pretty blue eyes gave me the quarter.”_ Neil had stammered.

The doctor had tensed and grabbed him by the wrist, dragging him back to the house they were squatting at, and hit him across the face the second the door closed.

“ _You do not notice things like that again! Do not talk to people! Do not call anyone, especially other boys, pretty! Do not want to be with someone other than me or alone! You are too dangerous and too stupid to be with anyone else!”_

Four loud thumps from the bathroom door drew Neil away from his painful memories; it was Andrew, “You OK in there?”

“Uh,” Neil hesitated, “yes. Getting out now.”

“OK.” Andrew said, “Got your tea out here when you're dressed.”

Neil cut off the shower and listened for the sound of Andrew's footsteps retreating. He dried himself off and pulled on the fresh pair of clothes, once again something Andrew let him borrow, and pulled his orange sweater back on before walking out into the hallway.

Andrew was sitting at the counter with a book and a mug of coffee, he turned when he heard Neil come down the hallway, “All clean?”

Neil only nodded and tried not to look at Andrew. He tried not to notice his eyes, his arms, the tattoo peaking out from the edge of one of his sleeves, or the small freckle on the back of his neck.

Neil drank his tea and ate a bowl of fruit next to Andrew in silence. He caught Andrew looking at his breakfast out of the corner of his eyes a few times and by the fourth glance he finally said something, “I'm not being weird, I just like fruit.”

“I didn't say anything!” Andrew hummed.

“But you wanted to!” Neil glared, “I couldn't fall asleep last night so I came in here after you went to bed and cut it up for my breakfast this morning.”

“I was wondering where it came from.” Andrew shrugged.

“It wouldn't kill you to eat some fruit, you know? I don't know how you can eat chocolate chips for breakfast.” Neil rolled his eyes.

“Easy,” Andrew smiled, “like this.” He tipped his head back and threw a handful of chocolate chips in his mouth and chewed them slowly for emphasis.

“I don't know how you have the body you do when you eat like that.” Neil mumbled.

Andrew began to choke on his sweets and coughed, Neil's body tensed and he knew that Andrew had heard him. He waited for Andrew to say something, but nothing came. Instead, Andrew held out a handful of chocolate chips.

“You eat these and I'll eat the fruit.” Andrew raised an eyebrow in challenge.

Neil shook his head and got up from his chair, “Don't want 'em.” He dropped his empty bowl into the sink and retreated to his side of the couch, falling into it and tucking his legs to his chest as he rolled over onto his side.

“As much as I'm looking forward to the continuing adventures of the Real Housewives of New York,” Andrew said between bites, “I was thinking we could maybe go to the mall today and get you some clothes of your own.”

“What?” Neil gasped, shooting up into a seated position on the couch.

“Well, you can't wear my clothes forever and I'm running out of sweatpants.” Andrew shrugged.

“I'm sorry.” Neil frowned and looked away from Andrew. It never occurred to him that he was actually stealing all of Andrew's clothes.

“No, no.” Andrew said, getting up and crossing the room to sit on the couch, “I didn't mean it like that. I just figured you might want to have clothes that are yours. We can just run into a few stores and you can pick out some things that you want.”

Neil looked back at him and leveled his stare, “How am I supposed to pay for these clothes?”

“I'll cover them.” Andrew said.

Neil didn't say anything for a few moments. He knew that fighting with Andrew about him paying for things would be a losing battle, so he already gave up on that before he began. He was more worried about leaving the apartment for the first time in three weeks. He had been able to form a safe bubble and the idea of finally going back into the world scared him, especially after his line of thinking from this morning. Would his going back into the world remind him of everything? Would it make him want to finally leave Andrew's apartment and start running again? He wasn't entirely sure if he was ready to give this all up again. Add into that the terrifying idea of going to a mall, with all of its points of entry and all of the people inside, without being able to see any visions...

“No.” Neil said.

“No?” Andrew laughed, “Why?”

Neil desperately didn't want Andrew to know that he hadn't been able to see any visions other than the few times that he touched his hand, “I don't like malls. Too many people. Too many points of entry. Too many bad things that could happen.”

“Neil,” Andrew sighed, “you're psychic. I'm pretty sure you'll be able to tell if bad things are going to happen.”

“Just to you.” Neil said without thinking.

“What do you mean?” Andrew raised a single eyebrow.

Neil felt his eyes go wide and he leaned back as far as he could from Andrew, refusing to answer him.

“Neil,” Andrew said softly, “tell me what you meant.”

“I...I didn't mean anything.” Neil stammered.

“Neil.” Andrew said, still soft yet slightly more demanding.

Neil sighed, he knew there was no way out of this other than running, “I haven't been able to see anything about myself since I've been here. No matter what I do or how long I try all I see is darkness. The only visions I've had are when I've touched your hand.”

Andrew sat back with his mouth slightly open and ran a hand through his hair, “Why the hell didn't you say anything?”

“I didn't think it was a big deal until right now,” Neil frowned, “I wasn't going anywhere but here and I could still see things to make sure you were going to be OK. I figured that whenever I finally left they would start coming back or something.”

Andrew blinked a few times and then stood up, turning his back to Neil, he looked...hurt, “So you've been planning on running this entire time?”

“I...” Neil trailed off, “I didn't think I would stay here forever, I have to leave at some point.”

“You idiot,” Andrew growled, “I told you that you could stay here for as long as you want.”

“You don't want me here forever!” Neil countered.

“I want you here for as long as you want to be here,” Andrew threw his hands up in frustration, “if you want to leave, then leave.”

Neil watched Andrew as he stalked into the kitchen. He couldn't figure out why he seemed so fucking upset. He wasn't angry, it was something different.

“Andrew?” Neil said softly as he got up from the couch and walked to the kitchen, keeping the divided counter between them.

Andrew was sitting on top of the counter, tapping his fingers against his legs, “Sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you.”

“I didn't mean to make you mad,” Neil mumbled, “I wasn't lying to you...I just didn't know how to say anything.”

“You can leave whenever you want,” Andrew croaked out, “I...I want you to be safe and I like having you here, but I won't hold you against your will. I won't do that, Neil.”

“You're not holding me hostage, Andrew.” Neil shook his head, “I...I like being here. I've felt safer in these last three weeks, even without being able to see anything, than I have in my entire life. I just didn't know how much longer I was allowed to stay here so I was just trying to plan ahead for the day you told me to leave.”

“I need a cigarette.” Andrew groaned, hopping off the counter and grabbing his pack.

Neil immediately followed him to the balcony and stood beside Andrew, sliding his arm slightly closer to the other man as they leaned against the railing.

“This is me telling you right now that if you want to stay here for the next five minutes or the next five years, then you're welcome to.” Andrew said after a few drags.

“Really?” Neil asked, sliding his arm a little bit closer to Andrew.

“Yes.” Andrew said softly, “I mean it. That room is your room. That key is your key. It may seem weird or whatever and I don't quite get it myself but as far as I'm concerned this place is your home if you want it to be.”

“Home?” Neil asked, the word felt alien to him.

“Home” Andrew said, never taking his eyes off of the city stretched in front of both of them.

Neil couldn't find any words to respond with. Everything he wanted to say either sounded too grand or not grand enough. Andrew had given him a name, a room, a home. What could he say to that? Thank you didn't seem like it would cut it. Instead, he slid his arm across the railing even further so that Andrew's skin was pressed against the orange sleeve of the sweater. Neither of them said anything and Andrew didn't react to the touch save for a small glance down at their arms pressed together.

They stood there, side by side, for what seemed like an eternity. Neil played the words over and over in his head. Maybe he could stop running. The danger was still out there and people were still after him and Andrew, he could tell himself that he was staying to protect Andrew. If that was what it took to convince himself, then that is what he would do. He was there to protect Andrew and maybe, just maybe, Andrew was there to protect him. The doctor had told him once that it was possible for people’s powers to adapt, she had seen someone who could create some kind of force field for only herself evolve to the point where she could only create them for others. She had told him that no one really understood how or where most people got their power,s but at a basic level it was mostly tied to their brain.

Maybe something inside of him had changed the day he met Andrew and maybe his body knew that it could no longer sustain the visions that had begun to take apart his mind more and more after continuous use. Maybe his purpose in life now wasn't to only protect himself; maybe it was to protect other people.

Neil looked back at Andrew and smiled as he pushed his arm just the tiny bit closer. He swore he could feel the heat coming off of Andrew's skin as they both looked over the city below them that was covered in the morning sun.

Maybe he really was home.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> props to anyone who picks up on something ;)


	13. Blind Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello, the string of shameless fluff chapters continues on! i promise we'll get back into the actual PLOT soon!

 

 

 

XIII

Blind Date

 

ANDREW was the first to move from the spot on the balcony after mentally willing his legs to move. God, it would have been so easy to stand there with his arm pressed to Neil's, smoking and overlooking the city, all fucking day. But something had to be done and someone had to make the first move to fix the air between them, so Andrew bit the bullet.

“So, are you staying?” Andrew finally asked, dropping his cigarette over the ledge.

“Did you mean it?” Neil whispered, “That I could stay for five years if I wanted?”

“I mean,” Andrew shrugged, “five was just a random number so I guess you can stay longer than that if you want.”

He didn't miss Neil's glare, even out of the corner of his eye, and Neil blew a gust of air upwards, rustling his bangs, “What happens when you get sick of me being the way I am?”

Andrew's chest clenched, he wanted nothing more than to shake Neil and tell him he was perfect the way he was, “I won't.”

“How do you know?” Neil asked.

Because you're beautiful, kind, badass, and broken, just like I am.

“If you haven't driven me crazy yet, then I don't think there's much more you could do to push my buttons.” Andrew finally said.

Neil looked at him for a minute, his big blue eyes scanning every inch of Andrew's face as if they were desperately searching for a lie or a way out, “OK.” Neil said, his voice barely above a whisper, “I'll stay.”

“Good.” Andrew said, turning to Neil and locking their eyes, “We'll have to stop by a locksmith today to make a copy of my key for me, since it seems like you'll be holding onto that copy.”

Neil had had the only key to Andrew's apartment in his possession for three weeks now, and every single day Andrew rode the elevator up to his floor with a pit in his stomach as he waited to see if Neil would unlock the door and let him inside. It always lit something deep inside him when he heard the locks slick and the door swung open to reveal Neil, but if this was going to be permanent then Andrew was going to have to get himself another key.

“We're still going out?” Neil gasped.

“Duh,” Andrew rolled his eyes, “We need to fill your closet with clothes that aren't mine. Your room, your clothes.”

“I...I can't go down there,” Neil waved his arms over the edge of the balcony and down towards the city, “when I can't see anything. It's not safe. I don't know how to protect myself out there if I can't see.”

Andrew leaned in as close to Neil as he thought he could without spooking the younger man. He was so close he could see the faint pink scar running down the side of his face, a souvenir of the last time he was out in the world alone and without his ability to “see” as he called it, “That's why I'm here.”

“What?” Neil asked, blinking at him.

Andrew could feel Neil's breath on the tip of his nose as he spoke, “I won't let anything bad happen to you out there.”

“But...you can't know that.” Neil frowned.

“Maybe,” Andrew shrugged, “but I also know that I'll try my fucking hardest to protect you if I have to.”

“Protect me?” Neil hissed, “I'm supposed to protect you!”

Andrew rolled his eyes and took a step backwards, running a hand through his hair, “Fine, let's make a deal.”

“A deal?” Neil blinked.

“Yes, a deal.” Andrew nodded, “You protect me and I'll protect you.”

“A deal to...protect each other?” The words poured out of Neil's mouth like they were something he'd never spoken before.

“Yes.” Andrew simply said.

“OK,” Neil said softly, “deal.”

“So, you ready to make a day out of everything?” Andrew asked.

Neil bit his lip and rocked back and forth on his feet as he played with the hem of his sweater, “Do we really have to?”

“Yes.” Andrew gave Neil a hard stare.

“Fine.” Neil sighed, “Let's go.”

Andrew gave Neil a once over and laughed. He was standing there with wet, messy hair in a pair of baggy sweats and an over-sized bright orange sweater, “You're not going out looking like that.”

Neil let out a low growl, “I have to go out to get clothes but I can't go out to get clothes because you don't like my clothes?”

Andrew rolled his eyes and turned his back to Neil as they walked back into the apartment, “Neil, it's going to be so fucking hot in that outfit.”

“What do you expect me to wear then?” Neil snapped, “Everything you've given me is like this.”

“Wait here,” Andrew sighed, “I'll be right back.”

Andrew left Neil standing in the living room and retreated back to his own room. He pulled a pair of gym shorts out of the bottom drawer of one of his dressers, fished a simple tee from the closet and made his way back to the living room. He stopped halfway down the hallway when he remembered how Neil felt about showing the scars on his arms. He stood there for a second until a lightbulb went off in his head and he turned back to his room to grab something from the back of his closet.

Neil was still standing in the same spot by the time Andrew made it back to the living room and handed him a new stack of clothing, “The shorts might be a bit loose on you but you can use the drawstring to tighten them.”

Neil held up the shirt and frowned, “Andrew, if we're going out...I really don't want people to see my arms. I don't like when people stare because of the scars.”

“I know,” Andrew said softly as he pulled two long black bands out from behind his back, “try these.”

“What are they?” Neil asked.

“Walker got me them for Christmas last year,” Andrew said, “They’re compression armbands for running. You slide them over your arms and they're supposed to keep your blood flowing when you're running, I've barely used them but they don't get too hot, so you shouldn't be burning up when we're out under the sun.”

Neil took the bands like they were a lifeline, he held them in his hand and unfurled them, comparing the length of them against the length of his arm, they were just long enough to cover from his wrists to the beginning of his sleeve.

“They might be a little loose,” Andrew said, “because she got them in my size but they should do well enough until we can get to a sporting store and get you ones for yourself.”

Neil nodded and gathered up all the clothing and went back to his room to change. Andrew poured himself another cup of coffee and waited for Neil to reemerge. When he finally came back out he almost looked like a different person. It had been weeks since he'd seen Neil without that damn orange hoodie and he could tell that after close to a month, Neil was starting to put some more meat on his bones. He'd filled out some thanks to an actual diet that consisted of more than just apples and granola bars. His legs looked lean and nimble under the fabric of the shorts and the armbands loosely covered the lengths of his arms, disappearing under his sleeves. Andrew couldn't help thinking, against his better judgment, that Neil looked good.

“What do you think?” Neil asked holding his arms out to the side and spinning in a circle.

Andrew ran thought a million answers to that question before he actually spoke, “Welcome back to the land of the living, a few weeks of actually eating did you good.”

“Yeah,” Neil agreed, running a hand over the front of his body, “I think I'm healed enough to start working out again.”

“Working out?” Andrew coughed, “When did you ever work out?”

“All the time,” Neil shrugged, “it's not like I had a gym membership but I always tried to run everyday and not just for my life. Sometimes I would break into an old gym and use their punching bags just to keep myself up a little.”

“Oh,” Andrew blinked, “wow.”

“Is there a gym in the building? Since I'm living here I should be allowed to use it, right?” Neil asked.

“Yeah,” Andrew nodded, “It's on the 30th floor, I use it sometimes.”

“Good,” Neil's eyes lit up, “can we go together sometime?”

“Uh, sure?” Andrew said hesitantly.

“You'll have to show me how to properly do weights, your arms are...” Neil trailed off, “Never mind.”

Andrew could have sworn he saw Neil's face flush for just a second before he turned away. What in the hell was going on? He watched Neil retreat to the fridge, sticking his head inside of it for a few seconds before pulling out a bottle of water.

“Anyway,” Andrew coughed, “Ready to get this over with?”

“I hate you.” Neil mumbled before taking a sip of water.

“Hey!” Andrew warned, wagging a finger at Neil from across the room, “That's my line.”

 

<O>

 

NEIL looked up at the entrance to the mall with what he assumed was terror written all across his face. This was the last place he wanted to be. His skin was already prickling with adrenaline as he watched the crowds of people constantly flowing in and out of the automatic doors. He had tried so fucking hard all these years to avoid massive crowds, everything about them made him feel so fucking unsafe, like a riot could kick off at any moment.

“Andrew,” Neil mumbled, “I...there's too many people.”

Andrew turned to looked at him with his almost golden eyes, and Neil held his breath as they searched across his face, “Fuck. This was a mistake, I shouldn't have made you come here.”

Dammit. The last thing he wanted to do was upset Andrew. Andrew had given him so fucking much over the last month or so and he just wanted to keep giving and Neil couldn't even go into a damn mall? Andrew had made the deal to protect him so it was time for him to start trusting his friend.

“No...” Neil trailed off, “No, it's fine. I can do this. Just...just stay close to me?”

“Are you sure?” Andrew asked.

“Yeah.” Neil said, at least he thought he was sure.

“Can I grab your hand?” Andrew asked.

“Uh, yeah?” Neil said. Did Andrew want to hold his hand through the mall?

Andrew lightly grabbed Neil's hand and directed it towards one of his belt loops, hooking Neil's index and middle fingers through it, “If you get freaked out or anything just loop your fingers through here, OK?”

Neil looked down at his fingers on Andrew's waist and felt oddly grounded and calm, “OK.” Neil nodded, lingering for a second before he pulled his hand back to his own side.

Before they could walk into the building Neil stopped, closed his eyes and ran a hand through his hair, and tried reaching out with his mind in a desperate attempt to see anything. He was met with darkness.

“Dammit.” Neil mumbled as he fell back in step with Andrew.

“Still nothing?” Andrew asked.

“No.” Neil sighed, “I don't get it.”

Andrew held his hand up, palm open, as he walked with Neil, “Wanna check me?”

Neil looked at Andrew's hand for a second before shaking his head, “No, I trust you to keep me safe. I don't need to see the future to know that.”

“OK,” Andrew shrugged, “it's a standing offer though. Grab on whenever you feel like double checking things.”

Not for the first time Neil couldn't help but marvel at how casual Andrew seemed to be taking the whole psychic thing. He resisted the urge to latch onto Andrew's offered hand. He knew it would quell almost all of his fears in the moment, but he was trying to break himself of that habit, of relying on some external power that wouldn't always be there. The mall was a crowded mess of people and yes, anyone who was out to hurt him could be hidden in the crowd, but he also knew the Director wasn't stupid and that he would almost certainly not launch any sort of attack somewhere so uncontrollable. Plus, the man had no way of knowing that his visions weren't working the way they usually did, it gave him an edge in a way. In thinking that Neil could see an obvious attack coming, the Director would most likely try something less than obvious, which he would be on the look out for.

Andrew tugged him forward and out of his thoughts and towards the entrance of the mall. The interior was a messy throng of people constantly on the move. Groups of friends walking in huddled masses down open airways, gossiping and laughing about the most mundane shit.

“This is unpleasant.” Neil mumbled.

“The faster we get you something to wear the faster we can get out of here.” Andrew swept his arm forward across the expanse of the store.

“You have a point,” Neil conceded, “Where are we going?”

Andrew led the way through the mall, pulling Neil in and out of stores with odd names. Urban Outfitters, American Apparel, American Eagle. Why did there need to be two stores with American in its name?

Neil mumbled insults the entire way as Andrew pushed and pulled him into and out of fitting rooms in attempts to find what fit him exactly in each store. Shockingly, sizes meant nothing between the different stores they were in. A medium at the first store qualified as an extra small at the next one. Who the fuck thought of this shit?

By the time Andrew was satisfied that Neil had enough outfits for everyday life they ended up in front of a sporting goods store. Out of everywhere he'd been dragged to it was where he felt most at home. His eyes scanned the rows and rows of running shoes. He ran his hand over the soft fabric of them and let out a small sigh.

“See something you like?” Andrew asked.

Neil did, but he would never say anything. His eyes had immediately zeroed in on a pair of orange and white running shoes that he couldn't help but noticed matched his favorite sweater almost perfectly. “Not really.”

“Liar.” Andrew rolled his eyes and walked directly to the orange and white pair of shoes, “I should have figured you'd pick these ones.”

“Andrew!” Neil gasped, “No! Are you crazy? Look how expensive those are!”

“So?” Andrew shrugged.

“So,” Neil mocked, “I'm not letting you buy me $300 running shoes!”

“Good thing I'm not asking for your permission.” Andrew turned his back towards Neil and walked away with the shoe box tucked under his arm.

Neil hurried after him and fell in step beside him as they made their way to the back of the store. He tried to block the image of the box under Andrew's arm out of his head as he ran his hand along a display of more of the same kind of armbands Andrew had loaned him. He went for a size smaller than the ones he was currently wearing but was still unsure if they would fit.

“I don't know if these are going to be too tight.” Neil sighed.

“Try them on, then.” Andrew said.

Neil looked around the store and saw no less than 30 people inside, all of whom could easily see him and his scarred arms from nearly everywhere from they were standing. Andrew must have noticed his hesitation because he offered a solution, “You stand over there and I'll block the view of one of your arms while you slip it on.”

Neil nodded and retreated to the emptiest corner of the store and watched as Andrew stood in front of him, his backed turned to Neil's face, and tried to block him out of view. Neil hurriedly slipped the borrowed armband off and replaced it with the new one, smiling when it fit perfectly.

“It's a match.” Neil said softly.

“Good.” Andrew nodded, walking back to the display and pulling off a pair of armbands in each color, along with five sets of black ones.

“How do you have money for all of this?” Neil asked as he tallied up a rough total of all Andrew had spent during the day and instantly felt sick to his stomach.

Andrew didn't answer until they were well out of the store and on their way to the food court, “I made some good investments with Tilda's life insurance money I had left over after the emancipation, and I went to college on an athletic scholarship so any jobs I had during those five years I just saved most of the money. I'm not a millionaire or anything but I've got enough between my savings and my salary with Uncle Sam that I can live comfortably until I'm dead.”

“Isn't that what we all want?” Neil mused.

“What?” Andrew asked with a barely noticeable raise of an eyebrow.

“To live comfortably until we're dead.” Neil shrugged.

“That's dark, Neil.” Andrew laughed.

Neil didn't reply for a short bit as they walked closer to the food court. He finally asked the question that had been burning in his mind since the morning when they settled in line for pizza, “Who is Walker?”

“Huh?” Andrew asked, looking up from his phone.

“Walker,” Neil repeated, “You said she gave you the armbands I'm wearing. Is she your girlfriend or something?”

“Girlfriend?” Andrew repeated with a small smile tugging at the edge of his lips, “Why do you want to know?”

“No..no reason,” Neil stammered, “I just don't want to be the reason you're not spending time with her or something, or any girlfriend.”

“No, Neil,” Andrew sighed, “Walker is my co-worker, not my girlfriend. I can promise you that I don't have a girlfriend.”

“Oh.” Neil said softly.

“Do you?” Andrew asked, “Have a girlfriend?”

“Very funny.” Neil rolled his eyes.

“Honest question.” Andrew mocked, holding his hands up in self defense.

“No.” Neil said, “Obviously. I've never had any anything. Too busy running for my life.”

“You've never kissed anyone?” Andrew asked, almost cautiously.

“No.” Neil said in a flat tone, “There was a time or two when I almost did, but then the doctor always caught me talking to the person and she would get angry. I stopped wanting it a long time ago.”

Neil looked over at Andrew and noticed the tense line of the other mans shoulders and his clenched jaw, “I'm sorry that happened. It's not right.”

“It's no big deal,” Neil said, attempting a smile, “It's not like I could ever have a normal life with someone anyway.”

Andrew's reply was cut off by the girl at the counter calling their number and they took their slices of pizza back to their table in silence, effectively dropping the conversation. The silence continued for a few more minuets as they ate but Andrew finally spoke after eating his first slice of pizza, “I got you something else.”

“What now?” Neil groaned.

“Shut up,” Andrew rolled his eyes, “you'll like it.”

Neil was silent as Andrew pulled a small box out of one of the bags from the clothing stores. He noticed the same logo on the front of the box as the iPad that he'd all but stolen from Andrew.

“What is it?” Neil asked.

“It's an iPhone.” Andrew nodded, taking the top off of the box and thrusting the phone at Neil, “It's already activated under my plan and I programmed my number into it. It works mostly the same way at the iPad, just smaller and you can call and text.”

“Why?” Neil blinked, “And when?”

“I got it while you were locked in one of the changing rooms, the store was right across from the one we were in. I got it for you because I don't like not being able to stay in contact with you when I'm at work or out somewhere. I figure that since you've decided to stay that you should have a way to call me or anyone else if you need to.”

Neil looked down at the phone like it was covered in pure gold. He ran his finger longingly over the front screen and tried his best not to let his eyes begin to tear up. It felt like Andrew had given him yet another lifeline, something else to anchor him into one place. Into a home.

“Thank you.” Neil whispered.

“Just make sure to keep it charged.” Andrew warned.

They finished the rest of their meal in a comfortable silence and were all but ready to leave the mall when a rather loud voice boomed from behind them.

“Doe!” The loud voice of a woman came from their backs, “I knew it was you!”

“Shit.” Andrew sighed as he turned around.

Neil followed his lead and immediately came face to neck with a towering blonde woman. The surprise of the sudden closeness startled him and he jumped backwards in fear, his hand shooting out towards Andrew's belt loop out of pure instinct and pulling close into him.

Andrew didn't say anything about Neil hand, instead turning his attention to the blonde woman, “What do you want, Reynolds?”

“Can't I just say hi?” The woman, Reynolds, rolled her eyes, “Who is this?”

Neil realized that Reynolds was pointing at him but his throat had suddenly become too dry for him to speak properly, “N...Neil.” He croaked.

“Neil, huh?” Reynolds smiled, crossing her arms over his chest, “Doe, is this the secret boyfriend Hemmick won't stop telling everyone you have?”

Neil let out a gasp, “Boyfriend?”

Andrew glanced at him out of the corner of his eye before looking back at the woman, “We're leaving. See you on Monday, Reynolds.”

“You just won me like, $100.” Reynolds called out as they walked away.

“Does it bother you?” Andrew asked when they were about halfway to the car.

“That she thought I was you...boyfriend?” Neil stumbled over the last word.

“That I would have a boyfriend in general.” Andrew said as they reached the trunk of his car and deposited their bags.

“Oh.” Neil said, noticing the tense lines that had once again returned to Andrew's body, “No. Not really. I don't care about stuff like that.”

And he didn't, for the most part, aside from the time when the doctor beat the living shit out of him because he thought another boy’s eyes were pretty. But that was a long time ago.

“Good.” Andrew said as he lowered himself into the driver’s seat and started the car.

Neil let the drive go on in silence until they were nearly back at the apartment, “Why would she think I was your boyfriend?”

Andrew let out a low groan, “Hemmick is my cousin, Nicky. He heard you talking in the apartment one morning when he called me a few weeks ago and he's been running with it ever since. I hoped getting his ass kicked by those Unkindness guys would have knocked some sense into him but he hasn't shut the fuck up about it.”

“Oh..” Neil sighed, “I'm sorry.”

“Don't be.” Andrew shrugged, “He can think whatever he wants.”

Neil could have sworn he saw a fleeting smile on Andrew's mouth as they turned into the parking garage but the darkness of the structure made it too hard to tell for sure.

 

<O>

 

A few hours after getting back from the mall Neil had changed back into his sweatpants and his stolen sweater. He'd yet to unpack any of his shopping bags and instead left them in a pile on his bed, too overwhelmed to even think about putting them away in his room. He had been sitting on the couch messing around with his new phone for the last 15 minutes or so while Andrew was in the shower when the doorbell rang. He tensed for a second before remembering that Andrew had ordered them food and left the money on the table next to the door in case the delivery person came while he was in the shower.

Neil was fairly confident he could handle such a small transaction so he walked to the door and checked the peep hole and saw nothing but the smiling face of an older guy around Andrew's age with darker skin and even darker hair. He didn't look too threatening aide from what looked like a fading bruise on the side of his face so Neil decided to open the door.

“Oh. My. God.” The delivery person said, or rather, squeaked.

“Um, hi?” Neil mumbled, “How much do we owe you?”

“I'm going to die, oh my god. Boyd is going to lose his shit. Look how cute you are, oh my god!” The deliver man kept squeaking.

Neil felt his entire body go rigid as the man took another step forward and into the apartment.

“That sweater!” The delivery man yelped, “No fucking way.”

The delivery man took yet another step forward, this time entirely too much into Neil's personal space, and reached out a hand towards him. Neil's self control snapped and he grasped the delivery man’s wrist, squeezing hard enough to elicit a pained yelp, and swung him into the counter by the arm.

“What the hell?” The man gasped as he hit the side of the counter and fell to the floor.

Neil's eyes went cold as he began to calculate the best way to take the intruder out. He was close enough to the kitchen that he was relatively sure he could slip around the intruder and grab a knife, which would end things quickly. The man took another step forward and Neil lashed out with a kick to his stomach which sent the man tumbling into an end table next to the smaller love seat, knocking it to the ground with a deceptively loud crash.

“Neil!” Andrew yelled from his bedroom, “What the hell?”

“Andrew!” Neil gasped, “There's...there's someone in here.”

The door to Andrew's room flew open and he stepped out into the hallway in nothing but a towel that hung precariously low on his hips. He held his gun out in front of him and trained it on the intruder lying on the ground, he flipped the man over with his foot and let out a low sigh as he took in the man’s face.

“What the hell happened?” Andrew sighed.

“I...I thought he was the delivery guy so I opened the door,” Neil frowned, “And then he walked into the apartment and I froze until he...tried to touch me and then I kinda just...” Neil trailed off and swept his hand dramatically across the destruction of the apartment.

“I didn't know you were dating the terminator...Andrew.” The intruder groaned from his spot on the ground.

“Get the fuck up you dumb ass.” Andrew shook his head, “Neil, meet my cousin, Nicky Hemmick.”

“Oh my god.” Neil whispered. He almost killed Andrew's cousin.

Nicky stayed in his spot on the ground while Andrew made his way back down the hall.

“I'm going to put some clothes on.” Andrew shook his head, “Neil, only kill him if you absolutely have to, I'm really not in the mood to clean up any more blood.”

 

 

 

 

 

 


	14. Life Of The Party

 

XIV

Life Of The Party

 

A heavy weight settled itself onto Andrew's shoulders as he shut the door to his bedroom behind him and let his towel fall to the ground. The last thing he had expected to deal with tonight was Nicky, let alone his big mouth cousin who still didn't comprehend personal boundaries getting his ass kicked by Neil. The wave of panic that swept across Andrew when he heard the scuffle coming from the living room was indescribable, he was certain that he was going to walk out to find Neil dead or at least nearly dead and bleeding on the floor. Of all the options his mind presented him, at least the reality wasn't as bad. At least until Nicky started talking. That made two people in less than ten hours who had told Neil that they thought he was Andrew’s boyfriend. He couldn't stop wondering what the hell Neil must be thinking. Hell, Neil had only just learned that Andrew was gay and then told him in a roundabout way that he's never really been attracted to anyone, or rather, been allowed to be attracted to anyone. None of which he should be thinking about when he was standing in his room naked and there was a tense psychic ninja standing in the living room with his cousin, who always took just a little bit long to realize how much he was.

Andrew threw on a ratty pair of clothes and made his way back into the hall and as if on cue he heard another loud slam accompanied by another pained yelp from Nicky.

“What...the hell?” Nicky gasped as Andrew rounded the corner.

Andrew paused, crossing his arms over his chest, and took in the sight in front of him. Neil had Nicky pinned against the wall from behind with one of his own arms braced across Nicky’s back to lock him in place while his free hand had a grip on Nicky's right wrist. Andrew could tell even from his place a few feet away that Neil could break Nicky's wrist with the slightest of movements. He was more than impressed and shockingly didn't feel like jumping to Nicky's immediate defense.

“What happened now?” Andrew sighed, leaning against the kitchen counter.

“He tried to grab me again.” Neil sighed, his voice low and bored in a way that made Andrew want to laugh.

“I...I didn't try to grab him!” Nicky gasped, “I tried to shake his hand and tell him I was sorry!”

Andrew pushed himself off of the counter and waked across the room to stand near Neil and Nicky, “I think he's learned his lesson.”

Neil's eyes flicked between Andrew and Nicky before he let go of Nicky's arm and moved quickly across the room to stand behind Andrew.

“What the hell?” Nicky gasped, rubbing the length of his arm and wincing, “He's got some serious anger management issues.”

“No,” Neil corrected him, “I have some serious “I don't like to be touched by strange people I don't know” issues.”

Andrew let out a small laugh when he saw the scowl settle into Nicky's face, “Apologize, dumb ass. And don't try to touch him again.”

Nicky replaced the scowl with a frown and turned to Neil, “I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to freak you out either time.”

Neil seemed to have calmed down a bit but was still on edge, “Just don't do it again.”

Nicky nodded and Andrew reached a comforting hand out to Neil but he only shook his head and pushed the hand away, “I'll be in my room for a little while.”

Andrew only nodded and watched Neil disappear down the hallway in that terrible orange sweater.

“Christ, Andrew,” Nicky whispered as he heard the door shut, “Your boyfriend is intense.”

“He's not my-” Andrew was cut off by Nicky.

“Wait, why is your boyfriend sleeping in a different room than you?”

“Because, for the thousandth time, he's not my boyfriend.” Andrew sighed.

“Really?” Nicky raised his eyebrow, “Because the way Reynolds said he was hanging all over you at the mall and the fact that you didn't kill him for almost breaking my arm say differently. Also, he's totally wearing your sweater; he's got your name on his back!”

“Reynolds needs to keep her damn mouth shut!” Andrew snapped, “And you too! I'm sick of everyone knowing my business.”

“If he's not your boyfriend then why are you getting so defensive?” Nicky prodded.

“He's just a friend,” Andrew sighed, “He's been through some rough stuff and I let him move in with me. He's not that good around people and as you've seen he really doesn't like it when people get in his personal space.”

“Still,” Nicky mumbled, rubbing his arm again, “doesn't mean he has to try and kill me.”

Andrew rolled his eyes. Having actually seen Neil kill someone what he'd just seen him do to Nicky was nothing, “Just apologize to him when he comes out and don't do it again.”

“Wait, you're letting me stay?” Nicky looked so excited he almost started to jump in place.

“Never mind,” Andrew groaned, “get the fuck out.”

The doorbell rang and Andrew figured it was the actual delivery man this time so he left Nicky to deal with him and made his way to Neil's door, tapping on it softly a few times before he heard the lock release and the door opened slowly. Neil must have opened the door and then immediately ran back to his bed because when Andrew entered the room he found Neil pressed against the wall with his knees to his chest.

“You good?” Andrew asked.

“I overreacted.” Neil sighed

“Don't be too hard on yourself,” Andrew said, “you had no way of knowing who he was.”

“Oh,” Neil said, looking up at him, “I don't care about the first time; I'd kick his ass again. But...the second time, I shouldn't have pinned him against the wall. I knew he wasn't going to hurt me...I just freaked out.”

“It's been a long day.” Andrew shrugged, “Besides, sometimes Nicky does need a little help remembering his boundaries.”

“You're not mad?” Neil asked, “I know you said how protective you are of your family...”

“Don't worry about it,” Andrew waved a hand in the air, “I might have been a bit annoyed if you actually did break his arm, but as far as I'm concerned everyone is even.”

“OK.” Neil laughed.

“You want to join us for dinner?” Andrew asked, “Nicky's gonna stay for a bit, if you'd rather him not I can ask him to leave or just bring you a plate in here?”

“No,” Neil shook his head, “Just give me a minute to change and I'll come back out there.”

Andrew nodded and left the room, closing the door behind him. He purposely ignored Nicky's whispered “boyfriend” when he got back into the kitchen.

 

<O>

 

NEIL took his time getting dressed. He sifted through all the clothing he'd gotten earlier in the day and settled on a pale green shirt, a pair of dark jeans that Andrew had all but held him at gunpoint to get, and a black pair of the brand new armbands that fit him perfectly. He looked down at his body and felt as if he was looking at someone else. The soft feeling of the new shirt against his chest sent a shiver down his spine. It had been so, so fucking long since he'd worn something that was _new_ he almost didn't know how to process it.

Neil chewed on his lip for a second before sliding the doors of the closet open with his eyes closed. When he opened them he was faced with his own reflection. Andrew had moved the mirror from the back of the door into the closet where it was now hidden behind the clothes he'd borrowed from Andrew. He took in the sight of himself and let a begrudging smile cross his face. He wouldn't say that he looked good, mostly because he really had no concept of what good looked like on him, but he couldn't deny that Andrew was right when he said the pale green of the shirt would work well with his eyes and his auburn hair. He still couldn't quite figure out why Andrew had insisted on the jeans, they seemed to be a bit tighter than he thought they were, and they left little to the imagination when he turned and looked at himself from a side view. He was almost embarrassed at how much his ass stood out beneath the fabric, so much so he almost took the jeans off and replaced them with a pair of sweats. He stopped that thought though after deciding that he wanted Andrew to see him in the new clothes.

The black armbands that stretched up the length of both of his arms before disappearing into his sleeves were almost like a lifeline with the way they hid his scars. It wasn't that he was really ashamed of them or cared about how he looked; it was more about the way people looked at him, the questions that scars inevitably raised. On a normal day people wouldn't look at him twice but with his arms showing the two long lines running up on both of them? Well, that invites second glances, murmured questions, and eyes that linger just a little too long. The less time people spent looking at him the better.

This made it odd at first when the idea of Andrew seeing his scars produced such an intense reaction out of him. The first morning when Andrew had seen the wings carved into his back he was ready to cut and run in an instant. He felt such a sense of shame when Andrew saw them, something he never felt before. He couldn't pinpoint why letting Andrew see him like that affected him so much. At first it seemed like it was just that he was showing the other man a weakness that he could exploit, letting him see exactly how far he'd let someone go with him, letting him know how much further he would have to push if he wanted to break him. But over time it evolved. It started slowly, especially after Andrew had shared his scars and his stories, and now the idea of letting Andrew see the marks on his body wasn't a strange and terrifying concept. In fact, it was something he was considering sharing even more of. But not tonight, not when Nicky was here.

Neil shut the closet door with an indignant huff and ran a hand through his hair, not entirely sure if he was helping or hurting the state of it, before he let himself back into the hallway. Nicky caught sight of him first and let out a low wolf whistle that made Neil shiver.

“Wow,” Nicky chirped, “he cleans up well.”

“What're you talking abo-” Andrew cut himself off as he turned and took in the sight of Neil standing there in his new clothes.

Neil shifted under the weight of Andrew's gaze and fought desperately against the burning sensation that was rising on his cheeks, “Well?”

“You look...” Andrew trailed off, coughing a little bit to add some gravel to his voice, “you look good.”

“Not boyfriend.” Nicky mumbled, not quite as under his breath as he might have hoped due to his wince when he caught Andrew's murderous glare.

“Food just got here,” Andrew said, sweeping an arm towards the kitchen, “I kept Nicky away from the Orange Chicken and egg rolls.”

Neil let out a small laugh and shouldered his way around both of the men, pulling a plate from the counter and loading it with food. He returned to the table and sat at one end across from Andrew which left Nicky in the middle of them. They ate in silence for a few minutes before Nicky spoke.

“So,” Nicky mused, “how long have you been in LA?”

Neil tensed, just for a moment, before he replied, “About three months now.”

“Three months?” Nicky nodded, “How long have you known Andrew?”

“Uh,” Neil mumbled, “I think it's been about a month now?”

“A month and you're already living together? I thought I moved fast when I was ready to move into Erik's place after three!” Nicky laughed.

“Erik?” Neil asked, trying to change the subject, “Is that the Erik that Andrew always rants about?”

“Traitor.” Andrew mumbled, shoving an egg roll into his mouth.

Neil lowered his head towards the table before catching Andrew's eye and giving him a sly smile.

“Erik,” Nicky hummed, “the love of my life, fire of my loins.”

Neil bit back a surprised cough, trying to cover up his reaction with a fork full of white rice, “How is he? I was here when Andrew got the call about the two of you getting hurt.”

“I knew that was you on the other end of the line!” Nicky grinned, “He's good. They finally released him back to work, starting Monday; he's been antsy without any bodies to cut into. Now, stop trying to distract me with questions about my love life and answer more of my questions.”

Busted, dammit. Neil realized he may have severely underestimated one Mr. Nicholas Hemmick.

“Nicky,” Andrew snapped, “stop profiling my friends.”

“Profiling?” Neil asked.

“Andrew didn't tell you?” Nicky smiled, “I'm a criminal profiler. It's my job to get under peoples skin and find out what makes them tick.”

Neil tensed again, something he was sure Nicky caught this time, he didn't know he was sitting across from someone who's literal job it was to find out who the fuck people actually were, “Huh,” Neil huffed, trying to change the tone of the conversation, “You'd think a profiler would be able to read people better, especially when they say they don't want to be touched.”

Neil didn't miss Andrew's seemingly proud smile.

“In my defense,” Nicky held up his fork, flicking rice across the table, “I wasn't in work mode!”

“Are you in work mode now?” Neil asked, narrowing his eyes.

“No.” Nicky shook his head, “I'm not trying to pick you apart, Neil. I'm just trying to get to know you. It's been so long since I've seen Andrew have an actual bo... _friend_ that I'm just trying to make conversation.”

“Oh.” Neil whispered, realizing that maybe he had overreacted. Andrew wouldn't put him in a situation with someone who wanted to hurt him or expose him. “I'm sorry, Nicky. About everything earlier.”

Both Andrew and Nicky did a double take, neither of them expecting Neil to sound so earnest.

“Andrew has been really good to me,” Neil continued, “I've been having a rough time, hell, a rough life and Andrew has really helped me. If you're his family and he trusts you then I shouldn't have freaked out like that.”

“Oh, Neil, no...” Nicky trailed off, “I'm sorry, I really shouldn't have just launched into you like that. You were right; sometimes I don't really read the room. It's hard for me to stop and think sometimes that not everyone is as...bubbly as I am.”

Neil looked back at Andrew who was sitting almost slack jawed with his eyes bouncing between the two of them.

“I think I need some air.” Neil said, getting up from the table and making his way to the balcony. He leaned across the railing and looked down at the street below.

He hadn't expected to come out of this dinner feeling bad that he hurt Nicky because Nicky shouldn't have tried to touch him. He shouldn't feel bad for thinking Nicky had ulterior motives other than trying to get to know him, because almost everyone always had ulterior motives. But here he stood, with his head hanging 70 stories above ground, feeling like an asshole.

Neil tensed as he heard the door behind him open, “Drew,” Neil mumbled, not really thinking, “I kinda just want to be alone right now.”

“Drew?” The voice said, Nicky's voice, “God, last time I heard someone call him that he almost broke their neck.”

“Oh,” Neil said, embarrassed, “I thought you would be Andrew.”

“No such luck,” Nicky shrugged, “Sorry though, I'll leave you alone.”

Neil hesitated, watching Nicky reach for the door to open it, “No, it's fine. You can stay.”

“You sure?” Nicky asked with half his foot inside the apartment.

“Yes.” Neil sighed, “I wouldn't have said yes if I didn't mean it.”

Nicky let out a laugh and made his way over to the railing, sitting a glass of white wine on top of it, and still keeping a good distance between himself and Neil, “I think Andrew is rubbing off on you.”

“I meant it when I said I was sorry,” Neil clarified, “In case you think I was just bullshitting you.”

“Something tells me that you're not much of a bullshitter, Neil” Nicky laughed.

“Point.” Neil shrugged.

Neil looked back into the apartment and saw Andrew watching them, probably waiting to see if Neil was going to push Nicky over the balcony, he raised an eyebrow in question and Neil shook his head and waved him away in a silent promise that he wouldn't actually kill his cousin.

“This might be weird to say,” Nicky started, “but I'm going to say it away.”

“I'd expect nothing less.” Neil smiled.

“I don't know much about you but I know Andrew, I've known him my entire life and I know how he is around people. I've never seen him this relaxed. Hell, I've been in his apartment for almost two hours and he hasn't physically removed me.” Nicky laughed, “What I'm trying to say is that you and...whatever this whole thing between you is...are good for him.”

“I...” Neil trailed off, not entirely sure how to respond.

“I'm not sure how much you know about his life as a kid-” Nicky said.

“He's told me a lot,” Neil cut him off, “about his mother, his emancipation.”

“OK, then that makes this easier,” Nicky smiled. “I'm a few years older then him and my parents kicked me out when I was 18, they really couldn't stand the whole gay thing, I moved in with Andrew after that and we kinda just stuck together until he graduated high school and then somehow convinced me to go to college with him on an athletic scholarship, I was there when he found out about Aaron...so when I say that I know my cousin and how he acts, I mean it.”

“I don't really get why you're telling me this?” Neil confessed. He had to admit that it was a bit awkward to hear Nicky spill all these delicate words, especially after just meeting him, and something told him that Andrew wouldn't be too pleased about this conversation as a whole. Especially when it came to the mention of his brother.

“I don't either,” Nicky shrugged, “maybe because I know him and I know that he would never actually tell you this stuff himself. You seem like a good person, a bit prickly maybe, but a good person.”

“No one has ever told me that before.” Neil said, almost unconsciously.

“Really?” Nicky looked at him with wide eyes.

“Yeah,” Neil bit his lip, “Listen, I don't really like to talk about my life with people.”

“It's OK,” Nicky smiled, “I'm not asking you to.”

“OK.” Neil mumbled.

“So,” Nicky hummed, taking a sip of his wine, “How long are you sticking around?”

“What?” Neil asked, his eyes going a little wider, “Why?”

“Just curious.” Nicky shrugged.

Neil relaxed a little and looked back out over the city, “Oh, um, Andrew said I could stay as long as I wanted to...I guess until he decides to get rid of me?”

“Well, in that case,” Nicky laughed, “since you'll be here forever I guess I'll just have to make sure we become friends!”

“What?” Neil coughed. Friendship was such a foreign concept to him.

“Friends,” Nicky smiled, “as in, talk to each other about bullshit, hang out and watch dumb movies together, complain about your day with friends.”

“I've never really had friends either.” Neil laughed, it all sounded so pathetic.

“Well then I guess you're stuck with me.” Nicky smiled, “Hand me your phone.”

Neil looked at him for a second with a raised eyebrow before he reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone and handed it to Nicky.

“Only one contact?” Nicky mumbled, probably to himself which didn't matter because Neil wouldn't have answered anyway, “Andrew is the worst at texting.”

Nicky handed the phone back after a few seconds Neil looked down at it and underneath Andrew's name in his contact list was a new one, Nicky Hemmick with three cartoon hearts next to it.

“Put yours in mine!” Nicky grinned, handing his phone towards Neil.

“Oh,” Neil blushed, “I don't even know my number, I just got this today.”

Nicky looked at him with an odd smile for a minute before plucking the phone out of his hand and tapping on the screen. A few seconds later Nicky's phone pinged with a notification. Neil grabbed his own phone back and looked down at the screen that was open to text messages, Nicky had sent himself a text from Neil's phone.

 

_**Hi new friend!!!!!!!!!!!!!** _

 

“Now I've got your number,” Nicky laughed, “there's no turning back now.”

Neil considered the man in front of him for a few seconds before letting out a breath of air out of his lungs, “If you bother me too much just remember that I can break your arm without thinking about it.”

“Yeah,” Nicky hummed, “too much time with Andrew.”

Neil smiled again and this time it wasn't even in spite of himself.

 

<O>

 

ANDREW drummed the counter with nervous fingers as he watched Neil and Nicky through the large glass doors on the opposite side of the balcony. He wasn't entirely sure what he was more nervous of, Neil throwing Nicky over the side of the building or Nicky digging up a little bit too much on Neil. Nobody really expected Nicky to be such a master of learning people’s secrets. It's what made him such a damn good profiler, but he knew that Neil had already picked up on it. Nicky had promised he had no other intentions when it came to talking to Neil outside and Andrew just had to do his best to trust that both of the most frustrating people in his life would walk back through the door intact. This is why he was more than just a little surprised when he saw Neil smile, give Nicky that dumb confused face of his, and then hand over his phone.

Nicky entered the apartment first, winking at Andrew as he walked towards the kitchen to pour himself another glass of wine and Neil followed after him a few seconds later.

“Everyone still have their fingers and toes?” Andrew asked in a hushed whisper.

Neil looked at him for a few seconds, blinking his stupid too big and too blue eyes, and then smiled, “I think Nicky's my friend?”

“You think?” Andrew laughed.

“He doesn't think,” Nicky chirped, tossing back another glass of wine, “I am.”

Andrew's eyes drifted between the two men and he settled when he saw Neil roll his eyes at Nicky and wave him away, “Good,” Andrew shook his head, “maybe he'll stop hounding me to do things now.”

The rest of the evening was spent with Nicky being positively annoying. Or, at least, what Andrew would normally have called positively annoying if it didn't seem like Neil was actually enjoying his cousin’s antics. Neil's phone would occasionally chime in with a text notification which could have only come from one person seeing as how Andrew wasn't the one texting him. Any time Neil would check the message his face would flush slightly and he would cover his mouth to try and hide a chuckle. Nicky would sit on the other side of the room with a proud smile on his face. It got to a point where Andrew had to find out what was going on so at the next available opportunity he plucked Neil's phone from him and opened it, making a note to teach the guy how to put a passcode lock on it for future moments like this, and found a thread of texts from Nicky that contained nothing but pictures of Andrew taken at points of the evening when he wasn't aware.

“Out!” Andrew growled, thrusting a finger at Nicky, “Now.”

“Uber is...already on the way.” Nicky hummed, he was more than lightly intoxicated, “I was just about to show you this article about Aaron though!”

Andrew recoiled at the thought, the last thing he wanted to deal with tonight was talk of his brother.

“Nicky...” Andrew warned.

“Andrew!” Nicky protested, “Look! Aaron was just made the youngest chief of pediatric surgery ever in the history of San Diego General!”

“That's nice.” Andrew growled as he looked towards Neil who only shrugged.

“San Diego General,” Nicky cleared his throat as he read from his phone, “is proud to announce that Doctor Aaron Sp-”

“Enough!” Andrew boomed.

Nicky froze and dropped his phone into his lap.

“You,” Andrew turned his gaze towards Neil, softening it a bit, “delete those pictures.”

“Uh,” Neil pondered it for a second before snatching his phone back, “no.”

Nicky let out a howl of laughter and pushed himself off of the couch, landing on his knees, and then rolling onto his back to continue on in his hysterics. Again, that wave of anger he had for Nicky just a few seconds before was replaced by that dumb feeling in his chest when he looked over to find Neil laughing and recording a video of Nicky on his phone. He couldn't pinpoint what was going on in that damn apartment at the moment but it was something that felt warm and comfortable and in stark difference from the tension of the previous moment.

 

<O>

 

ANDREW found Neil curled into his usual ball on the couch after he returned from escorting Nicky's less than sober person down to his Uber. Andrew fell into his usual spot on the couch near Neil, close but not too close.

“He's not so bad,” Neil mused, looking up at Andrew out of the corner of his eye, “once you get past the lack of boundaries and general loudness.”

Andrew looked down at Neil on his side, blinking up at him through his lashes and from behind curly bangs of that damn auburn hair, and it took every ounce of strength he had not to card his fingers through it, “Can you actually tolerate him or were you just playing along?”

Neil let out a soft groan as he stretched out on his side before sitting up, “I like him. He's nice and I know I can take him in a fight if I have to.”

“Pretty low standards you have for friends.” Andrew huffed,

“Right,” Neil grinned, “must be why I've stuck around you for so long.”

Andrew was almost struck speechless at Neil's playful grin and words but quickly shook it off, “You've already been spending too much time with Nicky.”

Neil laughed and stood up from the couch, “Funny, he said the same thing to me about you.”

Andrew tracked Neil through the room as he went to double check the locks on the door and began to turn out the lights, he was struck at the familiarity of it all and how it had become like second nature for Neil to make sure that the apartment was secure before he went to bed. Maybe he actually would stick around for a long time?

“You staying up or do you want me to turn off everything?” Neil asked.

Andrew looked at him for a second before standing from the couch and flicking off the light of the side table, “After Nicky I'm pretty sure I could sleep for the next decade.”

Neil laughed and lingered at the edge of the hallway while waiting for Andrew. It had become a sort of routine for him to follow behind Andrew and watch him disappear into his room before Neil would go into his. He didn't begrudge it if it helped Neil sleep better. However, tonight was different.

Andrew intended to drop Neil off at the door to his room and keep walking as he normally would but Neil stopped him with a light finger that brushed against his arm. It sent an immediate chill up Andrew's spine and rooted him firmly in place.

“I just wanted to say thank you again,” Neil said softly, “for everything today. I...it just means at lot to me.”

“Don't mention it,” Andrew said, “I'm glad you're starting to feel more comfortable.”

“I am,” Neil smiled, “these clothes, the armbands, the phone, you. It all feels like something I never thought I could have.”

“What's that?” Andrew asked before he could stop himself.

“Somewhere I belonged.” Neil whispered.

Andrew's breath hitched as Neil took another step forward.

“I've never done this before so I don't know if I'm going to do it right or if I even have to ask...god this is so embarrassing.” Neil whispered.

Andrew's entire body tensed, his mouth almost going dry, “What?”

Neil took another step forward, coming dangerously close to falling into Andrew's orbit, “Can I...”

“Can you what?” Andrew whispered.

“Can I,” Neil's eyes looked everywhere but Andrew as he blushed, “Can I hug you?”

Andrew wasn't entirely sure if he was disappointed or relieved at that question. It certainly was not the one he was expecting. “Yes.”

Neil nodded and hesitantly stepped as close as he possibly could towards Andrew and wrapped his hands around Andrew's body. Andrew was slightly surprised at the force behind the hug, Neil seemed to be clinging onto his as if he was about to float away. He hesitated for a moment before wrapping his arms around Neil as slowly as he could, he wasn't sure how much physical contact Neil could take in that moment.

The height difference meant that Andrew was cradled somewhere between Neil's chin and sternum and each time Neil pulled him in even closer he couldn't help but nuzzled more and more into Neil's neck. He could feel the warm flow of Neil's breath on the top of his head and ear and his arms were starting to numb but it was a moment he wasn't in any rush to end.

The hug seemed to last for days, neither man willing to let the other one go, and Andrew felt his legs begin to tremble. He looked up at Neil and found those terrifyingly blue eyes on him and speaking a thousand words. Neil's face lowered a bit towards Andrew and he felt something deep within him coil. Before he knew it he was pushing himself up on his toes to bridge the gap between their faces and soon their foreheads were pressed together, their noses brushing against each other with every inhale and exhale.

They were so fucking close, close to something that Andrew had thought about more than once over the last few weeks, close to something that would feel so amazing, close to something that neither of them could come back from. Neil leaned in even more as his grip on Andrew tightened. This, whatever this fucking was, was so close to becoming a reality.

Then Andrew's phone rang.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know you're all going to yell at me for that terrible, cliche, cliffhanger but in my defense it was either this cliffhanger or another one and this one is the far nicer of the two!
> 
> the more and more i write andrew the more and more ooc he gets lol im trying my best to keep him kinda similar but i also love my lil soft fbi agent andrew who just wants to pick neil up and kiss him so


	15. She

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright so officially im going to try and keep myself on a wednesday and saturday update schedule. 
> 
> without further ado, PLOT: The Chapter

 

 

 

 

XV

She

 

HE ran his fingers across the jagged number etched into his cheek, the frail and broken things following the path of the number three that was carved there on a day when the King was particularly angry. The King had been growing more and more angry as the days went on and not even the return of his most prized possession seemed to calm him, not when there was still someone around on the outside who got to him so much. No, the King probably wouldn't sleep until that man was dead, and until then he would continue to make everyone's lives a living hell. It seemed that not even the Director could stop him at this point, not that the Director really cared as long as he could continue with his experiments and still made his money.

The door beside him swung open with excessive force and he turned to see the silhouette of the King outlined by the shining red light behind him, “You have a job to do for me.”

“Do I?” He asked, he'd long since grown tired of the King and had his days where he let his feigned respect slip. Today that earned him a back hand to the face. The King lashed out at him, making contact with his cheek, and he winced as he felt one of the large rings the King wore dig into his skin.

“You do,” the King snarled, “though I might need to teach you a lesson first.”

“No sir, I'm sorry.” He said, giving his best attempt at making his accented voice sound sincere.

“I don't think you are,” the King said, his eyes narrowing, “I suppose I could make you cooperate against your will.”

He stilled for a second, there was almost nothing worse than the feeling of losing control of his body due to the interference of the King. He would take a beating over that any day.

“No sir,” His voice cracked a little, “What do you want me to do?”

The king looked at him for a moment before a small smile crept over his face, apparently he was pleased with himself, “You're going to San Diego. There will be a problem there and you will deal with it. Take our little spark plug with you too. And the hothead, just for good measure.”

Dammit. The poor girl had already been pushed to her limits lately, she had barely had enough time to recover from the abuse of her gifts over the last month and he didn't know if she would even be able to do what the King wanted her to do.

“Yes sir.” He said, he would worry about the girl later when they were alone.

“I'm arranging something that I think will draw all of our players to the same place. We will finally have all the pieces on the board and it will be your job to take them out. I've already gotten a group of Unkindness together for you, take them, the girl, the fire bug, and leave. Your target is the FBI agent but if you have the chance to clip the little birds wings then take it, I'll deal with the Director later.”

“Yes sir,” He said, “I will get it done.”

“You better,” the King growled, “You won't like what happens if you fail.”

He nodded before giving the King a small bow and turned to leave the room.

“I suspect number two will like it even less than you, should you fail.” he turned to find the King leaning against the wall, scraping the blood under his nails out with a small knife, “Remember what is at stake, it won't be you that I'm hurting should you fail.”

He walked down the hall, jumping only slightly as the large door behind him closed. He ran his hands along the smooth surface of the walls and stopped in front of the metal door with a 2 etched into it. He looked over his shoulder to make sure no one was watching and tapped out a familiar melody onto the metal surface.

“Be...safe.” A hoarse voice said from behind the door.

He didn't have it in him to reply, he knew his voice would betray him and broadcast his fear. Instead, he turned from the door and went to collect the girl and the burning boy. He wouldn't let them fail, not with what was at stake now.

 

<O>

 

NEIL'S entire body was vibrating. He still wasn't entirely sure what the fuck he was actually doing, all he knew was that the feeling of Andrew's body pressed against his was like nothing he had ever felt before. The feeling of his arms wrapped around Andrew's waist grounded him and kept him from floating away with the pure adrenaline of the moment. He almost lost it completely when he felt Andrew's breath on his neck.

The moment was something he'd been thinking about since earlier in the evening after Nicky had spent a good half an hour talking about how much he loved Erik Klose. As Neil listened to Nicky describe the man in vivid detail, talking about all the things he noticed about him and all the things that made him smile it unlocked something inside of him. He started to go through the catalog he had on Andrew that was tucked away in the back of his head and something hit him like a bolt of lightening. He realized in one quick moment that the reason he felt so comfortable with Andrew, the reason that he trusted the other man with his life, was because he felt something real for him. He wouldn't call it love, because really he had no idea what love was, but it was something he'd never felt for another person before.

Neil listened, enraptured in Nicky's voice, as he talked about the first time he ever kissed Erik. He listened to the other man explain the butterflies, the nerves, the excitement, the _electricity_. And he knew in that moment that he wanted to feel that with Andrew. He just had no idea the opportunity would present itself just an hour or so later.

So there they stood, in each others arms, their foreheads pressed together and their noses brushing against each other with every breath. Andrew pushed himself upwards towards Neil and he almost lost his nerve. He hadn't expected Andrew to react this way, he had no idea that there was a possibility that Andrew would feel the same way about him but there the other man was, pushing himself upwards with his lips parted and something dangerously inviting in his eyes.

Neil had only ever seen a kiss on the television screen and he was terrified of making sure that this moment would be perfect. If this was happening, really fucking happening, and it was with _Andrew_ then he needed it to be perfect. Which, of course, meant that the phone would ring right before anything happened.

The shrill alarm broke out into the silence of the room as their mouths were only a few moments away from each other. Neil silently hoped that Andrew would ignore the sound but he'd been around enough to know that the tone that was coming from the other mans pocket was one reserved for his boss, the one who only called in case of an actual emergency.

“Fuck.” Andrew whispered, their mouths still close together. Neil could taste the word.

Neil let go of Andrew's waist, shoving his trembling hands into his pockets as he took a step backwards into his room, “It's fine...answer it.”

Andrew blinked a few times before sliding his phone out, “What the-Wymack, what the fuck? What happened?”

Neil felt his shoulders go rigid, of course this would happen when he decided to stop playing scared and try to live his life. Andrew looked back at him with sadness in his eyes and Neil smiled, shaking his head and waving him away, “It's fine.” He whispered.

Maybe it was for the best, Neil thought, maybe the universe knew that whatever was about to happen shouldn't and it stepped in to intervene. In any case it gave him time to think about what exactly it was that he wanted. Did he want to just kiss Andrew for the sake of doing it? Did he want more? Did he even know what more meant? Would Andrew even want more? OK, maybe thinking could wait until later after all.

Neil turned his attention to the bags of clothes that still sat on the floor next to his bed. Except for the ones he had on everything from the shopping trip earlier was still packed away in the bags and now seemed as good of a time as any for him to put them away.

He separated the clothing out by category and placed the pairs of jeans into a few open drawers around the room and tried to open the closet to begin putting away the shirts but something was caught on the door. From what Neil could tell from his point on the ground there was a box on the top shelf that had become lodged along the upper track of the door, it had probably fallen into that position earlier in the evening after Neil closed the closet with a huff before joining dinner.

He gave the door a few tugs with the hope that it would move the box enough so that the closet could open fully. When that didn't work Neil closed the door and then tried opening it quickly a few seconds later. It moved the box and allowed the door to open but the box was not left with much solid ground beneath it and Neil jumped back in surprised as it fell from the top of the closet to his feet, barely managing to miss smashing into his toes.

Neil looked down at the box with curiosity in his eyes. The lid of the white box had something written atop it in sharpie, “ **The Butcher** ”. He picked it up and sat it on his bed before dropping into place next to it and looking at it further. He opened the top of the box slowly and let it drop to the floor as he turned his attention back to the contents inside. It was stacked to the brim with file folders labeled victims 1-7. He pulled the first file out with a shaking hand and opened it. When he saw the face in the picture that looked back at him he instantly felt the vomit rising in his throat. Looking back up at him from the page in his hands was a face he never thought he would see again.

The doctor.

 

<O>

 

WYMACK'S angry voice frantically snapped into Andrew's ear, “There's been another murder, The Butcher, probably.”

Andrew's entire body went rigid, those two words were enough to snap him out of whatever Neil induced haze he had been drawn into and he clutched the edge of the counter in an attempt to not let the world slip out from under his feet.

“Where?” Andrew asked, his voice ragged.

“I just got a call from the San Diego field office,” Wymack sighed, “they got the call about half an hour ago. Security found the scene in an abandoned building downtown.”

“I'm going.” Andrew barked, his words coming out before he could even think clearly.

“They already requested you,” Wymack said, “they want someone who knows the most about this case. I don't trust the rest of the team, not when we still don't know if one of them is dirty, and Walker is too busy with Reynolds so it's up to you.”

“I'll leave within the hour.” Andrew nodded.

“I'll text you the details for your hotel, you're on loan to them until they give you back or you magically catch this guy. They're a bit fucked up that The Butcher has traveled to their city.”

Andrew was a bit fucked up too, to be honest. This was the first time a Butcher body had been found anywhere outside of LA. “We sure this is him?” Andrew asked the obvious question.

“Everything fits,” Wymack said, “can't know for sure until we get eyes on it and their lab runs the tests thought I'm pretty sure you'll be able to tell once you see it.”

“Yeah.” Andrew said quietly.

“When you get there you'll be linked up with one of their agents, he's going to be your point person on this whole thing between our offices.” Wymack warned, “Play nice.”

Andrew didn't reply, instead he settled on hanging up on Wymack and dropping his phone to the counter. He began to pace the kitchen and fought to keep his shit together as he thought of the last 20 minutes or so. He'd gone from almost kissing Neil to finding out they had a new body and he had to leave the city for who the fuck knows how long. This was going to be a terrible conversation.

Andrew turned on his heel to make his way towards Neil's room but stopped just short of the hallway when he saw the shadowy outline of the other man. Neil took a step forward and Andrew immediately drew backwards, something was off.

“What the fuck is this?” Neil asked, his voice low and icy. Dangerous.

Neil took another step forward and held a file folder up in front of his face. Andrew's eyes went wide the second he read the writing on the front of the folder, Victim Number 1.

“Where did you get that?” Andrew asked.

“Answer my fucking question!” Neil spat, throwing the folder at Andrew, “Why do you have her picture?”

“Her?” Andrew asked, bending down to pick up the photo.

He recognized the face instantly, it was the face of the first victim of the Butcher, Mary Hatford. Andrew's mind began to spin as he recalled the details of the case. Mary was technically the butchers first victim but they didn't realize she was one of his kills until after the second body was found. She was the only one of the victims who didn't meet the MO. Her body had been cut to pieces but she died in a fire first and was cut apart postmortem, they only connected her to the butcher after the second body had been found and the system flagged the similarities in the blade used for the cutting. The rest of the victims, save for Mary and Kevin, had been cut apart perimortem and then arranged in an almost ceremonial way at the crime scene. The team had theorized that Mary was the first kill and she was only cut apart in an attempt to hide the body but then the killer had found that he liked the feeling of cutting a human into pieces so he adapted his methods. None of that explained how Neil knew who this woman was or why he was so fucking angry. At least, he didn't realize until he looked at the file in it's entirety.

**Mary Hatford. 40. Last known residence: Baltimore, MD. Missing or endangered since 1995. Year of death: 2010. Last known occupation: _Medical Doctor._**

“Holy fucking shit.” Andrew breathed.

Neil took another step forward, advancing dangerously close into Andrew's personal space, “You have two seconds to tell me what all of this is.”

“Neil...” Andrew trailed off, his body freezing so as not to make a wrong move and set Neil off.

“Is this all some kind of plan?” Neil yelled, “Are you with them? Am I that fucking stupid? How could I have let myself fall for...this...for everything.”

“Neil,” Andrew said softly, trying to keep his voice as calm as possible, “I can explain this all. I promise.”

Neil's head snapped towards him once more, “Then start.”

“Mary Hatford is the doctor, isn't she?” Andrew asked, needing the confirmation before he continued.

“No.” Neil said, then began to tug at his hair, “I mean, yes. I think. Maybe. I don't know! I don't know her name! She would never tell me!”

“Neil, will you please sit down with me?” Andrew asked, holding his arms in front of him in a show of good faith.

Neil didn't answer him but he made no moves to stop Andrew as he took a few steps to the side of him to sit down on the couch.

“You found that in a box in your closet, right?” Andrew asked.

“Yes.” Neil said, still pacing the room.

“That box has files on the case that I was looking into the night I met you. A serial killer, we call him The Butcher because of how he leaves the bodies.” Andrew said.

“So why was she in there?” Neil snapped, “I saw her die! I told you how she died!”

“I know,” Andrew nodded, “But we found her body here.”

“In LA?” Neil stopped pacing, “She died in Arizona.”

“The Butcher victims are all killed in different places and dumped here in the city. When he found her body we didn't connect it to a serial until after we got another one, the computer matched the types of blades that were used on the bodies.” Andrew nodded.

“Blades?” Neil asked, “She was burned alive.”

“When we found the body it was...dismembered.” Andrew couldn't stand to look Neil in the eyes as he told him, “Her body is the only one that was burned like that. The rest of them were killed during the dismemberment for the most part.”

“You didn't know?” Neil asked softly, “About me? About her? When you found me...when you let me stay with you?”

“God, no, Neil. No. I promise.” Andrew stood up and took a few steps towards Neil, relaxing when the other man didn't flinch away.

“I don't know what to think.” Neil whispered. Andrew saw a tear roll down his face that was illuminated by the moonlight.

“Do you trust me?” Andrew asked.

Neil looked at him for several long moments, blinking his big blue eyes, “Yes.”

“Can I hug you again? Yes or no?” Andrew asked.

“Yes.” Neil replied, almost immediately.

Andrew took a cautious step forward before wrapping his arms around Neil. This hug was entirely different than the one in the hallway. It was devoid of any lingering sexual tension and meant purely to help ground and comfort Neil. Andrew could see him teetering on a edge and thought it the only way to pull him back up.

Neil tensed for a few moments before collapsing into a Andrew's arms. His entire body went slack as he rested his weight against Andrew's chest and his body began to shake as wracked sobs poured out of his mouth. Andrew slowly lowered them both to the floor and held Neil in his arms, both of their bodies illuminated only by the moonlight streaming in through the giant windows, running his hand through the tangled curls of auburn hair as Neil trembled with sadness, fear, and confusion.

 

<O>

 

AFTER what seemed like an eternity Neil finally found his way back to earth with a stuttering breath. Andrew hadn't released his hold on him during the entire ordeal and it was something Neil was silently thankful for. At points it seemed like the only thing that was tethering him to this plane was a strong hand continuously riffling through his hair as he was held up with a broad shoulder.

“I'm good now,” Neil whispered, “I think.”

He was being honest. He didn't know if he was actually good or was just in the eye of the storm and riding out the calm until the winds picked up again. He had never expected to see her face again outside of dreams let alone be able to connect the woman who had saved his life, and ruined it to a degree, with a name. She was the doctor no longer; She was Mary Hatford. Every sharp word to his psyche, every harsh blow to his body, and every life saving moment was all Mary Hatford's doing.

“Can you stand?” Andrew asked.

Neil only nodded and pushed away from the other man slightly, reaching out towards the couch to use the soft arm to pull himself up and stretch out his locked limbs. Andrew let out a soft groan as he stood, stretching out his arms and what looked to be an aching back.

“This probably isn't the best time to tell you this,” Andrew let out a tense breath, “but I have to go down to San Diego. I should have left half an hour ago.”

“What?” Neil winced. Was Andrew running away from him?

“Talk about shitty timing,” Andrew sighed, “there's another body. They think it's The Butcher.”

Neil's entire being went still at the mention of that name. His head began to spin but he caught himself before he tumbled over into the abyss. “I'm going with you.”

“You can't.” Andrew shook his head, “You can't be involved in this.”

“I'm already involved, Andrew!” Neil spat, “I'm sorry.”

“It's fine.” Andrew sighed and ran a hand through his hair, “Look, there's something more going on here than either of us could have imagined.”

“It's all connected. Andrew.” Neil began pacing again, “Me. You. The Doc-Mary. The Unkindness. The Butcher. They all come back to each other.”

“Ouroboros.” Andrew said softly.

“A snake eating it's own tail.” Neil laughed, it was so fucking fitting.

Andrew looked at him for several seconds before letting out a low growl, “The Bureau is getting me a hotel room.”

“OK?” Neil raised an eyebrow.

“If you come with me,” Andrew said slowly, “you cannot leave it. I don't know how long they're going to keep me there.”

“OK.” Neil agreed instantly. It was either not leaving Andrew's apartment or not leaving Andrew's hotel room.

“God,” Andrew muttered, “I'm so going to federal prison.”

“I'd break you out.” Neil smiled.

“Go pack a damn bag.” Andrew waved him off and made towards his own room.

Neil smiled to himself. He was telling the truth. At this point he wagered there was almost nothing he _wouldn't_ do for Andrew.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come yell at me on tumblr about my terrible cliffhangers and about how its been 65k words and thee two idiots still havent kissed each other yet 
> 
> lscar123.tumblr.com/


	16. Players

 

 

 

 

XVI

Players

 

NEIL spread himself out in the back seat of Andrew's sleek black car. He had intended to ride shotgun as usual but the open box in his room caught his eye as he was packing and he ended up lugging it along with him down to the car. He intended to spend every second of this two hour car ride pouring through all the files that Andrew had on the murders.

“Holy shit.” Neil gasped as he opened the folder labeled **Victim Number 4**.

“What?” Andrew asked, looking back towards Neil.

“Eyes on the road,” Neil snapped.

“What did you find?” Andrew asked again, this time with his eyes looking out to the white lines in front of them.

“I've seen victim number four before,” Neil said with a tense edge to his voice, “down there.”

“Wait,” Andrew said cautiously, “you're telling me that one of the victims had...powers?”

Neil bit back a smile, as macabre as it seemed in the moment, hearing Andrew stumble over the fact that there were people in the world with _powers_ would never not be funny.

“Yeah,” Neil nodded, “from what I can remember I think he could run really fast or something.”

It wasn't the most elegant explanation but Andrew seemed to accept it, “OK, so if this guy had like super speed or something, then why didn't he just run away?”

Neil unbuckled his seat belt and crawled his way from the back seat to the front, surprising Andrew and making him swerve on the empty highway. “It's not that simple, there are certain ways to taper someone's ability and there's even people that can stop them all together.”

“Stop them?” Andrew asked, flicking his eyes towards Neil for a brief second before returning them to the road.

“I heard someone call them dampeners.” Neil said, “There aren't a lot of them within the place, but there's enough of them to call out whenever they need someone with a particularly strong ability stopped.”

Neil thought back on his only encounter with a dampener and the searing headache he experienced that day tore through his mind in a terrible memory. He had thought initially that Andrew was a dampener when his own ability started to give out in his presence but as far as he could tell he hadn't lost it completely, it had just _changed_. If Andrew was involved in that process somehow, it was still a mystery.

“How do they do it?” Andrew asked, “A dampener, I mean.”

“I only had the misfortune of meeting one once,” Neil shuddered, “it's an ability in its own right. I don't know how they do it, per say, I just remember the guy putting his finger on my forehead and then it felt like I was being torn apart from the inside out, like something was trying to drill its way out of my head. It wasn't fun. I didn't see anything for a week after that.”

“So they have to touch you?” Andrew wondered and Neil could make out the small frown on his face by the dashboard lights.

“I don't think so.” Neil shrugged, “Like I said, I'm not an expert and all I know is what I've experienced and what I've heard through snippets of conversations in passing. You're not one, if that's what you're thinking.”

“Sure you're not a mind reader too?” Andrew rolled his eyes.

Neil bit back a smile, “No, but that would be cool.”

Andrew shook his head as Neil unbuckled his seat belt and crawled into the back of the car once more.

“I thought you were one at first,” Neil clarified, “but I can still see things. The things I see and the way I see them have changed, but it's still there.”

“Good.” Andrew mumbled.

Neil hesitated for a moment before rocking forward and leaning his head up between the two front seats. “Besides, dampeners hurt and you've never hurt me.”

 

<O>

 

ANDREW found Neil balancing himself on top of the railing across from the door of their second floor hotel room. Well, hotel would be a stretch. Neil met him with a small grin as he wobbled back and forth in an attempt to keep his balance. He really was like a fucking stray cat.

“So much for being inconspicuous.” Andrew rolled his eyes.

“There's no one around.” Neil shrugged and looked down at Andrew for a minute before hopping off of the narrow bar and balancing himself with Andrew's shoulder.

It wasn't the first time Andrew had worried about the way Neil seemed to be able to flip a switch to a more playful persona after a moment of...whatever the hell had happened back in the apartment. Neil had gone from borderline wanting to kill him only a few hours earlier to acting like a kid on the playground and willingly letting his body get close to Andrew's. He wondered how much of it was a defense and how much of it was actually just Neil, and if he had learned to function that way because of the doctor, no, Mary's, terrible way of protecting him; if had had learned to just roll with the punches and shrug off the moments of true emotion in favor of just being able to keep going for one more day. It made him worry more than he would ever admit out loud.

Neil plucked a key from Andrew and edged around him to the front of their motel room, “Well, that's interesting.”

“What?” Andrew asked, craning his neck to see over Neil's shoulder, “Oh.”

In the middle of the room stood a single queen sized bed.

“It's fine,” Neil said, grabbing a pillow and tossing it to the corner of the room, “I can sleep on the floor.”

Andrew suppressed his growl; Neil still hadn't been able to break the habit of taking the most uncomfortable option. “No, you take the bed. I'm going to be out most of the night at the scene anyway.”

“You sure?” Neil asked, already walking over to the pillow in the corner.

“Yes,” Andrew sighed, “I don't even have time to come in and unpack my stuff.”

Neil nodded and took Andrew's bag from his hand and sat it on the dresser next to the TV. “I'll be here when you get back.”

“Don't wait up.” Andrew said and turned his back to Neil.

“Wait!” Neil yelled.

Andrew turned back towards Neil with a raised eyebrow and saw the other man standing close to him with his palm held upwards, his fingers slotted just enough to make room for Andrew's. Andrew nodded and locked their hands together and relaxed under the familiar pressure of Neil squeezing down on his hand.

Neil's eyes moved rapidly behind his eyelids and he seemed to be mumbling to himself. It was the first time Andrew had really watched Neil's face as he did his...thing. He paid attention to the sudden creases and lines that formed around his lips and eyes, the way he seemed to wince and react to things he was seeing with barely there micro expressions. Neil's eyes opened a few seconds later but Andrew could have sworn it lasted for hours.

“Anything?” Andrew asked cautiously.

“I saw you come back.” Neil said with a slight nod of his head.

“That good enough for you?” Andrew asked as his hand slipped from Neil's.

“Yeah.” Neil smiled.

Andrew nodded one final time, shut the door, and began to make his way down the stairs towards his car. He looked down at his hand as he walked, flexing his fingers and tracing the lines of his palm with his free hand. He knew he wouldn't be able to deny the warmth he felt deep in his bones for much longer...but for now?

“This is nothing. Neil is nothing.”

 

<O>

 

THE scene was still swarming with people as Andrew pulled up. He'd ignored two calls from Wymack on the way over along with a flurry of texts asking him why he wasn't at the scene yet. Somehow the explanation for his later than usual arrival didn't seem like it would make things any easier so it was best to just let the man stew in his feelings.

Andrew parked the car and got out, fishing his badge out of his coat pocket and flashing it past everyone as he walked through the narrow alleyway to the abandoned building. He could already smell the blood before he even hit the door and when he finally rounded the corner into the room he stopped in his tracks. He had seen a Butcher scene before but this was something else entirely. It was something that reminded him of Kevin.

The floor to the room was drenched in blood, more blood than a single body could have possibly produced. That fact made sense when he saw the two severed human heads that were facing each other on raised platforms in the middle of the room. His stomach lurched as he took in the rest of the scene. In total there were twelve platforms, six on either side that sat opposite of each other and each body part had its own platform and sat opposite of, what he assumed, was it's mirror from the other body. It was unmistakably The Butcher's work and it was the first time the killer had ever left more than one body. He was sending a message. Andrew didn't know what the message was but he'd be dammed if he didn't figure it out.

“Fucked up, isn't it?” A voice asked from behind Andrew, “You must be the guy from the LA office. Doe, right?”

“Yeah.” Andrew turned slowly and took in the sight of the man in front of him. He was taller than Andrew himself by at least a head or two, his skin tan and his blonde hair stuck up in a way that could only be intentional while trying not to actually seem intentional. His eyes were soft and kind, blue like the color of a lake that went undisturbed.

“I'm Knox,” The man said, holding out a hand in greeting and wearing a smile that was a bit too out of place for such a terrible scene, “Jeremy Knox.”

Great, they stuck with a puppy dog.

“Nice to meet you.” Andrew said, pushing past Knox and ignoring his hand in an effort to make it back to fresh air before he lost his dinner all over an active crime scene.

Knox followed along behind him, perhaps a little too close, and Andrew could feel the energy radiating off of the other man.

“We've never seen something like this down here, not this crazy,” Knox said, “I've paid attention to the Butcher case but most of my experience with big killings has been gang related, nothing this fucked up.”

“Well, meet The Butcher.” Andrew waved his arm back towards the entrance of the building as he braced himself against the wall of the exterior, letting the cold feeling of the brick under his hands ground him.

“You doing OK, man?” Knox asked, “You don't look too hot.”

“It's nothing,” Andrew shrugged the other man off, “I just got off the road and haven't slept. I wasn't expecting it to be this bad.”

“Yeah,” Knox shuddered, “It's pretty terrible in there.”

“This is the first time he's ever left more than one body.” Andrew said, mostly to himself.

“First one outside of LA too, right?” Knox asked.

“Yeah,” Andrew nodded.

“Seems to me like the asshole is getting cocky,” Knox said. “Or maybe he's just bored and wants to branch out. Maybe the heat was a little too high in LA after the body last month and he had an itch to scratch.”

Or maybe he isn't a he after all and those pieces of bodies in there belonged to two people who could do extraordinary things. The revelations from earlier in the night with Neil were forcing him to look at everything from a new angle, The Butcher was just a front for whatever organization that had Neil and all those other people with powers. He didn't know why they were being killed though, or why the bodies needed to be disposed of in this way. Surely a place that had the kind of resources Neil had explained would have better ways of getting rid of the dirty laundry. He'd taken two steps forward and three steps back when it came to the mystery of The Butcher.

“Earth to Doe!” Knox snapped his fingers in front of Andrew.

“Sorry,” Andrew shook his head, “I was crunching numbers. Do we know anything yet?”

“The prelim forensic people seem to think that the bodies were drained of their blood before they were cut apart. Something about the way the skin looks and the temperatures of the bodies when they got here.” Knox said.

“We won't know a cause of death until tomorrow but I'm going to go out on a limb and say blood loss.” Andrew made his way back towards the building with Knox following a few steps behind him.

“I guess,” Knox shrugged, “shouldn't jump to conclusions before we know anything for sure though.”

“It's not jumping to conclusions,” Andrew rolled his eyes, “it's far easier to bleed a live body than it is to bleed a dead body. The heart keeps pumping for as long as it can which makes the blood flow out easier.”

“Handy fact.” Knox mumbled.

Andrew ignored him and slipped little white booties on over his shoes and rolled up the legs of his pants before he made his way out onto the blood covered floor. He prayed to every god he could think of, even if he didn't really believe, to not let him slip.

“There's sawdust on the edges of the platforms,” Andrew called back to Knox, “they put them together here.”

“They?” Knox questioned and Andrew ignored.

“They weren't worried about being bothered. It likely wasn't anything more than a drill or two but still, you'd think they would want to minimize the risk of getting caught.” Andrew trailed a gloved hand across one of the platforms, “No dust on them either so they hadn't been sitting here ahead of time.”

“Any insight on the bodies?” Knox asked, falling into the spot next to Andrew.

“Bodies aren't really my thing,” Andrew shook his head, “I work better when I check out everything around the scene.”

Andrew walked around to the other side of the room and crawled up on top of a stack of pallets to see the room from a different angle, “Were there any footprints in the blood before everyone got here?”

“Not that I remember,” Knox said, “I was the first on the scene. Now that you mention it...it did kinda freak me out because the entire place looked too still.”

There had to have been more than one person involved in this. The room had three exits and they were spaced far enough apart that if one person each stood in the doorway and dumped buckets of blood out into the room it would naturally flow together to cover the floor and leave it undisturbed.

“The techs are ready to start clearing the room if you're done with it.” Knox said, looking up at him from the ground.

Andrew lowered himself from the vantage point and made his way out of the room, “Yeah, let them take it apart.”

Andrew and Knox exchanged numbers with the promise that the latter man would call him if anything major happened that night, otherwise Andrew would wait for his call in the morning with directions to their crime scene lab.

Andrew smoked half a pack of his cigarettes before even setting foot inside of his car. He needed to calm himself completely before he went back to the room that contained one Neil and only one bed. The combination of the nicotine and the fresh air finally gave him the chance to think about what had happened in the hallway before everything went to shit.

Was Neil really about to kiss him? Did he really want to kiss Neil? Was he willing to ruin whatever kind of friendship they had just for the off chance of one kiss or a night of something more?

Andrew couldn't think of an answer to any of those questions which was fine because, after all, Neil was nothing.

 

<O>

 

NEIL paced the length of the motel room filled to the brim with nervous energy. Realistically he knew that Andrew would be OK and he knew that Andrew would be back sometime within the next ten minutes or so but damn if that didn't stop him from worrying. It was rare but there had been times before when the future had changed from something he'd seen in a vision, the butterfly effect or something, so there was no way to know _for sure_ that Andrew would walk back through that door.

Neil's anxiety was only heightened by the revelations from earlier in the evening. Suddenly the thought of sending Andrew out to hunt a serial killer who actually wasn't a serial killer was more frightening. He had all but pieced together the operation based on what he knew about the Director. The Butcher was a cover. The Director most likely used it to dispose of bodies that he'd either went to far on or had no use for anymore. It was actually kind of brilliant when Neil thought about it. What better way to get people's minds off of the odd things that seemed to have been happening more and more lately than an honest to god serial killer? Who would care about rumors of a girl teleporting from place to place around the city when they had to lock their doors and hold their loved ones close at night so they wouldn't become the next victim of The Butcher? The Director was a lot of things, a lot of fucking terrible things, but he was also smart. From what Neil knew there was no way to really identify someone with abilities unless you knew exactly what you were looking for in the chemistry of their body so it was an almost fool proof plan. A plan that had started with the death of the doctor, Mary Hatford. Even in death the man found one final way to use her.

Neil's pacing was interrupted by the click of a key card at the door; he tensed for a moment and dropped down into a fighting stance just in case, but relaxed when the door swung open to reveal an exhausted looking Andrew.

“Hi.” Andrew mumbled, offering a lazy half wave as he crossed the threshold into the room.

Neil straightened his body and smoothed down his shirt, rolling his shoulders in an effort to release the tension from them, “How was it?”

“Bad,” Andrew sighed, “two bodies and a ton of blood.”

“Shit.” Neil muttered.

“Everything you found out earlier makes the scenes easier to look at,” Andrew said, dropping down onto the edge of the bed, “things that stood out to me as odd all of a sudden make sense now when you look at it from this new angle.”

“Yeah,” Neil said, lowering himself to the ground and sitting in front of Andrew, his eyes level to the other mans knees, “they're trying to draw suspicion from weird things that are happening around the city. You have to have heard the rumors, right?”

“Not like I paid attention to any of them.” Andrew shrugged and looked down at Neil, locking their eyes into a stare.

“Maybe you don't, Mr. Rational, but a lot of people do,” Neil said, “distracting people with a serial killer is kind of genius.”

“I'm sure they'd be very glad to hear your praise.” Andrew rolled his eyes.

Neil ignored him and shuffled his body across the floor so that he was now sitting with his back to the foot of the bed and his head next to Andrew's knee, “Now that we know we can try to beat them at their own game.”

“We?” Andrew asked.

“Of course,” Neil sighed, “I'm just as involved in this as you are. Hell, I'm more involved.”

“Neil,” Andrew whispered, “I've already lost one person I cared about to this whole thing, I won't lose another.”

“What?” Neil asked, his eyes going wide as they met Andrew.

“My partner, Kevin,” Andrew said softly, “we'd been working the case together from the beginning and then six months ago we almost had the guy, or whoever the fuck is doing this whole thing, but we got separated and...”

“They killed him.” Neil whispered.

“Yeah,” Andrew said, “I found his body and then they knocked me out and when I woke up it was gone and all there was left in its place was his blood. So much of his fucking blood.”

“Fuck.” Neil muttered, “That's just another reason for me to want to stop all of them. I can't let them keep hurting people. There's god knows how many scared kids trapped down there with them, adults that they've raised to be their perfect little soldiers and do their bidding. I can't keep running from them forever, Andrew. And the only way that that will happen is if they're gone for good.”

Neil let his head fall back onto the edge of the bed as he closed his eyes. He couldn't listen to Andrew try and talk him out of anything anymore, he was going to stop running and stop being a scared little rabbit. He was going to fight.

The room was silent for a few long moments and Neil was about to speak again when he felt a hand start to card through his hair. He looked up and found Andrew looking in the other direction from him, across the room at a blank wall, while his fingers threaded their way through Neil's hair. He couldn't deny how much the simple action relaxed him and he felt more grounded in that moment than the one before. Neil let out a baited breath as his head drooped against Andrew's knee and stayed there. Neither man mentioned the moment and neither reacted negatively from the unexpected touch.

Neil was suddenly overcome again with what he had felt hours before in the doorway or his bedroom. The feeling of wanting to be close to Andrew for god knows what reason. He wanted to feel Andrew's arms around him again. He wanted to know what pressing their lips together would feel like. He wanted it all and it fucking terrified him.

It all came crashing back to him in an instant and he bolted upright. Andrew's hand tore through his hair as he sprang through the air and crossed the room in an instant to separate himself from the touch. It wasn't right. Connections made him weak. He wasn't allowed to feel for another person. He wasn't allowed to want the touch of another person to comfort him. He wasn't allowed to want to fucking kiss someone. The doctor was right, she was always fucking right. He was stupid, he was weak, and it was going to get them both killed.

Neil didn't give Andrew a chance to speak before he locked himself in the bathroom and dropped to the floor. His mind began to rip itself to pieces as it tried to figure out just what he wanted. He turned on the shower and stripped his clothes, letting the feeling of the hot spray wash over his body. He wracked his brain to find if there was a compromise, some way to balance the things the doctor had told him against everything he wanted from Andrew. There was no compromise, it was one or the other: The memory of the woman who had hurt him while keeping him safe versus the man on the other side of the door who promised to protect him.

God, he really was stupid. There was no need for dramatics, no need to bolt across the room, because the answer was clear as fucking day. In a battle between the doctor and Andrew the clear winner would always be Andrew. Whatever this was with Andrew would always be a yes.

Neil got out of the shower and wrapped himself in a towel. He pushed the door open as fast as it would allow itself. “Andrew, I'm sorry, I-”

Neil stopped talking when he found the room empty. He was on the edge of panic. The door was closed, Andrew's shoes and coat were gone, and there was a note sitting on the middle of the bed.

 

_**Had to run back out to the scene, got a call about strange activity in the building next to it. I couldn't wait for you.** _

 

Neil let out a feral growl and crumpled the note into a ball and threw it against the wall. He was a fucking idiot. Andrew was a fucking idiot. They were both fucking idiots. Andrew had raced out of the room as soon as he could because of Neil's freak out, running back to the crime scene without even waiting for Neil to finish showering.

Neil grabbed his phone from its spot on the small table and dialed Andrew. The phone immediately went to the voicemail.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.” Neil whispered over and over again.

Andrew was out there alone with no idea what he was walking into. Neil had no idea either, the asshole had left before he could fucking see anything. He began his frantic pacing again after throwing on a clean set of clothing. He drove his fist into the wall in frustration before he fell back down onto the bed and grabbed his set of keys from the nightstand.

Neil had no idea where the scene was, he hadn't be able to make out any identifying places in his vision earlier, so it wasn't like he could just go there to meet Andrew. He had no idea if this was a trap and if Andrew would even be coming back to him ever again. He gripped the set of keys in his hand, the teeth of the key to Andrew's apartment biting into the palm of his hand. He held it even tighter, hissing as he felt the metal break the skin, and he closed his eyes.

It all happened in a flash after that. He could feel the burning sensation of the keys in his hand as the images flashed across brain. Andrew walking past a sign and into a building. Andrew walking up a flight of stairs. Andrew on a rooftop. Andrew and a young girl. The young girl doing...something. A man with the number three carved into his cheek coming up behind him. _Jean._ Jean lunging at Andrew. Jean and Andrew fighting. Jean overpowering Andrew. Jean breaking Andrew's neck. Andrew laying dead the ground.

Neil's eyes flew open and he gasped for air. He threw the keys across the room and into the screen of the TV. The screen of the TV shattered and sent shards of glass flying across the room.

“What the...” Neil gasped, “How the fuck?”

Neil didn't have time to think about what happened after that. He couldn't stop to try and figure out why or how he saw what he did. He couldn't think about how he had gotten a vision from a _key._ He had to save Andrew. He played the images over and over again in his head while trying to focus on the sign in the background. It was a street sign, and even better, it was an intersection.

Neil lunged from the bed, dressed himself quickly in clothes he knew could stand up in a fight, and made his way towards the door of the motel room. He pushed himself out of it as fast as he could and made his way to the parking lot. The entire way down he hoped that he could remember how to hotwire a fucking car.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and the crazy psychic neil plot thickens!
> 
> next chapter is a DOOZY, ya'll


	17. War Zone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first, because we literally go any further, cattiekit on tumblr did [THIS ](http://cattiekit.tumblr.com/post/159424614341/okay-this-is-super-random-but-im-obsessed-with)amazing, perfect, wonderful, beautiful, perfect fan art of this fic (and im still so shook that anyone would even take the time out of their day to do this????) and i cant stop looking at it so you all need to look at it to and give it love because it's beautiful and perfect
> 
> also, im gonna be super busy tomorrow and dint know when id be able to update so i just decided to put this chapter up early.

 

 

 

 

 

XVII

War Zone

 

ANDREW parked in nearly the same spot as when he first showed up at the scene. He gave the surrounding area a scan but didn't register anything immediately dangerous. Neil was going to be furious when he got back to the hotel room, but after he getting the frantic call from Jeremy he didn't have time to wait for Neil to come back to earth after his reaction in the hotel room. He spent most of the car ride specifically trying to avoid thinking about Neil and the way he bolted across the room and locked himself in the bathroom. There would be time for that later; right now he couldn't let anything cloud his judgment. Not if he was walking into a situation blind. Hell, this could just be a random homeless person poking around where they didn't belong but if the last month had taught Andrew anything, it was that sometimes a random homeless person isn't so random.

He caught sight of Jeremy standing outside a heavy metal door belonging a building that was directly across the street from the crime scene. He let himself out of the car, drew his gun and checked that it was properly loaded, and crossed the street to meet the other man.

“What do we have, Knox?” Andrew asked as he fell into step next to him.

“Suspicious person lurking around the scene,” Knox nodded, “tracked them from the scene to here. There's blood on the door handle.”

“Did you see them go inside?” Andrew asked.

“No,” Knox shook his head, “I heard the door open and close and then saw the blood. I was waiting for you because I'd really rather not run into something by myself.”

“You ready to go?” Andrew readied his gun and held the door open.

“I'll take point,” Knox whispered, “You watch my back, Andrew.”

Andrew? Since when did another agent call him by his first name? “Sure thing.”

Andrew kept his eyes directly on Knox as they entered the building. There was a small blood trail that led from the door they came in through and down a long hallway. It ended at another door and Knox pushed it open and let them into a long and winding stairwell.

“Where to now?” Knox whispered.

Andrew scanned the staircase until his eyes fell on a bloody fingerprint on the metal railing, “Looks like we're going up.”

Knox once again led the way up the stairs, his gun pointed in front of him. He tracked the small drops of blood as they rose higher and higher into the building, “I think they're leading to the roof.”

Andrew nodded in agreement and kept his ears open for any odd sounds. Something about this didn't feel right and he was starting to wish that he had waited for Neil to come out of the bathroom, if only for peace of mind.

Their steps reverberated off the walls as they climbed higher and higher and it seemed as if the air was getting thinner the closer they got to the roof. The lights along the walls began to flicker and Andrew immediately stopped.

“Everything in a half mile radius.” Andrew whispered.

“What?” Knox hissed, turning back to him.

“Something's off here, Knox.” Andrew shook his head, “Did you call this in?”

“Yes, Andrew.” Knox sighed, “You can go back downstairs, I'm not waiting.”

The door to the room banged open and shut so quickly Andrew almost didn't notice it. Knox took one look at the door that was still several floors above them and took off in a sprint up the stairs.

“Knox!” Andrew yelled after him, “What the fuck are you doing?”

Knox didn't even spare a glance behind him as he made his way for the room. Andrew huffed out an unamused growl and took off after him. Knox already had about a floor’s lead on him and was going to make it to the roof before Andrew even had a chance of catching up to him. He lost his footing on a stray step at the same time as Knox reached the door and let himself out on the roof. Andrew cursed as he pushed himself up from the stone steps and wiped his bloody palms on the front of his jeans.

By the time Andrew reached the door to the roof Knox had been alone for about 30 seconds. Andrew listened as he pushed himself out onto the roof and didn't hear a single sound. There was no trace of Knox anywhere as he spun himself in a circle to try and find the other agent. The only other person on the roof was a frail looking girl who sat cowering in the corner of the roof.

Andrew headed towards her with his gun still raised, “Federal Agent, ma'am. I need you to stay where you are.”

The girl looked up at him with wide eyes that were stained red from tears, “I'm sorry.”

“What?” Andrew asked as he took a hesitant step forward, “What are you sorry for?”

The girl rose to her feet and began to sway as she took a few steps towards him, “They're making me do this. I don't want to.”

“Who's making you do what?” Andrew asked, his gun was still raised and trained on the girl, “Stop moving, I don't want to have to shoot you.”

“The King,” The girl whispered, “I'm so tired.”

Andrew watched as the girl came to a strop and then fell to her knees. She hunched her body over and began to shake as if she was sobbing. Andrew took another hesitant step towards her before looking around to see if he could find Knox.

“Knox!” Andrew called out, “Where the fuck are you?”

He really fucking hoped that this girl didn't throw him over the side of the building.

“Hey!” Andrew snapped at the girl, “Where is the other guy who came up here before me?”

“He was never really here.” The girl whispered.

“Enough stalling, Robin.” A voice boomed from somewhere hidden on the roof, it sounded like Knox but there was something...different to it, “Do it so we can get out of here.”

Andrew, foolishly, turned his back to the girl to search for the source of the voice and before he could react he felt a pair of frail arms around him.

“Help me,” The girl whispered, snaking her arms around his waist, “Evermore Laboratories.”

The girl pushed Andrew away and he felt a spark of electricity between them as the girl touched him. He fell to the ground and looked back and saw the girl begin to almost fucking glow. He watched as she closed her eyes and the air around her began to spark. Once. Twice. Three times. And then there was a bright flash and everything went white.

He couldn't fucking see, the light had blinded him. He rubbed his eyes, desperately trying to get his vision back. He didn't know where his gun was, he couldn't see anyone around him, and he felt fucking helpless. He heard the crunching of feet on the gravel surface of the roof as the world slowly started to reform before his eyes.

The girl was no longer standing in front of him, in fact, he couldn't see her anywhere on the roof at all. He looked up at the figure heading towards him and noticed that everything around them was dark. The streetlights had gone out, the neon signs in the windows down below had stopped blinking, and the previously illuminated buildings to either side of him were just black pillars standing in the night sky.

“Everything in a half mile radius.” Andrew mumbled to himself again. Guess he found his EMP.

Andrew's vision was almost completely back to him as he stood and took in the face of the person standing in front of him. Jeremy Knox.

“Knox?” Andrew rasped, “What the fuck?”

Knox didn't answer. He stepped towards Andrew quickly and drove a surprise punch into his stomach before kicking Andrew's legs out from under him.

Andrew rolled away from the kick that Knox tried to deliver to his ribs and pushed himself upwards again. He still couldn't find his gun but he had a spare knife in a hidden pocket in his coat that he fished out and held at the ready.

“I don't know what the fuck you've gotten yourself into, Knox.” Andrew growled, “But I can promise you this will not end well.”

“Jeremy Knox is not here at the moment; he's currently sleeping off a very painful blow to the head and will be very confused when he wakes up in a few hours.” The attacker said, his voice coming out with a smooth French accent.

Andrew watched as the face of the man in front of him twisted into something unnatural. At first it was the face of Jeremy Knox but slowly the features began to slide away and morph into one another, twisting into a disgustingly tangled mess before reforming into a new face entirely.

The new face was scarred and traded Knox's blue eyes for some kind of gunmetal gray. Andrew noticed almost immediately that there was a 3 carved into the attacker’s cheek.

“Nice trick.” Andrew scoffed, “That all you can do? Gotta say, I've seen cooler than that.”

“Yes.” The attacker said, “We are well aware you've been spending time with our little bird that has flown the nest. We'll deal with him after we take care of you. You've meddled in our affairs for far too long.”

“Meddled?” Andrew laughed, “I've only known about whatever the fuck you people are for a bit over a month.”

“How blind,” The attacker rolled his eyes, “you didn't even notice that you were working with one of us for years.”

Andrew's entire body went still, “What the fuck did you just say?”

“Your partner, you did not know he was one of us.” The attacker let a dark grin cross his face, “He was installed by The Director to monitor and impede the investigation into your little serial killer.”

“Shut the fuck up!” Andrew growled, “You don't know what the fuck you're talking about! They killed Day!”

“Did they?” The attacker questioned, “I wasn't aware you found a body.”

“No.” Andrew hissed, “I don't believe you!”

“Believe me or not, it does not matter. You will be dead soon enough.” The attacker shrugged, “The King just thought it would be fun for you to know that you trusted his own brother so much. We watched you mourn, it was very entertaining. Number Two, or rather, Kevin to you, sends his regards.”

The attacker lunged at Andrew and he saw red, he lashed out with his knife to strike at his attacker but was met with only air as another body flew through the air and made contact with the man just before he reached Andrew.

Andrew's eyes tracked the small frame as it rolled across the roof with the bigger man wrapped in his arms. He saw the smaller one situate himself across the bigger mans midsection and drive an elbow into the attackers face. The attacker cried out in pain before bucking himself upwards and throwing the smaller man off of him. The attacker leapt to his feet and drove his fist into the face of the smaller man. The smaller man staggered backwards and towards Andrew before he collapsed. Andrew made a line for the man who had saved him and dropped to his knees.

“Neil?” Andrew gasped as he looked down at the bloody face in front of him.

“Hey.” Neil coughed.

Andrew didn't have time to respond before Neil pushed him backwards, he plucked the knife from Andrew's hand and threw it towards the attacker. It sailed through the air and hit its target sure and true, embedding itself in his chest. Neil was on his feet in another moment, zipping across the roof and colliding straight into the attacker, checking him with his shoulder and sending the attacker flying off of the edge of the roof.

Neil looked back at Andrew and smiled, “I always hated that guy.”

Andrew rushed to the side of the building and hung his head over the roof to find the sprawled out body of Not-Jeremy unconscious on the fire escape a few floors down. “Neil?” Andrew breathed, “How the fuck did you know?”

“No time to explain it,” Neil shook his head, “Fuck, I can't even explain it. That won't keep Jean down for long and he's not here alone.”

“Jean?” Andrew questioned as he trailed his eyes across the expanse of the roof and finally located his gun.

“He's one of the more _specialized_ assets the Director has at his disposal,” Neil waved a dismissive hand through the air, “though judging by the mark on his cheek it seems the King really took a liking to him.”

“King?” Andrew shook his head, “Clearly there's stuff you've yet to tell me.”

Neil looked away, unable to meet Andrew's gaze, “I'll tell you everything if we actually make it out of this alive.”

Andrew let out a deep sigh and switched the safety off of his gun, cocked it, and held it at the ready. He followed Neil back towards the door that granted access to the stairs and stopped when he realized he was looking into a black hole of nothing. Neil held up a hand, stopping him, and then emergency lights flashed on. The lights illuminated the stairwell for about 30 seconds before switching off again.

“Do you have a flashlight?” Neil asked, his voice a low whisper.

Andrew fished the pen light out of his jacket pocket and held it out to Neil, “This is all I have.”

Neil let out a breath, blowing it upwards and rustling his bangs, “It's going to get messy in there, try not to use the gun if you don't have to. I don't feel like getting shot tonight.”

“Noted.” Andrew rolled his eyes and followed Neil into the dark stairwell.

 

<O>

 

NEIL took a moment to let his eyes adjust to the darkness. It was a useless moment as the second they adjusted the emergency lights flashed back on and blinded him. Some emergency lights. He could feel Andrew's presence at his back and he had to admit it was comforting, knowing he was walking into a fight with someone he trusted absolutely. He'd never had that feeling before. Back when it was him and the doctor, no, Mary, she never let him fight. Mary handled all the battles herself with ruthless efficiency. After her death Neil had no choice but to fight alone, it was either that or let himself be captured again, and he adopted the same ruthless efficiency that he'd seen Mary display time and time again. Though he could never bring himself to actually use a gun, he'd seen one too many things go wrong with them over the years, he had been trained in hand to hand combat since he could walk and he was rather practiced at handling a knife. He knew exactly where to cut to maximize damage, to slow down his opponent, or to strike a killing blow in a few seconds flat. He pulled his own blade out of the sleeves of one of his armbands, holding it at the ready while ignoring Andrew's questioning. He reached out and grasped the metal railing of the staircase, closing his eyes and letting the smooth metal ground him. He only had a few chances to experiment on his way over but whatever had changed, once again, with his power seemed to have to do with grounding himself to an object.

The images that flashed in his mind were a welcomed return, they were both the same but different, he no longer saw them in first person and now saw himself in the same way he saw Andrew, like he was a visitor from outside of his own body or he was watching a particularly gory horror movie. They also didn't last as long but they gave him the exact edge he needed to hopefully make it out.

The door to the 20th floor would open in a few more steps, a member of the Unkindness would surprise Andrew as they passed and... “Andrew,” Neil whispered, “Three more steps and the door behind you will open, be ready for a knife.”

Neil ignored Andrew's questions, trusting the other man to take care of himself, as he crouched himself forward. Just as the lights come on two more Unkindness would rush him from the front at the same moment Andrew was attacked from behind. A pincer attack, Neil thought, would have worked perfectly but they forgot who they were dealing with.

The lights flashed on and he heard the scraping of the door behind him, Andrew let out a low grunt which hopefully meant he intercepted his attacker. Neil ducked just as two sets of arms lashed out in front of him, he swiped his knife forward, smiling as it slide across the stomachs of both of his attackers and then they collapsed to the floor in a pool of blood. Three down, a shit ton more to go.

“You can see things again?” Andrew asked in a hushed whisper.

“Sort of,” Neil shrugged, “it's the same but different.”

Neil paused again and rested his hand against the wall ass the light went off. He barely had time to react as the images flashed in his mind, “Andrew! Duck!”

He fell to the ground and felt Andrew's weight behind him, “How many?” Andrew asked.

“Four. Two above. Two below.” Neil rasped as the lights flashed back on and he was hit across the face by a fist. It sent him tumbling down the stairs to the next landing. He shook his head in an attempt to clear the fuzziness caused by the blow to the head and found Andrew surrounded on the stairs by four men.

Neil sprung to his feet, bounding up the stairs a few steps at a time, and launched himself on the back of one of the attackers. He wasted no time in drawing the silver blade across the man’s throat and pushing his body over the railing as it went limp. The second man tried to strike out with another punch but Neil was ready, he faked to the left and hit the attacker with his own hook. He smiled as he felt a few teeth fall loose in the other man’s mouth.

He let his eyes flash towards Andrew who was in the middle of fending off two of his attackers. He watched briefly and smiled as he saw how the other man used his short stature against the men attacking him. Neither of them expected someone as small as him to put up a fight but what Andrew lacked in height he more than made up with in muscle mass and he was in prime striking territory to take out both men with powerful punches to their stomachs.

“Andrew!” Neil called out and tossed the knife a few feet towards him. He didn't need to watch to know that Andrew put the blade to good use.

He turned back to the only man left standing. He struck out with a kick and then swept his other leg around and under the disoriented man’s feet and sent him tumbling to the ground. Andrew passed the knife back to him and slid it quickly into the man’s heart and moved on.

“The one on the left should have a knife of his own.” Neil flicked his head towards the body closest to Andrew.

Andrew silently nodded and retrieved the long blade out of the breast pocket before the lights cut off once again.

Neil grabbed the railing and paused for a moment, “We should be fine until we get two more floors down. There are five of them. You take two and I'll take the other three. One of them has a shotgun but I can't tell if he'll use it or not.”

“This is going to be fun to explain to Wymack.” Andrew sighed.

“With any luck it will all be cleaned up by then.” Neil shrugged.

The lights flashed on and Neil caught a glimpse of movement on floor below over the side of the railing. He pushed himself up onto the bars and waited for a sign of movement again before pushing himself off with his feet and flying across to the other side of the stairs. He made contact with his first mark, slitting his throat with ease. He grabbed his second mark from the neck and hauled him over the side of the railing and let him fall to the ground below.  
Andrew joined the fight at this point; he grabbed his first mark by the back of the head and drove his face into the wall before kneeing him in the back of the legs and dragging the blade across his neck. As he let the body fall Neil caught a glint of metal in the light, “Andrew! The gun!”

Andrew spun just in time to knock the barrel of the shotgun out of the way and the attacker fired into the darkness of the stairwell. Andrew took advantage of the moment and drove the butt of the gun into the man’s face before wrenching it out of his hands and turning it back on the man, firing directly into his head.

Neil was struck from behind and he felt a searing pain in his back. He stumbled forward a few steps and fell to his knees. The pain was beginning to radiate from his lower back outwards and he reached back and felt the cold grip of a knife sticking out of his body.

“Fuck.” Neil whispered, looking back at his attacker who was slowly approaching him. Neil pushed himself up to his feet and held out his own blade but the pain was already starting to overwhelm him. He must have hit _something_ because this didn't feel right.

Neil saw the smile stretch across the man’s face as he pulled another knife out and lunged for him. Neil's arms rose to protect his face and he stumbled backwards at the sound of a loud bang echoing through the stairwell. He felt the sticky sensation of blood and... other things spatter across his face and he opened his eyes to find a smiling Andrew holding a shotgun at the ready.

“You're welcome.” Andrew blinked and Neil couldn't help but smile at the complete look of apathy that was written across the other man’s face. He let out a small laugh and immediately winced as he felt the pain shoot through him like fire.

“What's wrong?” Andrew bounded forward, keeping the gun angled away in the crook of his arm.

“Nothing...major.” Neil smiled, “I'm fine.”

Andrew's eyes focused on the blade sticking out of his back and his face twisted into something he had never seen before, “You're not fine!”

“I _have_ to be fine.” Neil sighed, “Don't pull it out, it'll start bleeding.”

Andrew opened his mouth to say something but Neil cast him a furious look. He closed his mouth and walked forward slowly, keeping his eye on the protruding blade as they went. Neil stopped for a second and rested his hand against the wall and closed his eyes. The flashes in his mind were more frantic now and he realized it was because he couldn't entirely focus with a knife sticking out of his back. All he could tell was that they were safe until they got to the bottom floor and then all he could see was darkness.

“I don't know what we're walking into down there but you might want to have those guns ready.” Neil mumbled as he took a few unstable steps forward. He braced himself as they continued down the stairs and fell to his knees when they hit the landing of the ground floor.

“Come on, Neil,” Andrew whispered, “we're almost there. Don't you dare give up on me now.”

Neil looked up and took in the sight of Andrew at the exact moment that the lights flicked on again. His head was directly in front of one of the lights and it made him glow as if he was wearing a halo. Neil couldn't suppress the smile that stretched across his face as he looked back up at the man who had given him more than he ever could have asked for, “If I don't make it out of this...I just want you to know-”

Andrew leaned in dangerously close and cut him off, “Shut the fuck up. Don't you dare say that. The door is right there and my car is just across the street. We're going to make it.”

“OK.” Neil nodded and took Andrew's arm as he pulled himself up from the ground.

Andrew watched their backs as Neil reached out and opened the door. He recoiled from it as his hand touched the handle and began to burn. He stumbled backwards a few steps as the door swung open and he was brought face-to-face with someone he never thought he would see again.

Standing in front of Neil was a boy, who was now grown, and still covered in burn scars. His skin was blistering and bubbling as he stood there and a smile stretched across his face as he took in the sight of Neil. He was rooted in place as the boy who killed Mary took a step forward.

“Brian,” The French accent rang out from behind him, “you know what to do.”

Neil was frozen as Brain took another step towards him and held out a single finger. In an instant the skin on it began to bubble and burn down to the bone before it caught fire. Brian took another step forward and Neil let out an agonizing scream as the burning finger was pressed against the flesh of his cheek. He could smell his own skin burning as the flame ate away at him and tears began to fall from his face as it burned down to raw nerves. Brian backed him against the wall as two more fingers lit up and Neil was trapped, screaming and desperate, as Brian slowly walked his fingers up Neil's arms leaving him with sizzling circular burn marks on his skin.

A loud crash came from behind him and startled him back into reality. Andrew. He had to make sure Andrew got out of this. He pushed out with his elbow, screaming as his arm made contact with Brian's now burning torso, and struck with enough force that Brain stumbled backwards.

Neil dashed towards Andrew with what little energy he had left and drove his knife into the one of one of the Unkindness who had him pinned to the wall. The man let out a sickening gasp as Neil twisted to blade and severed his spinal cord.

Andrew had enough leverage now to knee the second man in the groin before he took advantage of his smaller stature and drove the top of his head upwards and into the mans nose before jamming his knife into the man’s stomach and pushing him backwards.

Neil only had a moment of rest before he felt a large hand in his hair. The hand jerked him backwards and slammed him against the wall opposite of Andrew. Jean had him by the head and slammed him against the wall again. Neil let out a wet cough and spit the blood in his mouth out onto Jean and laughed, “Riko really did make you his bitch, didn't he?”

“Do not speak of the King.” Jean muttered as he drew Neil's head back and slammed it into the wall again.

Neil desperately held onto his consciousnesses as stars exploded around him, “Remember what you told me before I left? What you whispered into that air vent after Riko was done playing with you?”

“Shut up!” Jean yelled as he drove his fist into Neil's stomach.

Neil spit more blood onto Jean's face, this time covering the three carved into his skin, “I won't let him break me, little bird. I won't like him break either of us.” Neil repeated Jean's words to him and he saw the faintest flicker of regret in his eyes.

“You left me,” Jean whispered, “you don't know how it was after that. How angry the King and the Director were. What they did to me when I was alone. I had no reason to fight anymore, little bird.”

Neil coughed again, more blood in his mouth this time, too much blood, “I tried to get her to go back for you, Jean. I tried so hard.”

Jean let go of Neil's hair and looked at him for a moment before backhanding him across the face, “That is not my name. I have no name. I am number three.”

Neil fell to the ground and curled himself into a ball to block Jean's kick to his stomach, “I'm so sorry, Jean.”

Jean drew his foot back once more and then paused before turning around and walking for the door. The group of Unkindness followed behind him and filtered around him as he paused and looked back towards Brian, “Get rid of the little bird and the FBI agent, I don't want a trace of anything left in this building. Burn it all down.”

Brian nodded and Jean shut the door behind himself as he walked towards the street. Brain looked back at the ground and let his eyes dart between Andrew and Neil before stepping towards the stairs. He held out a single burning hand and pressed it against the railing and Neil watched in silent horror as a train of fire began to make it's way up the stairs, swirling into a spiral as it rose up the building and set everything ablaze as it made contact.

Brain looked back at him and smiled as he made another step towards Andrew, “I'll make you watch as I kill someone you care about, again.”

Andrew was struggling to get to his feet as he reached desperately for either gun that had been knocked from his hand. Neil shook his head and pushed himself up from the ground, ignoring every single sign of pain in his body. He wasn't going to die screaming in a fire like she did and he sure as fuck wasn't going to let Andrew die that way. No, if he had to die he was going to do it on his own terms.

He looked across the room and saw that his knife was already lost to a seat of flames. He couldn't make it to the guns without getting past Brian and he had no hope of stopping the burning boy with his own hands. There was only once choice left. He looked down at the knife sticking from his lower back and bit his lip as he pulled it out. It slid out of him like a knife through butter and immediately began to pump out thick, red blood through the small opening it left in its wake.

Neil slowly walked up behind Brian, trying not to make a single sound. He paused for a brief moment as he entered striking range to gather his strength before he flipped the knife around in his fist and plunged it straight into the base of the burning boys neck just as Mary, no, the doctor, had taught him one night when the nightmares wouldn't let him sleep.

It almost seemed unfair that Brain would get such an easy death. If Neil had his way it would have been long, drawn out and fucking painful and it would be a moment he would savor forever. But as it stood, Neil was pretty sure he wasn't going to make it through the next five minutes himself so at least he could die with the satisfaction of knowing he had killed the boy who murdered the woman that had protected him. And that Andrew was safe.

The fire in the building stopped raging the second that Brian's body hit the floor and Neil felt all the pain rushing back to his system as the adrenaline burned out of his body. Andrew pulled himself up to his feet and rushed in front of Neil, grabbing him by both shoulders and holding him steady.

“Neil?” Andrew shook his head, “What did you do?”

Neil watched as Andrew's eyes tracked from the knife in the base of Brian's neck to the now absent area where the knife had been embedded into Neil and was now covered in a thick red stain.

“You idiot!” Andrew growled, “You stupid fucking martyr! You promised!”

Neil smiled, he did promise. He promised to protect Andrew and he had delivered. His vision began to blur around the edges and he felt his head going light. He knew he was slipping away in that moment. There were so many things he wanted to say to Andrew. He wanted to hug him one last time. He wanted to feel Andrew's fingers carding through his hair once more. He wanted to curl into a ball on the couch and watch one last terrible episode of Real Housewives with Andrew by his side pretending not to enjoy it. He wanted to at least know what it would feel like to kiss another person, to kiss Andrew. But he didn't have time to say any of that.

“Thank you.” Neil finally whispered as his feet began to give way under him, “You were amazing.”

He hoped that was enough.

 

<O>

 

BY the time Andrew had managed to get Neil to his car they were both covered in blood and none of it was Andrew's. He glanced down at the body pressed against his side and tried to ignore the deafening fear that was pounding in his head. This wasn't the end. This wasn't how any of this ended. Neil was not going to bleed to death in his arms or in the passenger seat of his fucking car. It wasn't going to happen.

Neil was blinking in and out of consciousness at an alarming rate. One moment he would be relatively lucid, looking up at Andrew with those big eyes and blinking like there was nothing wrong with him and then the next those same eyes would be sealed shut and Andrew was just sure that the boy was dead. He wasn't trained for any of this. The best he could do in the moment was taking off his own shirt and press it firmly against Neil's knife wound. It did the trick for the moment as the bleeding seemed to have slowed since the application of force but he knew he couldn't drive and keep the pressure on Neil without killing both of them which kind of ruined the entire point anyway. Any help from Neil was also pointless, he could barely keep his eyes open let alone apply enough force to the shirt to stop the flow of blood from his body.

Andrew hobbled around to his trunk with Neil still pressed against his side and let out a deep sigh of relief as the trunk popped open and he saw the silver roll of duct tape sitting in the middle of it. He couldn't remember the exact reason he had it in his car but none of that mattered right now.

“Neil,” Andrew huffed, “I need to take your shirt off.”

“No...” Neil mumbled, “Can't see...me...ugly...not good enough.”

“Neil!” Andrew snapped, his nerve endings were frayed wires that were pumping electricity into his body and he could barely keep his temper in check, “Don't be fucking stupid. I need to drive and I can't keep pressure on this and do that at the same time. I need to tape this to your body as tight as I fucking can and I can't do that with your shirt on. Do you want to die in the middle of the street like this?”

“I always figured I would.” Neil coughed.

“Stop saying shit like that!” Andrew growled, “I'm not letting you die on me you idiot!”

“I've already made peace with it.” Neil said, smiling softly. All it did was piss Andrew off even more.

“Shut the fuck up,” Andrew whispered, his voice deadly and trembling, “you may have but I haven't and you're not dying on me.”

“Unless you kill me yourself?” Neil laughed. It was a sickeningly wet laugh and Neil ended up coughing up a terrifying amount of blood.

“I'll kill you after I save your life.” Andrew shook his head and placed a firm hand on the back of Neil neck and gave it a squeeze. “Any more complaints and I'm taping your mouth shut too. Stupid martyr.”

Neil only looked away as Andrew pulled his shirt over his head. The idiot was so worried about him seeing the scars he'd already seen. Neil was dying and _that_ was what he was worried about. Andrew shook his head and grabbed Neil's hand and placed it against his tattoo on his chest, he moved Neil's fingers for him so he would realize they were right on top of the raised skin of the hot iron scar. A truth for a truth. It settled Neil, somewhat, and he began to trace lazy patterns into Andrew's skin as he propped Neil up against the side of the car and circled his body with the duct tape, pulling it tight against the bloody shirt that pressed over his wound.

He watched the shirt to see if the blood would start to pool through or under it and let out a small sigh of relief when everything seemed to stay in place for now. It was OK for the moment but he wasn't delusional enough to think he could take Neil back to the hotel room and stitch him up with the first aid kit. He needed a doctor and not just for the knife wound but for the burns on his face and arms.

“No hospitals,” Neil whispered and Andrew was absolutely sure now that Neil could read minds as well as see the future, “Once they realize we're not dead, that’ll be the first place they're going to look. They have people everywhere. We can't trust anyone.”

Andrew pounded a flat palm against the pavement. Repeatedly. They were alone in a different city with no one they could trust. If they were back in LA he'd at least have options but in San Diego they were left blowing in the wind. Unless...fuck. It was a terrible idea, something he knew he'd regret later but that didn't matter in the moment. If he wanted to save Neil then he needed to find the only doctor in the entire fucking city he thought he could trust. His brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so don't hate me and before you kill me the original ending was supposed to be the "you were amazing" but i thought that might be too terribly mean of a cliffhanger so the actual ending scene is really what WAS the beginning of the next chapter


	18. Reprise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> disclaimer: i am not a doctor, i just watch one on tv. the medical procedures represented in this chapter are probably completely improbable but people also have superpowers so, like, no biggie.

 

>  

 

 

 

 

XVIII

Reprise

 

 

“NICKY!” Andrew growled into his cell phone, “I need you to listen to me and answer only the questions I ask. For once in your life, please just do what I say. Understand?”

“Uh...” Nicky trailed off, “Yeah.”

“Good.” Andrew took a deep breath, “Do you know if Aaron is at the hospital tonight.”

“What?” Nicky gasped, “Why do you want to know about Aaron?”

“Nicky, goddammit. Just answer the question.” Andrew snapped.

The other line was silent for a long moment before Nicky spoke again, “I, uh, I don't think so. I talked to him after I read the article and he said he was taking a few days off to relax while Katelyn took their daughter out of town.”

“Good,” Andrew said, mostly to himself, “Text me his address.”

“Andrew! What is going on?” Nicky just couldn't contain himself.

“Nicky, I am hanging up the phone. You are going to send me my brother’s address and we will talk about this later.” Andrew closed his eyes and tightened his grip on the steering wheel.

“OK but-” Andrew hung up the phone before Nicky could continue.

“I get to meet your brother?” Neil mumbled from below Andrew.

Andrew looked down at the pale boy below him and grimaced. Neil was stretched across the passenger’s side seat with his head resting on Andrew's lap. Every now and then he would start to fade out and Andrew would flick him on the side of the head until he regained consciousness and started to mutter a string of expletives at him. The words didn't matter, as long as Neil didn't fall asleep then he had a better chance.

“Yeah,” Andrew said, looking down at Neil, “and we're going to find out how good of a doctor he is.”

“He's a _pediatric_ doctor, Andrew.” Neil sighed.

“It's a good thing you look like a child then, isn't it?” Andrew rolled his eyes. It was getting harder and harder to keep up this front for Neil.

Andrew's phone buzzed on the dashboard with the address to his brother’s house. He copied it over from the text and plugged it into his GPS system. They were only 20 minutes away, which didn't seem like much but Neil didn't look like he had 20 minutes. Andrew shook his head and flicked on the emergency lights and pulled out into the road determined to break every speed limit imaginable.

“I didn't know this had the flashy lights.” Neil said.

“Yep.” Andrew nodded as he pushed his foot down even further on the gas, “Tell me something, Neil.”

“What?” Neil asked.

Andrew shrugged, whatever would keep the guy talking and lucid would do, “I don't know. What's your happiest memory?”

“Hmm…” Neil trailed off, “I don't think I have any that don't have to do with you.”

“Me?” Andrew let out a halfhearted laugh, “There's got to be something.”

“Every good memory I have always ends badly because of something or other.” Neil said with a shaky voice.

It was a terrible topic, Andrew knew this, but it was the first thing that came to his mind in the middle of everything. He didn't have many great memories either so he couldn't even offer up something in exchange but he couldn't think of any kind of subject change.

“I guess...” Neil whispered, “I guess one thing I think of sometimes is a good week the doctor, Mary, and I had. One time we managed to make it far enough away from the people who were after us and we went into the woods for a week to hide out after we stole some camping gear.”

Andrew rounded the next corner and sped through the red light of the intersection, “The woods?”

Neil let out another wet cough before continuing, “Yeah, she said it was safer than motels. We found a really nice spot and stayed there for almost a week. The stars were so beautiful at night, Andrew. We ate food that was cooked by the fire and it almost felt like a vacation from everything. An entire week in one place where we didn't have to run or look over our shoulders. A week where I didn't have to wonder if the person behind us on the road was going to try and kill us or something.”

“I've never been camping.” Andrew said as he looked down at Neil's face pressed into his thigh. The color was still slowly draining from his normally tan cheeks.

“It's nice.” Neil smiled, “Can we go sometime?”

“Sure,” Andrew whispered, reaching down to run his hand through Neil's hair, “Just don't tell Nicky. He's always wanted to drag me out into the woods for 'glamping'”

“That sounds fun.” Neil coughed out another wet laugh, “I remember the last night before we moved on I fell asleep outside. She tried to make me come into the tent but I just wanted to keep looking at the stars because I didn't know when I'd see them like _that_ again. I woke up in the morning and something was tickling my face and I opened my eyes, scared out of my mind, and tried to grab for any kind of weapon...”

“What was it?” Andrew asked as he made the final turn before he got to Aaron's house.

“It was a fox!” Neil smiled, “A wild fox was sniffing my face! It was the weirdest thing; but it was almost like, I don't know, but it let me pet it and I fed it a leftover hot dog and everything.”

“Hmm,” Andrew hummed, “Risky. Could have bitten you and given you rabies.”

“Maybe,” Neil whispered, “but it was nice.”

“My college mascot was a fox.” Andrew added.

“I figured as much,” Neil coughed again, “what with the giant orange sweater that says foxes on it. Must be why I like it so much.”

“Must be,” Andrew said, “No bad memories with that one?”

“Not really,” Neil shook his head in Andrew's lap, “I told her afterwards and she hit me in the back of the head and told me I should have killed it in case we got stranded without food.”

Andrew didn't respond. He turned off the lights and the siren of his car and pulled into Aaron's front driveway. This was the last scenario he ever pictured himself in when he had a reunion with his brother. Neither he nor his twin particularly liked each other, most of which was Andrew's doing through years of pushing him away after he found out Aaron existed, but he hoped that the bleeding human in his arms would take precedent over any ill feelings his brother had towards him.

He got out of the car and flew around to the passenger’s side, gently pulling Neil from the car as he tried not to disturb any of the burns on his body, and cradled him against his chest. He could only imagine the phone calls that nosy neighbors were giving the police at the moment about the short shirtless man who just pulled a dead body out of his car. He didn't give a single fuck.

Neil hissed in pain as Andrew pulled him closer and began to make the walk up the driveway. Aaron's house was a Stepford nightmare with too green grass and a too perfect white picket fence. He couldn't make out the color of the walls in the moonlight but he was sure it was something terribly pastel or just plain white. He climbed the few steps of the front porch and pulled Neil in closer as he delivered a few swift kicks to the door in a random pattern. The asshole better not be asleep. He waited for a few seconds before kicking the door again.

“Police!” Andrew barked, “Open the door!”

“Hold on, hold on,” A voice from behind the door said, obviously annoyed, “I'm coming.”

A few moments later the door swung open and Andrew pushed himself past his brother and into the house, “Where can I put him?”

“What the fuck?” Aaron gasped, “Who the fuck are you? What the hell? Why is he covered in blood? Why are you not wearing a shirt?”

Andrew shook his head and turned around to look his brother dead in the eye. Aaron's face went pale white as he registered just who had made his way into his home uninvited.

He looked back at his brother who was a mirror image in the face only. Aaron was noticeably scrawnier than he was and Andrew wondered if he had any muscle on him at all. His hair was longer and messy from sleep, and his eyes were hidden behind a pair of wire frame glasses.

“Hi, Dr. Spear,” Andrew said, “I need your help.”

 

<O>

 

AARON Spear led a surprisingly normal life. He had a wonderful wife, Katelyn, whom he met his sophomore year of college. They met one Friday night in the campus library. He was a star student with a full ride scholarship and she was a cheerleader who was just struggling to keep her average up so she could stay on the team. They were polar opposite and she had almost an entire foot on him when it came to height. Everyone said they would never make it and they would break up before the first semester was done, they even bet on it. But they made it work, they stayed together through the remainder of college and she followed him to Harvard Medical School. There she put her communications degree to use and got a job at a local PR firm in Boston while he spent his days in classes before starting his eventual residency.

They got married during his final year of medical school and had a child at the beginning of the second year of his residency at Boston General. His daughter, Cassandra, was the light of his life. From the first moment he held her he promised to the universe that he would love her until the day he died. He spent most of his life wondering how his birth mother could give him up for adoption and that day didn't provide him with any answers, it only left him with more questions.

His daughter was named after his mother, Cassandra Spear. She had adopted him when he was only a year old shortly after the death of her only son, Drake, in a terrible car accident. Aaron had only ever seen pictures of Drake but every time he looked at one he got an odd feeling. He was glad he never knew his adoptive brother.

Cass was a wonderful mother. She raised him from the very beginning to be the man he was today. She helped him with his homework; made sure he always had a lunch to take to school, and held him at night when he cried because of his nightmares. She was the main reason as to why he never sought out any information on his birth mother. He already had the perfect mom and had no interest in learning anything about the one that had left him behind. She died a few years back in a quick battle with cancer.

That was, until his 20h birthday when he got a call from a strange number from South Carolina. The high pitched voice on the other end of the line wished him a happy birthday before proclaiming to be his cousin. The voice turned out to belong to a Nicholas Hemmick who promptly added him on Facebook and sent him a dozen pictures of himself and his, apparently, twin brother, Andrew. That day shocked Aaron to his core.

Nicky and Andrew ended up driving the few hours that was between them to meet a few weeks later. It was a terribly awkward experience and his brother wanted nothing to do with him. He exchanged numbers with both of them and kept in decent contact with Nicky but Andrew never made an effort to stay in touch. Over the years he learned more and more from Nicky about Andrew's life and his birth mother. He learned how terrible of a person Tilda Minyard was and how she used to beat his brother every single day until she died in a car accident while Andrew was at school. He could understand why Andrew would want nothing to do with him and he respected it. He never pushed and he never tried to talk to his brother first. They had both gotten along in their lives without each other up until that point and they would continue on just fine.

Now they lived only a little over an hour apart, and had for a few years, and they were still basically strangers. Which is why he was more than a little surprised to be woken up in the middle of the night to find his brother shirtless, covered in blood, holding a guy who looked like he was seconds away from death, and beating down his door.

“Andrew!” Aaron gasped as he pushed his glassed back up the bridge of his nose, “What the hell?”

Andrew pierced him with angry eyes, “I don't have time to explain right now, Aaron. He's dying and you need to fix it.”

“This man clearly needs a hospital, I can make a call to one of my colleagues and have someone waiting for him when you get there.” Aaron crossed the room and picked his phone up off of the side table.

“No.” A muffled voice came from the direction Andrew was standing, “No hospitals. Not safe.”

“Andrew,” Aaron shook his head, “Who is this? What the hell is going on? Why is a hospital not safe?”

Andrew pushed his way further into the house and eventually found the dining room. Aaron chased after him and winced as he heard a large crash come from the same room. He rounded the corner to find everything that was once on the table now scattered about the floor.

“He's my...partner.” Andrew said as he lowered the boy to the table.

“Partner?” Aaron raised an eyebrow. He'd learned from Nicky that both he and his brother were gay, which didn't bother him in the slightest though he was concerned as to how Andrew's bloody boyfriend ended up on his dining table.

“FBI partner!” Andrew growled, “We're working a case out here and we got...ambushed by the people we were after. They have guys all over the city and a hospital isn't safe for Neil.”

Aaron nodded and flexed his back; that made more sense. “Tell me what happened.”

“He was stabbed in the side.” Andrew said, “He pulled the knife out.”

“Well, that wasn't very smart.” Aaron said.

“That's what Drew said.” The person on the table half laughed, half coughed.

He turned on the sink in the kitchen and began disinfecting his hands, “There's a box of latex gloves under the counter. I need you to pull them out for me, Andrew.”

Andrew nodded and pulled the box out from under the counter and stepped to the side again.

“Now,” Aaron said calmly, “wash your hands and put on a pair of gloves yourself. Then take out two more and put them on my hands for me.”

“Aaron!” Andrew snapped, “He's fucking dying!”

“I understand that, Andrew. But he has some very serious burns in addition to all the other injuries, there's no use saving him from those if he dies from an infection because we didn't properly sanitize ourselves. We're already working in a less than ideal environment because my dining room is not meant to be used as an operating room, so we need to minimize the risk wherever we can.”

Andrew was silent as he followed Aaron's orders. He could tell that his brother was more worried about the man on the table than he was letting on and it was very obvious that he didn't want to cede control of him even thought he was the one who brought him there in the first place.

“OK, good.” Aaron nodded once he was clad in a pair of gloves, “Andrew, go upstairs and go to the second door on the left, it's our bedroom. Go to the master bathroom inside and under the sink there should be a black bag that has an older set of surgical supplies. Bring me the bag and any peroxide and rubbing alcohol you can find in there as well. There's also a bottle of Vicodin in the cabinet with Katelyn's name on it, bring that too because he's going to be in a lot of pain.”

Andrew nodded silently and Aaron listened as his brother took to the stairs. He turned his attention back to the person bleeding onto his kitchen table and smiled softly, the same smile he gives to children when he's about to tell them they have an inoperable condition, “Hi, my name is Aaron. Can you tell me your name?"

“N-Ne, Neil.” Neil stuttered.

“Good,” Aaron smiled again, “Hi, Neil. I'm going to do my best to take care of you, OK? Can you tell me what hurts the most right now?”

“Everything...feels kind of...numb? I think?” Neil rasped.

Shit. That wasn't good. “Neil, you've lost a lot of blood so I need you to move as little as possible. Everything I'm going to do is going to hurt a lot but I need you to stay as still as possible.”

“OK,” Neil smiled, “Don't worry, if I start moving too much I'm sure D-Drew will hold me down.”

“Drew, huh?” Aaron smiled as he began to take stock of Neil's various injuries.

“Don't even think about it.” Andrew growled from behind him as he sat the bag on the side of the table along with everything else he was tasked to get.

“The cabinet next to the fridge has tupperware in it, get out the two biggest bowls you can find and fill one with the rubbing alcohol and the other with the peroxide. When you're done with that drop everything metal in the bag into the bowl with the alcohol and then bring both bowls over to me.”

Andrew nodded and turned back towards the kitchen.

Aaron popped open the bottle of Vicodin and turned back to Neil, “Do you know if you're allergic to Vicodin, Neil?”

“No,” Neil said, “I've taken it before, it's fine.”

“Good,” Aaron said as he pulled out a pill and broke it in half, “I'm only giving you half of one because I'm going to need you semi lucid for this but it should help with the pain.”

“I'm used to the pain.” Neil smiled and closed his eyes as he swallowed the pill.

Andrew returned with both bowls just as Aaron asked and then started to hover. He walked to the other side of Neil and slightly placed his hand on top of his and gave it a small squeeze before leaning down and whispering to him, “Don't be an idiot and leave me behind.”

Aaron was beginning to reconsider what type of partners they were. He pulled the duct tape off of Neil's body, ignoring all the scars that littered the boy’s body, and peeled back the sticky shirt that was covering the knife wound. It was only trickling blood by this point which was both good and bad, it meant that the bleeding was beginning to stop because the wound had clotted but also that Neil had already lost a dangerous amount of blood. Still, Andrew's improvised tourniquet saved Neil's life. “You did well with this.” he told Andrew, “He would be dead by now if you didn't stop the bleeding as well as you did.”

“Make sure he stays that way.” Andrew sighed as he squeezed Neil's hand again.

“These burns are very bad,” Aaron shook his head, “and in addition to all the cuts I have to stitch up along with the one on his side...his nose is also most likely broken. And all of that pales in comparison to the amount of blood he's lost.”

“What's the verdict?” Neil asked.

“I can sew you back up and take care of the burns, all of which is going to hurt like a bitch, but you need blood which means you need a hospital. Do you know your blood type?” Aaron asked.

“No idea.” Neil sighed.

“I'm O Negative.” Andrew said, “Give him my blood. There's got to be some way you can do that, right?”

“Shockingly,” Aaron laughed, “I actually do have a few empty blood bags somewhere upstairs. Don't ask.”

“Do it.” Andrew said.

Aaron let out a sigh and shook his head. It wasn't perfect, it probably wasn't ethical in some way, and it might very well be illegal because he had no idea what Andrew and Neil were involved in but he couldn't turn either of them away. He took a breath as he retrieved the disinfected surgical instruments from the alcohol and dipped the nose of a small bottle into the bowl of the peroxide and sucked up some of the liquid. Neil winced as he began to irrigate the knife wound with the peroxide and Andrew tightened his grip on the boy’s hand.

 

<O>

 

Andrew stood helpless in the doorway as he watched over Neil's sleeping form in one of the spare rooms of Aaron's house. He’d just gotten out of the shower after spending far longer than he thought he would to wash all of Neil's dried blood off of his body. He was wearing a plain white shirt and a pair of sweats he had borrowed from Aaron and he couldn't help but roll his eyes at what Nicky would say about him wearing his brother’s clothes.

It had been a long night filled with pain and screaming as Aaron cleaned and dressed all of Neil's burns after taking care of all of the knife wounds. Aaron had said he was optimistic about Neil's recovery but he needed to make sure none of the burns got infected, especially the one on his face. Andrew couldn't stop thinking about how Neil was going to react to that one whenever he finally woke up. Neil was already so self conscious about his scars and Andrew didn't know how well he was going to take having one that he couldn't easily hide. Andrew didn't care about the scars, Neil was alive and he made a silent promise to himself to help the reckless idiot through anything that came after this.

Andrew stilled as he felt the presence of a body behind him, “Aaron?”

“Who else would it be?” Aaron asked.

Andrew turned around to find his brother standing close behind him with a small plastic medical bag and a set of translucent tubing. He raised an eyebrow before Aaron finally spoke.

“I should draw your blood now while he's asleep,” Aaron nodded his head towards Neil's sleeping form, “I'm going to need to wake him right after to give it to him.”

“How much do you need?” Andrew asked and he stretched out his shoulders.

“I can only take one pint,” Aaron shrugged, “I'd feel better with more because I don't know exactly how much blood he's lost, but that's all I can safely take from you.”

“What if one pint isn't enough?” Andrew asked.

“Well, I'd say you need to take him to a hospital,” Aaron held his hand up to preemptively stop Andrew's protest, “But if he needs more then I'll just draw my own and hope that it will be enough for him. I'm O Negative too, it's not perfect but it's better and if we weren't universal donors then your friend in there would be dead.”

“Where do you want me?”

“I've got everything set up in the kitchen,” Aaron turned and headed towards the stairs and Andrew followed him.

The kitchen had been cleaned up fairly quickly and Andrew let out a small laugh, “I bet you could even eat off that table now.”

“Yeah,” Aaron shrugged, “I cleaned up while you were in the shower, I'm going to have to throw all the towels and the rest of the...evidence in the fire pit out back. Katelyn would have a fit if she saw any of it.”

Andrew took a seat at the edge of the table and held out his arm, he looked away as Aaron opened a pack of needles and began to put all the pieces together before he flicked Andrew's veins a few times. Andrew closed his eyes as Aaron pressed the needle into his skin and made contact with the vein, it wasn't the sting that bothered him so much as the needle itself.

“Sorry,” Aaron said, “I usually ask if people have a thing about getting their blood drawn.”

“It's not that,” Andrew shook his head, “It's...never mind.”

“Ah,” Aaron nodded, “Needle phobia?”

“I'm not scared of needles,” Andrew huffed, “They just bring back too many memories of...”

“Your mother,” Aaron whispered, “Or, well, our mother, I guess.”

“No,” Andrew snapped, “She wasn't your mother.”

“Sorry, I didn't mean to...” Aaron was cut off by Andrew.

“You should be thankful, not sorry.”

Aaron silently stood and walked back into the kitchen. When he came back he was only carrying a single paper towel, he draped it over Andrew's arm, covering the needle that was poking into his skin, “Sometimes not being able to see it helps people.”

Andrew blinked at the towel and took a deep breath in an attempt to relax himself, “I grew up finding needles all over the house, heroin,” Andrew sighed, “I don't have a thing about them but I try to avoid them the best I can.”

The air between them was silent and Andrew focused on the plastic bag that was slowly filling with blood. Aaron hadn't spoken for a few minutes when suddenly got up and left the room again, he was only gone for a few seconds and when he came back he was carrying a glass of juice in one hand a to-go package of Oreos in the other. He sat them on the table next to Andrew and then leaned back in his chair, “Do I need to be worried about this?”

“What do you mean?” Andrew asked, looking up at his brother.

“This,” Aaron waved his hands in an exaggerated sweeping gesture, “You, Neil, and whatever the fuck you've gotten yourself into. For starters, I know he isn't your partner so that's already one lie.”

“How do you know that?” Andrew narrowed his eyes.

“I talk to Nicky pretty regularly and he updates me on you sometimes,” Aaron sighed, “Last time I talked to him he mentioned that you haven't had a partner in six months or something since your last one died on the job.”

“Remind me to cut his fucking tongue out,” Andrew growled.

“Don't be such a dick to him, he's your family and he loves you.” Aaron sighed.

“Don't you dare tell me how to treat my cousin, you don't know anything,” Andrew glared, “If I wanted you to know about my life then I would tell you myself.”

“Well excuse me for wanting to stay informed,” Aaron snapped, “Though I do find the fact that you're so pissed off about the idea of me wanting to know about your life slightly ironic given the fact that you've barely spoken to me in the last decade yet still felt compelled to show up on my doorstep in the middle of the night, covered in blood, and holding a dying person in your arms.”

Andrew clenched his fist and let out a long breath, “Neil is a friend and he's someone important to the case I'm working on. Everything else I told you is true, he was hurt by the people I'm after and I can't take him to a hospital.”

“Do I need to be worried about those same people finding me?” Aaron asked cautiously.

“No,” Andrew spat, “Do you think I would come here if it put you in danger?”

“Do you want me to answer that question honestly?” Aaron rolled his eyes, “You haven't given a shit about me since you found out I existed, so why start now?”

“You can't possibly understand,” Andrew growled, “Just fucking drop it.”

“No,” Aaron huffed, “You're stuck here with me for at least a few more minutes so I'm going to make full use of that time.”

“Try me,” Andrew glared, “Don't think I won't just trail this bag of blood behind me while I walk away.”

“Right,” Aaron rolled his eyes, “How do you know they won't come after me or my family?”

Andrew let out another sigh and cracked his neck before he spoke, “Because at the moment they think we're both dead.”

“OK,” Aaron nodded, “How long do you think that will last?”

“Can't say for sure but probably not that much longer, when can Neil move?” Andrew asked.

“My professional opinion would be not for a long fucking time but I know you won't listen to that so I would say tomorrow at the earliest and that's only if he takes kindly to the infusion.” Aaron shrugged.

“Good,” Andrew nodded, “We'll be out of here by tomorrow evening then.”

Aaron was silent as he drew the needle out of Andrew's arm, he disappeared to the kitchen again and returned a few minutes later with more juice, cookies, and a band aid. He patched Andrew up and forced him to drink another glass before letting him get up.

“I'll be up in a minute to get Neil started on this,” Aaron said softly.

Andrew only nodded and made to head back upstairs. He stopped when he was halfway out of the room before turning around and looking back at Aaron, “For the record, I've been protecting you all of these years.”

Aaron looked back at him with a face twisted in confusion, “From what?”

Andrew let out a small, self mocking laugh, “From me.”

 

<O>

 

NEIL woke to a sudden change in pressure on the mattress. His eyes sprung open, alert and ready, the second he registered the slight dip on the left side of the bed. He attempted to strike out with his fist but immediately screamed out in pain when he raised his arm. His entire body felt like it was on fire and the pain burned through him worse than he had ever felt it before, even after the time he was shot.

“It's just me,” A voice said softly.

Neil closed his eyes and grit his teeth together as he tried to focus on anything else to shut down the pain. He blinked them open and looked up at the face that was looming over him. His brain was foggy for some reason and between that and the pain he felt like he could barely form any words, “Drew?” he finally slurred when he saw Andrew's face looking over him.

“Not quite,” Andrew smiled softly, Neil knew something was different then because he'd never seen such a tender smile on Andrew's face, “Neil, do you know where you are?”

“I,” Neil winced, “Who are you? Where am I? You're not Andrew...”

“Calm down, idiot,” A rough voice came from his right side, “Stop freaking out or you'll rip your stitches.”

Neil turned his head towards the other voice and for some reason gasped in pain when his cheek hit the pillow. He fought through the searing pain as his eyes focused on the man standing just outside his vision. He blinked a few times as the person stepped closer and he realized that this person _was_ Andrew.

“What?” Neil slurred, “Why...two of you?”

Neil turned his head back to the Andrew sitting on the side of the bed and found it harder to breathe as his Andrew came up behind the impostor. He began gasping for air as his throat closed up and his vision blurred around the edges.

“Hey!” Andrew snapped, “Calm down, Neil. Neil!”

“Neil,” The fake Andrew said, “You need to breathe.”

Neil _was_ breathing, he wanted to scream. Instead his voice rasped as he spoke, “Get away from me! Who are you?”

“I'm Aaron.”

“Aaron?” Neil choked, why did that sound so familiar?

“Dammit, Neil,” Andrew sighed as he placed his hand over Neil's forehead, “That's Aaron, my brother. I've told you about him.”

“Aaron,” Neil repeated, he felt his throat open up and swallowed a few large huffs of air, “Twin brother. Aaron.”

“Yeah,” Aaron said softly, “I'm going to need to take your arm to insert this needle into your vein and then we're going to get some more blood into your system. You've lost a lot and the sooner we start getting this into you the better you'll start feeling.”

“OK.” Neil mumbled.

“You're going to feel a small pinch,” Aaron said as he slipped the needle under Neil's skin.

Neil only blinked. He didn't realize that the needle had already found his vein until it was already under his skin, he didn't even feel the supposed pinch. He was too busy worrying about the searing pain from his face, “My face...it hurts. What happened?”

“Don't worry about that now,” Andrew shook his head, “Just try to relax. I'll get you another painkiller.”

Neil mostly ignored Andrew and let his free hand drift up to his face. He prodded at the area the pain stemmed from and found it covered in a large bandage. The second his fingers touched the top of the bandage he let out a yelp of pain and his face began to throb. His breath hitched and he felt his throat begin to close again. He tried to take shallow breathes but nothing was working. The edges of his vision began to blur once more and all he could think about was what had happened to his face and how bad it would look. He began to think of potential scars that ruined his ability to blend into a crowd, if his face was fucked up now then there was no way that people would ever ignore him again. People can never ignore someone who's so visibly fucked, it's just not in their nature.

“Neil!” Andrew's voice boomed, “I said don't worry about it right now.”

Neil couldn't manage a reply, he was too busy trying to remember how to breathe.

“Aaron, give us the room.” Andrew's voice came from somewhere in the corner of the room. Neil wasn't paying attention to him, he was too busy eyeing the bandages that covered his arms. If his arms were bandaged then that meant that something happened to them too and that meant scars in hard to cover areas.

Neil heard the door to the side of him open quickly and then close almost immediately after. He saw Andrew in the corner of his eye walk over to the door and then he heard the lock click. A few moments later a cool hand gripped the back of his neck and the bed shifted with the addition of another body.

“Andrew?” Neil whispered as he continued to look straight forward.

“It's me,” Andrew's voice came from his left hand side, “Breathe. It's just you and me.”

Neil blinked a few times before his hand drifted towards Andrew. He made contact with Andrew's thigh and tightened his grip, using the feeling of Andrew's tight muscles under his palm to ground him.

“Hi,” Neil said softly, finally turning his head towards Andrew.

Andrew sat there silent for a moment before he held his palm out and produced a small white pill, “Take this, it will help with the pain.”

Neil nodded and took the pill and placed it on his tongue. Andrew handed him a glass of water next and Neil drank the entire thing in almost one gulp. He was careful not to move too much as to not disturb the bag of blood that was hanging over his head and feeding down into his body.

“Where did the blood come from?” Neil asked, suddenly realizing how odd it was that Aaron just happened to have blood in his apartment.

“It's mine,” Andrew said, “Hope you don't mind.”

“Hmm,” Neil hummed, “I guess I'm stuck with you for real now.”

Andrew rolled his eyes and leaned back on the bed slightly, propping himself up on his elbows, “Do you remember anything?”

“Bits and pieces,” Neil said softly, his brain was beginning to reconnect itself; he could remember Brian appearing and he could remember flaming hands on his body, and face, and fuck, “I don't want to think about it right now. Are you OK?”

“A few scrapes,” Andrew sighed, “Mostly thanks to you, you stupid martyr.”

“I'm not going to apologize for saving your life,” Neil said, the memory of him ripping the knife out of his own body and using it to kill Brian to save Andrew rushed back to him in quick flashes, “I couldn't watch you die.”

“What?” Andrew snapped, “You couldn't watch me die but you were totally fine with me watching you die? I knew you were stupid and reckless but...fuck Neil.”

“I...” Neil trailed off, “I'm sorry.”

“That's it?” Andrew shook his head, “You're sorry?”

“I don't know what else to say, Andrew,” Neil sighed, “I don't know how to do anything when it comes to you. All I knew was that I couldn't let you die.”

“You're an idiot.” Andrew growled.

“I know,” Neil said, “Believe me, I know.”

“Just rest, Neil,” Andrew said as he got up from the bed.

“Wait!” Neil gasped, his voice panicked, “Don't leave me?”

Andrew looked at him for a minute and Neil waited as Andrew ran through whatever thoughts were going through his head. He let out a huff of air and lowered himself back onto the bed next to Neil.

“Stop talking,” Andrew said, “You need to relax.”

Neil was silent for as long as he could bare it, which was about thirty seconds, “I...”

“What?” Andrew sighed.

“Never mind,” Neil frowned,

“Dammit, Neil, just say whatever you were going to say.”

Neil took a deep breath. He knew he was probably making a mistake and that what he was about to do had the potential to change whatever relationship he had with Andrew forever, for better or worse. But he couldn't keep it inside any longer, even if it was a mistake, because almost dying had made him realize a few things. And he couldn't take the thought of either he or Andrew dying before he finally got this off his chest, “Back in your apartment, before the phone rang and everything went to shit,”

“Don't,” Andrew said, “Not now. This isn't the time or place.”

“Nowhere is the time or place, Andrew,” Neil snapped, more so out of confusion and shock that Andrew might know where he was heading with this line, “One of us could have died tonight, both of us almost did.”

Andrew sat there silent as a stone pillar in the middle of the bed.

“Before the phone rang...I wanted to-” Neil was cut off by Andrew leaning forward, he held out a finger to silence Neil and placed it lightly on top of his chapped lips. Neil's eyes went wide and his breath hitched as Andrew moved in closer

“God dammit,” Andrew muttered, “Yes or no?”

Neil thought he knew exactly what Andrew was asking permission for and he opened his mouth to answer but words wouldn't come out. He tried again but could only produce another hoarse rasp. He settled on furiously nodding his head and hoped that would convey his answer.

Andrew looked at him for a long moment, his eyes narrowed as if they were scrutinizing Neil's every move. Andrew bit the top of his own lip before letting out another sigh, he closed his eyes and leaned forward until his lips pressed against Neil's.

Neil's body went stiff for a moment before it relaxed under the gravity of Andrew's kiss. He felt a stale breath escape his mouth as his own lips parted slightly to allow Andrew to press himself even closer. Neil smiled against Andrew's mouth as he curiously flicked his own tongue forward and shivered when it met Andrews. Neil's body melted underneath Andrew's heat and he sighed into Andrew's mouth.

Andrew's kiss was an answer to a question Neil never knew he had been asking for his entire life.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT FINALLY HAPPENED. 
> 
> if you've stuck along for the last 82K words (which holy fucking shit) then THANK YOU and hopefully it all paid off. i know this was a long and busy chapter and lots os shit happened but i really, really love it and when i was coming up with the entire concept for this story this chapter was the first one i ever thought of and everything kinda snowballed from there so i'm really attached to it and look forward to any comments because this chapter took almost a week for me to get perfect because i needed it to be the best
> 
> find me on [tumblr ](https://lscar123.tumblr.com/)if you want to yell at me


	19. Five By Five

 

XIX

Five By Five

 

ANDREW was sure he had made a mistake. In fact, he had almost never been more sure of anything in his life. Did he want to kiss Neil? Absolutely. Did he want that kiss to happen while Neil was still half dead and delirious from blood loss? Not a chance in hell. But here he was, sitting on the bed in the spare room of his estranged twin brothers house with his lips pressed against Neil's.

Andrew broke the kiss first and placed a soft hand on Neil's shoulder to literally keep Neil at arms length. He raked his eyes over Neil's face in an attempt to find any kind of apprehension or disgust. It helped exactly zero of his problems when the only expression he saw on Neil's face was some kind of flushed happiness.

“That was...” Neil whispered, “Wow.”

“Did you really want that?” Andrew asked, he had to know for sure.

“Of course,” Neil said, “I wanted it in your apartment and then I wanted it in the motel room after I calmed down from my freak out.”

Andrew sighed and leaned back on the bed and further away from Neil, between everything that had happened he didn't really have a chance to analyze the way Neil recoiled from him in the motel room but he figured now was as good of a time as any to lay it all out there, “Why did you react like that in the room?”

Neil chewed on his lip, because of course he would, and Andrew had to bite his own tongue to stop himself from leaning in for another kiss. Neil was so oblivious to everything and it honestly wasn't any fucking fair.

“Because,” Neil finally said after a few moments of hesitation, “Because I felt something I didn't know was possible and it was more or less beat into me my entire like that I never would, or should, feel something like that. I got scared and I felt guilty, like I was somehow disgracing her memory after everything she sacrificed to save me.”

“She may have saved you from one horror, Neil, but it's not like she was that much better to you.” Andrew shook his head.

“I know...but still...” Neil frowned and Andrew didn't let himself continue on with that line of conversation. He knew more than anyone about the complicated and conflicting feelings that abuse left behind.

“What changed?” Andrew asked, “What changed between that moment and now?”

“I realized something,” Neil smiled, “I realized that she was gone and that I wasn't. I'm alive, I have a name, I have a home, and I feel safe and all of those are things I never thought I could have so who's to say that I couldn't have...”

Andrew filled in the final blank of that sentence and sighed, “I'm not someone who people want to have, Neil.”

Neil only rolled his eyes, which humored Andrew more than angered him, “You do know who you're talking to right?”

“Shut up,” Andrew scoffed, “I don't want you...wanting me or kissing me just because I'm the first fucking person who's ever been nice to you.”

“You're only nice to me, like, half of the time,” Neil rolled his eyes again, “And that isn't why I wanted any of this. I can't explain it because I've never felt it before but I know it's more than just because you bought me things or let me stay with you...or that you don't hurt me.”

“This is the last thing that we should be focusing on right now,” Andrew shook his head, “You still look like you could drop dead at any second and they're going to realize that we didn't die in that fire soon, if they haven't already. I'm sure the bureau is in panic mode too, or at least Wymack will be.”

“It's fine,” Neil nodded, “We don't ever have to talk about it or do anything again, I just wanted it to finally be out there just in case something bad happened.”

Andrew closed his eyes and sucked in a deep breath before standing from the bed and walking back to the bedroom door, before unlocking it and stepping into the hallway he turned back to Neil, “Shut up and get some rest, we're leaving in the morning.”

 

<O>

 

NEIL slowly blinked awake in the middle of the night. He had no idea what time it was and didn't know how long it had been since Andrew had left him to get some sleep. The room was dark and it took a few moments for his eyes to adjust to blackness before he was able to make out the rough layout of the room. The bed was comfortable enough but he willed his body into action by sitting up in bed with a small wince and swinging his legs to the edge of the bed. He steadied himself for another moment before pressing his feet into the carpet and standing.

He was washed with a sense of deja vu as the memories of that first morning in Andrew's apartment came back to him. He would have rolled his eyes at the fact that he was in yet another situation like this if it didn't hurt too much to actually accomplish. He took a few steps towards the light switch on the wall and flicked it on, shutting his eyes as they were flooded with bright light from above.

After a few seconds he was able to see without pain and that was when he noticed the mirror perched on the back of a large chest near the window. He looked at it for several long moments before balling his hands into fists and walking towards it. Even just looking at his reflection then, still covered and bandaged, he knew he wasn't going to like what he saw when he took the bandages off. His eyes were bloodshot and his hair stood on end, there were bruises already forming all over his body in spots that he could only vaguely remember taking a hit. The stark white bandages stuck out like flashing neon signs against his tan skin and he reached a hesitant hand down to peel the first one off of his left arm.

Neil grimaced as the skin caught against the soft gauze as he peeled it off of his arm. He dropped into a deep well of panic the second that the first bandage hit the floor and he saw the semi-circular burn that was pressed into his skin. The area around the fleshy pink splotch was black and charred and he instantly felt his stomach drop out. His movements devolved into a frantic mania as he ripped the bandages off one after the other in a frenzy of panic. Seconds later he was gazing into the mirror, horrified at the person looking back at him. Both of his arms were littered with small burn marks that made a path up towards his chest.

Their origin came back to him suddenly, the memory hitting him like a train at full speed and splattering his brain into pieces inside his own head. He could see the smile on Brian's face as he held up two burning fingers and pressed Neil against the wall. He took the two burning tips and held them to Neil's arms and began to walk them up the length of it as Neil screamed from the pain. He all but managed to stay standing upright, if only because he knew falling to the ground would hurt more than anything.

He knew there were various other cuts on his body that would scar, especially the knife wound in his side, but he didn't care about those. He was used to those types of scars. He wasn't used to what he knew he would find behind the bandage on his face. His hands began to tremble as he held it up gently to the square sheet of gauze that was taped to his cheek. He closed his eyes as he began to peel it away from his skin and kept them closed even as the bandage came off and joined the others on the floor around his feet.

The door behind him pushed open at the same moment Neil opened his eyes and he caught Andrew's reflection behind him before he took in the sight of his own newly scarred face. Neil's eye's went wide and he struggled to speak as he focused on the red and pink splotched burnt flesh that now adorned his cheek.

“Neil! What the fuck?” Andrew growled as he moved to his side, “What the fuck are you doing?”

“I...” Neil trailed off, “I had to see.”

“You're supposed to keep these covered, do you want them to get infected? I can promise they would look a million times worse if they did.” Andrew scolded him.

“I'm sorry,” Neil frowned, his eyes still locked with his own reflection.

“Stop that,” Andrew commanded, “Stop looking at it.”

“I can't,” Neil mumbled, “No one will be able to.”

“Yes you can,” Andrew snapped, “Look at me, Neil.”

Neil shook his head, he couldn't turn away from the reflection. He had a blindingly obvious face now and he would never be able to hide again. His biggest weapon, his anonymity, was all but gone now. “I can't hide anymore.”

“Is that a problem?” Andrew asked, “Were you planning on running again?”

The two questions snapped Neil back into reality faster than he'd anticipated. He finally tore his eyes from the mirror and turned his head to face Andrew. Andrew looked at him with an impassive stare and Neil shook his head, “No.”

His face was distinct now, for sure, but did it really matter? If he was truly fine with the idea of staying with Andrew for as long as possible then maybe it was something useless to worry about. Neil didn't care about his physical beauty so the new gnarled aspect of his face didn't touch on any of those worries, it only made him panic because he couldn't hide in plain sight anymore. But if he was truly honest about not wanting to hide anymore then it didn't matter.

“Don't move,” Andrew said, “I'm going to get new bandages and the antibacterial stuff that Aaron wrote himself a prescription for, you need to apply it every 12 hours and it's going to hurt like a bitch so I hope you're excited.”

“I'm glad your brother is the doctor and not you,” Neil laughed softly, “Your bed side manner is fucking terrible.”

“Bite me.” Andrew rolled his eyes.

“I only just kissed you a few hours ago, don't you think that's moving a little too fast?” Neil smirked.

Andrew glared at him before silently turning his back to Neil and walking out of the room.

Neil spared the mirror no more glances, instead he picked up a towel off of the floor and draped it over the glass.

Andrew reentered the room a few minutes later and his eyes directly darted to the mirror, “You moved.” Andrew deadpanned.

“Did not.” Neil shrugged.

“So you're telekinetic now?” Andrew rolled his eyes.

“Maybe,” Neil smiled, “I haven't tried yet.”

Andrew sighed and motioned for Neil to stay put while he arranged the bandages on the edge of the bed. He laid out each strip in a meticulous line and popped the top of the cream off and sat it on the dresser. Neil realized as he watched Andrew's hands work that he had gotten a pair of latex gloves from somewhere and put them on. Andrew sat a line of q-tips on a paper towel next to the cap from the bottle and then looked over his handiwork and gave it a satisfied nod.

Andrew picked up a q-tip and squeezed a generous amount of ointment on it before looking Neil directly in his eyes, “I'm going to do your face first and it's going to hurt.”

“I'm fine,” Neil gave Andrew a half hearted smile and closed his eyes.

Andrew gave him no further warning before he dabbed the ointment onto Neil's burnt skin. The pain was immediate and would have been blinding if Neil's eyes weren't already closed. He gasped as Andrew dabbed the q-tip multiple times on his burnt skin before proceeding to rub it in in a circular motion. He felt like his already delicate skin was being torn open all over again and it only got worse as the stinging from the antibacterial ointment set in. He could hear the sharp, pained yelps that were spilling out of his mouth uninhibited and he tried to bite his lip to stop them from escaping.

“Stop that,” Andrew scolded, “You're going to split your lip if you keep biting it.”

“Sorry,” Neil mumbled, “It's hurts.”

Andrew didn't say anything as he finished with the burn on Neil's face. He threw the q-tip in the garbage and placed the bandage over the wound, smoothing out the rough edges, and held Neil back at arms length to look at him.

“Sit on the edge of the bed,” Andrew said.

Neil nodded and lowered himself to the bed. Andrew sat next to him and repeated the process for all the burns on his arms, first cleaning each one, then applying the disinfectant, and then the bandage. It was a terribly painful process and by the time Andrew was finished there were tears leaking out of the side of one of Neil's eyes. Andrew noticed it immediately and stopped what he was doing, reached up with his thumb, and gently wiped away the tear from Neil's cheek.

The entire process took close to half an hour and Neil could feel his eyes growing tired by the time Andrew was done. The combination of the pain, the late hour, and Andrew's soft touch seemed to be lulling him back to sleep. Neil tried to hide his growing exhaustion from Andrew the best that he could, he knew that at the first sign of tiredness Andrew would leave him alone to get some sleep. Neil didn't want to be left alone, he didn't want to lose the solid presence of Andrew at his side, he knew that the second he was left to his own devices in a dark room without nothing to think about except for the events of earlier and his wounds that the nightmares would come out in full force.

Unfortunately for Neil, his body had other plans. Neil stretched his neck to the side as an involuntary yawn slipped from his mouth. He immediately clamped a hand over his mouth, wincing when he came into contact with the bandage on his cheek. Andrew's eyes flicked to him immediately and narrowed and as Neil tried to offer up a wry smile Andrew rolled his eyes.

Andrew stood from the bed and lightly placed his hand in the center of Neil's bare chest to push him backwards. Andrew's hand felt impossibly warm against his scarred skin and he couldn't help but want for the other man to leave it there longer. Andrew drew his hand back and walked to the door, flicking the light off as he went.

“Wait!” Neil gasped as Andrew set one foot out of the door, “Andrew...don't leave?”

Andrew looked back at him and Neil could hardly make out Andrew's expression in the dark but he assumed it wasn't a happy one as the door continued open and Andrew stepped out into the hallway and closed it back behind him. Neil frowned as the claustrophobic darkness began to seep into him and he knew that no matter how tired he was he wouldn't be able to sleep.

Neil tensed as the door to the room opened once again and he could see Andrew now, his eyes having finally adjusted to the dark of the room. Andrew stood in the doorway with a pillow cradled under his arm and a blanket draped around his shoulders. He was silent as he walked to the side of Neil's bed and threw the pillow onto the ground next to the bed before lowering himself to the floor and dropping his head on the pillow. Andrew kicked the blanket until it settled into place over his body and Neil watched him fidget for a few seconds to get comfortable.

“Go to sleep,” Andrew whispered.

Andrew's mere presence seemed to ward off the darkness that had encroached upon Neil only a few seconds earlier. Neil smiled and gave Andrew one last look before closing his own eyes. He could feel Andrew's solid presence near him even with his eyes closed and he couldn't believe the level of safety even something as simple as that provided him.

“Thank you,” Neil whispered. Andrew didn't reply.

Neil hesitated for a moment before making his next move. He waited until he thought Andrew might possibly have fallen asleep, if only to give his mind a plausible reason in case of rejection, before he slowly slipped his arm off of the bed and let it hang down towards Andrew. Neil stretched out his fingers in the general direction of Andrew below him and waited for what seemed like an eternity. He could hear the ticking of the clock in the corner in the otherwise deafeningly silent room and just as he was about to abandon his position he felt a light touch on his hand, a finger drawing small circles in his palm. Neil's hand twitched at the sudden contact but he soon relaxed into the soothing feeling of Andrew's touch, his eyes grew heavier and he soon drifted off to sleep.

Neil could have sworn he felt the press of Andrew's lips against the back of his hand in the moment before he lost consciousness but he couldn't be entirely sure it wasn't already a dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i can confirm that andrew did, in fact, kiss neil's hand before he fell asleep


	20. Reunion

 

 

 

XX

Reunion

 

ANDREW woke first the following morning as the sunlight filtered through the cracked blinds in the room. His eyes first found the clock to check the time; it was just about 7am. He let out a silent yawn before turning his head and finding that his hand was still interlaced with Neil's. Gently, he removed his hand from Neil's and stilled for a moment as Neil mumbled something in his sleep before drawing his arm back up to his chest and nuzzling the non-bandaged side of his cheek back into his pillow. Neil always looked good in the morning, when he first woke up with his already unruly hair an absolute tragedy of tangles after a night of sleep and his blue eyes glossy as they adjusted to the new day, but this was the first time Andrew had ever seen him properly asleep and he couldn't help but think Neil looked angelic.

Andrew shook his head and ran a hand through his hair, it had grown longer than he normally liked to let it because he hadn't exactly had time for a haircut in the last couple months, before prying his eyes away from Neil. Aside from the fact that it was more than just a little bit creepy to just stand there and watch Neil sleep he also needed time to think about what exactly was going to happen between the two of them when they got back to the real world. He also had a shit ton of blood to clean out of his car.

Aaron was sitting at the kitchen table by the time Andrew made it downstairs and he greeted him with a nod, “There's fresh coffee in the pot.”

Andrew nodded and set off to make himself a cup, coffee was exactly what he needed right now. The rush of caffeine would jolt his brain and help him make some tough decisions. He found a mug, cream, and sugar after a few minutes of rifling through Aaron's kitchen and adjusted the taste of the coffee to his liking. Andrew briefly hesitated before walking out of the room and deciding to join his brother at the table.

If Aaron was surprised by the decision he didn't show it, he only folded down his paper and took another sip of his coffee before asking, “How's Neil doing?”

“He's still breathing,” Andrew said, which was true, it was the last thing he checked before he came down stairs, “Sleeping. I figured I'd let him sleep as much as he can before we get back on the road.”

“I'll check him out before you leave but he was doing a lot better after the blood transfusion last night so I think I'll be able to let him leave with a clear conscious.” Aaron sighed, “You need to take it easy for a few days too.”

“I'll survive,” Andrew shrugged, “I've had a lot worse injuries than the one's I came here with.”

Aaron blinked a few times before lowering his gaze and taking another sip of his coffee. An awkward silence developed between the two of them until Andrew spoke again, “I meant from work, not from my mother.”

Aaron's only response was a small hum, which Andrew was surprisingly grateful for. He didn't have the energy to get into another verbal sparring match with his brother so soon after the last one. They sat in silence until they both finished their coffee and Andrew couldn't get over how weird it was seeing another version of himself reflected back at him. Up until this point he had maybe only spent a collective two hours with Aaron in almost a decade so he wasn't exactly used to seeing his identical twin even if he knew he was out there somewhere.

“Is there room in your garage?” Andrew finally asked after swallowing the last drop of his coffee.

“Uh, yeah,” Aaron raised an eyebrow, “Why?”

“I need to clean the blood out of my car before we leave and I think you'd prefer it if your neighbors didn't see someone who looked exactly like you hosing blood off of the car door.” Andrew sighed.

“Of course,” Aaron groaned, “I should have figured. I'll go open it, you can pull in next to my car.”

Aaron rose from the table and disappeared through a door a few feet away. Andrew listened for the sound of metallic groaning as the garage door opened before grabbing his keys and walking out of the front door towards his car. He opened the driver side door and cringed at the mess that looked back at him. There was no smell, thank god, but the black leather was covered in dried blood along with the vinyl dashboard and even a bit of the carpet. It wasn't going to be fun to clean but he was reasonably sure that he could get it all out without any lasting stains.

Aaron left him to his own devices with a bucket of hot water, a spray bottle filled with hydrogen peroxide, and a basket of towels that Andrew planned to take with him and burn at the first available chance along with his and Neil's clothes from the night. They were both currently wearing borrowed clothing from Aaron, and Andrew was already getting annoyed at how much tighter the shirt fit him than his brother.

After nearly an hour of meticulous scrubbing and washing the interior of the vehicle Andrew was fairly sure he'd restored it to its previous glory. Currently there were three things in the world that he valued, well, four but he would never tell Nicky that to his face, his car, his apartment, and Neil. The fact that his car was filled with Neil's blood was doing things to Andrew's emotions he never thought he'd feel, so to look down and see the car spotless with the knowledge that Neil was safe upstairs did more than a lot to settle him.

Andrew sat back on his feet and wiped the sweat from his brow, the door to the garage creaked open and he looked up expecting to see Aaron but instead found a worried looking Neil. Andrew opened his mouth to speak but Neil beat him to it.

“You were gone when I woke up.” Neil said.

Andrew could read between the lines, _you were gone_ meant _I thought something happened to you,_ Andrew sighed, “I had a lot to do before we left and you needed as much sleep as you could get.”

“OK,” Neil mumbled, “Aaron is making breakfast; it should be done in a minute. I had him make your french toast with extra sugar.”

Andrew mumbled and stood up from the ground, leaning one hand against the car, “Come here.”

Neil didn't hesitate before moving. He closed the door behind him and crossed the garage quickly before settling himself in front of Andrew. “Good morning.”

“Yes or no?” Andrew asked.

Neil raised a single eyebrow, he tried to hide the pain that the movement had caused in his burned cheek but he wasn't able to cover up his wince before Andrew saw it, “Yes or no what?”

Andrew shook his head before exhaling, “I want to kiss you, yes or no?”

“Yes,” Neil said, “Obviously. Why are you asking me for permission?”

“Because,” Andrew whispered, “I need to know that you actually want this, that you want me because you actually want it and not because you just think you do.”

“Don't insult me like that, Andrew.” Neil snapped, “I'm perfectly capable of making my own decisions. I decided I wanted to kiss you long before you kissed me. I'm not some fragile child who's just clinging to you because you were nice to me.”

Andrew closed his eyes, only so he wouldn't be tempted to roll them, “Yes or no.”

Neil growled before leaning in close, “Yes.”

Andrew nodded and leaned in, pushing himself up ever so slightly on his toes and pressing a soft kiss against Neil's lips. It wasn't heated or frantic, there was no underlying sexual energy, it was the chastest of kisses, and it somehow felt even more intimate than if they had begun to rip each others’ clothes off right then and there.

Andrew didn't understand how this was happening. He didn't understand how he could actually accept what Neil was giving to him, how he could possibly deserve it. He'd been beaten down for so much of his life that he honestly thought the ability to actually care about someone had been beaten out of him. There had been other men before Neil, of course, but they were truly nothing more than a way to pass the time or a means to an end. They were not like Neil, the boy who literally sprung into his life in a hail of bullets and knife fights. The boy who bled in his home and made him feel the first real bit of crippling fear for the first time in years. The boy who almost killed himself just to save him, the boy who was a pipe dream. Andrew lifted his hands to run them down Neil's back, tracing the scarred wings carved into his back from above the fabric. Andrew truly didn't understand how he could be standing so close to an avenging angel without being dead.

“Let's go inside before Aaron comes looking for us,” Neil whispered.

“Yeah,” Andrew nodded.

 

<O>

 

NEIL sat on the arm of Aaron's couch as he waited for Andrew to come back down the stairs with their things. Breakfast had gone as smooth as it could possibly go when two of the people were identical twins who didn't talk to each other and the other was an injured psychic. Now that everything was settled and Neil was healthy enough to move they were about to head back to LA. They had stayed at Aaron's far longer than they should have and neither Neil nor Andrew was willing to risk Aaron and his family by staying any longer. It might be less safe for them back at the apartment but it was much safer for Aaron.

“You put my number in your phone, right?” Aaron asked.

Neil nodded, “Yes, Aaron, thank you for everything. I'd be dead if it wasn't for you.”

“It's my job,” Aaron said with an awkward smile, “Try to stay in contact with me for the next few days, tell me immediately if something is wrong or even if something doesn't feel right, OK?”

“Yes, sir,” Neil laughed and gave Aaron a sarcastic two finger salute, one he'd seen Andrew give Nicky that night they all had dinner together.

Andrew's voice came from the top of the stairs, “Please, for the love of god, do not tell Nicky you have his number. He'll start who knows how many group chats.”

Aaron squared his shoulders and turned to face Andrew as he came down the stairs, “Under one condition.”

“Oh?” Andrew raised a single eyebrow but otherwise his expression was flat.

“Make a deal with me,” Aaron said, “Nicky's said before that you're all about deals, reciprocity and whatnot.”

“What deal could we possibly make?” Andrew asked, angling himself slightly more towards his brother. Andrew would never admit it but Neil could tell the sudden gusto from Aaron had piqued his curiosity.

“I'll keep Nicky off your back about Neil and this whole thing, he's already texted me asking me if I knew where you were for some reason.” Aaron said.

“And what did you tell him?” Andrew asked.

“I haven't replied yet, figured he would think I'm still asleep.” Aaron smiled.

“Interesting,” Andrew said, “Out of curiosity, what do you get out of this deal?”

“I...” Aaron trailed off, “I want some kind of relationship with you, even if it's just you answering a fucking text message once a week or something. Cass, my mom, is gone. She died a few years ago and she was an only child. She wasn't married and her only son died before she adopted me, I don't have anyone anymore aside from you and Nicky. I mean, I have Katelyn and our daughter, and Katelyn's family too, but it's not the same. It's like I'm an orphan all over again; but this time it's even worse because I know there are people out there who are my family but they just don't...they don't want me. Nicky is fine, he's great, but even I can tell that we're not as close as we could be because he's keeping me at arms length so he won't upset you. So those are my terms, as shitty as they are, I want my family.”

Neil blinked at Aaron, he was almost out of breath from his speech and frankly Neil almost was too. He'd never seen someone so passionate about wanting to connect with someone before and it made him smile, but only a tiny bit. Neil looked to Andrew next and sighed at Andrew's stony exterior. Andrew was the epitome of unbothered, even after his brother had poured his heart out to him Andrew stood there with the same flat expression on his face.

Aaron looked absolutely defeated as he searched Andrew's face for any sign of something other than indifference.

“Anything else to add?” Andrew asked.

“No,” Aaron sighed.

Andrew picked up his and Neil's bags and looped them both around one shoulder before placing his free hand on Neil's shoulder and turning him towards the door that led to the garage. Neil assumed the conversation was over, but he stopped short of entering the door as he heard Andrew speak.

“You keep up your end of the deal when we get back to LA and I'll call you.”

Neil was thankful his back was to Andrew because he knew his jaw had dropped. Andrew had surprised him before but this was something he never expected. He turned his head slightly, because he couldn't possibly miss the chance to see the look on Aaron's face, and he smiled when he saw Aaron break out into a small grin.

“Deal.” Aaron said.

“Deal.” Andrew repeated before placing his hand on the small of Neil's back and pushing him towards the garage.

They both loaded themselves in the car, neither of them speaking, and Neil gave Aaron one final wave before the car pulled out of the garage and the mechanical door closed behind them.

 

<O>

 

NEITHER Neil nor Andrew spoke for the beginning of their car ride. Neil wasn't in the habit of pushing Andrew when he didn't want to talk and he didn't really mind the comfortable silence that had settled between the two of them. He let the sounds of the car gliding smoothly across the road relax him and every so often his eyes would glance over towards Andrew to find him with one hand on the wheel and his eyes paying perfect attention to the road ahead of him.

Andrew finally spoke once the car pulled onto the freeway and headed back towards Los Angels, “I hope there was nothing you wanted to keep in the motel room, we can't go back to it.”

Neil shrugged the best he could without bothering his injuries, “I don't really get attached to material stuff, I didn't have the luxury of it when we were on the run. I have my phone and the keys and I guess that's really all I need.”

“You're attached to my sweater,” Andrew rolled his eyes.

Neil could feel his skin growing hot, “It's a nice sweater,” he mumbled. He was glad he didn't bring it with him to the motel room and that it was still sitting safely back on the bed in his room.

“Oh, by the way,” Neil added, “I kinda accidentally broke the TV in the motel room.”

“You what?” Andrew's eyes went wide, “How the fuck did you break the TV?”

“Well,” Neil started, “I was kinda upset that you left and I was holding onto the keys in my hand and trying to will myself to have a vision or something and I guess it worked because I did have one. I don't know how it happened, but I think it had to do with the connection the keys have to you, they let me see you. Anyway, the vision was intense, I saw Jean kill you up on the roof, and I guess I kinda lost it afterwards because I was in shock or confused but I threw the keys across the room and they broke the TV screen.”

Andrew let out a long breath, “Well, I guess that answers one of the questions I had. So, your normal visions are back? Even around me?”

“Yes and no,” Neil said, “I don't really know, I haven't had a lot of chances to experiment. From what I can tell I don't need to be touching you to actually see something that involves you, I just have to concentrate really, really fucking hard, and it helps if I have something grounding my touch.”

“What about when it's not about me?” Andrew asked, “I saw you in that stairwell, you could tell when we were about to be attacked at every turn.”

“Again, it's the same as it was before you but also different,” Neil tried to figure out how to explain it, “Before you I could see almost anything and it was instant. All I had to do was close my eyes and think for less than a second and everything would flash in front of me like a movie on fast forward. But now, from what I can tell, my touch needs to be grounded to something like a wall or the railing of the stairwell, and I have to actually close my eyes and think about it for a few seconds. It's useless in the heat of the moment or in a fight now because even if I saw what was coming I'd still get killed because I'd be standing around in the middle of a knife fight with my eyes closed and my hands on a wall. It's why I couldn't see Brian coming, or the fact that I was going to get stabbed. But I guess it's better than not being able to see anything. I have less anxiety now.”

“Good,” Andrew shook his head, “You already have too much anxiety as it is.”

“Tell me about it,” Neil laughed.

“Tell me the truth,” Andrew said, “Do you have any idea how all of this happens? With you? With anyone who has powers?”

“No,” Neil admitted, “I don't remember living a life without them, but I know there are people who didn't have them one day and then had them the next, and I know there are people who were born with them. Maybe the doctor knew more, in fact I'm sure she did, but she never told me.”

“Does not knowing bother you?” Andrew asked.

“Not really,” Neil said, “Like I said, I don't remember ever having a life without them, maybe I was kidnapped when I was a child or something but my earliest memory is being underground in that place and seeing things that they were going to do to me.”

Without realizing it Neil had reached his hand down towards Andrew's hand that rested on the gearshift. Neil hesitated when he realized he hadn't made contact yet and decided that he could pull his hand back without making anything awkward but Andrew silently opened his fingers just enough to allow Neil's own to thread through them. Neil took the invitation and lightly rested his hand on top of Andrew's, their hands moved together every time he shifted the gear and Andrew would occasionally give Neil's hand a light squeeze.

“What do we do next?” Neil finally asked, he didn't know where was safe for them to go and he was at a loss for what to do next.

“We can't go back to the apartment yet,” Andrew said, “It might be safe or it might be compromised, there's no way we can know for sure. They've got to know that we're alive by now.”

Neil turned his head so he was fully facing Andrew, “So what is your plan then?”

“I have an idea,” Andrew said, “but I don't think you're going to like it.”

 

<O>

 

THE parking garage of the Los Angels field office was dark and quite, which is exactly how Andrew liked it. He also knew that by some miracle the place also got perfect service even thought it was underground. It was the perfect place for him to make his call. He was sure that his entry had already been flagged when he swiped his ID in at the gate and people, Wymack especially, had to be looking for him after being MIA for the day.

Andrew pulled his phone out and gave Neil one final look, “Are you sure about this?”

“Not really,” Neil said, Andrew was thankful for Neil's refreshing honesty, “But there's no other way. At least, no other way that's easier than this.”

Again, the honesty. Neil was willing to take this big of a risk for him and Andrew had promised to protect him because of it, he just hoped that it would be easier done than said. He scrolled through his contacts until he landed on Wymack and he tapped the screen, the phone rang exactly one time before he answered.

“Doe! Where the fuck are you?” Wymack barked, “You've got a shit ton of explaining to do, I have one agent with a concussion and a head wound that we found locked in his trunk, a half burnt down building, and a shit ton of blood with zero bodies. You have exactly two seconds to fucking tell me what the hell happened in San Diego.”

“Wymack,” Andrew said, “Shut the fuck up and listen to what I'm about to say.”

“Excuse me?” Wymack snapped, “Listen, I put up with a lot from you, you little shit, more than I should, but now is not the time for your fucking attitude. I need answers.”

“And you will get them,” Andrew said, his voice as flat and calm as possible, “I need you to come down to parking level G, alone, and don't tell anyone where you're going. It's important.”

“Why? Give me one reason why I shouldn't just call in exactly where you are and have your short little ass hauled up to my office.”

“Because you said you wanted to meet my informant,” Andrew said as he caught Neil's stare, Neil nodded back at him, “Be down here in five minutes and both of us will answer all of your questions.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another chapter or two and we'll offically cross 100k words and i cant believe how much i've written and i cant believe how much people like this. i seriously refresh like crazy when im bored and every time i get a new comment or anything my heart sores so thank you all for all the support and love <3 
> 
> as always if you have any questions or comments or concerns you ca find me on [tumblr](https://lscar123.tumblr.com/)


	21. Are You Now Or Have You Ever Been?

 

 

 

XXI

Are You Now Or Have You Ever Been?

 

NEIL did as Andrew instructed and kept himself hidden in the darkness of the underground garage. Andrew had asked him no less than ten times if he actually wanted to go through with this plan and Neil appreciated Andrew's hesitation and concern for his safety, but even though every lesson that he'd been taught his entire life was screaming at him and telling him not to do this he knew it was the only way. It was the only way to keep himself safe, to keep Andrew safe, and to hopefully stop this entire thing.

Neil looked up as the door across the parking level was wrenched open and a man stepped through. As the man got closer Neil could make out more details about him. He was tall, burly, and Neil could see the beginnings of tattoos on both of his forearms sticking out from just under the sleeves of his suit. He was endlessly imposing.

“You've really stepped in some shit this time, Doe.” Wymack sighed.

“First of all,” Andrew said as he leaned against this car with his hands crossed over his chest, “All I did was go where you sent me and then made sure I didn't get myself killed when I was attacked by an actual fucking army of people.”

“No one knows what the fuck happened out there,” Wymack shook his head, “Knox is in the hospital with a concussion and the last thing he remembers is leaving you at the murder scene when you said you were going back to your hotel and then he woke up in the back of the trunk with his hands tied to his feet and a bleeding head wound. Then you disappear for 24 hours and a building right next to the crime scene goes up in flames, I want to help you, Andrew, but you have to help me help you.”

“That's why I'm here,” Andrew sighed, “I want you to meet someone.”

Neil's body tensed, that was his cue. He hesitated for a slight moment before leaning against one of the support beams and closing his eyes. He was still getting used to these new visions and it was endlessly frustrating not seeing things in the same way as he used to, especially because they didn't last as long, but it was still better than nothing.

Wymack seemed to check out and Neil couldn’t see any signs of a trap in his vision so he let out a low sigh and stepped out of the darkness. Wymack's head snapped towards him as soon as he heard the footsteps and Neil saw him instinctively reach for his gun before Andrew's hand shot out and wrapped itself around Wymack's wrist.

“Who is this?” Wymack asked.

“You said you wanted to meet my informant,” Andrew waved a hand towards Neil, “Meet Neil.”

“Hi,” Neil said softly before giving Wymack a short wave.

“Uh, hey, kid” Wymack mumbled before turning to Andrew, “This is your informant? He barely looks old enough to drive.”

“Excuse me,” Neil snapped, “I'm 25...I think.”

Wymack raised an eyebrow but otherwise ignored the comment, “OK, so then what the hell do you know about this whole thing? Just what in the hell is going on and how is this all connected to the Butcher case?”

“It's complicated,” Neil said, “And long, but I'll tell you everything I know...”

“Why does it sound like there's some kind of stipulation attached to that?” Wymack shook his head.

“Because there is,” Andrew cut in.

Wymack was silent for a moment before pulling out a set of keys and unlocking his car, “Fine, but before I hear anything I'm taking him to Abby, he looks like shit.”

“Hey!” Neil protested, “I'm fine! I've already been checked out.”

“That's nice,” Wymack shrugged, “You want my help then you're letting my wife check you out, I'm not making any deals with someone who looks like they're about to drop dead. You're pale as a sheet and look like a small gust will knock you over.”

Neil glared at Wymack and crossed his arms before looking at Andrew, “Well?”

Andrew sighed, “Just go along with it, we can trust Abby.”

“I really am fine,” Neil mumbled as he got into the back of Wymack's car, “This is just a waste of time.”

“Right” Wymack said as he started the engine, “Then just appease me.”

“Whatever,” Neil growled, “But I'm fine.”

Wymack rolled his eyes and looked to Andrew in the passenger’s seat, “Does he know any words other than 'I'm fine'?”

Neil thought he heard a small laugh come from Andrew, “If you find out, let me know.”

“Asshole,” Neil mumbled to himself before buckling himself into the seat and resting his head against the window.

The ride to Wymack's house was smooth and uneventful but took longer than Neil had anticipated, before he knew it he felt his eyes grow heavy and soon after he was lost to the world of sleep.

 

<O>

 

ANDREW eyed Neil's sleeping form in the backseat from the rear view mirror. Neil somehow managed to look younger when he slept, even with the bandage plastered on his face. Andrew was glad he was sleeping, once things really starting moving with Wymack there might not be too much time to stop and relax. Wymack was tense and angry as he guided the car through the busy city streets towards his home, Andrew couldn't tell if he was more pissed about Abby becoming involved (even though it was Wymack's suggestion) or if he was pissed because of the cloak and dagger routine. Neither mattered much to Andrew, as long as this led to the end of everything and it kept Neil safe then Wymack could be as angry as he wanted.

Andrew caught Wymack's glare out of the corner of his eye, “This better be worth it.”

“It is,” Andrew nodded, “I think Neil is the key to everything. Kevin, The Butcher, and maybe even the mole. You just have to have an open mind.”

“I don't like the sound of that,” Wymack scoffed, “But we don't need the kid to figure out the mole, that was settled earlier this morning.”

“Excuse me?” Andrew gaped, “And you're just now telling me this?”

“It's not like I had much of a chance between all of this.” Wymack waved his hands around.

“Who was it?” Andrew asked, his shoulders going rigid.

“The team has been cleared,” Wymack started, “Dobson called me last night to ask for a favor. Her assistant quit a few months ago after some kind of breakdown, she couldn't reach her over the last couple days and was getting worried so she called me and asked if I could have someone do a well being check. When the police got there they found her locked in her apartment with pictures of you plastered all over the wall.”

“What?” Andrew blinked.

“Surveillance pictures,” Wymack nodded, “She had been following you for almost two months. She had pictures of you outside the offices, in your car, outside your apartment building; there were even a few of you from the day you got attacked. I had a tech look over Dobson's computer system’s and the assistant had hacked into them and installed a backdoor so she was able to see all your appointments, even the one's that were only on Dobson's private computer.”

“Jesus Christ,” Andrew sighed, “Who did the assistant say put her up to this?”

“That's the worst part,” Wymack shook his head, “She claims she has no idea. She says she has no memory starting the day after she quit working for Dobson. The last thing she claims to remember was an Asian man with dark hair choking her in the parking lot near her car.”

“Do you buy it?” Andrew asked.

“I don't fucking know,” Wymack frowned, “I've never seen something so strange, Doe. Even if I don't believe her story, _she_ believes it. I've seen my fair share of liars over the years but this is different, when she talks about the guy she claims attacked her I see a genuine fear in her eyes. She said she'd only ever met you once and she could barely pick you out of a line up. Something doesn't add up. I think I believe that she doesn't remember following you but we went back and pulled old surveillance cams from some of the public places you were at in the pictures and she and her camera were in plain view.”

“The King,” Neil mumbled from the back seat, “That's why she doesn't remember. She did it but it was against her will.”

“What the hell is he talking about?” Wymack asked.

Andrew looked back and saw Neil rubbing his eyes before stretching his arms over his head with a yawn, “Neil?”

“It's what the King can do,” Neil's voice was quiet, “He can make you do something even if you don't want to.”

“Who the hell is the King and how the hell does he force people to do things?” Wymack snapped, “Blackmail? Threats?”

“No,” Neil shook his head, “He just has to touch them.”

Wymack began to laugh as he pulled the car into his driveway, “Great, you brought me a crazy person. Good job, Doe.”

“He's not crazy.” Andrew snapped, “Don't say that.”

Wymack looked down at Andrew a few times and blinked, “Calm down, Doe. I mean it.”

“Just get him inside to Abby, let her replace his bandages, and then we can talk.” Andrew ran a hand through his growing hair, “Come on, Neil.”

Neil nodded and unbuckled his seat belt before getting out of the car. When Andrew opened his door he found Neil waiting patiently for him a few steps away. Andrew could sense the apprehension coming off of Neil in waves and he looked over his shoulder to make sure Wymack wasn't watching them before he leaned in close and placed a grounding hand on the small of Neil's back, “If you don't want to do this then I'll figure out another way.”

“No,” Neil shook his head, “It's fine, I'm just...it's a lot to take in. Wymack is a little...imposing.”

Andrew didn't need to be psychic to know what Neil meant, that Wymack was big, strong, and unknown. Probably far too similar to the people that had hurt him before. Andrew's fingers tightened on the back of Neil's shirt, “He's all bark. He likes to talk big but in the end he's just a pushover with a habit for seeing the best in fucked up people.”

Neil was silent for a moment, “OK. Let's do this.”

 

<O>

 

WYMACK'S house looked nothing like what Neil imagined in head. The modest home sat in front of a small and secluded beach and when they stepped inside Neil found the sliding glass doors wide open, allowing the sea breeze to blow through the house. The interior of the house was immaculate with the furniture all a soothing cream color accented by various green items such as throw pillows, end tables, and artwork. It was homey, Neil figured, not that he really knew what homey was. He suspected that Wymack was entirely not responsible for the interior decoration.

Neil found himself wandering through the open house towards the back porch. He stepped through the doors and leaned against the painted white railing of the long porch and watched the waves as they crashed against the sandy beach. He felt his grip tighten on the railing as the sound of footsteps echoed behind him.

“Uh,” Wymack said, “You two stay here, I'll go find Abby.”

Neil only listened as Wymack walked away and vaguely registered Andrew's presence settle in at his side. It was the first time he'd actually seen the ocean in years and the last time he'd sat on a beach it didn't provide him with fond memories. Neil hissed in pain when he realized that his tight grip on the banister had reopened one of the cuts on his hand.

“Fuck,” Neil mumbled, “Dammit.”

“What's wrong?” Andrew asked.

“Nothing,” Neil lied, “I'm fine.”

“Say that again and I'm leaving,” Andrew warned, “Tell me the truth.”

“I haven't seen the ocean since...Mary died.” Neil admitted and turned his back to Andrew.

“Mary?” Andrew repeated, “You said she died in Arizona...”

Neil took a few steps further down the porch until he saw a small wooden bench that was suspended from the ceiling by two thin chains. He smiled before he sat down on it and began to rock back and forth on the swing. Andrew followed him a few seconds later and took a seat directly beside Neil.

Neil closed his eyes and let his head fall backwards as the swing continued it's motion, “After she died in Arizona I made it back to a stash of money we had, I knew I had to get out of the state as fast as I could but I didn't know where to go. I found a bus depot and switched on and off of various buses for a few days before I ended up somewhere in California. The bus let out right next to the ocean and...I'd been running for so long that I didn't even realize what I was doing. I walked directly across the road and just stood on the beach and all the memories came back to me at once. I could hear her screaming, I could see her body as it burned, I could smell it like she was burning in a fire right in front of me on that fucking beach. It was the first time in days that I let myself _feel_ something and I've avoided beaches ever since then.”

Andrew opened his mouth to say something but was stopped by the appearance of Wymack and a smaller woman next to him. Neil could instantly tell that she was the kind motherly type, something he'd never had much experience with.

“Neil,” Wymack coughed, “This is Abby.”

“Hi, Neil,” Abby stepped forward, there seemed to be a sad smile on her face, “Are you OK with coming upstairs so I can get you checked out?”

Neil's eyes went wide and his hand began to shake, he didn't want to go anywhere with someone he didn't know. He looked back at Andrew who had already begun to make his way towards Neil.

Abby must have caught on because she took a step backwards, “Or we can stay down here, I'll go upstairs and get my bag and David can show you and Andrew to the kitchen; I'll take a look at you in there.”

Neil nodded and Wymack silently followed Abby inside. Neil waited a moment until the other man was out of earshot before turning to Andrew, “I don't want him to see my scars.”

Andrew only nodded and Neil knew he got the hidden meaning: _I don't want him to see how vulnerable I am._

Neil walked back into the house and found Wymack leaning against the wall, “The kitchen is right around the corner, Abby is already in there.”

“I need to talk to Wymack for a minute,” Andrew said, “I'll just be right here around the corner, yell if you need anything.”

Wymack looked as if he was about to protest but Andrew shut him up by grabbing his wrist and pulling him away from the kitchen. Neil could already hear them begin to argue with each other but he shook his head and made his way towards Abby. He would have rather Andrew been with him but the compromise of having him in the next room to occupy Wymack outweighed his irrational fears.

“This is a waste of both of our times,” Neil said as Abby looked towards him when he entered, “I've already been checked out by a doctor.”

“Then another one can't hurt,” Abby smiled, “If you're as fine as you say you are then we'll be done in a minute or two. Now, what are those bandages covering?”

Neil let out a sigh, “Burns.”

Abby blinked, “Burns?”

“Yes,” Neil shook his head as he pulled off the bandage on his face and pointed to it, “Burns.”

Abby sucked in a small breath but otherwise kept her composure, “What have you been doing to take care of them?”

“It's barely been two days, they've been covered and I have antibacterial stuff to put on them every 12 hours or so.”

Neil pulled the tube out of his pocket and waved it around before Abby spoke, “When was the last time you applied it?”

Neil closed his eyes and calculated how long it had been since they left Aaron's house that morning, “Uh, 13 hours?”

Abby let out a small laugh, “OK then, at least let me reapply it. Are the burns on your arms as well?”

“Yeah,” Neil nodded and held up his left hand, the top of it facing her, “And this hand.”

“Anything else I should know about?” Abby asked.

Neil weighed the pros and cons of letting his knife wound get infested versus letting Abby see his scars, one would kill him and the other would just make him wish he was dead, “There are a couple knife cuts and I was stabbed in my lower back. It's stitched up.”

“OK,” Abby said as she turned around, “Get your shirt off and I'll look at everything at once.”

Neil took a deep breath before gently sliding the shirt over his head. He felt exposed, as if he was standing in the middle of that kitchen naked, and he wished he had Andrew by his side for some sort of comfort.

Abby turned around and Neil saw her eyes go wide as they raked over the scarred planes of his body. She was good though, her eyes were the only part of her face that betrayed her reaction and even that lasted only a fraction of a second before she schooled herself into composure, “OK, let's take care of your face and get it covered back up before we move on to anything else.”

Neil was slightly let down; he was so used to people's grand reactions to his scars that Abby's subdued response almost felt more annoying. Neil sat on the counter while Abby stood over him, gently rubbing in the antibacterial solution into his cheek with even more care than Aaron had, which was to say it was hundreds of times more gentle than Andrew. Abby slowly peeled the bandages off of his arms and frowned as she saw the burns that made their way up towards his shoulders.

“I'm sorry you had to go through this,” Abby said softly, “All of this.”

“Don't apologize for things you can't control,” Neil said as he swallowed a lump in his throat, it was so unlike any care he'd ever gotten before. With Aaron he was in and out of consciousness, with Andrew he was simply trying to direct him with what to do, and with the doctor it was quick, rough, and to the point. Abby's hands moved with a delicate grace, she never applied more pressure than was needed and was conscious of every inch of skin she touched. She lightly prodded around his stitches to check for any signs of infection but otherwise left any wounds that were not burn related to their own devices. Neil had never had someone, especially a woman, care for him so tenderly before and he didn't know how to react to it.

After nearly half an hour Abby had finally finished tending to the last of Neil's burns. She checked him over once more and Neil was waiting for her to at least say something about the wings that were carved into his back but again, Abby was silent and warm, “You'll need to keep these bandages covered whenever you shower, my best advice would be taping trash bags to your arms and a big piece of cling wrap over your cheek.”

“How am I supposed to wash myself with my hands covered?” Neil asked.

Abby leaned back and considered it for a moment before smiling, “Something tells me you're resourceful, Neil. I'm sure you'll figure something out.”

“Yeah,” Neil mumbled absentmindedly, “Thanks.”

“You're welcome,” Abby smiled, “Let me give you my number so that way you can call me if you have any more questions, I know you said you had someone take care of you in San Diego but I'm a bit closer than that, so if you need anything at all please don't hesitate. I also have a small practice downtown and you're free to walk in whenever you need to if you're in the area.”

“You're nice.” Neil said, it came out as an accusation more than a compliment.

Abby stepped backwards, “I try to be. There are too many assholes in this world not to be nice.”

“Tell me about it,” Neil said as he slipped his shirt back over his head.

Abby took a step forward and placed a gentle hand on Neil's shoulder, “Remember, if you need anything I'm just a phone call away.”

Neil didn't know how to respond to such nice things so he simply nodded and awkwardly turned away from her. He balled his hands into a fist in an attempt to steel himself and not sprint out of the kitchen. He'd reached his tolerance on niceness for the day and was actually longing for Andrew to call him an idiot or something, even if Neil knew that idiot was a substitute for something else Andrew wanted to say.

Neil rounded the corner and found Andrew and Wymack sitting in two chairs opposite of each other and not speaking. Andrew looked up when Neil walked in and Neil saw him relax slightly before Wymack turned around. Abby gave him a small nod as she headed upstairs and Neil fell into the couch with his hands on his lap and waited for someone to speak.

“So,” Wymack finally broke the silence, “Who wants to begin?”

Andrew looked to Neil and Neil gave him a small smile in return and nodded. Neil knew the only way to convince Wymack of his story would be to display his ability so he closed his eyes and rested a ground hand on the arm of the couch. It took a few second before he saw anything but soon enough the images played behind his eyes and he reopened them with a gasp.

“What the...” Wymack trailed off.

“In a few seconds Abby is going to come back down the stairs. She's changed into a white button up shirt and a pair of jeans with her hair pulled back. She's going to ask if Andrew and I are staying for dinner and then she's going to ask if you want your usual order of a Greek salad with extra dressing from the place down the street.”

A look of confusion crossed over Wymack's face and he opened his mouth to speak. Before he could say anything Abby appeared at the bottom of the stairs wearing exactly what Neil had said she would be. Wymack's eyes went wide and Abby turned towards them with a smile, “David, are Andrew and Neil staying for dinner?”

Wymack mumbled something but he looked too shocked to for a full sentence.

Abby looked at him, puzzled, before she shook her head, “I'm going to order something from the place down the street in a little bit, do you want the usual Greek salad with extra dressing?”

Wymack's jaw was on the floor and Neil let his eyes drift to Andrew who was reclined in his chair with a smug look on his face, Neil figured it was similar to the one he himself had worn the first morning he demonstrated his ability to Andrew and it was very satisfying.

Abby waited for an answer but when she realized no one was going to give her one she rolled her eyes and waved a dismissive hand towards the group, “I'm ordering soon so if you change your mind let me know, I'll be in my office working on some order forms for the clinic.”

“So,” Wymack said as soon as Abby closed the door to her office behind her, “You're one of them, aren't you?”

Neil felt his stomach bottom out, this was something he didn't expect and he was instantly on his feet. He barricaded himself behind the couch and slipped the knife out of his pocket before Andrew or Wymack could say anything, holding it at the ready to defend himself if he needed to. Andrew stood as well and his hand immediately went to the holster on his side. Neil heard the snap of the clasp releasing and he knew Andrew was ready to draw it if he needed to.

“What the fuck?” Wymack whispered, “Both of you need to calm down. Now.”

“How do you know?” Neil growled, his voice low and dangerous.

Andrew was silent but Neil could tell he was assessing every bit of the situation.

“I'm the director of an FBI field office,” Wymack said, holding his hands up in front of him, “Of course I know. Certain people have known about these kind of things for years.”

“So then you know that the butcher and all these attacks on FBI agents are connected to people who have abilities?” Andrew asked.

“What?” Wymack gaped, “What the hell are you talking about?”

“The Butcher isn't a serial killer,” Andrew said, “It's a cover up, a distraction, from the people that Neil escaped from. We were attacked in San Diego by a group of them, a guy who could change his appearance and one who could control fire.”

Wymack's eyes drifted back to Neil and he could feel him zeroing in on his bandages, “That's what happened to me,” Neil confirmed.

“Listen,” Wymack said calmly, “I didn't know any of this. All I've been told is that people like Neil, or whatever else attacked you, exist. I've never seen any of them in person or dealt with a case that involved them. The FBI makes sure that its higher ranking members are aware of them just in case they come across a case that does involve them and then it gets shipped off to a specialized team that only handles them.”

Neil looked to Andrew who silently nodded, a confirmation that he believed Wymack and still trusted him to be safe. Neil was still on edge but he relented and slid the knife back into his pocket as he slowly walked back around to the front of the couch and sat down, this time as close to the chair Andrew was sitting in as possible. Andrew relaxed and took a seat as well.

Wymack was the last to lower himself back into his chair and he leaned forward with a sigh, “Pulling weapons on me in my own damn house, ungrateful little assholes,”

Neil actually had to bite back a smile and Andrew old shrugged and motioned for Wymack to continue talking.

“We need to get the entire team together to talk about this, especially Reynolds.”

Andrew raised an eyebrow, “Why her _especially_?”

“Because,” Wymack said, “Before she transferred to us she used to be on one of those specialized teams that dealt with people like Neil.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me? write a fic where allison isn't super important? never!
> 
> we officially cross the 100k word mark next chapter and i cant even believe it


	22. Quickening

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welcome to the 8k monster of a chapter! a slight warning for a bit of graphic violence at the end but it happens to someone we dont like so really its all good

XXII

Quickening

 

WYMACK left Andrew next to his car in the bottom of the parking structure. Neil stood next to him humming with a nervous energy. Andrew could feel it radiating off of him like steam every since Wymack revealed that he knew about people with powers. It had thrown Andrew for a loop too and frankly he was starting to get pissed off about just how connected all of this bullshit was.

“Where are we going?” Andrew finally asked as Neil sunk into the passengers seat.

“How did you know?” Neil laughed.

“I didn't at first,” Andrew admitted, “I just said that to get us away from Wymack but you're acting weird and you've started to say something and then stopped about five times now.”

Neil let out a sigh and absentmindedly rubbed the scar on his arm, “I need you to take us back to the apartment.”

Andrew turned the car on and backed out of the parking spot before he turned his head back to Neil, “Why?”

Neil shook his head, “I know it's not safe but there's something I need to get in case this all goes wrong.”

Andrew narrowed his eyes as he pulled onto the main road outside of the office, “What is it?”

Neil chewed on his lip for a second before answering, “Money. A lot of it.”

“Excuse me?” Andrew blinked, “Where exactly do you have a lot of money in my apartment?”

“It's a long story,” Neil shrugged.

“Well, we've got nothing but time,” Andrew glared at Neil, “Tell me.”

“OK,” Neil frowned, “It's not _that_ long, when we ran the doctor stole money from the director, five million dollars.”

Andrew was silent for a moment as he guided the car through the streets, “You've had five million dollars this whole time?”

“No,” Neil shook his head, “It's almost all gone, there's only half a million left now in various accounts across the country.”

“So we're going back to get account numbers?” Andrew asked, “Where did you store them? You didn't have anything on you when you showed up at my apartment that night.”

“Account numbers and passwords,” Neil corrected, “I had them stashed in safe spots around the city, there's three pieces in total. I went out one day and got them while you were at work. I didn't tell you because I didn't think we'd have to use them.”

“We?” Andrew echoed.

“Yes,” Neil nodded, “I want to make sure we have this money in case something goes wrong and we have to run, I...I don't want to leave you.”

“Neil,” Andrew stated but Neil cut him off.

“No, I don't want to hear it, OK?” Neil's voice shook slightly, “I just, I just want to know that if we need to go we won't just be blowing in the wind.”

“Fine,” Andrew said, keeping his voice as flat as possible.

It didn't strike Andrew as odd that Neil just assumed that Andrew would leave with him if he ran, deep down he knew that both of them would stick with each other no matter what.

“So,” Andrew hummed, “What do you know about the people that attacked us? I know the guy you killed was the one who killed Mary, but what about the other two?”

Andrew figured he'd given Neil enough time to recover before launching into him with questions. He tried to wait until the conversation with Wymack so Neil wouldn't have to repeat himself but after that took a turn he decided he couldn't wait any longer. Plus, there was a specific question he wanted to ask when it was just the two of them.

“Two?” Neil echoed, “There was only one and that was Jean.”

“No,” Andrew shook his head, “There was a girl, she was the one who caused the power outage and then she disappeared.”

“No,” Neil mumbled, “It can't be?”

“Can't be what?” Andrew asked as he pulled to a stop at the red light.

“Before I left there was a girl who was just brought in, her name was Robin and she kept screaming about how she wanted to be taken back to her parents. She was around my age, maybe a little younger, and I saw her one day when she was trying to get away and she was covered in some kind of electricity or something. She was sparking and no one could get near her and then everything went white and it was like she...exploded. The entire facility went dark for a second before the backup generator kicked in and then she was gone. I heard someone talking later that day saying they found her in a deeper part of the facility that she shouldn't have been able to get to and then I never saw her again.”

“I think she's the reason they've been able to get away with a lot of what they've done unseen,” Andrew nodded as the light turned green, “Every place a group of those freaks shows up is in the middle of a huge blackout.”

“So she has some kind of control of electricity,” Neil's eyes narrowed, “That doesn't explain how she disappeared though.”

“She whispered something to me before she did...whatever she did. She asked me to help her and then mentioned something called Evermore Laboratories, ever heard of it?”

Neil leaned back in the seat and Andrew could tell he was thinking, “No, it doesn't sound familiar. Maybe Wymack or that Reynolds will know, they both know more than they've let on.”

“That seems to be the theme of the day,” Andrew rolled his eyes, “Who was that Jean guy? You obviously knew each other.”

“Jean is, or was, the closest thing I ever had to a friend,” Neil looked out the window and Andrew saw his eyes go distant, “He was sold to the Director by his parents, the Director gave him to the King, Riko, as some kind of fucked up toy. Our rooms were right next to each other and they shared an air vent, sometimes we would talk to each other and there were days when his voice on the other side of the wall was the only thing that kept me going. The Director was bad, he was so fucking brutal, but he did everything in the name of science and tried pretty hard not to kill me. Riko, on the other hand, was just a sadistic and bored bastard. He was a psychotic child who they let run rampant just because of his ability. He did so many terrible things to Jean but he was stronger than I was, he refused to break no matter what Riko did to him or made him do to other people. Everyone in that place was scared of him so they threw him their scraps and let him do whatever he wanted with them. They stopped being people and started being numbers, Jean was number three. I tried to make the doctor go back for him but she refused. I guess...without me there...”

“Who was number two?” Andrew asked as he gripped the wheel to stop his hands from shaking.

“I only met him once,” Neil shuddered, “He didn't have a name when I met him. Remember when I was telling you about people they called dampeners?”

“Yeah,” Andrew nodded.

“He was the one that took away my powers for almost a week. I still don't know why they sent him in to me, all I know is that he was Riko's favorite and Riko didn't like me so maybe he just wanted to make me suffer. The only time I ever saw his number two was when he was standing over me with his hand pressed against my head making it feel like it was going to implode. He had that hazy look in his eye though, the one that people get when Riko makes them do things against their will. He probably didn't even know what he was doing.”

“Jean said something on the room,” Andrew said quietly, “Before you got there.”

“What?” Neil asked, angling his body in the seat towards Andrew.

Andrew took in a deep breath and focused his eyes on the road, “He said that my old partner, the one I told you that was killed by the Butcher, was a mole. He said that Kevin was from the same place as all of you.”

“What?” Neil gasped, “That's...”

“He said that they put him on the team so he could obstruct the investigation into the killer and to stop of from finding out the truth,” Andrew's knuckles were white as he gripped the wheel, “Jean also called him number two.”

“I...” Neil trailed off, “Do you have a picture of him?”

Andrews stomach flipped. He had exactly one picture on his phone of Kevin, one that Nicky had sent him almost a year ago of Kevin drunk off his ass at the bar. He hesitated before pulling his phone out of his pocket and showing the picture to Neil. He wasn't entirely sure if he wanted to know the truth; if he wanted to know the man that he had called his partner, and even a friend, was a lair. He didn't know if he wanted to know that the man he had promised to protect was just a mole who was sent there to fuck with him and make him doubt everything. He didn't know if it would make the fact that Kevin's “death” almost destroyed him any easier or harder to live with.

Andrew was silent until they pulled into the parking garage of the apartment and Neil didn't try to push for an answer, a fact Andrew was thankful for. Neil never pushed. He parked in his spot and rested his forehead against the wheel. His body tensed as he felt Neil shift next to him and he opened his eyes to find Neil leaning in close.

“Hey,” Neil whispered, “I get it if you don't want to know...”

Andrew cut Neil off, he didn't want to think for just a few minutes, he just wanted to feel Neil's lips pressed against his.

“Oh.” Neil whispered as he leaned forward.

Andrew met him halfway and the lips pressed together tenderly at first. The kiss was soft until Andrew felt Neil's teeth lightly biting at his lower lip, Andrew bit back and he felt Neil smile against his mouth. Andrew bit again and Neil laughed, opening his mouth just enough for Andrew's tongue to slip inside. He had to remind himself that he was supposedly the first person that Neil had ever kissed because Neil was almost a fucking professional, he knew exactly what to do, and that's when it hit Andrew.

Andrew placed both of his hands on Neil's shoulder and pushed him backwards, “Are you...are you doing your fucking psychic thing to see what I like when I kiss you?”

Neil blushed, it was as good of an answer as a yes would have been.

“Don't do that,” Andrew narrowed his eyes, “I want you, not whatever version you think will make me happiest.”

“Sorry,” Neil looked away and ran a hand through his messy hair, “I just wanted to make sure you would like it.”

“Idiot,” Andrew growled.

Neil absentmindedly ran his tongue across his lower lip and Andrew launched himself forward again, wrapping his hands around the back of Neil's head and pulling him in for another kiss. Neil let out a surprised yelp before letting himself melt into Andrew touch. Neil's mouth opened willingly and let Andrew's tongue slip inside and Andrew inhaled, tasting Neil's lips against his as his tongue explored Neil's mouth. Neil eventually reciprocated and _this_ was what Andrew wanted, it was messy and unpracticed, and even slightly awkward, but it was Neil.

“Andrew,” Neil breathed against his lips, “Where can, where can I touch you.”

Andrew didn't remove his mouth to answer Neil, instead he moved his own hands from Neil's hair to Neil's hands and gently guided them to the back of Andrew's own head. Neil's fingers instantly threaded themselves into Andrew's hair and began to pull against it. The light tug set Andrew off even more and he nipped at Neil's lip slightly harder which drew a tantalizing moan from Neil. It made Andrew's mind spin, it had been so long since he'd felt someone pressed those close to him, since he'd _wanted_ to feel someone so close to him.

“Fuck,” Neil gasped, “Andrew, this is...”

Neil broke off this kiss pushed Andrew away slightly and Andrew watched as Neil angled his body away from him. Andrew blinked for a few seconds before putting as much space as he could between himself and Neil in the car. He was already kicking himself in his head, he'd pushed too far with Neil just because he didn't want to think about his own bullshit memories.

“Say no next time,” Andrew rasped, “Don't say yes just because you think I want it.”

“It's not that,” Neil said softly, “I wanted to kiss you, it was amazing, but...”

“But what?” Andrew asked.

Neil turned his head slightly to look at Andrew, “I'm...and it's embarrassing.”

Andrew studded Neil's face for a moment before Neil angled his head downwards and it all clicked. Neil was turned on, and hard, and he was embarrassed. Fuck.

Neil blushed and tried to pull his hands down to cover his eyes, “I've never had this kind of reaction to anyone before you, I...I don't really know what to do about it.”

“You've never...” Andrew trailed off, not sure how to phrase himself, “Yourself?”

Neil blinked for a few seconds before blushing even deeper, “Oh, um, yeah. I've done that before but it was always kinda just...mechanical and it didn't even really feel that good? This though, this feels _fucking great_ and I don't really know what to do?”

Andrew sighed and ran a hand through his own hair, “You don't have to do anything that you don't want to, Neil. I'm _never_ going to force you into something you're not comfortable with.”

“OK,” Neil gave Andrew a crooked smile, “I think, uh, we should just go upstairs?”

“Yeah,” Andrew agreed.

Neil got out of the car first and Andrew gave him a minute or two of alone time while he rested his own head against the wheel again. He felt terrible for making Neil feel that way, for even wanting to push it further in the first place. He promised himself in that moment before he got out of the car that he wouldn't make a single move in the future without Neil's explicit consent.

 

<O>

 

NEIL leaned against the wall as he waited for Andrew to make his way across the parking lot. He'd finally calmed down from the...experience with Andrew back in the car and he was beginning to think straight again. He felt terrible for making Andrew think he was forcing himself on Neil or something but Neil couldn't deny that the sudden swell of feelings and the feeling of someone other than his body in the morning making him hard slightly overwhelmed him. He still didn't quite understand his attraction to Andrew. Yes, objectively, Andrew was good looking. Yes, Andrew had saved his life on multiple occasions and given him a name and a home and a life. But Neil didn't think any of that played a major part in his growing feelings for Andrew. Neil just felt safe when he was around Andrew, he felt comforted and at peace. When he looked at Andrew all he wanted to do was smile, he wanted to feel Andrew's hand running through his hair, or he just wanted to sit in silence with him and do nothing. Andrew just felt _right._ He resigned himself years ago to the fact that he would never feel a deep connection with another person and then Andrew found his way into Neil's fucked up life and made Neil rethink everything he'd ever thought. It was terrifying and exciting at the same time.

Andrew finally fell into step beside Neil as they waited for the elevator, “Are we walking into a trap?”

“Not as far as I can tell,” Neil said, “I checked as far as I could see and we get up there and start packing just fine.”

Andrew grunted a non-committal reply and Neil smiled as he leaned back against the wall. The elevator arrived a few seconds later and they both stepped inside. Neil stood close to Andrew and bumped their shoulders together.

“Hey?” Neil smiled.

“What?” Andrew asked, looking up at Neil with an annoyed look on his face.

“Can I kiss you?” Neil smiled.

Andrew narrowed his eyes before he pushed himself up on his toes, “One kiss.”

Neil grinned and leaned down to meet Andrew in a small kiss. It was quick and fleeting but it still made Neil's heart flutter. He decided he wanted another so he tapped Andrew on the shoulder and smiled again.

“Seriously?” Andrew shook his head

Neil's only reply was a nod and a bigger smile as Andrew pushed himself up again.

“Junkie,” Andrew muttered against Neil's lips before pushing him away with a light shove.

Neil laughed as he took a few steps back in the elevator and rested his back against the wall. It was weird, he thought, how they could go from life and death situations and serious conversations to making out in the car and an elevator like it was nothing. Neil bit his lip at the thought, he liked it. So much of his life had always been life and death situations and serious conversations that he wanted to savor every light and airy moment for all he could.

The elevator slowed to a stop and the doors pulled open. Andrew stepped out first and slowly led the way to the apartment. He pulled his gun out as he opened the door and ran through a standard sweep of the place before he let Neil come inside, ignoring Neil's annoyed comments as he went along.

“It's clear,” Andrew said as he stepped aside to let Neil in.

“I already told you that,” Neil laughed, “How long do we have?”

“You tell me, Mr. Psychic.” Andrew rolled his eyes, “Go get your money and pack a bag and I'll call Wymack.”

Neil walked down the hallways with Andrew, parting ways as they both entered their respective rooms, and Neil pulled a new bag out of his closet and filled it with a few pairs of clothing and a stack of armbands that he knew he wouldn't be able to wear anytime soon. He pulled a small binder out from the bottom of his closet and flipped it open, double checking that all it's contents were still there and smiled when he located all the coded account numbers and passwords to banks across the country. He pulled out a new outfit for himself to replace Aaron's borrowed clothes and immediately felt better when he was in something that belonged to him, he replaced the sweats with one of the looser pairs of jeans he got when he was out with Andrew and a soft long sleeve shirt that hung down to his knuckles. He grabbed his phone charger from the wall and gave the room one final look over to make sure he wasn't leaving anything before nodding and letting himself back out into the hallway.

Andrew was leaning against the wall across from Neil's door when he stepped out of his room. His arms were crossed over his chest and he had changed into his own clothes as well, he looked Neil over once and sighed, “You need a shower.”

Neil grimaced, it was true, he felt disgusting and he was fairly sure he still had his and other peoples blood in his hair. But he was also covered in bandages and they didn't exactly have time to stop in case someone decided to try and kill them. “I'll deal with that later, we don't have time.”

Andrew's face didn't change, “I'm not letting you back in my car, you smell.”

Neil took a step forward in challenge, “Is that why you stopped kissing me?”

Andrew sighed, pushing himself away from the wall and rolling his eyes, “No.”

“So you'll make out with me when I'm covered in blood and smell but you won't let me sit next to you in the car? Suspicious.” Neil raised an eyebrow.

“Smart ass.” Andrew scoffed.

“That's my name,” Neil hummed, “Don't wear it out.”

Andrew hooked a finger in the collar of Neil's shirt and pulled him towards his bedroom. Neil mumbled in defiance but felt his feet willingly moving under him. He paused for a fraction of a second at Andrew's threshold, it was the first time he could actually remember stepping foot into Andrew's room. Andrew looked back at him for a moment before grabbing him and leading him towards the attached bathroom. Andrew pointed to the edge of the spa tub, “Sit.”

Neil wrinkled his brow in confusion but followed Andrew's command, lowering himself on the edge of the tub. Andrew reached around him to turn on the water and then switched the settings so the water began to flow from the detachable shower head instead of the faucet. Neil made a move to pull his shirt over his head but Andrew's hand gently fell on top of his and stopped him, Neil gave him another confused look but lowered his hands so they were sitting at his side.

“Lean your head back.” Andrew said.

Neil nodded and blinked a few times before tilting his head back towards the stream of water. Andrew stood briefly and unhooked the shower head before lowering himself back to the front of Neil. Neil felt a hand on the back of his neck and opened his eyes to find himself level with Andrew. Andrew grabbed one of Neil's hands and raised it to his face, lightly cupping it over his bandaged cheek, “Don't let it get wet.”

Before Neil could reply Andrew was leaning him back into the tub even further, the strong hand on the back of Neil's neck as the only thing keeping him from falling into the tub. Neil let out a content sigh as he felt the spray of water begin to work through his messy hair. It took a few moments for his hair to soak all the way through but the welcomed warmth moved from the crown of his head and spread lower into the rest of his body. He immediately wished he could feel the water over the rest of his unmarred skin and let it soak into his tight and sore muscles, but having his hair clean was good enough.

The spray moved away from his head shortly after and Andrew leaned him back out of the tub. Neil steadied himself with his free hand, still keeping his other cupped over his cheek, while Andrew reached around him once again. Neil heard the pop of a bottle and then Andrew's hands were in his hair, gliding sloppily through his tangled hair and massaging deep circles into his scalp. Neil was unable to contain the content sigh that escaped his mouth and he didn't miss how Andrew's lips quirked at the sound.

Neil leaned back once again as Andrew withdrew his hands and the water returned to his head as Andrew spent a few minutes washing the shampoo out. Andrew repeated the process for the conditioner but Neil suspected he spent a few extra minutes on the scalp massaging portion because Neil couldn't control the small gasps of pleasure that escaped his lips.

When Andrew was done with Neil's hair he cut the water off and hung the shower head back in it's original spot. Andrew disappeared from the room for a moment and returned with a large towel draped over his arms. Neil waited a moment for Andrew to throw it at him and was surprised when Andrew lowered himself back in front of him and began to run the towel through his hair. Andrew tossed the towel to the side after he was done with Neil's hair and they both looked at each other for several long moments.

Neil was the first to speak as he leaned forward slightly, “Hey, yes or no?”

“What?” Andrew asked.

“You keep asking me that before you kiss me so I figured I'd return the favor.” Neil smiled.

Andrew rolled his eyes, “I keep asking because I want you to think about it and make sure it's what you really want, idiot.”

“How do I know you really want to kiss me if I don't ask you?” Neil challenged.

Andrew was silent for a moment before letting out a low growl, “Yes.”

Neil laughed softly and leaned forward, slotting their lips together. He was feeling a bit more adventurous so he gave Andrew's bottom lip an experimental bite and he didn't miss how Andrew's shoulders shook at the surprise. Andrew's tongue licked forward and found it's way into Neil's mouth and Neil met it in a challenge with his own tongue as they both battled for dominance. Andrew, being the one with more experience, won in the end and Neil submitted to defeat with a shaky breath into Andrew's mouth as Andrew's tongue explored.

“Andrew,” Neil breathed as his head fell backwards and away from Andrew.

Neil's eyes were closed and he gasped in surprise when he felt Andrew's lips press against his neck. Neil shivered when he felt the press of teeth to his skin and he hissed and Andrew began to prod his neck.

“Is this OK?” Andrew mumbled into his skin.

“Yes,” Neil hissed, “God, fuck, yes.”

Neil groaned as Andrew pulled him closer and sunk his teeth slightly deeper into his neck, it wasn't nearly enough to break the skin but it produced a stinging sensation that was fucking amazing. Neil felt himself growing harder as Andrew pressed closer and as he moved his leg he could feel the press of Andrew's bulge beneath his own jeans. Unlike the car the surprise of arousal didn't scare Neil, he knew his body was reacting this way to Andrew and only because he liked the feel of Andrew specifically. He couldn't explain the way he knew, he just knew that his body had never felt like this before, even when he'd seen people he would objectively call attractive he never wanted to feel their teeth biting into his skin.

Andrew broke off the kiss and pushed Neil away, holding him at arms length. Both of their breathing was labored and Neil could see a slight pink flush to Andrew's normally pale skin. Neil resisted the urge to dive back in and crush their lips together.

“We should go,” Andrew said in between breaths.

“Yeah,” Neil mumbled, “More...more important things to do.”

Andrew stood and retreated from the bathroom and Neil felt himself going soft again the second Andrew's touch left his body. He stayed on the edge of the tub for a few minutes to collect himself before leaving the room. He paused on his way out to look at Andrew's bed and thought for the briefest of moments what it would feel like to be pressed beneath Andrew while they were both in it.

Neil found Andrew sitting on the arm of the couch with both of their bags at his feet. He stood when Neil made it into the living room and Neil settled into a spot next to him for a moment, content to just feel Andrew's presence by his side.

Neil opened his mouth to ask Andrew a question at the same moment as three furious knocks came from the front door. They both stilled and Andrew reached for his gun as Neil slid the knife out of his pocket and flicked it open. Andrew took a step towards the door but Neil stopped him with a hushed whisper.

Neil leaned against the arm of the couch and pressed his hand deep into the surface and stilled his body as he closed his eyes. It took a few moments before the images flashed before his eyes and he opened his mouth to sigh as his mind rejoined his body. He had gotten used to the new way to process the visions so he only took a moment to recover himself before he walked to the front door and opened it, ignoring Andrew's protests.

“Oh my god!” Nicky yelped, “You're both alive! I was so worried, no one would talk to me! I couldn't get either of your phones, Aaron wouldn't give me any answers, Wymack won't pick up! I thought you were dead in a ditch somewhere! What the fuck was that call last night?”

Neil opened his mouth to answer but Nicky took in the sight of his bandaged face and screamed before reaching out to pull him into a hug. Neil winced and braced himself for contact that never came and he opened his eyes to see Nicky paused mid advancement.

“Neil,” Nicky said softly, “What happened to your face? You look terrible and oh my god what happened to your nec-oh my god.”

“My neck?” Neil echoed, as far as he knew there was nothing wrong with his neck. Neil raised an experimental hand to his neck to check for any signs of injury and he gasped when he felt a small bruise right where Andrew's teeth had been, “Oh.”

Nicky's eyes darted between Andrew and Neil and Neil felt himself blush, “I was right! I'm always right!”

“You barge into my house claiming you're worried about us but this is what you want to talk about?” Andrew narrowed his eyes.

Nicky blinked a few times before frowning, “What the hell happened last night? You both look terrible and you sounded freaked the fuck out on the phone.”

“It's a long story,” Andrew shook his head, “You need to come with us, you'll hear it soon enough. We're meeting up with the team and Wymack.”

“The team?” Nicky questioned, “Why does Neil need to meet the team?”

Andrew sighed and leaned down to pick up both bags before placing a hand on Nicky's shoulder and pushing him towards the door. Neil turned to follow them but paused halfway there, he felt something prickling on the back of his neck and his skin went cold. Something told him to stop and ground his hand around the counter and close his eyes. As Neil waited for a moment the images flashed in front of his brain, the door exploding inward off the hinges and into Nicky, sending him flying across the room and into the glass door of the patio, impaling him on a large shard of glass as he lay bleeding out on the balcony.

“Nicky!” Neil screamed as he lunched forward, “Move!”

Andrew stepped to the side out of surprise and Nicky turned around, frozen in confusion, Neil dove towards him just as he felt the rumbling on the other side of the door. Neil made contact with Nicky's chest mid air and pushed out with both hands to send him tumbling into the kitchen just as the door exploded inward and off the hinges. Neil had almost cleared the impact of the door but he wasn't fast enough and the door slammed into his feet as it flew across the apartment. The unnatural strength of the impact sent Neil spinning through the air and he landed a few feet away where he originally stood. Neil's arms began to burn with pain as he crashed on top of the coffee table and felt in break into pieces below him.

Neil's vision was slightly blurred as he looked up be he could make out the form of Andrew reached for his gun and drawing it at the man who stood in the doorway. The attacker was clad in a tight suit, he had dark hair that was slicked back and a pale face with sunken in cheeks, he was gaunt and almost wraith like. Andrew wasted no time with a warning before he fired off a shot in the mans direction. The man simply smiled and raised a hand in Andrew's direction, holding his flat palm forward to Andrew and Neil felt the same rumbled from before the door exploded. Before Neil could process what was happening Andrew was sent flying through the apartment, he watched as Andrew sailed through the air and into the far wall with a loud crash. Neil watched as Andrew's limp body fell from the wall and left an Andrew sized hole in it's wake.

Neil struggled to push himself up but the pain in his arms was too strong, it felt like all the skin was being peeled off of him slowly and every time he tried to push himself upwards he screamed in pain. He heard the footsteps coming closer towards him and looked up to find the man standing above him, he slid a phone out of his pocket and punched in a number as he lifted his foot and pressed it down on top of Neil's hand.

“Sheena?” The man said, “It's Jack, I found them.”

The man, Jack, paused while the person on the other end of the line replied to him. Jack was silent for a few moments before he spoke again, “I found them at the apartment, the idiots actually went back to it. I've got the bird, the boyfriend, and the faggy cousin. No, I obviously don't need backup. Just tell me what to do.”

Jack paused as the person replied to him and the a smile stretched across his face, “Kill the other two and bring the bird back to the nest? Can do, tell the boss I'll see him in a few.”

Jack snapped the phone shut and looked back down at Neil, “I don't know what they see in you, you don't look that special to me.”

Neil tried to push himself up again but Jack increased the pressure on his hand. Neil bit back a scream and instead reached down to his side, rifling through the pieces of the destroyed coffee table until the found a long, club like piece that had a nail sticking out of it. Neil grabbed it with his free hand and swung it towards Jack's leg, smiling as it made contact and the nail sunk into Jack's calf.

Jack cried out in pain and took a step backwards. Neil used this moment to roll his body in the opposite direction. He moved just in time as Jack's hand reached out and Neil felt the room shake before a deep hole was left in the floor where Neil's body had been just a few seconds earlier. It was some kind of energy manipulation and Neil realized that Jack had the ability to control the pressure of the attack. He knew he needed to avoid the blasts as much as possible so he didn't end up a crushed mess of bone and blood on the floor.

Neil was finally able to push himself to his feet and he darted behind the couch, crouching just in time as Jack sent a blast of energy towards his head. Neil just missed the rush of pressure and it traveled past him and through the glass doors, blowing them out and showering the balcony in glass. Neil looked up just in time to see Andrew dash towards Jack and tackle him from the side. Jack gasped out in surprise and he tumbled to the ground with Andrew's arms wrapped around him.

Andrew sent a strong arm flying into Jack's stomach before his other elbow collided with Jack's nose. Blood began to pour from Jack's face and he spit it back at Andrew, covering his once clean clothes with splotches of blood. Jack leveraged himself against Andrew's smaller stature and was able to wedge a hand between the two of them. Neil felt the room shake as Jack hit Andrew with that he hoped was a low powered blast.

Andrew let out a pained gasp as his body flew upwards, directly into the ceiling. Andrew's body slammed into the roof before falling back to the hardwood floor. Again, Andrew left behind an Andrew sized hole from where he made contact and this time he stayed down on the ground.

Neil pulled the knife he had tucked in his boot out and flipped it open, he held it ready in his hand before he show up from behind the couch. The timing needed to be perfect so Neil took a chance in throwing the knife just before Jack raised his hand. Neil had been watching and made note of how, similar to him, Jack's ability needed a second to charge before it worked. Neil watched as his knife flew through the air and embedded itself in Jack's palm with a satisfying sound.

Jack screamed out in pain and ripped the knife from his hand, “You fucking piece of shit, I'm going to kill you!”

“Try me,” Neil narrowed his eyes and hurdled over the couch and towards Jack. A fight in his condition would hurt but it, hopefully, wouldn't kill him.

Jack swept out with his leg and caught Neil in his stomach. Neil stumbled back for a moment as he gasped for air. Jack was more focused on his bleeding hand and as soon as Neil recovered he struck out with his elbow, catching Jack in the center of his chest and sending him staggering towards the door. Neil lowered his head and rammed it into Jack's center of gravity and he fell on his ass and out into the hallway.

Neil looked back at Andrew and Nicky who were both still unconscious, he needed to get Jack away from both of them, especially Nicky, so he ran into the hallway and continued the fight. Jack was on his feet by the time Neil got to him and he lashed out with his good hand, catching Neil on his unbandaged cheek. Neil grunted through the pain as he shook his head and ducked under Jack's next punch. He balled his hand into a fist and swiped upwards with an uppercut, catching Jack just under his chin and sending him flying back to the ground.

Jack scrambled backwards until his back was flush with the elevator and he used it to prop himself up as he rose from the ground. Neil rushed forward and leaned in for a punch as Jack hit the button to open the door to the elevator. The door opened instant and Jack stepped inside, narrowly missing Neil's fist. The sudden distance threw Neil's momentum off and he stumbled into the elevator after Jack, crashing into his body as he fell towards the wall. The doors behind them closed and suddenly Neil was in a close quarters fight with the attacker.

Jack jabbed Neil's stomach with his good hand before swinging at him with the elbow of his ruined arm. Both blows connected and Neil staggered backwards the few feet towards the opposite wall of the elevator. When Neil pushed himself forward to strike at Jack he accidentally pushed the button for the 65th floor and as he made contact with Jack's face the elevator began to move downwards.

Jack stilled for a moment at the surprise movement but recovered quickly and sent a kick in Neil's direction. Jack's foot made contact with Neil's burned cheek and Neil screamed in pain as he fell to his knees and the bandage ripped itself away from his skin. Jack kicked him again and this time the blow landed in Neil's stomach. Neil caught his breath and just as Jack kicked again Neil caught his foot and wrenched it to the side, twisting it and yanking Jack's other foot out from under him. Jack landed on the floor of the elevator with a thud and Neil pounced on top of him and punched him one, two, three times in the face until Jack's nose was twisted and bloody. Then, just for good measure, Neil decided to punch him once in the throat, smiling as Jack wheezed and gasped for breath before passing out.

The elevator slowed to a stop as Neil was straddled atop Jack and the mechanical voice reverberated off of the metal walls with the announcement that they had just arrived on the 65th floor. The doors slowly pulled open and Neil looked up and found himself face to face with two small twin girls and their mother. The first little girl let out an ear shattering scream as she took in the sight of Neil's scarred face sitting on top of Jack's mangled and bloody body. The mother instinctively yanked both of her children backwards and fled down the hallway.

Neil caught her eye as she went and manged his best smile, which was betrayed by blood covered teeth from the many blows to the head, “You might want to take the next one.”

Neil let out a small huff of a laugh and rolled himself off of Jack's body. His face was beginning to sting from where Jack had hit him and pulled off his bandage. Neil rested his back against the wall of the elevator and lazily reached up to the panel to push the button for the 70th floor. The elevator doors closed and the slow ascent began again.

Jack stayed down for the entire ride and Neil willed his body upwards as the elevator came to a strop on the 70th floor. He hooked his arms under Jack's shoulders and pulled Jack's body out into the hallway, just in case someone else called the elevator. Realistically, he knew the police were probably on their way but he needed to see if Nicky and Andrew were OK. Just for good measure Neil returned back to the hallway before checking on either of them men, this time brandishing his knife again, and held Jack's good hand against the ground before driving his knife through it and pinning him to the ground. No one said he had to use handcuffs and if anyone complained about it, well, at least Neil didn't kill him.

Neil left Jack in the hall and found Andrew just beginning to stir when he got back into he apartment. Figuring that Andrew was at least somewhat alive he turned his attention to Nicky who was still face down in the kitchen. Neil checked his pulse and sighed in relief when he found one. He took note of the large welt forming on Nicky's head and rolled him to his side so he would be more comfortable when he awoke.

Neil looked up at the sound of Andrew stumbling over to him, Andrew's face was a patchwork of small cuts and he knew that his body had to be bruised beyond belief from the high impacts of the wall and ceiling.

“You OK?” Neil asked as Andrew came to a stop and rested against the counter top.

“I feel like I got hit by a fucking train,” Andrew groaned, “How's Nicky?”

Neil looked up at him and shrugged, “You kinda did. Nicky's alive, just unconscious.”

Andrew grunted in affirmation, “You good?”

“Aside from nearly every inch of my body screaming in pain, yeah.”

Andrew glared at him and staggered around to a drawer next to Neil's head and pulled out a bandage. Andrew sunk to his knee and held Neil's head in his hands before gently affixing the bandage over his marred cheek. Neil let out a soft breath and rested his forehead against Andrew and relaxed his shoulders and pressed his body weight forward when Andrew didn't immediately push him off.

“He was one of them?” Andrew asked.

“Yeah,” Neil mumbled, “He's out in the hallway. I beat the shit out of him.”

Andrew huffed and Neil smiled at the warm breath that blew across his nose, “Good.”

“I was gonna kill him,” Neil admitted, “But I thought he might be able to use him for information instead.”

Andrew seemed to consider his words for a moment before speaking, “Character development, I'm proud .”

Neil laughed and pushed Andrew back slightly, “You might want to call Wymack and have him run interference, I may or may not have been seen by a family of three covered in blood while I was beating the shit out of someone.”

“Great,” Andrew groaned as he pushed himself off of the counter with a wince, “You live to make my life difficult don't yo-”

Andrew's body suddenly flew across the room, colliding with yet another wall. Neil was momentarily shocked into paralysis until his eyes registered the bloody and mangled form of Jack standing in the doorway. Jack's left hand was raised in front of him and split nearly down the middle from Neil's knife. He must have ripped his hand from the floor, not caring that he split his hand open in the process. The hand began to pour blood as he shook and Neil was on his feet a second too late. The blast came just as Neil lept from the kitchen and caught him mid air, it sent him flying through the unbroken glass door and out onto the balcony. Neil was vaguely aware of the shards of glass the embedded themselves into his back but Jack held out his other hand, also mangled and bloody, and Neil felt a constant stream of pressure holding him into place. The force beat down on him like a hammer, constantly hitting him in the center of the chest and pulsing through the rest of his body. Neil could feel his bones close to breaking as the force pushed down on him and the concrete of the balcony began to crack around his body.

“Fuck what they want,” Jack snarled, “I'm going to kill you, then kill your little fucking boyfriend, then find everyone you've ever spoken to and fucking kill the-”

Three gunshots rang out from behind Jack and Neil saw the bright red blooms under Jack's white shirt. The pressure let up immediately as the second gunshot made contact with Jack's body and Neil gasped frantically for air. A stunned expression crossed over Jack's face before Neil saw his eyes go dark and Jack fell to his knees.

Neil propped himself up on his elbows, ignoring the pain of glass in his arms, and looked over Jack's body and back into the apartment. Where he expected to find Andrew standing with a gun raised he instead found Nicky.

Nicky was standing in the living room next to the demolished coffee table and holding a still smoking gun in front of his body. Neil watched as the realization of what just happened crossed over Nicky's face and his stomach sunk as he saw Nicky's eyes fill with tears as his hands began to tremble. The gun slipped from Nicky's hands and clattered to the floor just before Nicky dropped to his knees and began to sob.

Neil looked at him for a moment, helplessly stuck on the ground, before he fought through the pain and crawled over broken glass to get to Nicky. Nicky's body was trembling as he was wracked with sobs and Neil lightly wrapped his arms around Nicky's shoulders and pulled him in close. Any aversions Neil had to touch were overwritten by the intense need to comfort his friend. Neil understood that Nicky wasn't like him or even Andrew. Nicky was not a killer, he didn't have what it took to make the tough decision of ending someones life without the emotion behind it. But still, Neil realized, Nicky did it to save him.

Nicky sobbed even more as he collapsed into Neil's arms and Neil pulled him in tighter. Andrew stumbled down the hallway with his gun at the ready and stooped in his tracks when he saw Nicky huddled into Neil's arms. Neil's eyes caught Andrew and he turned his head back out to the balcony towards Jack's body. The realization crossed over Andrew in an instant as his eyes drifted from Jack to Nicky and he holstered his gun.

Andrew silently nodded to Neil as he went for his phone to call Wymack. Neil could offer no words of comfort to Nicky, he couldn't tell him he understood how he felt, because he didn't. But he could allow Nicky to lean on him. It was the least he could do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i cant believe this just crossed 100k i never intended for it to be this massive lol


	23. Why We Fight

 

 

 

 

XXIII

Why We Fight

 

REYNOLDS was the first to arrive at the apartment. Andrew divided his time between Neil and Nicky, checking on both of their well beings as he tried to ignore the body on his balcony and the fucking disaster zone that had become his once cherished apartment. He averted his eyes from the holes in the walls and ceiling that had been caused by his own body, the ruined furniture, the shattered windows, and the broken balcony. The only small bit of comfort he had is that no one got sent flying out of one of the large windows and down to the street below.

Andrew looked up when he heard the telltale sound of heels clicking against the hardwood just before Reynolds spoke, “Fuck me,”

“No thanks,” Andrew shook his head, “You're not my type.”

“Clearly,” Reynolds scoffed and Andrew didn't miss how her eyes flashed towards Neil with a hit of amusement, “Wymack is downstairs running interference with local PD but we have to move fast.”

Neil's head perked up as he caught the conversation, “What do you mean?”

Nicky looked as if he was vaguely paying attention to the conversation as well but it was hard for Andrew to tell much besides the shock in Nicky's vacant eyes. Nicky sat on the edge of the sofa with a cup of coffee cradled in his hands; he’d barely taken a sip of it since Neil gave it to him. Andrew was more than impressed with how Neil was handing Nicky and he felt some sort of pride to see the boy that he felt something for rush to comfort the last bit of family he had left. Not that Andrew would ever admit that to Neil.

Reynolds looked from Neil to Andrew before speaking, “Wymack filled me in on the basics on the drive over here. We need to get the boy wonder out of here before the division swoops in.”

“What?” Neil snapped, “I'm not going anywhere! I'm not leaving Andrew or Nicky!”

Reynolds turned to Neil with a sigh, “Listen, you're not a person. No offense. You have no ID, no history, and you've been involved in like...ten crimes in the last two months. The team that's on its way is part of a group within the FBI that specializes in these types of situations and they will sniff you out within minutes. If you want to stay with Doe and Hemmick rather than being carted off to an interrogation room in some hole then you need to get out of here, just for a little while.”

Neil's mouth pressed into a thin line and Andrew could tell he was radiating with anger over the fact that Reynolds was right.

“He's not going anywhere by himself,” Andrew said, “And I assume I need to be here with Nicky to help sell this story.”

Reynolds nodded, “Correct. Boyd was right behind me, he's going to get Neil out of the building and take him to the park or something, I don't know. I assume you're fine with that?”

Andrew sucked in a deep breath, it wasn't ideal but he had to admit that out of everyone he could leave Neil with, Boyd wasn't the worst option. He'd have preferred Walker, because she could probably take out just as many people as Neil in a few minutes flat, but if she wasn't here with Reynolds then she was probably working on something equally as important. “Fine.”

“Good, now that this whole mole business has been cleared up it would be nice if we could start trusting each other again. Which, by the way, fuck you for ever thinking I was one.” Reynolds rolled her eyes.

“Who's Boyd?” Neil asked.

Reynolds laughed, “He's like, 17 feet tall, dark and handsome, and the literal definition of human sunshine. You'll hate him.”

Neil grimaced and folded his hands over his chest, playing with the hems of his sleeves, “Would it be OK if Boyd took me to Abby? Jack did a number on me and...”

Andrew stopped him, “Call her when you get in the car, Boyd will take you.”

It seemed Neil was learning self preservation. Another surprise of the day.

“I'll be out in the hall, I'm going to call Wymack and let him know that Neil and Boyd are going to meet up with Abby. The other team should be getting here soon, I'll run interference with them the best I can but you need to get it into Hemmick's head that he cannot mention Neil and that he didn't see this Jack guy do anything out of the ordinary.” Reynolds waited for Andrew's nodded conformation before heading back into the hall.

As soon as Reynolds disappeared from view Neil stepped in close and placed a hand on Andrew's shoulder, resting his head on top of it, “Are you hurt? You need to get checked out too.”

Andrew let out a small breath before lightly knocking his head against Neil's, “I've had worse.”

Neil rolled his eyes, “You sound like me.”

They were both silent for a few minutes, just taking comfort in the closeness. Andrew caught a spark of something in Nicky's eyes and shook his head. Of course an intimate moment between him and Neil would be the first thing to snap Nicky out of his shock.

“I don't want to leave you,” Neil said softly.

“You're not leaving me,” Andrew said, “Reynolds is right, and if you ever tell her I said that I'll kill you, you shouldn't be here when the X-Files arrive.”

Neil's quirked his head to the side, “Is that what they're called? What a terrible name.”

Andrew looked up at Neil, the beautiful and oblivious Neil, and just stared at him, “Wow.”

“What?” Neil blinked, confused.

The heavy footfalls from the door of the apartment drew both of their attention. Neil was the first to spot Boyd was he entered the room, actually having to duck under the archway.

“Wow,” Boyd whistled, “You really do have a kick ass apartment, Doe.”

Andrew realized that today was the first time anyone he worked with aside from Nicky and Kevin had been in his apartment. Of course they had to see it like this.

“The Andrew shaped hole in the ceiling really adds a certain flare to the room, doesn't it?” Neil winked, nudging Andrew in the shoulder.

Andrew glared at him while Boyd let out a yelp of a laugh.

“You must be Neil,” Boyd practically bounced over to Neil and crouched in front of him like he was a kid talking to an excited puppy, “I've heard a lot about you and I'm already in love.”

“Uh, thanks?” Neil mumbled, taking an instinctive step back and coming to a stop slightly behind Andrew.

Boyd, unlike Nicky at first, was attuned to people’s boundaries and Andrew was sure Reynolds had already told him the story of how Neil reacted at the mall. Boyd took two steps back and placed a respectful distance between himself and Neil. Boyd's move calmed Andrew's nerves, only slightly. Neil seemed to take note of the gesture and Andrew saw his shoulders relax as he stepped back to his previous position at Andrew's side instead.

“You're Boyd, right?” Neil asked, “17 feet tall and handsome?”

Andrew coughed in surprise and Boyd let out another laugh.

“I see Reynolds has been providing descriptions again.” Boyd laughed, “You can call me Matt, or Boyd if you're more comfortable with that.”

“Uh, Matt is fine...if you're fine with that?” Neil said as he nervously played with the hem of his shirt.

“Perfectly fine,” Boyd grinned, “You good with Neil?”

“I don't have any other names so,” Neil shrugged as he trailed off.

“Alright then, Neil. Wanna get out of here before those creeps from the X-Files show up?” Boyd smiled.

“They really need to change that name,” Neil shook his head, “It's so dumb.”

Boyd's eyes went wide and his mouth gaped, “You're already my favorite person.”

“Thanks?” Neil raised an eyebrow.

Andrew shook his head, “Get him out of here before they come, take the freight elevator on the 60th floor.”

Boyd nodded and turned to head for the door. Neil paused for a moment and trailed a finger lightly over the top of Andrew's hand. “I'll see you soon.”

Andrew nodded and let Neil go. Boyd was waiting at the door for him and before Neil stepped out of view Andrew called to them both, “Watch his back, Boyd. If anything happens to him I'm taking one of your fingers.”

Neil let out a sharp laugh, “All I'm worth is a finger?”

Andrew gave Neil the best flat stare he could muster and held up his hand, stretching out his middle finger. “Yes.”

Neil mimed reaching out and catching something in the air while smiling and stuffing his empty hand in his pocket before following after Boyd. Andrew couldn't stop the small smirk that raised the side of his mouth and he made a mental note to ask Neil where he learned that.

 

<O>

 

NEIL rode the freight elevator down to the street level in a tense silence. Matt Boyd was a giant and Neil could swear he was easily as tall as Andrew and Aaron would be if they sat on each others shoulders. It had been a long time since he was alone with someone he didn't know, someone he wasn't sure if he could trust so he fell back into the old habits of assessing a threat. Matt had long arms, almost impossibly long, so Neil knew that he needed to stay out of range of them. Matt seemed to be a little more unsteady on his left foot than his right which Neil thought might be due to an old injury or something, a broken foot maybe. It was perfect, if he needed to get away from Matt all he would have to do is snake around his large reach and hit him in that foot. If the injury was as bad as Neil hoped it was, it should at least give him time to slip away and make it back to Andrew.

Neil paused to brace himself against the wall a few times as they walked together. He told Matt he just needed a second to catch his breath after his fight with Jack but he really took those few seconds to ground his touch against the brick before taking in the flashes of his future time with Matt. Nothing seemed to stand out to him as particularly dangerous, and in a stunning turn of events, Neil saw himself laughing as something Matt said. Maybe he was going crazy?

“I just texted Wymack,” Matt said, breaking the silence, “He's a bit annoyed that you have to bother his wife again but he said she's already expecting us so we're going to head over to his house before we meet up with the rest of the team.”

“Team?” Neil echoed, “How many are there?”

“Let's see,” Matt hummed, “There's me, obviously. Then there's my partner, Dan Wilds, you'll like her, she's crazy strong and a fucking bad ass.”

Neil smiled, begrudgingly.

“Then there's Reynolds, who you've already met,” Matt laughed, “She can be a bit...intense at times but she means well. Mostly. Her partner, Walker, is almost the complete opposite of her. Walker is quiet and soft spoken but don't let that fool you, I've seen her take down men three times her size and disarm two guys at once without breaking a sweat.”

Neil shuddered and added Walker to his list of potential threats. Andrew seemed to like her but he's had more than enough experience with people he'd describe exactly as Matt did Renee Walker and he wasn't going to take any chances.

“And Wymack and Andrew, obviously.” Matt nodded, “So including you and me that makes nine of us.”

Neil cringed at the thought, being in the same room as two or three people, even with Andrew, was already so fucking hard. But being in the room with seven others besides him and Andrew? That was downright unbearable.

Matt must have noticed his reaction because he stopped walking and turned to face Neil, leaning down slightly so they could lock eyes, “Hey, what's wrong?”

“I, uh,” Neil trailed off, “I'm...not good around large groups of people I don't know.”

Matt frowned and took a step back, “Damn, I didn't think of that.”

“You what?” Neil asked.

“Well,” Matt smiled, “I just didn't really think about how you would feel with all of us, which I'm realizing it kind of shitty. I'll talk to Wymack while you're being checked out by Abby and see if we can figure something out that's not so...intense at first.”

“Why are you being nice to me?” Neil questioned as he took a defensive step away from Matt.

“Why wouldn't I be?” Matt looked genuinely confused, “You haven't done anything to me, I'm reasonably sure you're not a horrible criminal, and you're close with Doe who, like it or not, I consider a friend.”

“But you don't _know_ me!” Neil hissed, “You don't know what I've done, or who I've hurt! How can you just say stuff like that to me? What are you trying to do?”

“I'm not trying to do anything,” Matt said softly, “Listen, I know there's some crazy shit going on, OK? I know you're involved somehow, along with Doe, and I know there's a dead body up there that's been beat the hell up and I know there's a lot of shit you've been involved with in these last couple months, but guess what? I don't care. I like to think that I'm a pretty good judge of character, I haven't gotten this far without at least being sure of that, and you know what I see when I look at you?”

Neil blinked at him a few times before answering with a hoarse, “What?”

“I see someone who's been through some bad stuff,” Matt sighed, “You're scared to let people touch you, you don't take what anyone says for face value, and you're fiercely protective of the one person you do trust. I get it, really. But I also see someone who looks like they need a break, like they want to stop living on the edge of some live wire. So, if you'll let me, I'd like to just give you some time to relax. Just give me some kind of trust, at least until I get you to Abby. Give yourself a minute to calm down and relax, you're not in danger right now so stop looking for exits or trying to judge how easy it would be for you to take me out by my damn foot that never healed right after I broke it for the fourth time.”

Neil gaped at him, Matt had him read like a book and Neil was unsettled. He was losing his touch and it scared him. But something about Matt also calmed him, maybe it was his fierce delivery or pretty words, but whatever it was Neil couldn't deny that he did feel safe. Or as safe as he could possibly feel in the moment.

Neil let out a small breath and then slumped against the wall, “Fine. Take me to Abby.”

 

<O>

 

“NICKY,” Andrew began, “I need you to listen to me.”

Andrew was crouched in front of the couch trying to get Nicky's attention. Nicky, for his part, had been blinking in and out of alertness for the past couple minutes but at least he'd stopped trembling.

“Where's Neil?” Nicky finally asked.

“He's with Boyd, they're going to see Abby to make sure he's OK,” Andrew nodded.

“He's alive?” Nicky's eyes went wide.

Andrew let out a sigh. Nicky didn't even remember Neil comforting him earlier. “Yes, he's alive. Because of you.”

“I shot...I shot that guy.” Nicky mumbled.

“Yes,” Andrew said, his voice firm, “He's dead. And you saved Neil's life.”

“I did?” Nicky blinked.

“Yes,” Andrew huffed, “Now I need you to listen to me. Someone is going to come and talk to you in a few minutes, they're going to ask you what happened and you cannot mention Neil.”

“Don't mention Neil?” Nicky asked, “Why?”

“Because, it's not safe, I'll explain it to you later, just tell me you understand.” Andrew placed both hands on Nicky's shoulders and looked him in the eyes.

“I came over to check on you, this guy broke into your house and knocked me out, I woke up and found him standing over you and I shot him.” Nicky repeated the line a few times, “Does that work?”

“Yeah,” Andrew nodded, “That's perfect. Take a minute to get yourself together; I'll try to hold this asshole off for as long as possible.”

Nicky gave Andrew his best forced smile and Andrew nodded before standing and walking back to Reynolds who had just hung up her phone.

“That was Boyd,” Reynolds said, “He and the boy wonder just got to Abby's.”

“Boyd has all his fingers and toes?” Andrew asked.

“He said they came to an understanding,” Reynolds shrugged, “I didn't hear anything that sounded like bloodshed.”

An understanding? Andrew silently wondered. Before his mind could pick that over anymore a man stepped into his apartment. His head was closely shaved and he was wearing a pair of black aviators. His suit was cropped tight and fit perfectly in all the right spots and when he took off his sunglasses his eyes fell directly on Reynolds.

“I should have figured I'd find you here,” The guy said to Reynolds as he took a look around the apartment, “What the fuck happened here?”

Reynolds rolled her eyes, “You know exactly what the fuck happened here because you are here, unfortunately.”

Andrew narrowed his eyes at the man as they finally made contact, the guy spoke before Andrew could, “I thought they had a height cut off for the FBI?”

“Seth, I don't come to your job and knock the dicks out of your mouth so can we move this thing along? I can only stand to be around you for short periods of time and I'm already reaching my limit,” Reynolds took a deep breath and flashed her fakest smile, “Special Agent Andrew Doe meet Special Agent Seth Gordon.”

“Doe, huh?” Gordon laughed, “Like a dead body?”

“No,” Andrew glared, “Like deer, a female deer.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Reynolds raised an eyebrow.

“Musicals,” Nicky said softly, “Andrew has always liked The Sound of Music.”

Andrew glared at him but decided against punching someone who was already in shock.

Gordon took one look at Nicky and grinned, “You must be the killer.”

Nicky's entire body went stiff and he instinctively folded in on himself, it was something Andrew hadn't seen him do in years, not since he had to hide himself around his shitty excuse for parents.

“I'm just messing with you,” Gordon rolled his eyes, “Tell me what happened, Hemmick.”

“I came over to see Andrew, this guy broke in, he knocked me out, and when I woke up I found him standing over Andrew and he looked like he was going to kill him so I pulled my gun and shot him until he dropped.” Nicky shuddered.

“That all you saw?” Gordon leaned forward and waved his hand around the apartment, noting the hole in the ceiling, “You didn't wonder how all of this could happen in a fight?”

Nicky grinned, it was small but it was there, “You've never seen my cousin fight, Gordon. One time I saw him pick up a table that should have been bolted to the ground and throw it at a group of assholes who were harassing me at some shitty straight club.”

“You done asking him questions?” Andrew asked.

“Sure, why not?” Gordon shrugged, “Go get yourself cleaned up, Hemmick. I'll contact you if I have anymore questions.”

Andrew gripped Nicky by the elbow, “Wymack is down in the garage, Erik should be with him. They'll take you to get checked out. I'll call you later.”

Nicky nodded and shuffled out of the apartment. As soon as he was out of earshot Gordon's face changed. “Tell me what the fuck really happened, Doe.”

“Asshole broke down my door with whatever the fuck kind of shit he could do, threw me around the apartment, I got in a few good hits and a couple nice shots with a knife, and then Nicky shot him.”

Gordon looked him up and down, “You seem awfully nonchalant about the fact that you were just attacked by a guy with superpowers.”

Andrew laughed, “Is that what you guys call them? Seriously?”

Reynolds interrupted, “Doe has seen some stuff lately, he's had some contact with someone with abilities on another case and it's connected with the guy who attacked him.”

“What case?” Gordon pressed her.

“Sorry,” Reynolds smiled, it was her vicious shark one, “You don't have the clearance for it. It's classified.”

“Excuse me?” Gordon growled, “I have more clearance than the both of you combined.”

“Not this time,” Reynolds shrugged, “Don't believe me? Go downstairs and ask Wymack, he should be finishing up his call with the Assistant Director right now.”

“I see you haven't lost that fucking attitude of yours,” Gordon snapped.

“Nope,” Reynolds winked, “In fact, it's only gotten worse. You're here as a courtesy because I called your boss to let him know about an isolated incident. You're here to see that Hemmick had no idea what happened and that Doe has the clearance level to know about these things now. Now, kindly get the fuck out of here before you start thinking of ways to try and get me to fuck you again.”

Gordon glared at the both of them before turning on his heel, “Fucking waste of my time. Wait until I have Wes call you.”

“Oh no,” Reynolds laughed, “I'm shaking in my boots. Tell him he can talk to me at the next event my parents have.”

Gordon kept walking, pulling out his phone and mumbling into it as he stepped out of the apartment, “This is Gordon, get me the director.”

 

<O>

 

ABBY looked down at Neil with a frown. Neil squirmed under he gaze, her eyes were full of pity and he fucking hated when people looked at him like that. He'd already had to deal with the look from her once today and it wasn't any better having to sit under her sad gaze for a second time. If there was one thing Neil hated almost as much as anything it was when people looked at him with pity.

“The worst of the damage is to your nose,” Abby said softly, “I don't think I need to reset it but it probably won't heal the way you thought it would.”

“I can deal with a crooked nose,” Neil shrugged, “What about the burns?”

“I'm going to clean them again, just to be safe,” Abby said, “I need your shirt off so I can check your stitches.”

Neil's shoulders went rigid before he slowly turned his head to find Matt. Neil didn't want Matt to see the scars for the same reason as Wymack: people who already had a physical advantage over him didn't need to see the scars on his body. Neil didn't want Matt to see what others had been able to do to his body; it was his greatest show of weakness.

Abby noticed this and put a soft hand on his shoulder, the look of pity in her eyes again, “Matt is waiting outside, I told him it would be fine to leave you alone with me.”

Neil blinked up at her face, coughing a few times, “Uh, thanks.”

“No problem,” Abby smiled, “Now, off with the shirt.”

Neil slowly pulled the shirt over his head, wincing at the pain when he pulled at the stitches in his back. Abby walked to his back and lightly drew her fingers across the surfaces of the cuts and stab wounds, pressing around the edges of them to check for any hardness in the skin. Neil bit his lip as Abby cleaned and redressed his burns; the pain was starting to become an afterthought with how many times he'd had to go through the process lately.

“The stitches look good,” Abby said, “You'll have to come back to me in a few weeks to get them out.”

Neil groaned, “Why didn't you just use the dissoluble ones, I saw them in your bag.”

Abby laughed and tapped him on his head, “Because this way you have to came back to me and I can check you out again.”

“As if I don't know how to take my own stitches out,” Neil scoffed.

“I don't know if it's a good or bad thing that I knew you would say that,” Abby shook her head, “I already talked to Andrew about it, you're coming to my office in a few weeks even if he has to drag you.”

“Asshole,” Neil muttered.

“You won't catch me denying that,” Abby laughed, “For as long as David and I have known Andrew he's always been a bit...prickly.”

“Tell me about it,” Neil laughed, but only a little bit.

“Even when he and Kevin would come over for dinner...” Abby trailed off and frowned at the mention of Andrew's old partner, “All I'm saying is that in the years that I've known Andrew I've never seen him so worried about someone like he is about you.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Neil asked.

“No sure,” Abby laughed, “David tells me I like to meddle too much but it's what I do, so...”

Neil heard footsteps from behind him before Matt's voice rang out into the room, “Abby, I know you told me to stay out but I have Wymack on the phone and...oh...”

Neil's body went rigid as he looked up and found himself face to face with Matt. Neil immediately grabbed for his shirt, yelping in pain as the stitches were pulled, and Abby swatted his hand away.

“I'm sorry, Neil,” Abby said softly, “I need to take this call from David, you can get dressed again...just make sure you don't pull off any of your bandages.”

Abby smiled again as she left the room, taking the phone from Matt. Neil made a lunge for his shirt but it fell off of the counter and onto the floor. Neil growled in frustration and bent down to pick it up but let out a sharp cry as his arm made contact with a slightly open kitchen drawer.

“Here,” Matt said, bounding over to help, “Let me get it for you.”

Neil frantically batted Matt's hand away, wincing in pain again, “Don't touch me! Don't look at me!”

Matt persisted, weathering Neil's weak blows as he stepped in front of him to pick up the shirt. Matt held it out in his hands, “Hold up your arms.”

“What?” Neil blinked in astonishment as he slowed down his frantic slaps to Matt's chest.

“You can barely bend down to pick the shirt up, just hold your arms up and I'll slide it over your head.” Matt smiled.

“Why are you...” Neil mumbled, “What?”

Matt laughed softly and lightly grasped Neil's arms, slowly pulling them over his head. Neil was stunned into paralysis and he let Matt manipulate his limbs however he saw fit. Seconds later Neil's vision was blocked by the fabric of the shirt being dropped over his head. Matt lowered Neil's arms and lightly pulled the shirt down before patting him on the head.

“All done,” Matt smiled, “And with less pain!”

Neil's mouth felt dry, “I...uh,”

“Don't worry about it,” Matt waved him away, “It's what friends do.”

“Friends?” Neil gasped, “You just met me! You don't even know me!”

“Like I said,” Matt shrugged, “I'm a good judge of character and I can already tell we're going to be friends.”

Neil narrowed his eyes, “You're worse than Nicky.”

Matt barked out a laugh, “You don't know Nicky that well if you really think that.”

Neil looked up at the impossibly tall man in front of him and thought back to Nicky. Nicky was someone he violently reacted to at the first chance he got. Nicky didn't respect his personal space or boundaries and he spent almost an entire dinner trying to uncover some secret from him but in the end Neil guessed he would consider Nicky a friend. He felt for Nicky after he killed someone, he held Nicky when he cried about it. Neil wondered that if he could consider Nicky a friend then what was to stop him from behind the same for Matt? Andrew obviously trusted Matt enough to leave Neil alone with him and Matt had done nothing but be respectful of his personal space.

“Wanna know a secret?” Matt smiled as his voice dropped down to a whisper.

Neil looked up at him with confusion and Matt just grinned even bigger.

“You're not the only one with a crazy scar,” Matt whispered before pulling up his shirt and pointing to a faint white line that stood out against his dark skin near his hip bone, “Appendix, it was a rough one.”

Neil looked at Matt with a dead stare. Neil thought for a moment that he should be offended, he should be mad about Matt mocking him or making it seem like he knew half of what Neil had been through. Neil was ready to punch him in the stomach until he looked back up at Matt's face. Matt wasn't looking at him with pity. No, the look Neil recognized on Matt's face was one of admiration and Neil realized that Matt was in awe of how strong he must have to be to withstand all the abuse he did.

Neil opened his mouth to speak and was surprised when a wild laugh came out of it, just like in his vision.

Maybe, Neil thought, he could end up being friends with Matt Boyd after all.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a small note: there will be an update on sunday like usual but after that i'm going to take a week off of this crazy update schedule to focus and try to finish writing this entire thing so it can be edited. i should resume the following week with the usual wednesday/sunday


	24. Waiting In The Wings

 

 

 

 

XXIV

Waiting In The Wings

 

“WAIT,” Matt's feet were propped up on the banister of Abby's porch as he looked at Neil with wild bewilderment on his face, “You've actually jumped out of a moving car?”

“Yeah,” Neil shrugged, “It wasn't like it was a big deal or anything.”

Matt barked out a laugh, “You say that like it's normal for people to jump out of moving vehicles.”

Neil could only shrug again, for him it was normal to jump out of a moving vehicle. Neil wasn't entirely sure how he'd ended up telling Matt that particular story but he wagered it was because the man was so damn nice, so damn personable, that it just made you want to tell him things. If Matt Boyd wasn't the human equivalent of a teddy bear, Neil thought, he may actually be dangerous.

“Have you jumped out of a plane?” Matt asked next, “Please tell me you've jumped out of a plane.”

Neil awkwardly squirmed in his chair, “I've never been on a plane before.”

“Oh,” Matt said, “You're not missing much.”

Neil was saved from having to reply by the ringing of his cell phone. He pulled it out of his pocket and answered it before even looking to see who it was. There was only a hand full of people who had his number and only one who ever actually called him.

“Andrew,” Neil said into the phone, “How did everything go?”

“Fine,” Andrew said, “I'm out front.”

“Oh,” Neil said with a small smile, “I'll meet you in a second.”

“Bring Boyd,” Andrew said just before the line went dead.

“That Doe?” Matt leaned over, “Where's he at?”

“Out front,” Neil said, “Let's go.”

Matt stood from the chair and smoothed his clothes out, “Why didn't he just come inside?”

“I don't know,” Neil shrugged, “Why are you asking me?”

Matt laughed again, “Cuz if anyone would know about why Doe did something it would be you.”

Neil brushed off the comment and the implications behind it. Abby was sitting at the table reading something as they walked by. Neil mumbled a small thanks to her and she yelled after him about following up for their appointment. Neil didn't bother replying, he knew he would see her again...even if Andrew had to drag him there by force.

Andrew was leaning against his car when Neil found him. Neil felt himself smile just at the sight of him. Andrew had changed from the clothes he was wearing in the apartment and he was currently in a pair of dark jeans and a black v-neck shirt. Neil tried not to notice the way the shirt dipped to reveal the beginnings of Andrew's chest, that it showed off more of his neck then Neil had ever seen, or that the beginning of Andrew's tattoo on his shoulder could be seen just below the edge of the fabric. They were all things Neil wanted to kiss and it was distracting to say the least.

Andrew met his smile with a raised eyebrow and he crossed his arms while shaking his head as Neil and Matt got closer.

“You kept him in one piece,” Andrew said, “Guess I don't have to kill you.”

Neil laughed, “Which one of us are you talking to.”

Andrew shrugged and opened the passengers side door for Neil, “I'll let you figure it out.”

Neil rolled his eyes as he lowered himself into the car. Andrew leaned against the door as he spoke to Matt.

“Reynolds should have texted you the location for where we're meeting,” Andrew said, “Either keep up when you follow me or find your own way there.”

“Always lovely talking to you, Doe!” Matt smiled.

Matt opened his mouth to say more but his words were cut off from Neil's ears by Andrew closing the car door. Andrew wasn't paying much attention to Matt either as Neil's eyes followed Andrew as he walked around the front of the car and got into the drivers side while Matt was still talking.

Andrew turned the car on, backed out of the driveway, and pulled into the road and Neil was pretty sure that Matt was still standing in the driveway talking to thin air. The image made him laugh as he bundled himself into the seat and looked up at Andrew.

“Poor Matt,” Neil laughed.

“Made a new friend, huh?” Andrew said as he kept his eyes on the road.

“Jealous?” Neil joked.

“Hardly,” Andrew rolled his eyes.

“Don't worry,” Neil grinned, “I'm not going to start making out with him too.”

“Don't let him know,” Andrew said, “I think he was hoping for it.”

“What?” Neil blushed, “Shut up, asshole.”

Andrew's eyes briefly flicked from the road to Neil's face, “Not my fault you're oblivious to everything around you.”

“Am not,” Neil grumbled.

“Keep telling yourself that,” Andrew shook his head as he made the next left turn.

The two sat in silence for a few more minutes until Neil spoke again.

“Hey,” Neil said, “Abby said my nose is probably gonna be crooked now or something.”

Andrew nodded and seemed to consider what Neil said for a few moments, “That's a shame, I only liked you for your nose.”

“You're such a dick,” Neil glared at Andrew for a moment, only growing slightly annoyed that Andrew wasn't even paying attention to him, Neil's face softened before he spoke again, “How's Nicky really doing?”

Andrew let out a low sigh, “He's with Erik, best person for him to be with right now. God knows I couldn't micromanage his breakdown.”

Andrew's less than kind words were betrayed by the way his grip tightened on the wheel. Neil knew him well enough by now that out of the two of them, Andrew cared the most about Nicky's well being.

“He told me to tell you he'll text you later,” Andrew said as his hands relaxed, “So you have that to look forward to.”

Neil smiled softly, something told him he wouldn't mind having a conversation with Nicky after what he'd done for him.

“He's not like us,” Neil said, “I'm worried about him.”

Andrew's lower lip twitched, it was almost unnoticeable, “He'll survive. It's part of the job, he knew he may have to do it some day.”

“Andrew,” Neil sighed, “How do I have more empathy for this situation? I've killed like...20 people since we've known each other.”

“Those weird bald fucks don't count as people,” Andrew scoffed, “I'm not lacking empathy, I know he's broken up about this but...”

Andrew trailed off and Neil waited a few moments to see if he would continue. When Andrew stayed silent Neil decided to finish his thought, “But you would have done the same thing and you wouldn't have thought twice about it.”

Andrew's hands tightened on the wheel again as he guided it through traffic, “Like you said, he's not like us.”

Neil chewed on his bottom lip, turning in his seat so he was no longer facing Andrew, “I'm sorry.”

“Jesus,” Andrew sighed, “What the fuck are saying sorry for?”

“Everything?” Neil shrugged, “Nicky, the apartment being fucking destroyed, just...all of it. We wouldn't have been there if I didn't make you go back, that asshole wouldn't have found us and hurt you, fucked up the apartment, and Nicky wouldn't have had to kill him.”

Andrew's right hand shot off of the steering wheel and tangled itself in Neil's hair. Neil laughed, more out of surprise than finding the situation funny, and Andrew used his grip to turn Neil's head towards him.

“I'm only going to say this once,” Andrew said, “Don't apologize for shit you can't control. It wasn't your fault that asshole was there, it's not your fault that the apartment is trashed, and it's not your fault that Nicky had to kill him. All of that responsibility rests as the feet of these assholes who are behind everything.”

Neil couldn't do more than blink, Andrew's hand was still twisted in his hair and the words left him nearly speechless, “Andrew...I'm-”

Andrew cut him off, “Neil, I swear if you say 'I'm sorry' one more time I'm never going to kiss you again.”

Neil barked out a laugh, “If you're going to threaten me with something at least make it believable.”

Even from the few kisses they'd shared Neil had a sneaking suspicion that it was a threat that even Andrew wouldn't be able to follow through on. Andrew released his hold, lightly pushing Neil's head away and Neil laughed at him again.

“Do you know where we're going?” Neil asked as soon as his laughing fit subsided.

“I'm just following the directions that Reynolds gave me, we should be there in a minute.” Andrew said, nodding his head towards the horizon.

Neil was silent for the rest of the ride as he watched the scenery become more dated. Neil realized that they'd entered a historic district and couldn't help but wonder why Allison had them meeting all the way out here. Neil's questions were answered as soon as Andrew turned the next corner.

Sitting directly in front of their car, slightly off of the street, was an old hotel. The building was massive with a two pronged layout. There was a large archway that looked like it led to an internal court yard and Neil could make out a stone fountain in the center. Just behind the foundation were two large ornate doors made of iron and frosted glass.

Andrew pulled the car in slowly, coming to a stop and putting the car into park next to the sign that bared the name of the hotel, Fox Tower.

 

<O>

 

Andrew couldn't help but feel a little bit of warmth in his chest as he watched Neil look up at Fox Tower with wonder in his eyes. As soon as Andrew had walked around the car and opened Neil's door the idiot almost bounced out of the car to rush forward into the courtyard of the hotel. Andrew didn't know what exactly it was about the old building that had Neil so fascinated but he'd be lying if he said he didn't want to know.

Andrew locked the car and followed after Neil. When Andrew found Neil again Neil was perched on the edge of the stone fountain and running his fingers through the water. The fountain was ornate and old looking, a woman was carved out of stone and stood in the center of the ring of water holding two vases in either hand that poured water down into the pool below. Neil looked up at the statue for a few minutes and Andrew had to suppress every urge in his body that wanted to push Neil forward and into the water, if only to see the look on his face.

The large door to the hotel swung open with a loud groan and Neil's head instantly shot towards it. Andrew didn't miss how Neil's shoulders tensed as he slipped the knife out of the sleeve of his shirt. Andrew made a silent note to ask Neil where he kept that thing at all times before he walked up behind Neil and placed a hand on the center of his back between his shoulder blades. Neil's body relaxed into the touch slightly, only losing all tension when he realized that it was Reynolds who had stepped into the courtyard.

“Nice of you to finally join us,” Reynolds said as she swept her hand across the open area, “Like it?”

“It's nice,” Andrew droned, “Very subtle.”

Reynolds rolled her eyes and walked towards them, “I didn't have much time to think seeing as how this whole meeting of the super friends was so last minute.”

“How do you even find a place like this last minute?” Neil asked.

Reynolds took a seat next to him and began to absentmindedly trail her fingers through the water alongside him, Andrew wanted to push her in the fountain even more than Neil.

“My parents bought it a while ago,” Reynolds said, “They bought it off of an auction using one of their shell companies. They had plans to revitalize it and reopen it but as things with them usually go they got tired of the project before it even began so it's sat here for the last year.”

“Does it have power?” Andrew asked.

“Yep,” Reynolds nodded, “My parents have been paying the utilities on it for a year without even realizing.”

“This is place is awesome,” Neil grinned.

“You haven't even seen the inside yet, kid,” Reynolds smiled and looped her arm through his.

Andrew tensed and waited for Neil to roundhouse kick Reynolds or something and was almost more shocked when he laughed and went along with her. Andrew blinked a few times as he watched the two disappear behind the fountain and he wrinkled his brow. Something about this place made Neil feel comfortable and Andrew couldn't wait to get him alone to figure out what it was about the old and dusty building that seemed to cause him to take down all his walls.

“Andrew!” Neil yelled from the entryway, “You have to come see this!”

Andrew shook his head and shoved his hands in his pocket as he walked across the courtyard to meet Neil and Reynolds.

“Who else is here?” Andrew asked.

“Walker is inside,” Reynolds flicked her head towards the door, “She's setting up some white boards or something, I don't know.”

“Walker?” Neil questioned.

“My partner,” Reynolds said, “Renee Walker. You'll meet her soon enough.”

“What about Wymack?” Andrew asked.

“He said he was going to be a few minutes late, he had to make a stop somewhere first.” Reynolds shrugged, “I just talked to Boyd a few minutes ago and he said he was making a trip to grab Wilds and then he'd meet us here.”

“Good,” Andrew said, “The alone time gives us a chance to talk.”

“Great,” Reynolds rolled her eyes, “I was waiting for you to bust out the monster interrogation tactics.”

“Monster?” Neil echoed, “What the hell do you mean by that?”

Neil dropped Reynolds arms and immediately went on the defensive. Andrew put a hand on the back on Neil's neck to settle him down.

“It's a nickname, don't worry about it.” Andrew waved his hand.

“A few people in the field office gave it to him after he went a bit overboard during an interrogation,” Reynolds offered, unprompted, “The guy walked out of the room with a broken hand and two missing teeth. The cameras _mysteriously_ stopped working but Day and Hemmick vouched for him so it was the word of three FBI agents against a suspected domestic terrorist.”

Neil nodded, almost as if he was impressed by the implications of the nickname. Andrew ignored it and pushed him forward into the building.

Andrew had to admit that the interior of the hotel was impressive. Even if he wasn't prompted in that direction by Neil's look of wonder he would have been able to draw his own conclusions to the fact. The doors opened to a landing that was covered in plush, red velvet carpet. The landing led to a few steps that lowered them into the large and spacious lobby. Neil took off for the gigantic couch that sat directly in the center of the lobby, it was round and probably large enough to fit the whole team if Andrew had cared to sit with them. Neil flopped down on the couch, laying on his back and looking up at the vaulted ceilings of the room. Thee old chandeliers were stung across the length of the lobby and provided light from behind old stained glass panes. Off of the side of the couch sat the front desk of the hotel, there were various boxes and papers scattered across the length of the desk that Andrew recognized as old case files. The front desk led to the back office that Andrew didn't bother checking in on. The left of the desk gave way to a grand staircase that split about halfway up, one side of the stairs curving to the left and the other to the right. The sconces that lined the walls of the lobby give a warm amber feeling to the room. The place looked like the set out of an old movie and Andrew couldn't help but look at the place with almost the same fascination that Neil did.

“This place is amazing,” Neil whispered as Andrew sat down next to him on the round couch, “I never thought I'd see something like this in real life.”

Andrew was about to ask Neil what he meant by that when the door to the back office opened and Walker stepped out wheeling a large white board out into the lobby.

“Oh,” Walker said as she saw him, “You're here.”

“Present and accounted for,” Andrew said as he gave her a two finger salute.

Walker abandoned the board and walked over to where Andrew and Neil were sitting. She was in stark contrast to Reynolds. Where Reynolds wore a form fitting pencil skirt, heels, and a delicately tailored top, Walker was dressed in a light blue slacks, boots, and a white pin striped shirt that was buttoned completely save for the last one which left just enough room for her silver cross to show pressed against the hollow of her throat.

Walker crouched in front of them and smiled at Neil, “Hello, you must be Neil. I'm Renee Walker, I'm glad to finally meet you.”

Neil sat up and Andrew could feel his body stiffen as Walker spoke to him. Andrew had enough practice in reading Neil to know he was uncomfortable. Neil's shoulders were drawn back, his hand was in his pocket and resting on the knife he carried with him, and his eyes were darting around Walkers shoulders in an effort to find the nearest exit. Andrew was actually puzzled on this one. Neil hadn't even had this kind of reaction to Wymack and he was the more outwardly threatening one of the two. Then again, Andrew thought, Neil didn't get as far as he had in life by just taking in who a person was at face value. Andrew figured Neil must be able to sense the quiet storm of Renee Walker. Andrew had seen it in action, he'd seen how Renee took down a group of four attackers in the field one night without so much as breaking a sweat.

Andrew nudged Neil's leg with his own, “Be nice, say hello.”

“Hi,” Neil said as he looked everywhere but at Walker.

“If you'll excuse me,” Walker said, obviously having sensed Neil's discomfort, “I should get back to setting all of this up before Wymack gets here, I know he's not going to want to waste any time. It was nice to finally meet you, if we have time later I would love to get to know you better but I understand if the circumstances don't allow it.”

Neil turned his attention away from Walker almost immediately and Andrew looked up at her as she walked away, she gave him a knowing smile and a nod before she turned back to setting up everything for the rest of the teams arrival.

As soon as Renee was out of ear shit Neil turned to Andrew, “She's...”

Andrew narrowed his eyes as Neil's words trailed off, “She's what? Be nice to Walker, she's a sweetheart.”

“Never mind,” Neil said, “It's not important,”

Before Andrew could reply Neil evidently decided that he'd had enough of the conversation and closed his eyes and let his body fall back onto the couch. Andrew toyed with the idea of dragging Neil outside and making him finish what he was going to say but Andrew realized a few minutes later that Neil had fallen asleep. Andrew rolled his eyes at the inconvenience laying next to him and settled himself back into the couch to make sure no one bothered Neil. Once the rest of the team arrived and they put together a plan neither of them would have much time for sleep.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, i'm going to take a break from updating next week to give myself plenty of time to write and perfect some stuff for this story without having to rush to meet a deadline since i'm more or less caught up on everything i'd already written when i started the two time a week update schedule. i know the ending to this chapter is awkward and blunt but it was a struggle to even get an ending i was remotely happy with and at least it's not a terrible cliffhanger lol 
> 
> also, ayy fox tower! it's loosely based on the hyperion hotel from angel so if anyone is curious to know what i envision the inside to really look like you can just google that and see!
> 
> as always, i appreciate any comments, kudos, ect i about died when i saw this hit 300 comments and i can't say enough about how much it means to me that people are actually enjoying this that much!
> 
> see you guys on 5/17!


	25. That Old Gang Of Mine

 

 

 

 

XXV

That Old Gang Of Mine

 

NEIL woke up without ever realizing he'd fallen asleep. His eyes blinked away and he found himself looking up at the old and ornate chandeliers of Fox Tower. Neil lifted his head slightly and found Andrew sitting next to him with his eyes closed and his chest lightly rising and falling. Neil could hear the sound of voices coming from somewhere close by and it sounded like more people had arrived while he was asleep.

“Andrew?” Neil yawned, “Are you asleep?”

“No,” Andrew's eyes slowly opened, “I'm trying to block out the sound of Boyd's voice.”

Neil stretched his body out as he sat up on the couch, “Matt is here?”

Andrew nodded, “He and Wilds just got here a few minutes ago. Wymack is right behind them.”

“How long was I out?” Neil asked.

Andrew looked down at his phone, probably checking the time, “About half an hour.”

“Oh,” Neil rubbed the back of his head, “I feel like I slept for days.”

“Figured I'd let you get some rest, once Wymack gets here things are going to get pretty crazy.”

Neil laughed and leaned against Andrew, “Do you doubt my plan?”

“Your plan is stupid, reckless, and dangerous,” Andrew shook his head, “Just like you. It's more likely to get us killed than it is to help us.”

Neil shrugged, “I don't see you offering any better ideas.”

Andrew rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to reply but was cut off by the sound of the door opening. Neil looked up and saw Wymack enter and look around the room with something resembling amusement. Wymack held the door open and someone else followed in after him. Neil couldn't tell much from the distance, all he could make out was that the other man was tall and blonde.

“Who's that?” Neil asked.

Andrew sighed, “You've got to be shitting me.”

Andrew stood up from the couch and walked across the room to meet them, “You really brought in another stray?”

“Nice to see you too, Doe,” The man said.

“What is Knox doing here?” Andrew turned to Wymack and folded his arms over his chest.

“Calm the hell down,” Wymack waved him away, “Knox saw some shit too when that french guy knocked him out, he called me when he got word that you were alive and I thought it would be best to bring him in on this whole thing. We could use the numbers.”

“I've gotta say,” Knox shook his head, “I didn't believe anything I saw until I talked to Wymack, I thought it had to be some side effect of the blow to my head because there's no way I saw some guy stand in front of me, change his face so he looked like me, and then stuff me in a trunk.”

Andrew ignored Knox and continued in on Wymack, “Nice to know that you go around throwing people's secrets out like fucking candy.”

“Again,” Wymack sighed, “I didn't tell him anything about Neil. Calm the fuck down, Neil can decided what he wants to say or not.”

Neil walked over to the group at the mention of his name, “Neil is standing right here.”

“Neil,” Wymack nodded, “This is Special Agent Jeremy Knox, he was with Andrew down in San Diego.”

Neil turned his head and finally looked at Jeremy Knox in full. The first thing he noticed were his eyes, those impossibly blue eyes that reminded him of the boy he'd met outside if that convenience store all those years ago. A smile stretched across Jeremy's face and he held out a hand.

“Hi, Neil,” Jeremy said, “Wymack's only told me a little about you, just that you're Doe's informant.”

“Yeah,” Neil said, awkwardly avoiding Jeremy's hand and stuffing his own into his pockets, “It's, uh, nice to meet you.”

Neil looked at Jeremy's hand before he dropped it and then went back to looking around the lobby of the hotel. In the span of his short nap it had been set up as sort of a command room. The large boards that Renee was wheeling around had been set up on the far side of the lobby and Neil could see photos and documents taped to them with red marker drawing lines between the photos to note the connections. Neil could just make out the photo of Mary from across the room and figured that the first board was dedicated solely to the victims of the butcher. He wondered if there was a picture of Kevin on the board, if only so he could see if his theory was correct.

There were two tables set up in front of the boards with just enough seats for all of them. Each seat had a file folder in front of it and Neil assumed it contained all relevant documents from the investigation Andrew and the rest of his team had conducted over the years.

Standing in front of one of the tables was a woman that Neil didn't recognize. She was average height, still taller than both himself and Andrew, but Neil could see the muscle beneath her outfit and figured it must be Dan Wilds from the stories that Matt told him about her. With one look Neil could instantly see how this woman could beat nearly all of the men in the Los Angels Field Office in an arm wrestling tournament. She turned and smiled when they caught each others eyes. Neil braced himself as she walked over to where he was standing in a cluster with Andrew, Wymack, and Jeremy.

“Hi,” Dan smiled, “You must be Neil. I just got here a few minutes ago but didn't want to wake you. Well, Doe wouldn't let me wake you and I felt like keeping all my fingers today.”

“Hi,” Neil smiled, forcing it even when all he wanted to do was find a dark room to relax and be by himself in, “Matt told me a lot about you earlier.”

Dan rolled her eyes, “Don't believe everything he says, he tends to hype people up like crazy.”

Neil gave her a forced smile again, “He's nice, everything he said about you was nice too.”

Dan smiled and put her hand on his shoulder but jerked it back to her body when Neil flinched a little more violently than he intended to. Neil felt all eyes on him as Dan looked down at him something between confusion and worry in her eyes.

“Sorry,” Dan said softly, “I didn't-”

When Dan stopped speaking Neil felt the presence of Andrew directly behind him and it took all Neil had not to step backwards and lean into him.

“OK?” Andrew asked.

Neil bit his lip, he wanted everything to be OK, but it wasn't. He was still hazy from sleep and didn't feel like he was 100% himself. His arms were hurting, his nose ached, and the burn on his face was steadily throbbing to a painful rhythm, and all of that coupled with the rush of meeting so many new people who all knew who he was just made Neil feel like he wanted to crawl out of his skin. Neil felt defeated. He thought that his time with Andrew had helped him some, that the time he'd spent with Nicky and Aaron helped him with his aversion to new people but here he was overwhelmed. He was fine with Allison and Matt, he could identify with both of them in different ways. But everyone else? Neil couldn't take it. He couldn't take Renee's unsettling eyes from across the room giving off concern that was so desperately trying to hide darkness. He couldn't take Dan's soft smile and her firm touch. He couldn't take Jeremy's eyes and bright personality. He couldn't stop looking at the picture of Mary on the far side of the room, watching him do nearly everything she told him not to, judging him. Neil silently wished she was there, maybe then she could have beat some sense into him.

“Breathe,” Andrew's rough voice said, snapping Neil out of his own mind, “Dammit, idiot. Breathe.”

Neil looked up and found Andrew crouched in front of him. He was on the floor? When did that happen? He wasn't breathing? Neil didn't remember anything from the last few minutes but he was now keenly aware of the light headed feeling that was working it's way across his body.

Andrew fisted his hand into Neil's shirt, twisting it and pulling him in closer, “ _Breathe_.”

Neil gasped for air, furiously trying to get oxygen into his deprived lungs. Everything hit him at once like he'd just ran full speed into a wall. Neil looked up and found himself and Andrew in the center of a circle of FBI agents who were all looking down on him with various expressions on their faces. Neil closed his eyes, he didn't want to see any of them right now. He was on his feet in an instant, pushing his way through the small crowed of people and leaving Andrew sitting on the floor behind him. He needed to get away, he needed to be alone. Just for a minute.

Neil didn't have a plan on where he was going but his eyes caught the winding staircase in front of him and he took off towards it. Neil took the steps two at a time, climbing higher and higher until he reached a large red door and pushed through it. He found himself in a long hallway with gold walls and more of the red carpet from the lobby. Neil slowed himself to a walk as he made his way down the hallway, stopping at the far end and falling to the ground, rolling onto his side and tucking himself into the tightest ball that he could. It was quiet and he was alone, it was all he could ask for at the moment.

 

<O>

 

“WHAT just happened?” Wilds' brow wrinkled in confusion as she stared at the vacant spot left by Neil.

Andrew shook his head and glared at Wilds, “He doesn't like to be touched by people, particularly one's he's just met and hasn't had to chance to form an opinion on.”

“This is my fault,” Boyd sighed, “I told him I'd figure out a way to make sure the introductions didn't happen in a huge group of people but by the time I got here he was asleep and I got so wrapped up in everything that I completely forgot.”

“Good going, Boyd,” Reynolds rolled her eyes, “You had one job.”

Boyd looked legitimately wounded, as if he could have stopped Wilds and her insatiable need to mother people and smother them with affection. If anyone should feel guilty it should be Andrew, he was too wrapped up in his shock at Knox appearing with Wymack to pay attention to the rest of them team when he normally would have intercepted Wilds before she could have touched Neil.

Maybe, Andrew thought, he was using Neil's abilities as a crutch for having to pay more attention to him. He'd been operating under the assumption that Neil would be able to see any awkward situation and take care of himself. But it seemed that even though Neil claimed that his visions were back to something similar to what they used to be that Neil hadn't been relying on them as much as Andrew thought. Neil seemed to have just adjusted to the loss of the way they operated before he had met Andrew and from what Andrew was able to make out, the way that they operated now was still different than before.

“Should someone go after him?” Knox asked from somewhere off to the side of the group.

It seemed as if every eye in the room was on Andrew and he let out a sigh, “Fine, he should have had enough time to calm down by now. How many floors have power?”

Reynolds shrugged, “At least the first five, I haven't gone anywhere above that. All of the room doors are locked though.”

Andrew rolled his eyes, “As if that would stop him.”

Andrew waved them all away as he made a line for the stairs, climbing them slowly and pushing his way through the last door that he saw Neil go through.

 

<O>

 

NEIL sat slumped against the door of room 428 for what felt like an eternity. He didn't entirely remember making his was from the lobby, up four flights of stairs, and halfway down a hallway but he knew that he'd been by himself for a while now. Neil was only vaguely aware of the presence of another person but he couldn't bring himself to look up and see who was in front of him. Neil couldn't even be bothered to force himself into a vision to see who was approaching.

“Hey,” A familiar voice came from above him as a familiar black boot tapped the edge of Neil's foot, “move over.”

Neil huffed, “There's plenty of room, Andrew. An entire hallway worth, actually.”

Andrew tapped Neil's foot with his boot again, a little harder this time, “Move.”

Neil sighed and used his hands to raise his body off of the ground and reposition himself a few inches from where he had been sitting and Andrew fell into the vacated space and fit into it seamlessly. Neil was grateful for the quiet that continued even with the new presence of Andrew, Neil's head was still swimming and he was still overwhelmed by the number of people just a few floors below them and the addition of Andrew's shoulder pressed against his own helped quiet the buzzing even more. It was grounding. It was comfortable. It was safe.

Neil eventually took a deep breath and let his head head fall back to rest on the door, “I'm sorry, I thought I would be able to deal with it.”

“Shut up,” Andrew said.

“I-” Neil was cut off by a single finger from Andrew's hand covering his lips.

Neil blinked as Andrew's finger quieted him and slowly Andrew's hand traveled from Neil's mouth to the side of his head with Andrew threading his fingers through Neil's hair and using it as a grip to pull Neil's head down to Andrew's shoulder.

Andrew held Neil's head in place for a few seconds. Neil assumed Andrew was waiting for him to get the hint to keep it there.

Andrew finally withdrew his hand, brushing it over Neil's shoulder before he spoke, “We'll go back down when you're ready.”

“But we don't have time to waste-”

“Neil, shut the fuck up.”

Neil smiled and closed his eyes, nuzzling himself deeper into Andrew's shoulder. It was exactly what he needed to hear.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! This chapter is...not what I intended it to be but I really just needed to be DONE with it. I literally managed to only write this during my entire break so I'm hoping now that this is out of the way the rest of the story will come a bit easier, I'm not entirely sure if there will be an update for Saturday because it all depends on if this writers block lets up on me. If there isn't I'm going to try my hardest to get one up by next Wednesday or maybe a little sooner. As always, I'm overwhelmed by the support of this fic and appreciate everything from comments to kudos because y'all are the best.


	26. Somnambulist

 

 

 

 

XXVI

Somnambulist

 

“YOU do not even know your darkest secret.”

Neil's body was frozen as a shrouded body sat on the floor in front of him. The person who was speaking looked like Andrew, they sounded like Andrew, but they were not Andrew. Neil tried to will his limbs into movement but he was frozen.

The Andrew-like figure stayed in front of him with his legs crossed and he spoke again, “You do not even know your darkest secret.”

Neil opened his mouth to speak but the only sounds that came out were gargled imitations of words. His tongue felt heavy and light at the same time, as if there was a stone where his tongue should be while also feeling like he had no tongue at all.

“Look around,” The Andrew figure said, “what do you see?”

Neil's eyes darted around the room and he tried to take in his surroundings. As best as he could tell he was trapped in a single room with the Andrew figure. The four walls around them were covered in red satin drapes that seemed to sway back and forth, moved by a breeze that wasn't actually present in the room. The floor, at first, appeared to be deep black. The longer Neil looked at the floor the more it seemed to change though and if he concentrated on one spot for too long it began to swirl in on itself and form something like a constellation of glittering stars.

“What you see is the truth,” The Andrew figure said, “And everything you see is a lie.”

Neil opened his mouth and felt a lightness on his tongue again, “Who are you?” The words came out slow, as if Neil was speaking into a machine and having his words played back at half speed.

The Andrew figure said nothing as it stood and began to pace the length of the room. Each footstep echoed through Neil's brain like a gunshot and the floor changed underneath the Andrew figure as it moved, going from black to white at each press of his feet into the floor.

The feeling slowly returned to Neil's limbs and after a few seconds he was able to lift himself from the ground and make his way towards the Andrew figure. The Andrew figure paused as it heard Neil's advances and Neil crossed the room quickly to try and reach it.

The Andrew figure had it's back to Neil and Neil reached out to grab it by the shoulders. Neil spun it's body to face him and recoiled when he took in the sight of the eyes of the Andrew figure. The color was gone from them completely and what was left was pure white. Suddenly, The Andrew figure had it's hands on Neil's shoulders and it opened it's mouth and let out an ear shattering scream. The Andrew figure shook Neil violently before pushing Neil away and sending him tumbling towards the ground.

Neil braced himself as he rolled across the floor and came to a stop. The Andrew figure was still in the middle of the room screaming and just as Neil was about to push himself back up to his feet the screaming stopped. In the blink of an eye the Andrew figure moved from it's place across the room and was in front of Neil's face. It's eyes were still stark white and there was a smile across it's face.

“Time to wake up,” The Andrew figure whispered, “You'll see me soon but it will not be before this is all over.”

 

<O>

 

NEIL woke with a jolt with his hands scrambling to find something to hold on to. His hands found their way to the sheets of the bed he was in and he curled them into his fists, his knuckles going white as his eyes adjusted to the darkness of the room. It took Neil a few seconds to get his bearings but his gaze quickly fell to Andrew who was curled up and asleep on the couch across the room from him.

Neil unclenched his fists from the sheets and ran a now trembling hand through his hair as he tried to remember how he ended up in the bed in the first place. The memory came back to him slowly as the panic from his sudden awakening bled out of his system. Neil could remember sitting in the hallway with his head resting on Andrew for what felt like an eternity before Andrew finally moved. Neil remembered Andrew making him stand up before pulling a knife out of his pocket and using it to open the door of the hotel room they had been leaning against. Neil remembered Andrew leading him to the bed, covering him with the sheets and telling him to sleep. Neil remembered his protests and worries about the team being downstairs and upset with him but Andrew silenced him and told Neil to sleep and that he would take care of the team.

That was as far as Neil's memory went so he had to assume that he'd quickly fallen asleep while Andrew went to take care of business downstairs. Neil slowly rolled his body over on the bed and found his phone that had been discarded to the side, clicking it on he saw the time. It was just after three in the morning and Neil realized that he'd been asleep for somewhere around 12 hours.

Neil slowly made his way out of the bed, moving as quietly as he possibly could so as to not disturb the still sleeping Andrew. Neil figured Andrew was likely even more tired than he was and he didn't want to risk rousing him from his sleep. Neil slowly stretched out his limbs, wincing and letting out a quiet hiss as his joints popped into place and he felt all the injuries from the last few days at once. Neil was still for a few minutes as he settled himself back into his body, fighting back against the pain before softly padding across the room and to the door.

Neil opened the door as quietly as he could and let himself out into the hallway, closing the door behind himself and making his way towards the stairs. He followed the path back down to the lobby off of muscle memory instead of trying to fumble his way through the dark and aside from a few missed steps in the dark stairwell he found himself alone in the plush lobby of Fox Tower a few minutes later.

The lobby was still set up as a makeshift command center, the white boards lined against the walls and folding tables set up to house files and various laptop computers. Neil took a few moments to come to a decision before he ultimately decided to make his way to the line of whiteboards. He trailed his hand across the banister of the stairs as he made his way down the winding staircase and shivered as the plush carpet gave way to the cold marble floor.

Neil's approach to the whiteboards felt like he was moving in slow motion. It wasn't too different from the dream, or rather, nightmare, that he'd just woken up from. It felt so similar that he wasn't entirely sure that he wasn't still dreaming; that he wasn't still asleep upstairs with Andrew tucked into a ball on the couch a few feet away from him.

Dream or not, Neil found the first whiteboard and began to examine it. The large windows let in enough moonlight that the boards were completely visible and Neil could make out everything on them. He read the details over every victim on the butcher and committed every name and state of the body to his memory. Neil purposely avoided the photo of Mary but he couldn't escape the feeling of her eyes on his back and it reminded him on the cartoon she would sometimes let him watch when they were staying in a seedy motel that actually had cable that worked. He didn't need to ready anymore about the doctor, he's already poured through her file and seen the pictures of her burned and mutilated body. The images were forever etched into his brain and Neil didn't feel like he needed a refresher and in a slight fit of anger Neil turned to her section of the board and ripped the photos down, pulling at them and shredding them into pieces in his shaking hands.

Neil didn't stop ripping the photo apart until he heard the sound of footsteps echoing through the room. They were coming from behind him so he let the pieces of the photos drop to the floor and watched as they flitted their way to the ground like some kind of macabre snowflakes.

“Andrew,” Neil whispered.

“Sleep well?” Andrew's voice came from behind him, getting closer as he spoke.

Neil shrugged and turned around, “No.”

Andrew hummed and looked genuinely surprised at Neil's honesty, “You should have woken me when you got up.”

Neil could read between the lines on that one, he'd spent enough time around Andrew to know that what he meant to say was _I didn't know where you were when I woke up and you were gone_.

“You need to sleep too,” Neil said, “you've had less than me in the last few days.”

Andrew stepped closer and fell into a beam of moonlight that lit him from behind and enveloped him in a soft aura, “It's not your job to worry about my sleeping habits.”

Neil bridged the distance between them but stopped just short of their bodies touching, “It's not my job to worry about a lot of things but I still do.”

“I told you to stop worrying about things,” Andrew said, his voice low and rough.

Neil sighed and let his head fall backwards. He wasn't awake enough to have this conversation again.

“Next time,” Neil said after a few minutes of silence, “sleep in the bed with me?”

Andrew's breath hitched, “You were in no state to share a bed with someone.”

Neil laughed at the obvious deflection, “I said next time.”

Andrew let out a puff of air and Neil wrinkled his nose as it blew across his face. Andrew rolled his eyes and stepped around Neil and made his way to the circular sofa and dropped down onto it, spreading his legs out as he shuffled down into it. Neil sighed and took the move for what it was – an end to the conversation.

Neil left Andrew on the couch to sit in his own thoughts and made his way back to the line of white boards. He kicked through the shredded piles of photos as he walked and scattered them across the floor as his eyes searched for the final missing piece of the puzzle in his brain. It was something he'd been avoiding ever since he'd through of it earlier but in the eerie comfort of the darkness Neil finally decided to let the moment happen.

Neil scanned the final board and inhaled sharply as he read the final name that was written. Kevin Day. There was a single photo of Kevin stuck above his name, he was smiling slightly and Neil took a step backwards when he made contact with the piercing green eyes of the photo. They were eyes that Neil would never forget, they were the eyes that looked down on him before a finger was pressed to his head and Neil felt like he was being torn apart from the inside out.

Kevin Day was Andrew's partner and Kevin Day was working with Riko.

 

<O>

 

ANDREW sat on the couch and watched Neil as he moved across the room. He put all thoughts about being in the same bed as Neil out of his mind while he tracked Neil through the darkness and watched as he trailed his fingers across the boards that were set up by Renee and the rest of the team earlier in the day after Andrew had come back downstairs to let them know that Neil would be out of commission until the following morning.

Andrew didn't miss the way Neil's shoulders went tense, it was a move he'd trained himself to look out for and it was perfectly visible even in the dimly lit room.

Andrew was on his feet in a second and swiftly crossed the room and fell into the open space beside Neil. Andrew's eyes went wide when he saw that Neil was focused on the photo of Kevin.

“Andrew,” Neil whispered.

“What?” Andrew said, he clenched his fist and even he could hear the edge in his own voice.

“Jean wasn't lying,” Neil turned his head slowly as he tore his eyes away from the photo of Kevin and didn't speak again until he was locked into a stare with Andrew, “Kevin was...Kevin was the one I told you about. Kevin was the one who took the visions from me before.”

Andrew's stomach dropped. It was the one thing he didn't want to be true. Andrew had held onto the idea that he'd somehow failed Kevin, that he was the direct cause of Kevin's death for so long that the idea of Kevin being alive and Kevin being someone that was sent to mislead his own investigation was threatening to make him sick.

“Tell me everything,” Andrew said.

Neil flinched away, “I've told you everything. I only met him once but his eyes...I'd never forget his eyes. I knew the one that was in the room that day was someone who was close to the kin-Riko. I didn't know before I met you, I promise. I...you have to believe me, Andrew.”

Neil looked absolutely pained and like he had one foot out of the door while both of his hands were desperately trying to cling to Andrew and everything that Andrew represented to him.

“Stop,” Andrew whispered, “Kevin has nothing to do with you and you had no way of knowing.”

Andrew's head was a maelstrom of emotions. Hurt. Betrayal. Anger. Sadness. But none of it was directed at Neil. Neil was the only thing keeping him tethered to the present and stopping him from swimming in the dark waters of his own head.

“Will he be there?” Andrew asked.

“Kevin?” Neil said softly as he took a step forward.

“Yes.” Andrew nodded, “Do you think Kevin will be there when we find a way in?”

Neil chewed on his lower lip and though for a second before he spoke, “I...I don't know. It would depend on his relationship with Riko and other factors. We don't know that it's the only place they operate out of but if Jean is there then I think Kevin would be too. Does this mean that you agree with my plan?”

“No,” Andrew shook his head, “your plan is fucking insane and stupid and will probably get us all killed.”

“Then why did you even say any-”

Andrew cut Neil off with a press of his hand to Neil's mouth, “But it's the only plan that we have and it might just be insane enough to work.”

Neil was smiling when Andrew pulled back his hand and Andrew rolled his eyes which only made Neil smile even more, “So we're really going to do it?”

“Yes.” Andrew turned to the last whiteboard that was blank and tore open a pack of dry erase markers and began to write out their plan for the team to study when they woke up in a few hours.

The plan was simple. Andrew and Neil were going to use themselves as bait to draw out Riko's forces which would include Robin Cross. Together, with the help of the team, they were going to kidnap Robin Cross and use her knowledge and abilities to find Evermore Laboratories, break into it, and topple the king and the director. Silently and to only himself, Andrew added one final bullet point to the list in his head: He was going to find Kevin and, depending on the state of him and what he had to say for himself, either kill him or drag him out of that place kicking and screaming.

 

<O>

 

JEAN found himself looking in the mirror for the first time since his failed attack against Andrew Doe and the boy who now went by the name of Neil. Neil had used Jean's real name for the first time in what felt like years and the sound of it still rang foreign in his head. Jean had been number three for so long that he almost forgot he'd ever been anything other than a number.

The thing was, now that he was reminded of his own name he couldn't stop thinking of the names of everyone else. The glowing girl became Robin once again, number two became Kevin, and the king became Riko. Riko had once told him, after hours spent breaking him, that a name was a dangerous thing and that Jean didn't deserve to have one. He'd believed it for so long but something about Neil broke through to him. Jean thought that maybe it was Neil's unflinching bravery and anger even in the face of death, perhaps it was a stubbornness that came from having a name of his own now? Or maybe it came from his connection to the FBI agent, Doe? Whatever it was, Jean thought, it had secretly awoken something inside of him. The embers of rebellion that Jean thought had been smothered long ago.

The price for his failure in his mission to kill Neil and the FBI agent was high. Jean's bones had been broken in ways he never knew bones could break before, then he was healed by another one of Riko's numbers, and then he was broken again. Over and over until the pain became an afterthought. He'd cost Riko and the director many men and a valuable asset, but the pain was worth the potential reward.

Jean could deal with a thousand more broken bones if that meant that Neil and Doe were somehow able to live up to their promises to take down the director and everyone who stood with him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote the first part of this chapter after watching the first new episode of twin peaks so blame it's weirdness and blatant theft of scenery on that. anyway, my writers block seems to be lifting a bit but i don't want to promise another update this week in case i can't deliver but i wanted to put this chapter up a day early because it took me forever to write it and i need to set it free!


	27. The Girl in Question

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy this massive 10k chapter filled with events ive been trying to write into the story for the past month and a half

 

 

XXVII

The Girl In Question

 

NEIL let out a long breath as he finished telling his story to the team. He looked out at the sea of faces and was met with varying reactions. Some, like Allison, barely batted an eye because they were familiar with the world he was speaking about. Renee, on the other hand, was eerily calm as she listened to Neil’s story and didn’t even flinch when he threw in the ‘by the way, I can see the future’ bombshell. Neil added it to his list of growing reasons of why Renee unsettled him. Neil could see something lurking just under the surface of her carefully put together exterior and he wasn’t sure if he should be worried about it or not. Andrew seemed to trust her and she was the only one outside of Nicky that Andrew ever spoke about so Neil tried to hold back his final judgement until he could see more of her in action. Still, he couldn’t help but think that something about Renee was familiar.

“So, let me get this straight,” Dan said with wide eyes, “The Butcher isn’t actually a serial killer?”

“We don’t think so.” Neil said with a shake of his head.

“And you think that the butcher is actually some kind of smokescreen for this group that you said you escaped from years ago?” Dan wasn’t finished, “And the first victim of all of this was technically the woman who took you from the place to begin with?”

Andrew spoke up before Neil could answer, “Did you not hear a single thing he said, Wilds?”

“Shut up, I’m just trying to make sense of all of this,” Dan snapped, “I haven’t even gotten to the whole  _psychic_ thing!”

Neil blew a puff of air upwards and rustled his bangs that had fallen messily over his forehead, “I mean, I don’t know if I’d call myself psychic. I can just see things before they happen.”

Matt laughed, “Neil, my dude. That’s called being psychic.”

“I…just…” Dan trailed off and rubbed the bridge of her nose, “This is just a lot to take in.”

“It’s real, Dan,” Allison spoke up, “It’s real, it’s happening, little Neil over there is a five foot two machine of death and fortune telling and he’s on our side.”

“Five foot three,” Neil mumbled under his breath which prompted a scoff from Andrew. Neil turned back and glared at him and only recovered a lazy shrug in return before Andrew swept his hand forward back towards the rest of the team.

“I know it’s a lot to take in,” Neil said, “and I know that none of you really know me or have any reason to trust me at all. I don’t really blame any of you because I’m not sure I trust anyone here besides Andrew but I know that Andrew trusts you all so that’s enough for me right now.”

“That was…nice? I think?” Allison said with a skeptical look on her face.

“What Neil means to say,” Andrew spoke up from behind Neil, “is that you all need to get over whatever hang ups you have, forget everything you think you know about this fucked up world, and get on board because we have shit to do.”

Wymack sighed from the back of the room, “Remember to remind me to never take a motivational speech class taught by either of you.”

“Listen,” Neil craned his head to find the source of the voice and realized it was Jeremy speaking, “if someone had told me this stuff even a few days ago I would have had them committed but I was recently on the receiving end of a head wound from someone who literally changed their face into mine and I had a few hours locked in a trunk to think about it.”

Neil laughed, “Jean was sloppy. I’m surprised he didn’t kill you after you saw him change.”

“Um…” Jeremy’s eyes went wide.

Andrew leaned down to Neil’s ear and whispered, “We really need to work on how you talk to people.”

Neil elbowed Andrew in the side before walking away.

Renee’s soft voice broke through the crowd of voices in the lobby of the hotel, “Is it really that strange to believe that there are people out there in the world who can do extraordinary things? We’ve seen all kinds of unimaginable things on this job and Allison has had firsthand experience with things like this. If you don’t believe Neil then I think the years we’ve spent working with Allison should extend her some degree of trust.”

The room was silent as Renee finished speaking. All eyes were on her and no one seemed to want to follow her up.

Allison was the one that finally broke the silence, “We can sit around arguing about this all day or we could let Neil do a nice little trick to prove himself to the non-believers and then get on with this whole thing because I would like to get this entire saga wrapped up before I’m 35.”

“Neil’s not some kind of circus animal,” Matt said, “we don’t need to make him jump through hoops to prove things to us. I trust him.”

Neil was about to protest, it didn’t matter to him if they needed to test if he was telling the truth or not. He’d done it for Andrew and then for Wymack so one more demonstration wouldn’t kill him.

“Boyd is right,” Wymack’s voice boomed from the back, “I’ve seen Neil in action and that’s all that matters. You’re my team and if I tell you to trust him then you’re going to trust him. Neil has saved the lives of multiple federal agents in the last few months and while I have a bit of a problem with how he goes about doing that there is no reason for us to not trust him. We’re a team and Neil is a part of it for the foreseeable future.”

Dan stood as soon as Wymack finished speaking and crossed the room, coming to a stop in front of Neil. She held out her hand, “Wymack in right, it’s a lot to take in but there’s no reason that we shouldn’t trust you. Welcome to the team, Neil.”

Neil looked down at Dan’s outstretched hand in confusion before slowly realizing that she was waiting for him to shake it. Neil reached out and took her hand, shaking it for only a second before breaking apart as Dan gave him one final smile.

“Great,” Andrew said, “We’re all one big happy family. Now, can we get to the topic that everyone seemed to be ignoring?”

The room one again fell into silence and no one seemed to be able to look in the direction of Andrew.

“Kevin.” Wymack said.

“Yes,” Andrew took a deep breath, “I’ve spent the better part of half a year making myself sick thinking of all the ways that what happened to Kevin was my fault and come to find out it was all a fucking act. He used us all to fuck with our investigation.”

Allison ran a hand through her long hair, “My question is: how the fuck did none of us realize? Especially you, Doe? You were his partner.”

“This isn’t on just him, Allison.” Renee said, “Kevin worked with all of us, we all worked closely together and none of us realized. Kevin played us all.”

“So, what do we do?” Matt said, “What’s our goal? Our end game? I know Neil wants to take down this whole organization but we’re just a team of eight people.”

“Apparently these two have a plan,” Wymack said, flicking his finger between Neil and Andrew, “let’s hear them out.”

“Correction,” Andrew shook his head, “Neil has a plan and it’s insane. I’m not attaching my name to any part of it.”

Neil huffed, “That’s not what you said last night.”

Matt choked on his coffee from across the room, coughing as he spoke, “Did he just…”

“What?” Neil asked, confused, “Andrew?”

Andrew shook his head and sighed, “Ignore it and tell them your plan.”

“No, no!” Allison said, “I’d like to talk about what Neil just said! Please!”

Renee flicked Allison on the shoulder to shut her up, “Neil, I’d like to hear your plan.”

Neil averted his eyes from Renee’s smile and turned back to the board. He pulled out a marker and circled a name on the board, “The key to this all is Robin Cross.”

“Who is she?” Jeremy asked.

“A little over a decade ago she was just a little girl on a playground. Her mother had taken her there in the early evening to play while she met with some friends nearby. Robin went missing that evening in the middle of a blackout.” Neil said, “The official story was that she was kidnapped by someone who took advantage of the sudden blackout, especially since there was a string of kidnapping in the area around where she was taken.”

“And the unofficial story?” Renee cocked her head to the side.

“It’s connected to the attacks on FBI agents by that group over the last few years, including the one on me.” Andrew said.

“Side note,” Allison said, “I think I speak for everyone when I say that calling them The Unkindness is fucking terrible. I vote we change it to something that sounds less like a terrible comic book name.”

“The Ravens!” Matt said with almost too much excitement.

“Call them whatever you want, I really don’t give a shit,” Andrew shook his head, “Anyway. There’s a trend that when these attacks occur the area around them loses all power in a half mile radius.”

“We did some digging last night after we woke up,” Neil ignored the questioning glances again and tuned out Andrew’s soft sigh, “and the night that Robin Cross disappeared the area around the park lost power in an exact half mile radius.”

“So, you’re saying that this Robin girl can somehow…control electricity?” Wymack asked.

"I mean, I don’t know exactly what she does but she does _something_ to it and she always seems to disappear once she does it. Andrew saw it in person.”

Andrew took over again, “When it happened she started to glow, and then sparked. Everything flashed a second later and all the power was out and she was completely gone. Before she did whatever it was that she did she gave me a name, Evermore Laboratories. There’s nothing official about them but if I had to guess I’d say that it’s where this whole thing is based out of.”

“So, what is this plan?” Dan leaned forward in her chair.

“We’re going to kidnap Robin Cross and find out what she knows.” Neil said, “In a perfect world she will have all the information we need to take them down.”

“Can’t you just tell us where to go?” Dan asked, “You’ve been there yourself.”

Neil shook his head, “I barely remember anything from that day. I was too concentrated on trying to survive and the doctor made me keep my eyes closed for most of it. Besides, even if I did know where we escaped from they probably moved their whole operation. Mary knew the ins and outs of everything, they would have been stupid to stay in the same place.”

“So how are we supposed to find Robin?” Allison raised an eyebrow, “I doubt she goes out for a leisurely walk every now and then.”

“And here’s where it gets stupid,” Andrew said as he looked at Neil.

“I’m going to use myself as bait,” Neil said and the room erupted into immediate chaos.

“That is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard!” Matt protested, almost knocking his chair over as he stood.

“You can’t be serious, kid.” Wymack shook his head.

“It’s not as bad as it sounds!” Neil protested.

“It sounds like you’re offering yourself up to these people on a silver platter,”

Andrew huffed and leaned against the table closest to Neil, crossing his arms over his chest, “Always the martyr.”

“I don’t know any other way!” Neil snapped, “Andrew is going to be with me the entire time.”

“That inspires so much confidence,” Dan mumbled.

“I’m just there to make sure you don’t actually get taken,” Andrew said, “this is still a terrible plan.”

“It’s the only plan we have,” Neil sighed as he sat on the table near Andrew.

“If I can say something,” Renee said softly, “I believe we could all come up with a better plan if we work together. Neil’s plan seems like it would work in theory but there’s no way to guarantee his safety and I’m not comfortable risking him just so we have a chance at Robin. We don’t even know if Robin is some kind of trap. Why would she volunteer that information to Andrew?”

“Because she’s tired of being used,” Neil said, “she was looking for a way out and she saw one in Andrew.”

“You’ve said that Riko can make people do things against their will, right?” Renee asked, “Why are you so sure that Robin’s outreach wasn’t his doing?”

“Because Riko thought Andrew was going to die on that roof,” Neil said, “I doubt the thought of failure even entered his mind long enough for him to set up a contingency plan. Hubris has always been his weakness. Riko has been told he was a king since the day he was born, everyone lives in fear of him. He can do no wrong in his own eyes and I’m positive he’ll have blamed the failure on Jean and hasn’t even entertained the possible idea of his plan being terrible. Which is totally was.”

“Still,” Matt spoke up again, “I think Renee is right. Your plan is good in theory, Neil, but it’s too dangerous. I know you’re used to doing things on your own and choosing the option that provides the best results no matter the cost but we’re all working together on this.”

Neil clenched his fist by his side. He wasn’t angry, not exactly, but he wasn’t used to having a plan questioned. There was never anyone around to question his plans after the doctor died and Neil would _never_ question one of her plans when she was alive. He was beginning to rethink the idea of working with Andrew’s team. If Neil was on his own again he would have already been out there putting his plan in motion, using himself as bait for the opportunity to grab Robin. But the thing is, Neil isn’t the same person as that boy with no name was. Neil has people who would be upset if he died. Neil has Andrew.

Neil closed his eyes and sat down on the closest chair and cradled his head in his hands. Neil replayed the look of fear that was written across Andrew’s face after he was stabbed and then thought back to the mixture of relief and anger that Andrew felt when Neil pulled through. Neil knew how much guilt Andrew carried around about Kevin before he found out that Kevin wasn’t actually dead and the idea that Neil could leave Andrew behind with that kind of guilt, or maybe even worse, if he went out and got himself killed in some hastily thrown together plan was almost too much for him to think about. For a brief second Neil thought that maybe things would be easier if he’d never met Andrew, he wouldn’t have to worry about himself and he could go back to doing whatever it took for results, but when Neil lifted his head from his hands and opened his eyes he was locked into a stare with Andrew almost immediately.

Neil could almost see his own reflection in Andrew’s hazel eyes and, while Neil would never say this out loud, he couldn’t bear to be the one that caused those eyes to hurt anymore.

“Fine,” Neil said, still looking into Andrew’s eyes, “we can think of a new plan.”

Neil visibly saw Andrew’s shoulders relax before turning his gaze away from Andrew and looking back at the room full of people. Renee had a small smile on her face and she nodded as her eyes locked with Neil’s.

“I think I might have an idea,” Renee said, “it takes the best parts of Neil’s plan and combines them with one of my own.”

Wymack stood and clapped his hands together, “Then let us hear it, Walker. We don’t have all day.”

“Right.” Renee stood and walked to the front of the room, nodding again at Neil as she passed by.

Neil pushed down his feelings of unease regarding Renee again and closed his eyes as he rested his hand on the closest table near him. Neil blocked out all the sound around him and felt his mind reaching out, intent on getting a preview of Renee’s plan before she told everyone. If only so he could have a chance to argue with her before she even got going.

Neil watched the vision from his third person view and found himself surprised at how much he agreed with it. It was close enough to his own plan that he could work with it and he had to admit that Renee’s added bits and pieces made the thing seem much safer. The vision cut off before Neil could hear the end of it so he opened his eyes and sat back, waiting for Renee to deliver her plan for real this time.

“Neil’s original plan requires an at least semi-public place in order for Riko and Evermore to enlist the aid of Robin. The only problem with that is that it potentially exposes innocent people to danger. We’ve seen in their first attack on Andrew that they have no value for innocent life and that they don’t care about any collateral damage.”

Neil had to give it to her. That was a part he didn’t really think thorough. Neil continued listening as he got up from his chair and walked across the room to where Andrew was sitting. Renee didn’t pause as Neil dropped down next to Andrew but he was aware of a few eyes in the room on the two of them, namely Allison’s. Neil ignored her and braced himself for the next part of Renee’s plan and Andrew’s coming reaction.

“We also know that Neil is not the only person they are interested in. They want both Neil and Andrew. Or rather, they want Neil captured and Andrew dead. Which is why I propose this: we split the two of them up and set up two separate traps, one for Neil and one for Andrew.”

“Fuck no,” Andrew said almost immediately, “Walker, you’re insane if you think I’m going to agree to that.”

“Andrew,” Neil said under his breath, “just listen to what she has to say. I agree with where he plan goes.”

“How do you know where her plan is go- “Andrew stopped in the middle of speaking and rolled his eyes, “Of course you cheated.”

Neil shook his head, “Just be quiet and listen to what she has to say.”

Andrew glared at Neil but made no further attempts at interrupting.

Renee took this as permission to continue, “We send Neil to a public place, if the area is in the open then they will be more likely to use Robin. Assuming they don’t actually want to kill Neil then they will be less likely to use deadly force, especially if they _think_ he’s alone.”

“They think?” Allison asked.

“Yes,” Renee smiled softly, “if Andrew was with Neil then they would send a full-on attack force, I think, just because they know the lengths Andrew would go to defend Neil. However, if we make them think that Neil is alone and wounded then they’re likely to only send a small group of…Ravens…to apprehend him. There is the possibility of an enhanced person joining them which is why myself, Allison, and Wymack will be on site to help Neil if the need arises.”

“And what about me?” Andrew finally asked, his arms crossed over his chest defensively, “What am I doing in all of this?”

“Well, I’m afraid you might have the more dangerous job out of all of us,” Renee frowned, “I only suggest this because I know that you’re capable of holding your own in a fight and because Neil might be able to give you an idea of what to expect.”

“Continue,” Andrew said with a raised eyebrow.

“Andrew, you will be across town from Neil. Neil will call your cellphone from a payphone at whatever location we choose saying he is injured and needs your help. My hope is that they will think you got separated after Jack’s attack on your apartment and Neil is alone, injured, and vulnerable. That will prompt them to send one team for Neil and one for you since you are both separate from each other. There is a possibility that I’m wrong and they will send Robin to your location and not Neil’s, in which case you will have back up in the form of Jeremy, Matt, and Dan. I trust that the four of you, some guns, and a lot of ammunition can take care of yourselves?” Renee’s smile went a little darker than normal for a second before she quickly replaced it with her softer one. Neil filed that observation away for later.

“So, let me get this straight,” Wymack rubbed the bridge of his nose, “You want to split those two up, offer them both up as bait and just hope that one of the ones who come for either of them is a girl who can maybe lead us to where these people are based out of? And if not, you’re opening us all up for an attack that we may or may not walk away from?”

Renee grimaced, “Essentially.”

The air in the room went thin for a moment and Neil felt the overwhelming anxiety of the people around him. Even Andrew was rigid with tension at Neil’s side. Neil let out a breath and spoke, “Her plan is better than mine. I think it will work. It’s dangerous but there’s not a way to do this that isn’t dangerous. At least I’ll be able to give us some kind of heads up on what to expect.”

Andrew relaxed back into the couch and knocked his knee against Neil’s, “Is there some kind of way to keep up communications between both of our groups? I’m not doing this if there’s no way to stay in contact with Neil.”

Neil nodded, “Andrew is right. We need to be able to stay in contact with each other so I’ll be able to try and give everyone a heads up on things coming their way.”

“Can you even do that?” Matt asked, “Half of us are going to be miles away…can you even see things about other people from that far away?”

Neil looked at Matt, then Andrew, then back at Matt, and shrugged, “I don’t know. It worked once in San Diego.”

It was just another risky layer on an already insane plan but Neil knew, as he sensed Andrew did to, that it was the best and only plan they could possibly come up with.

“Do we all agree then?” Renee asked cautiously.

“Yes,” Neil said.

Andrew only nodded.

It took a few moments for the rest of the room to answer but the consensus soon became clear.

It was happening.

 

<O>

 

NEIL made his way into the crowded outdoor mall with a limp, just as the team had discussed. He tried to look as dazed as possible to sell the story just in case someone was watching him. It took him a few minutes but he finally found the payphone. Neil walked around a small crowed of people and slumped against the booth as he fished the change out of his pocket and deposited it into the phone. He dialed Andrew’s number of memory and waited as the phone rang.

A small voice from Neil’s ear drew his attention, “I can’t believe we found an actual working payphone. This has to be the last on in the entire city.”

“Matt,” it was Allison’s voice, “stay off the fucking comms unless it’s life or death.”

Neil tuned out the mumbling in his ear as the mechanical voice of Andrew’s voicemail greeting picked up and read off its electronic greeting. Neil spoke at the beep.

“Andrew,” Neil gasped, “I know, fuck this hurts, I know…you said to not call and that we’d meet up later but…it’s really bad and I don’t know if I can make it across town to you. I’m at The Grove right now and I…fuck there’s so much blood. I found a doctor’s office and I managed to get in while it was closed to steal some stuff to get the bleeding…it’s getting harder to stand and I keep blacking out for a few seconds at a time. I think…I think I saw a boarded-up store near the payphone so I’m going to see if I can hide out in there until you get here. I need your help, Andrew.”

“Good job, Neil,” Renee’s voice broke through the comm link as Neil hung up the phone, “Allison, Wymack, and I are in the store now so come join us and we’ll regroup.”

“On my way,” Neil said as he turned on his heel and slowly made his way towards the closed up store in the distance.

 

<O>

 

JEAN’S door swung open with a thud, causing him to flinch involuntarily.

“The king wants you,” A voice said from the doorway, “do not delay him.”

“Yes,” Jean said, “I am coming.”

Jean finished smoothing out the bandage on his chest and checked it to see if any blood was bleeding thorough before he pulled on a shirt over his head and made his way out of his room and down the long hallway. He paused, briefly, outside of Kevin’s room and softly knocked on the door with the number two etched into it. A feeble knock was returned and Jean nodded, it was enough to know that Kevin was still alive behind that door even if he hadn’t seen him in months.

Jean made his way from Kevin’s door to the room at the end of the hallway and let himself in. Riko was leaned against the counter and talking in a hushed tone. Jean stilled when he realized who Riko was speaking to.

“I don’t want a repeat of last time, Riko. Bring me the boy alive, we tried it your way and it didn’t work. I want him back here, he’s still useful to us. He’s separated from his attack dog and injured so it shouldn’t be too much trouble, even for you.”

Riko bristled at the insult and Jean knew he would pay for that himself at a later time, “Yes, Director. We’ll send two teams after them. One to return the bird to it’s nest and another to put the dog down.”

“Good,” The Director said, “See that it’s actually accomplished this time. If the boy dies then it’s on you, remember that.”

Riko went rigid before nodding, “Yes sir.”

The Director didn’t speak again and his back stayed turned to Jean as he left through the opposite door. Riko’s body held the tension for a few moments longer and Jean smiled to himself, it was nice to see Riko like that.

“Number two,” Riko snapped as he caught sight of Jean, “you have another chance to prove yourself.”

“What is it, King?” Jean asked, biting back the bile in his throat.

“It seems Andrew Doe and the boy, Neil as he likes to call himself now, are separated. Neil was dumb enough to call Doe and we intercepted it. We have both Neil and Doe’s location and they’re miles apart.” Riko smiled.

“What would you like me to do?” Jean asked.

“I’m sending you to kill Andrew Doe.” Riko grinned and pulled out his knife, twirling it as it glinted off the red light overhead, “Take a few men and go put an end to our FBI shaped problem once and for all.”

Jean stilled, he had expected to be sent after Neil, “What about the boy?”

“He’s more important and I’m certainly not trusting you with him after your last fuck up,” Riko snapped, “He’s injured and in a public place, I’m sending a small group after him along with the girl to shut down the power in the area. He’ll be back in our possession by nightfall.”

Riko waved Jean away and Jean nodded before retreating out of the door he came in. He held his composure until he was far enough down the hallway and when he was sure he was alone Jean let his shoulders slump forward. Jean wished he was being sent after Neil. Neil, at least, would probably be more open to listening to what Jean had to say than Doe would be.

Jean shook his head and squared his shoulders again before he walked through the door to assemble his small team. If Andrew Doe wouldn’t listen to what Jean had to say then Jean would just have to make him.

 

<O>

 

“Andrew?” Neil said hesitantly into his comm while he paced back and forth. It had been about an hour since the phone call and Neil was checking every five minutes or so to find out if he could see anything coming on either side.

“Andrew?” Neil said again when Andrew didn’t answer.

“What, Neil?” Andrew’s voice crackled in his ear.

Neil took a deep breath, “If something goes wrong I just wanted to say- “

“No,” Andrew cut him off, “shut up. We’re not having this conversation.”

“But…”

“No.”

“You guys are aware that we call all hear you, aren’t you?” Neil recognized the voice as Jeremy’s.

“Which is why we’re not having this conversation.” Andrew said.

“Fine,” Neil growled, “I can’t see anything yet.”

Neil turned away and leaned his forehead against the wall. He was growing frustrated with waiting and was itching for something to happen. Neil’s brain was working in overdrive as it imagined all the worst possible scenarios that could happen and Neil regretted the lack of time he and Andrew had gotten alone together over the last few days.

Ever since the attack at Andrew’s apartment they hadn’t really had a moment to themselves that didn’t involve life or death stakes and Neil was itching to feel Andrew’s lips pressed against his again, to feel Andrew’s hands roaming his body. But more than that, he just wanted quiet with Andrew. A moment to sit on the couch or stand on the balcony and stand on the balcony to smoke a cigarette in silence.

Maybe when today was over.

Neil’s mind jolted alive as he saw the flashes of people surrounding the building he was in. He desperately looked for any sign of when it was happening and was able to focus on the large clock in the background and realized they had ten minutes to get ready.

“Get the girl to cut the power,” Said an unfamiliar woman who was dressed similarly to the man who attacked them at Andrew’s apartment, “if he’s not in there then fan out and search for him. Remember, this is a strict no firearms engagement and we have to take him alive.”

Neil counted off the number of Ravens. There were seven in total. Six stayed with the woman and one went off in another direction which Neil assumed was where Robin was.

Neil jolted back into reality with a gasp and was immediately circled by Allison, Renee, and Wymack.

“Did you see something?” Renee asked.

“We have ten minutes,” Neil said with a shaky voice, “there’s seven ravens, one woman who I didn’t recognize, and they have Robin with them but I couldn’t see her.”

Wymack held his hand to his ear and turned on his comm link, “We’ve got confirmation on our end. Ten minutes out.”

“What about us?” Andrew asked, “Do you see anything?”

“Give me a second,” Neil said as he closed his eyes.

It took more focus to see Andrew from so far away but just as a headache set in behind Neil’s eyes the images of Andrew flashed in his head.

It was choppier than what he’d seen for himself but there was no mistaking that Andrew was fighting Jean. Jean was bloody and Neil could make out the bodies of Ravens in the background. There was a distant sound of gunfire around Andrew and Jean and Neil’s vision ended with Jeremy appearing behind Jean and pulling him down to the ground.

“Andrew,” Neil gasped, “Jean is coming to you. He’s got a group of people with him but I don’t think anyone special other than himself. I don’t know when he’s coming but it’s got to be soon. They’ve got guns.”

The line was silent for a moment before Andrew’s voice broke through in a whisper, “Yeah, he just got here. He hasn’t seen me yet.”

Shit.

“Matt, Dan, Jeremy, try to hold off on surprising them until you absolutely have to,” Renee said quickly, “use the surprise to your advantage at the last possible moment. Andrew, try to stay hidden until our group arrives. I don’t want one group to communicate with the other about our trap.”

“Got it,” the three voices said almost simultaneously.

“Hey Andrew,” Neil said softly, “don’t die.”

Andrew scoffed, “Don’t do anything stupid while I’m not there to keep you alive.”

“See you in a bit.”

“Yeah.”

 

<O>

 

Andrew stayed hidden for what felt like an hour. All he wanted to do at this point was surprise Jean from behind and beat him to a pulp. He already had pent up rage stemming from their fight on the rooftop and any time Andrew let his mind slip back to the images of Jean dangling Neil by the neck and slamming Neil’s face into a wall Andrew fists began to shake with nervous anticipation. He owed Jean and payback was a bitch.

Knox, Wilds, and Boyd had departed from his position close to ten minutes earlier in other to find themselves better flanking positions on the group. Andrew couldn’t see them and all he could do was trust that they were in position and would be available when he needed them.

Jean stood at the head of the alley, talking in a hushed voice to the various people around him. Andrew recognized them as the newly dubbed Ravens and counted out their numbers. Ten Ravens plus Jean. They were outnumbered but they had the element of surprise. And a lot of guns.

“Andrew, they’re here on our end.” Neil’s voice in Andrew’s ear had a surprisingly calming effect. 

“Reynolds and I are going to go out the back and follow the one breakaway to see if they will lead us to Robin,” Wymack said, “You two going to be fine?”

There was a pause for a few seconds before Neil spoke, “I can’t see anything terrible happening so I think Renee and I will be fine.”

“Always fine,” Andrew said, “give me the go on Jean when you’re ready.”

Andrew waited. It was several more agonizing minutes before Neil’s voice broke through in his ear, he was breathless and panting, as if he was running, “Go Andrew! Now!”

Andrew pushed the thought of Neil running out of his mind, he had to focus on Jean. Andrew mumbled a confirmation into the comms and stepped out into the middle of the alley.

“Looking for someone?” Andrew asked, leaning against the brick wall. He was the picture of unbothered.

“Andrew Doe,” Jean’s voice crept across the expanse between them, his accent just slightly twinging his words, “if I didn’t know any better I’d think you were expecting me.”

Andrew put his hand to his heart and opened his mouth in mock horror, “Whatever could you mean? I’m absolutely shocked to see you here.”

“I had my suspicions that this was a trap,” Jean laughed, “I should have known there was no way that you would willingly let Neil out of your sight otherwise.”

“Oh, so you’re calling him Neil now?” Andrew’s voice dropped as he began to walk towards Jean, “What changed in between now and the last time you saw him? If I remember correctly, which I do because I remember everything, you were a bit too concerned with slamming his face into a wall to be bothered with his name.”

“I think you know better than I do about how fast people can change,” Jean said, taking a single step forward, “I haven’t spoken to Kevin in a while but he had a lot to say about you.”

“Shut the fuck up.” Andrew snapped, “Don’t make this any worse for yourself.”

Jean raised an eyebrow but otherwise stood motionless as Andrew made his approach. Andrew flicked his eyes to the area behind Jean and noted that none of his men had moved with him. They all stood stoically behind him, their arms crossed, just watching.

Andrew came to a stop with less than a foot of space between him and Jean. Due to their difference in height Andrew only came up to the bottom of Jean’s chest but that didn’t stop him. In the blink of the eye Andrew crossed the last of the gap between them and hit Jean right under the chin with an uppercut.

Andrew didn’t waste time waiting for a reaction from Jean, he stepped forward again and hit him once, twice, three times in the stomach before kicking the side of Jean’s knee and sending him crumpling to the ground.

Jean was on his hands and knees as he looked up at Andrew. He was still smiling. Jean used the back of his hand to wipe the trail of blood off the corner of his mouth, “I suppose I deserve that.”

Andrew was done wasting time with words, he grabbed the back of Jean’s head before driving his knee into Jean’s face. Jean let out a sick gasp and spit out a mouthful of blood. Andrew pushed him backwards with his foot and watched as Jean tumbled a few feet.

“This is boring,” Andrew sighed, “make it interesting for me.”

Jean wasn’t fighting back. Andrew assumed this was some kind of plan, maybe he was buying time, but it didn’t make sense. He had a full team of Ravens with him and he could easily overpower Andrew if he actually wanted to.

“Interesting you say?” Jean smiled as he stood up. Jean steadied himself and reached under his long coat.

Andrew tensed and was ready to dive to the side as Jean pulled out a long, silver pistol. Jean smiled at him one final time before turning around and facing his own men. Boyd, Wilds, and Knox apparently took this as their cue to act and they all appeared from their hiding spots at the same time and trained their guns on the group as they surrounded them.

The next moment happened so fast Andrew almost didn’t realize what was happening. Ten loud gunshots echoed through the alleyway as quickly as they could fire off. It took Andrew a second to register that the gunshots had come from Jean, it was the only explanation because Andrew knew that the rest of the team was carrying silenced weapons.

The sound echoed through the air long after the last body had dropped and Andrew’s eyes fell back on Jean who had gently set his gun down on the ground and kicked it towards Andrew. Jean raised his hands in the air and placed them behind his head.

“I believe we should talk.” Jean said as he looked Andrew dead in the eye.

Interesting.

“What the actual hell is happening?” Wilds asked, her gun still trained on Jean.

“Nice surprise,” Jean mused, “I actually didn’t expect that. Oh, hello.”

The last line was directed at Knox. Knox, to Andrew’s surprise, didn’t shy away.

“Hi.” Jeremy said, still cheery, “I hope you don’t plan on hitting me over the head again.”

“Not today,” Jean shrugged as well as he could with his arms over his head, “but there is always tomorrow.”

“We’ll see,” Jeremy laughed, pulling Jean backwards and wrenching his arms behind his back. Andrew heard the distinct sound of handcuffs locking into place as Knox stepped away.

“I was hoping to deliver this idea to Neil himself but I suppose he has another plan, though I cannot say I understand what it is. I expected him to be here with you somehow.” Jean shook his head.

“Doesn’t matter,” Andrew said, “What could you possibly have to say that I would have any interest in.”

“I can tell you where and how to find Riko.” Jean smiled.

“Why would you do that?” Andrew challenged.

“Because I hate him and I want to see Neil win this game.” Jean said, holding Andrew’s stare.

“What’s in it for you?” Andrew dropped to one knee so he was eye to eye with Jean.

“I don’t want anything,” Jean said, “do whatever you want with me after this is over. I only ask that you save Kevin.”

 

<O>

 

“WHAT do you see?” Allison asked, leaning in close to Neil.

Neil pulled his hand from the wall and ran it through his hair, “They don’t have any guns. We don’t have a problem with them.”

Neil could see as far as the six men entering the room and himself, Allison, and Renee dispatching them. Neil now knew why Andrew had such confidence in Renee’s ability to protect herself. It was yet another reason added to the already long list of why she made him uncomfortable.

“Take your place, Neil.” Renee indicated to the middle of the floor as he finished smearing his shirt with what looked like blood. Neil walked to the center of the room and laid down in the puddle of the same substance that Renee had poured on the floor. Whatever it was made it look very convincing. Neil closed his eye and waited while Allison and Renee slipped into their hiding spots in the old store and Wymack made his way out of the back of the store to follow in the direction that Neil told him to.

Neil sucked in a breath and held it as he heard the door open and listened to the footfalls of six people as they entered the store.

“That’s him,” an indistinct voice said, “is he dead?”

“Check him out,” A second voice said.

Neil felt the presence above him and stayed still as a hand lowered itself to his neck and checked for a pulse.

“He’s still alive but I think he passed out from blood loss.”

Neil took that moment to act. His eyes snapped open and before the Raven could act Neil had his fingers in his hand. The Raven made a startled move in an attempt to jerk away but Neil had an iron grip on the fingers and he quickly moved his own hand sideways and felt the Ravens fingers snap. The Raven let out a pained cry as Neil pulled him down towards himself and drove his fist into the Ravens face. Neil felt the Ravens nose break right before his body went limp. Neil pushed the Raven off him and was already heading for his next target as Allison and Renee emerged. Neil had the Raven on the floor by the time Renee engaged in her first fight.

Renee was quick and efficient in her movements. She disarmed her target in under a second and turned the Ravens blade around on him, jamming it into his leg before cutting off his air supply with her forearm and pushing his body to the ground.

“Allison, duck!” Neil called out as he dodged a swipe from his target.

Allison ducked in perfect time, completely missing the blow Neil remembered her taking to her head from his vision.

Allison wasn’t as skilled of a fighter as Renee and Neil were but it was obvious she had practice. Neil had to assume she’d spent time training with Renee. Unlike Neil and Renee though, Allison relied on the pair of collapsible batons she carried instead of her fists.

Allison swung the baton in her left hand first, landing a perfect blow to the side of one Raven’s head before she used the baton in her right hand to block the switch blade a second Raven attacked her with. Allison flipped the baton in her left hand and brought it around in an upward arc to disarm the second Raven and then swung the right baton again, with much more force, into the side of the second Ravens head and smiled in satisfaction as he went down to the ground.

The first Raven had recovered from Allison’s blow and was able to elbow her in the stomach and knock her backwards and onto the ground. Renee stepped in front of Allison to shield her from the second blow and caught the Ravens fist in her hand, she twisted her body and was able to get enough leverage to pull the Raven over her on back and slam him into the ground with little effort. Allison was on her feet by then and kicked the Raven in the side of his head, knocking him unconscious.

Neil kicked the final Raven in the chest and he fell to the floor, rolling, and landed in front of Renee. Renee lowered herself quickly and struck him in the face, once, twice, and he was out.

Allison kicked him in the stomach once and rolled her eyes at the questioning look from Renee, “It was just in case.”

“Neil,” Renee spoke, “you said there was a woman with them. I count the Ravens but she’s missing.”

Neil looked around the room and nodded. He closed his eyes and grounded himself but before he could see anything Wymack’s voice blasted in his ear.

“I think I see the girl,” Wymack was panting, “I don’t know if I can get to her before she does her thing though. If she kills the power we’re going to lose comms, I need backup over here.”

Neil and Allison exchanged glances before Allison nodded and darted out of the back door.   

Just as Neil made his move to follow his attention was drawn back to the front of the store by the sound of footsteps. Neil looked up and finally saw the woman from his vision. She was tall and dressed in a sleek suit. It was the same style as Jack’s but cut for a woman instead.

“You’ve caused a lot of trouble,” the woman shook her head as she looked at Neil, “should have expected that this would be a trap. I knew better than to underestimate you, especially after you killed my partner.”

“You’re Schena,” Neil said, “the one Jack was talking to on the phone.”

Schena nodded.

Neil didn’t have the energy to clarify that he actually didn’t kill Jack. Instead, Neil flexed his shoulders, “Let’s get this over with.”

Neil dropped into a lower stance but was surprised to find Renee’s hand resting on his shoulder.

“No,” Renee said softly, “you need to go help Allison, you’re the only one who can make sure we don’t lose sight of our main goal.”

“Renee,” Neil shook his head, while she unsettled him he certainly didn’t want to leave her here alone to face someone when he had no idea what kind of ability Schena possessed, “I’m not leaving you here by yourself.”

Renee smiled and withdrew her hand, “Go help Allison, I promise you I can take care of myself.”

“Hello?” Allison’s voice sang in Neil’s ear, “I can’t find either of them. I need another set of eyes out here. Preferably a psychic one.”

“Go.” Renee said. She raised her hands to the back of her neck and gently unclasped the silver cross that was dangling at her throat and held it out towards Neil. Neil blinked at her for a moment before her realized what the act symbolized and he stretched out his hand to accept it. Renee gently folded his fingers in on his hand and Neil nodded at her.

Neil looked between the two women and let out a low growl. He didn’t want to leave Renee but Renee was right, they needed to get Robin.

“You’re not going anywhere!” Schena lunged forward towards Neil, reaching out to grab him.

Renee caught Schena’s arm midair and Neil could see the indents Renee’s fingers were leaving in Schena’s skin.

“I am your problem now.” Renee said, her voice calm and steady, “Now go, Neil.”

Neil nodded and ran for the back door. He didn’t have time to spare on seeing the outcome of Renee’s fight when he had to use all his skills to try and locate Robin.

All Neil could do was hope that Renee was able to come out on top.

 

<O>

 

RENEE kept her eyes on Schena as they circled each other. Neither of them spoke for long minutes as they kept their eyes open for an attack. Renee couldn’t help but be reminded of wild animals, of lions stalking their prey. Renee was on the lookout for anything, she didn’t know what kind of ability Schena had, if any, and she didn’t have the luxury or relying on Neil to figure it out for her.

Renee caught the quick movement on Schena’s hand, it was nothing more than a slight twitch but Renee’s eyes were drawn to it immediately. Before Renee could do more to react, she was struck from behind by something solid. The blow made her stagger forward and right into Schena’s reach. Renee barely timed her duck correctly and narrowly missed taking another blow to the face from Schena’s fist.

Schena was some sort of telekinetic. It complicated things but at least the mystery was solved and Renee knew she had to be on guard from all sides, not just the one that was facing Schena.

“Didn’t expect that, huh?” Schena gloated.

Renee kept her voice calm and measured, “No, but I was prepared for worse.”

Schena narrowed her eyes and, as Renee predicted, her hand twitched again. Renee dove to the side and avoided the metal rack that came at her from behind. It was another piece of the puzzle down, Schena didn’t seem to be able to move objects with just her mind, she had to use her hand and that gave her a tell. Schena also had a temper.

Renee decided she could work with both of those facts.

Renee found herself near one of the discarded knives from the Ravens and discretely slipped it into her boot before Schena could notice it. Renee kept her eyes on Schena’s hand and just barely saw the slight twitch of her left hand that was slightly angled to the side. Renee dove forward and out of the way of the mannequin that tried to assault her from her left-hand side. Schena cursed in anger at another failed strike.

Renee was on her feet quickly and closed the gap between herself and Schena in almost an instant, “You’ll have to be quicker than that.” Renee taunted as her elbow connected with Schena’s sternum.

Schena hissed in pain and staggered backwards and Renee took advantage of her disorientation to land another punch right below Schena’s left eye, a bit off center due to the fact that Schena moved slightly at the last possible moment.

Schena brought her hand up to her face to wipe away the blood, and in doing so sent another metal rack flying towards Renee from her right-hand side. Renee wasn’t fast enough to miss the blow completely and took a glancing blow to her right shoulder. Renee hissed in pain as the rack knocked her into the nearest wall and Schena took advantage of the moment.

Before Renee could react Schena grabbed her from behind and locked Renee into a headlock. Renee struggled under Schena’s grip and tried to reach the knife in her boot but wasn’t able to get enough leverage against Schena’s grasp. Instead, Renee jerked backwards and Schena stumbled a few steps with her arm still around Renee’s neck.

Renee raised her foot and stomped on Schena’s. Schena screamed out in pain directly into Renee’s ear before taking a step forward, then another, and beginning to run Renee towards the far wall of the store that was made of bricks. Renee could tell, even from the angle, that if her face collided with the wall the _least_ damaging off all potential injuries would be a broken nose.

Renee was able to find her footing at the last possible second and the resistance made Schena almost stop in her tracks. Renee took advantage of the moment by jumping into the air as Schena pushed forward. The moved caused Schena to stumble and it loosened her hold on Renee’s neck. Renee’s legs stretched towards the wall and the soles of her boots landed parallel on the brick surface.

Using her own momentum combined with Schena’s, Renee was able to take a few vertical steps up the wall and was suspended for a moment in midair, weightless. Renee pushed off of the wall with her legs and flipped her body over Schena’s completely, grabbing Schena’s head in midair and pulling Schena down to the ground as she descended.

Renee landed shakily on her feet and Schena’s face collided with the wooden floor a quick moment later. Schena let out a wet gasp, the sound a sickening combination between a cry and the sound of someone coughing up blood. Renee drew the knife from her boot and before she could stop to second guess the action she drove the blade into the back of Schena’s neck, severing her spinal cord. Schena’s body twitched once before going completely limp.

Renee withdrew the blade and wiped the blood on her back of her dark pants before gently placing it down on the floor. She rested her hand on the back of Schena’s head and closed her eyes to say a prayer.

She did not ask for forgiveness.

 

<O>

 

“TAKE a left!” Neil called out to Allison who was only a few feet in front of him.

Allison wordlessly followed the order, knowing well enough by now that Neil was leading them both in the correct direction. She rounded the corner and finally had Wymack in her line of sight. Wymack was still running but Allison could tell he was losing steam quickly.

“What next?” Allison called out to Neil.

“Right at the next corner,” Neil said between breaths, “Robin should be at the dead end up ahead.”

Allison held up her hand and flashed Neil a thumbs up before passing Wymack and tapping him on the shoulder to let him know that she would take the lead. Wymack nodded and immediately slowed down as Allison rounded the corner.

At the far end of the passageway Allison could make out the figure of a frail looking girl with dark hair huddled in the corner. She slowed down, almost to a walk, and waited for Neil before she got any closer. She didn’t want to scare Robin or make her use her ability, especially when no one knew the true extend of her powers.

Neil skidded to a stop behind Allison a few seconds later and leaned over to brace his hands on his knees as he caught his breath.

“I think you should talk to her,” Allison said, “she knows Doe so maybe she knows about you?”

Neil nodded, “Yeah, good idea.”

Allison stepped to the side and allowed Neil to pass her and watched as he moved slowly towards Robin with his hands raised in a show of good faith. She made a silent note about how he didn’t seem to take a moment to look at whatever the outcome of this conversation was going to be. She decided he was either cocky or too caught up in the moment to think about it.

“Robin,” Neil’s voice was getting quieter as he moved further away, “I’m Neil. I’m friends with Andrew, he said you met him on the roof in San Diego…we’re here to help.”

 _Friends_.

Allison smiled to herself.

Allison kept her eyes trained on Neil and her hand on her gun, just in case. She wasn’t ready to completely rule out Robin as a threat and she knew that Doe would kill her, and really fucking enjoy doing it, if Neil got killed on her watch.

The tension in Robin’s body seemed to subside and she slumped towards Neil. Neil’s body, in turn, went ridged and it was clear he was not entirely used to comforting people. It was actually kind of endearing.

The color seemed to suddenly drain from the world as the loud sound of a gunshot rang out from behind her. Allison turned, feeling as if she was moving in slow motion, and saw the stray Raven standing at the mouth of the passageway holding a smoking gun.

“You’re not taking he- “

The Raven was cut off by the impact from Allison’s own gun that landed square between his eyes. The Ravens body crumpled to the floor and the gun slid towards Allison’s feet. It briefly registered that the gun with an FBI issued pistol and Allison’s immediate thoughts went to Wymack who was not anywhere to be seen.

The concerns about Wymack were overridden by the panicked voice coming from behind her. Allison spun on her heel and recoiled at the sight of Neil’s white shirt covered in more blood than it was previously. Actual blood this time.

Allison sprinted forward, “Where were you shot?”

“Not me,” Neil said as he dropped to his knees and placed his hands on Robin’s stomach which was pumping out blood at an alarming rate.

“Fuck!” Allison took off her jacket and pressed it against the wound in Robin’s stomach before she pulled out her phone and dialed Renee.

“Allison?” Renee answered on the first ring.

“We have a problem,” Allison said quickly, “I need you, it’s an emergency.”

“Neil?” Renee asked with an edge to her voice.

“No, it’s Robin. The other Raven shot her, it’s bad. Stomach wound, a lot of blood. She’s going to die if we don’t do something.”

“Where are you?”

“Administrative building, a few buildings down from where you are. We’re going to move her to somewhere you can find us.”

“I’m on my way.”

Allison hung her up phone and pushed it to the side before she looked back at Neil who was still applying pressure.

“We need to move her out of this hallway and somewhere that Renee can easily find us.” Allison said.

“Why?” Neil asked.

“You’re the psychic, you tell me.” Allison snapped, “Lift her with one arm and keep your other one on the jacket and keep applying pressure. I’ll do most of the heavy lifting.”

Allison and Neil hefted Robin’s body up into their arms and slowly made the way down the hall and out to the main floor. Neil was able to keep the pressure on Robin’s would and the bleeding seemed to have slowed some by the time they sat Robin back down on the floor. Allison checked Robin’s back and found no exit wound.

Renee came to a stop in front of them at almost the exact second they sat Robin down.

Allison looked up at her and frowned, “No exit wound. The bullet is still inside.”

“That’s fine,” Renee said softly, “I’ve worked with worse than that.”

Allison nodded and removed her hands from Robin’s body.

“Neil, if you could please step back from Robin?” Renee asked.

“What?” Neil’s head snapped up and he locked eyes with Renee.

“Just do it!” Allison growled, “There’s not much time left if you actually want to save her.”

Neil looked from Robin’s body, then to Allison, then Renee, and back to Robin. He glared one final time before relenting and throwing his hands up in the air.

Allison shook her head, for a psychic he wasn’t very perceptive.

Renee removed the jacket from Robin’s stomach and pulled her shirt up just enough so that the wound was exposed. Renee looked at Allison one final time before nodding and turning her attention back to Robin. Renee placed her hands on top of each other and held them directly on Robin’s stomach and a few seconds later the space around Renee’s hands began to glow.

Allison looked to Neil and found him staring at Renee, eyes wide and his jaw slack.

Renee’s eyes were closed and she had the most serene look on her face. It wasn’t the first time she’d seen Renee do this but it still amazed her how beautiful Renee looked during it with the light reflecting off of her pale skin.

Renee began to raise her hands off of Robin’s body, the light growing brighter the higher they went, and Allison saw the small traces of movement under Robin’s skin. A few moments later the small piece of metal emerged from Robin’s skin and held itself in suspended animation as Robin’s blood began to flow in reverse and return to her body. A moment after that Robin’s skin began to mend itself back together and right before the light between Renee’s hands went out the bullet dropped from its place in the air and landed on the ground without a sound.

Renee slumped backwards and rested her body against the wall, her hands were trembling and her eyes were closed. Allison frowned, she knew how much energy this took out of Renee, especially when someone was as close to death as Robin was, but it had to be done.

“Holy shit,” Neil breathed as he reached out with the hem of his shirt to wipe away the reaming traces of blood on Robin’s stomach.

In the place of Robin’s gunshot wound was the small pink mark of a newly healed scar.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also, you'll notice this is now a part of a series. i will officially be beginning work on a sequel a little bit after this story ends. i wasn't entirely sure if i wanted to do one but i've spent the last few days working out a rough plan for an eventual sequel and i'm pretty pleased with it so


	28. Over The Rainbow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey! we have a chapter! sorry it's been so long but i've had like...zero motivation to write anything but it seems to be coming back to me and we're getting closer to the end of this whole thing so i hope to get back on track with regular updates

 

 

 

XXVIII

Over The Rainbow

 

“NEIL!”

Allison’s voice finally snapped Neil back into reality. He’d be lost in his head, a mixture of confusion, surprise, and shock battering him all at once. Neil’s eyes trailed from Allison, to Renee, and back to Robin who was laying on the ground and surrounded by a pool of blood.

Neil ignored the blood and leaned in closer to Robin and noticed that her breathing had evened out. Neil had enough experience with gunshot wounds to know that Robin was dangerously close to not making it though hers only a few seconds before. But now? Now, Robin was breathing evenly and the only sign that anything had even happened to her in the first place was a small pink scar just slightly off center on her stomach.

On top of the scar rested a twisted ball of metal, the bullet that Renee had pulled out of Robin.

The bullet that Renee had pulled out of Robin with her own abilities.

Neil couldn’t believe it, except for that fact that he could. He had known there was something off about Renee from the moment he met her. He’d known Renee was hiding something and part of him had…sensed maybe…that she wasn’t as ordinary as she made herself out to be.

Neil’s suspicions were confirmed two-fold, not only because of her ability but because of the way she fought. No one, especially not a good Christian girl who wore a silver cross around her neck, fought like that without serious training. And it wasn’t the kind of training you got as a federal agent.

“Dammit, Neil!” Allison snapped again, “Get out of your damn head and help me with Robin!”

Neil blinked, “Right.”

Neil lifted Robin up and held her against his shoulder. She was unsurprisingly light, she reminded Neil of himself before he’d found Andrew. She was likely malnourished and weighed well below what would be considered healthy. It made a fire burn through Neil, it was just another example of how Riko and the director used people without giving a single fuck about how they were being treated.

Neil would relish the day he killed them both.

“We’re near a loading bay, I saw a door a few hallways back,” Allison said quickly, “We can’t take Robin out in public like this, she’s still covered in blood and Renee isn’t going to be able to do much more than walk in a straight line for a little bit.”

“Where’s Wymack?” Neil asked, suddenly realizing they were missing a member of their makeshift team.

“I’m here, I’m here,” Wymack’s gruff voice came from behind him.

If anyone noticed Neil flinch at Wymack’s deep voice…no one acknowledged it.

“You’re alive…” Allison said with an exasperated smile.

“Don’t all look so excited,” Wymack groaned, “fucker came up from behind me and knocked me out.”

“We took care of him,” Neil said as he angled his head towards the dead body of the Raven at the end of the hallway.

“Wonderful, just what I needed to see,” Wymack’s eyes zeroed in on the pool of blood between them, “Anyone want to explain that?”

Neil caught Renee’s eye and recognized the pleading in it. Wymack didn’t know about her and she didn’t want him to know. Neil could respect that.

“It’s not ours,” Neil shrugged.

Wymack narrowed his eyes but gave up with a huff when it was evident that Neil wasn’t going to elaborate.

“We need to get Robin to the loading bay back there,” Allison pointed back towards the way Wymack came, “You think you can lift her?”

“Yeah,” Wymack nodded, “I’m old, not dead.”

“Neil…” Allison said.

“I’ll stay here with Renee, we both need to take a second after that fight,” Neil managed to give Allison a small smile, “I’ll see if I can find anything on the body over there, it’s not likely but stranger things have happened.”

Renee let out a surprised laugh, “I suppose they have.”

“Renee…”

“Go, Allison, I’ll be fine. Neil will watch over me.”

Allison seemed to take that as all the confirmation that she needed. Neil handed off Robin to Wymack, pointedly not touching any part of the other man, and hoped that Robin wouldn’t wake while she was in his arms. He didn’t know for sure if she had the same kind of experiences as him, but he wouldn’t doubt it.

Renee didn’t speak again until she was sure that they were both alone, “No one knows expect for Allison. Not even Andrew.”

“Obviously,” Neil shrugged, “if he’d known about you I don’t think he would have had the same reaction he had when I told him about me.”

Renee smiled softly, “I would have liked to see that. Andrew is normally so…reserved with his emotions, it would have been nice to see him let his guard down.”

“It…he…” Neil trailed off, it was hard, and slightly uncomfortable, to talk about Andrew when he wasn’t around.

“Shh,” Renee whispered, “you don’t have to say anything. I know you and Andrew have a close relationship, I’ve seen the way he is around you. I know you couldn’t, and wouldn’t, keep this from him. You can tell Andrew about me, I just ask that you keep my secret from the rest of the team. I’m not ready for them to know.”

“I won’t tell anyone and I won’t tell Andrew until you’re with us.” Neil said, Andrew would have questions and they would be questions Neil couldn’t answer on his own.

“Thank you,” Renee smiled, “It’s not that I don’t trust them but…we’ve both seen what people are capable of and how they can exploit people like us.”

Somehow Neil knew that Renee wasn’t talking about him or Robin.

“I’m going to call Andrew and make sure he’s OK.” Neil said, changing the subject for the both of them.

“That sounds like a good idea,” Renee nodded, “I’d like to know that they’re all safe.”

Neil pulled out his phone and dialed Andrew’s number from memory.

It rang once before Andrew picked up.

“Neil?” Andrew asked.

“It’s me,” Neil said.

“And?”

“I’m fine.”

“Figures.”

Neil bit back a smile, he could almost hear Andrew rolling his eyes.

“How’d everything go on your end?” Neil asked.

“You’re psychic, you tell me.” Andrew deadpanned.

Neil scoffed, “I’ve been a little busy, asshole.”

“Everyone here has all their fingers and toes,” Andrew huffed, “I’m in the middle of having a conversation with your friend Jean.”

“And?” Neil asked.

“There’s been an interesting development,” Andrew sounded amused, “I’ll let you know when I figure out how serious he is.”

“OK,” Neil said, “we have Robin and we’re heading back. I’ll see you there?”

“Yes, Neil,” Andrew said, “I’ll see you there.”

“OK.” Neil hesitated, “Stay safe.”

Andrew was silent for a moment, for long enough that Neil thought that Andrew had hung up on him. Just as Neil was about to end the call, Andrew spoke, “You too.”

Andrew hung up immediately after.

Neil turned back to Renee and found her smiling at him. Some of the color had returned to her face and she seemed more alert.

“Allison just texted, they’re at the loading bay.”

Neil stood and extended his hand to Renee to help her up. Renee looked momentarily surprised by the action but quickly took Neil up on his offer. Neil offered her his shoulder to hold onto but she waved him away and politely declined.

They found the loading dock easily enough and Wymack had already loaded Robin into the back seat of the dark SUV. Robin was still unconscious but she didn’t seem to be showing any signs of lasting injury. Wymack sat in the front seat while Allison drove and Renee crawled into the second row of seating and sat next to Neil.

“There’s nothing on the scanners about any disturbances in the area, no one even called in the gunshots.” Allison said as she pulled the SUV onto the main road.

“Doesn’t surprise me,” Neil said as he looked out the window, “once no one reports back to Riko he’ll have realized something went wrong and a team will be sent in to clean up.”

“Should we wait for them?” Allison asked.

“No,” Neil shook his head, “he’ll probably send a large one and there’s not enough of us and we’re all injured.”

There was no point in waiting around, Riko wouldn’t send anyone with valuable intel. Just a group to cover his ass.

“Neil spoke to Andrew,” Renee added, “everyone is fine, I was worried when our coms went down but Andrew says everyone is safe.”

“He said something happened with Jean but he wasn’t sure if he should trust it,” Neil frowned.

“You don’t think he turned on Riko, do you?” Wymack asked.

“I don’t know…” Neil sighed “But if he did I would trust it. He’s always hated Riko and maybe seeing me…”

“Don’t tell me you think almost killing you was some kind of come to Jesus moment for him, “Allison scoffed, “No offense, Ren.”

Renee laughed, “None taken.”

Neil closed his eyes as everyone continued talking. He leaned against the window and let familiar hum of a moving vehicle settle him as he waited to arrive back at Fox Tower.

 

<O>

 

“ALRIGHT Jean Valjean, you’ve got my attention.”

Andrew was crouched in front of Jean, leaning dangerously into his personal space. Andrew was close enough that he could see the small specks of blue in Jean’s gunmetal eyes.

“I told you, I want to help you dethrone the king.” Jean’s face was impassive as he spoke and Andrew was scrutinizing ever small twitch.

“Funny,” Andrew hummed as he leaned back on his feet, “last time I saw you you were trying to kill me. Then you tried to kill Neil.”

“In my defense, Neil did throw me off of a building.”

“Yeah, he’s funny like that.”

Jean sighed, “I will not lie and say I was just following orders. Part of me did want to hurt Neil, I wanted to make him feel the years of pain I had to suffer after he ran away.”

“So you thought leaving him to be burned alive was the way to go?” Andrew narrowed his eyes and lightened his grip on the hilt of the knife that he held in his hand.

Behind Jean, Andrew saw Boyd and Wilds cringe in unison. Knox, on the other hand, sat on top of a crate that was close by and seemed to be watching the entire exchange with scrutiny.

Jean continued, “When I learned that Neil, and yourself, survived…I was glad. I know that if anyone is going to have a chance at Riko it would be the two of you.”

“So, you’re saying you just want to use us?” Andrew rolled his eyes, “Figures.”

“What?” Jean scoffed, “Would you rather I tell you that I am sorry and that I wish us to be best friends? I will not apologize for the things I do to survive. All I can do now is help.”

“Things you do to survive?” Andrew echoed, “Seemed to me a few minutes ago you were talking like you didn’t care if you lived or died.”

“I don’t,” Jean said simply, “I care to live long enough to see Riko die, and if I have to die in order for that to happen then I have already made peace with that.”

“Why are we talking about Jean dying?” Knox asked from atop his perch on the crate.

“When Riko finds out that I have given you information, or that I have betrayed him, then he will kill me. I can give you locations, codes, contacts, anything you would need to get into Evermore but the cost of that information would be my life.”

Andrew stood and brushed the dirt off of his jeans, “Seems like a fair trade to me.”

“You can’t be serious?” Knox gaped, “He’s willing to help us and you’d just as soon send him off to his death in exchange for some intel?”

“I know you’ve arrived late to the party, Knox, but you can take your boyscout bullshit and shove it up your-“

Andrew was cut off by Wilds jumping in between them, “Knox is right. We can’t just send Jean off to be killed.”

“Fucking wonderful,” Andrew muttered under his breath.

Of course, of course he would get stuck with the rejected extras from Barney and Friends for a team. Andrew knew that if Neil were here that he’d realize it was what they had to do.

“The concern for my life is neither welcomed nor needed,” Jean said, “I do not care what happens to me as long as it leads to the death of Riko.”

Now it seemed like it was Boyd’s turn to step forward, “What if there’s another way?”

“What are you thinking, Boyd?" Knox perked up.

“Well, it seems to me like the only way Riko would know Jean betrayed him is if he knew Jean was the one who killed the Raven’s back there.” Boyd shrugged, “It’s not out of the realm of possibility that we could have killed them. Riko will already know that we intentionally set a trap because of everything that is happening with the other group, right?”

Wilds nodded.

Knox smiled.

Andrew rolled his eyes.

“What if Jean makes it back to Riko and…I don’t know, helps sell it even more? Say they were ambushed, Neil’s a psychic and would have seen everything coming.”

“Riko would not believe I made it back to him unscathed, especially after a run in with Doe.” Jean shook his head, “It will not fool him.”

“Unscathed, huh?” Andrew kicked at the rocks under his feet, “We can always change that.”

“Doe, no.” Knox shook his head.

“No, he is right,” Jean sighed, “if you people are so intent on keeping me alive then I cannot go back to Riko unharmed.”

“Wouldn’t Riko wonder why Doe didn’t just kill you?” Wilds frowned.

A lightbulb went off in Andrew’s head, “I wouldn’t. I’d use Jean to send him a message.”

“Riko would take that as a personal offense coming from me,” Jean grimaced, “It would likely be very painful for me after the fact.”

Andrew had no ounce of pity to spare Jean.

“Do you want to live in pain,” Andrew offered, “Or die?”

Jean was silent.

“I’m all for you dying,” Andrew added, “but you could be useful. If we’re going to be suicidal enough to bring the fight directly to Riko it could help to have someone on the inside. Who knows, maybe I’ll even let you watch when I kill him. Slowly.”

And maybe Jean would know where Kevin is. That was something they couldn’t negotiate right now…but maybe later.

Jean surviving this encounter was turning out to be the better option after all.

“Jean,” Knox said softly as he crouched down next to Jean, “do you think Riko would believe it? That Doe would send you back as a message?”

Jean seemed to consider Knox’s question, “Yes, he is arrogant enough to believe that.”

“Alright then,” Andrew sheathed the knife back in his sleeve and cracked his knuckles, “you three go wait in the car.”

“Doe,” Boyd’s voice was low and full of warning.

“Go,” Andrew glared, “I’ll be there in a minute.”

The three agents looked at him, then at each other, and frowned. Andrew was impassive as they all turned their backs on him, shaking their heads, and made their way back to their vehicles.

Knox lingered a second longer than the other two, stopping just next to Jean and resting a hand on Jean’s shoulder, “You’re very strong, I hope you know that.”

Jean didn’t respond, and Andrew figured that Knox didn’t expect him to, but Andrew did notice the way Jean’s face fell for a moment, the façade broken for a brief second.

Maybe Jean did care about his life more than he let on.

“Go, Knox.” Andrew demanded.

Knox looked down at Jean one final time before frowning and heading towards Boyd and Wilds.

Andrew waited until the three disappeared from view to walk back over to Jean. Andrew fished the keys for the cuffs out of his pocket and crouched behind Jean, unlocking the cuffs and tapping him on the shoulder in a silent command to stand.

Jean looked puzzled, “Why?”

Andrew sighed, “Contrary to popular belief, I am not a monster. I’m not going to hurt someone who can’t even fight back.”

“Fight back?” Jean raised an eyebrow.

“Yes,” Andrew rolled his eyes, “you’re going to tell me everything I need to know and then we’ll get to it. I’ll hit you, you hit me back, we’ll go until one of us has had enough.”

Jean looked at Andrew in disbelief but he was already rubbing his wrists to return the feeling to them and then took to cracking his knuckles.

“Fair warning,” Andrew narrowed his eyes, “I’m not going to hold back.

 

<O>

 

Neil walked the lobby of Fox Tower with nervous energy thumping in his veins. He was too…tired? Nervous? Worried? Something? To even allow himself to focus on trying to force a vision so he instead opted to walk the spiral designs of the marble floor of the lobby. Neil followed the pattern as it lopped and twisted its way across the floor and was so lost in his thoughts that he almost didn’t hear the front door of the hotel open.

Almost.

Neil spun as the door clicked closed, his knife already out of his sleeve and in his hand, and only relaxed the tension in his shoulders when he saw that it was Matt standing at the top of the landing.

“Matt!” Neil breathed, “You’re OK.”

“Yeah…” Matt trailed off, his voice subdued.

Dan and Jeremy appeared behind Matt a second later, each of them wearing the same exact somber look on their faces.

It could only mean one thing.

“Where is Andrew?” Neil’s voice was low and mixed with caution and fury.

“Neil, he’s-“

“Where is he?”

Jeremy was the one who finally spoke, “He’s OK, mostly. He’s outside.”

 _Mostly_.

Neil didn’t wait for anyone else to speak, he was already pushing past them when he felt Matt’s hand on his arm. Neil froze.

“Don’t touch me,” Neil whispered.

Matt’s hand withdrew immediately, “Sorry…I just…he’s fine, Neil. It was his idea.”

Neil didn’t care what anyone else had to say, he shook his head and pushed his way through the double doors that let out into the courtyard of the hotel.

Neil saw Andrew sitting a few feet away. Andrew’s back was facing Neil and he was perched on the edge of the fountain that sat in the middle of the courtyard. The sun was setting and it cast a warm pink glow over the area. The only sound came from the droplets of water the fountain spilled into the pool below it, along with the occasional honk of the cars on the road in front of Fox Tower.

Neil walked slowly towards Andrew, making just enough sound so that Andrew knew someone was approaching him from behind.

“Andrew?” Neil said hesitantly.

Neil heard Andrew let out a sigh and watched at Andrew lifted a single hand and waved his fingers forward, a clear invitation for Neil to join him. Even from far away Neil could see that Andrew’s knuckles were split open and covered in angry red blood.

Andrew didn’t say anything as Neil rounded the fountain, and continued to stay silent as Neil crouched in front of him and reached out a hesitant hand to lift his chin up.

Andrew nodded and mumbled a yes just before Neil’s thumb and forefinger captured his chin and slowly tilted Andrew’s head so he could get a better look at it.

The left side of Andrew’s face was swollen and Neil could already see the black eye forming. There was a long gash on Andrew’s forehead and his nose looked a little more crooked than it did the last time Neil saw it. Andrew’s lips were split open in four different places and his right eye was bloodshot.

“What the fuck happened?” Neil asked.

“Jean,” Andrew grunted, “he looks worse than I do.”

“I thought you said he wanted to help us or something?” Neil shook his head.

“It’s a long story,” Andrew sighed, “one I don’t feel like telling right now.”

“Where else are you hurt?” Neil asked, he could tell by the way Andrew was sitting that there was more damage that he couldn’t see.

“Neil.” Andrew warned.

“Andrew.” Neil deadpanned.

“Stop.”

“Stop what?”

Andrew was silent.

Neil clenched his fists and took a deep breath, “Stop worrying about you? Stop caring that you’re hurt? Why are you allowed to worry about me when I get hurt but I’m not allowed to worry about you?”

Andrew looked up and focused his one bloodshot eye on Neil, “Because I don’t need you to worry about me.”

“Need and want are two different things.” Neil let out a deep breath and pushed himself up to sit next to Andrew.

“And you’re an expert on this now?” Andrew scoffed.

“Yes, actually,” Neil said, “I learned it a while ago…around the time I met someone who told me to stop running.”

“I hate you.” Andrew mumbled.

“I know,” Neil smiled, “let’s go inside.”

Andrew grunted in agreement and pushed himself up, stopping half way and barely suppressing a wince from the pain he must have been feeling. Neil was on his feet half a second later and gently wrapped his arm around Andrew’s waist. Neil waited a moment, just to see what Andrew would do, and bit back a smile when he felt Andrew shift some of his body weight into Neil’s side.

Andrew wrapped his arm around Neil’s shoulder and they both moved, slowly, towards the door of fox tower.

“That elevator better fucking work,” Andrew growled, “I’m not taking the damn stairs.”

“We’ll find out after we talk to Renee…there’s something I think you should know and I think she should be the one to tell you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love jean. i love andrew. andrew doesn't love jean. jean doesn't love andrew. 
> 
> i am sad.


	29. Epiphany

XXIX

Epiphany 

“WHAT was the point of all of this again?” Neil frowned as he sat Andrew down on the edge of the bed in their room at Fox Tower.

“Information,” Andrew grunted, “would you rather me have killed him?”

Neil let out of puff of air in Andrew’s direction. Andrew wrinkled his nose and Neil didn’t miss the small wince of pain. It was barely there, almost perfectly concealed, but Neil had some practice in lying to hide the pain.

Neil knelt in front of Andrew and rocked back on his legs, “I need to check your nose to make sure it isn’t broken.”

Andrew glared at Neil, “It’s not broken, I know what a broken nose feels like, Neil.”

Neil glared back, “Then you won’t mind if I check it.”

Andrew narrowed his eyes but made no attempts to stop Neil when Neil leaned forward. Neil pressed his index fingers on either side of Andrew’s face, starting at his temples and slowly moving them in. Each press brought him closer and closer to Andrew’s nose. Andrew grimaced the closer Neil’s fingers got to his nose but Neil let out a baited breath when he was able to press both fingers along the bridge of Andrew’s nose without Andrew being left in extreme pain.

“Not broken,” Neil said softly.

“Told you,” Andrew scoffed, “any other medical opinions?”

Neil narrowed his eyes, “You’re a terrible patient.”

Andrew jerked his head away from Neil’s hands and Neil noticed another wince.

Neil laced his fingers together before letting out a sigh and running a single hand through his hair. He leaned closer to take stock of the other injuries on Andrew’s face and found that the cut on his forehead had a few stray pieces of gravel in it.

“Stay there,” Neil ordered, standing and making his way towards the bathroom.

Neil stopped when he was halfway across the room and spun on his heel to face back towards Andrew, his hand outstretched as if he was telling a new puppy to stay exactly where it was. Andrew caught the implication and glared daggers at Neil. Neil smiled, feeling warm, and searched through the bathroom before coming back with what he needed.

“This is probably going to hurt,” Neil frowned, “you’ve got some gravel or something in one of the cuts on your forehead.”

“Lovely,” Andrew rolled his eyes.

Neil shook his head and picked up a pair of tweezers, dipping them in a small cup of rubbing alcohol before gently easing the small bits of stone out of Andrew’s forehead. Andrew closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath as Neil wrestled with a particularly stubborn bit of rock.

“You don’t have to be like that,” Neil said softly, “I’m not going to judge you for being in pain.”

“Shut up,” Andrew whispered, “just get it over with.”

Neil was quiet for the remainder of his work. The only sound in the room came from either Andrew or Neil breathing or the soft thump of gravel as Neil dropped it onto the bedside table.

Neil grabbed a piece of gauze and used it to clean off the rest of Andrew’s face, spending the most time with the cuts on his lips.

“Hey,” Neil hummed, “how did all this first aid stuff get into our bathroom?”

Andrew’s lips turned up into the smallest of smiles, “I figured you’d get the shit kicked out of you sooner or later so I stocked the bathroom.”

“Congratulations,” Neil smiled, “you played yourself.”

“At least I’m not half dead.”

“Yes, that’s something to be proud of.”

“Are you done?” Andrew droned.

“Why are you making such a big deal out of this?” Neil sighed, “Why are you allowed to take care of me when I’m hurt but the second I want to make sure that you’re OK or that you’re not in pain you shut down?”

Andrew was silent for a moment before speaking, “I’m used to taking care of myself and patching up my own bumps and bruises. You, on the other hand, are a walking tragedy who leaps headfirst into danger and pulls knives out of his own body. If I didn’t take care of you then no one would.”

Neil swallowed what felt like a boulder.

“Don’t make this a thing,” Andrew shook his head, “just tell me what’s so important about Renee?”

Neil blinked for a moment, then shook his head at the less than subtle attempt at a subject change.

“No,” Neil said, “that’s something she needs to tell you herself.”

Neil wished Renee could show him, that she could heal Andrew or at least help him so that he wasn’t in any pain, but she wanted to keep her ability a secret from the rest of the team and Neil couldn’t begrudge her that right. If Andrew reappeared with all of his injuries miraculously healed then people would start asking questions.

Still, Andrew wanted to change the subject and Neil decided he would oblige. He wasn’t in the mood to bring up any painful childhood memories for either of them at the moment.

“So,” Neil wondered, “what happens after this?”

“After what?”

Neil waved his arms around the room, “This.”

Andrew snorted, “You mean if we don’t all die?”

“Yes,” Neil rolled his eyes, “if we don’t all get murdered or otherwise killed, what happens then?”

“I’m already planning on ways you can use some of that money of yours to fix the apartment,” Andrew said as he leaned back into the bed, “it’s kind of your fault that it’s trashed.”

“I don’t know, I quite like the Andrew shaped holes in the walls and ceiling, I think it adds to the atmosphere of the place.” Neil grinned.

“You at least owe me a new sliding glass door,” Andrew said, rattling off a list in his head, “the hardwood probably needs to be replaced because I know they didn’t take time to clean off the blood properly.”

“So, you’re basically taking my entire life’s savings?” Neil laughed.

“Yes.”

“OK,” Neil shrugged, “I don’t think I’ll need to use it for anything else.”

Neil saw Andrew’s head turn out of the corner of his eye.

“You were planning on using that money to escape a few days ago,” Andrew raised an eyebrow.

Neil turned his head to meet Andrew’s stare, “If we make it through this then I won’t have to escape and if we die then I can’t really use the money anyway.”

Andrew only hummed in response. Neil didn’t know if he should take that as a good sign or a bad one. Neil absentmindedly chewed on his bottom lip as he thought about his life after this entire thing was over. He could picture himself waking up and eating breakfast at the bar of Andrew’s apartment, he could see himself and Andrew relaxing on the couch and watching shitty TV, he could see more dinners with Nicky and maybe even Aaron.

Neil imagined an entire lifetime in that apartment, and what struck him the most was that at some point he stopped thinking of it as Andrew’s apartment and started to think of it as _their_ apartment.

“Andrew?” Neil asked softly.

“Hmm?” Andrew hummed.

“Can I kiss you?”

Andrew inhaled sharply and Neil closed his eyes, unwilling to see Andrew’s face if he was going to reject him. They hadn’t gotten to do much of anything with each other, and it struck Neil as odd that they’d only kissed a handful of times. It seemed like their relationship had been in this new stage for months but Neil supposed that almost dying changes the way you view a lot of things.

Neil’s eyes blinked open when he felt a tap on the tip of his nose. He opened his eyes to find Andrew’s reflecting back at him, heavy and intense. Andrew nodded and parted his lips as Neil leaned forward.

Their lips slotted together perfectly, like they were always meant to go together. Neil’s tongue swiped along the bottom of Andrew’s lip and he was surprised for a moment when he found the familiar copper taste of blood. It made Neil hesitate for a moment, he didn’t want to hurt Andrew just by kissing him.

Neil’s moment of hesitation was interrupted by Andrew. Andrew leaned deeper into the kiss, opening his mouth and allowing Neil’s tongue to slip inside as Andrew’s tongue did the same in return. Andrew’s hands were on Neil’s chest next, tightening into fists as he pulled on the material of Neil’s shirt. Neil’s hands made their way across Andrew’s shoulders and came to a rest in Andrew’s hair. Neil threaded his fighters through Andrew’s fine blonde hair, pulling lightly, and smiled against Andrew’s lips as Andrew let out a soft moan.

“Stop smiling,” Andrew’s murmured against Neil’s lips before pushing him backwards towards the bed.

Neil expected to feel terrified at first as he felt almost all of Andrew’s weight on top of him. He was surprised, pleasantly, at how much he enjoyed the feeling. He liked the way Andrew weighed him down, the way it felt like the ultimate form of protection. There was nothing else in the universe except for every point that their bodies touched each other.

“Andrew,” Neil panted, breathless, “will you sleep in the bed with me tonight?”

Andrew paused, pulling his lips away from Neil, and looked down at him with raised eyebrows.

Neil felt his skin flush, “Not like that,” Neil stammered, “I just…I want to feel you next to me when I sleep.”

Andrew braced himself above Neil, his arms on either side of Neil’s head, “Are you going to wake me up in the middle of the night when you get out of bed to go sleep on the balcony?”

Neil frowned, “No…I only move where I’m sleeping when I don’t feel comfortable or don’t know where I am.”

Andrew was quiet.

“I feel…” Neil hesitated, “I feel safe with you, I wouldn’t leave.”

“Fine,” Andrew said, “if you kick me in the middle of the night then I’m smothering you with a pillow.”

Neil smiled and leaned his head up to kiss Andrew.

Somehow that made him feel safer.

 

<O>

 

NEIL was in the shower when someone finally knocked on their door a few hours later. Andrew figured it was a miracle he even got Neil to separate from him for long enough to scrub the blood out from under his fingernails. He was beginning to find that for someone who had never kissed anyone before, Neil was surprisingly good at it and was hard to stop once he got going.

Not that Andrew really minded.

Andrew pushed himself off the bed with a groan, wincing at the sharp pain in his ribs as he straightened himself out too quickly. He crossed the room and stood on his toes to look out the peephole of the door and found himself looking at Reynold’s chest and Walker’s chin.

Andrew sighed and opened the door before making his way back to the bed.

“Alright,” Reynold’s scoffed, “we’ll let ourselves in.”

“Andrew,” Walker smiled, “how are you feeling?”

Andrew tapped two fingers to his forehead in a lazy salute, “Just peachy.”

“Andrew?” Neil’s muffled voice came from the bathroom, “Who are you talking to?”

“Walker and Reynold’s,” Andrew called back, “care to grace us with your presence?”

“Oh,” Neil said, Andrew could hear the tension in his voice even from the other side of the door, “I…uh…left my shirt out there, can you throw it to me?”

“Don’t be so modest,” Reynold’s laughed, “I’ve seen you kill a man, I think I can take seeing you shirtless.”

Andrew glared at her.

“Allison,” Walker said, somewhat forcefully.

Andrew walked to Neil’s bag and pulled out the thickest shirt he could find before walking to the bathroom door and knocking on it, tapping out a small tune so Neil would know it was him. The door cracked open and Andrew stood in front of it to block out any possible view of Neil.

“Thank you,” Neil smiled, “I’ll be out in a minute.”

“Has Neil told you anything about earlier?” Walker asked as Andrew turned around.

“Nope,” Andrew said as he rocked back and forth in place, “he told me to wait for you.”

Walker smiled, “He’s very considerate, I like him.”

“Cool,” Andrew shrugged, “I’ll set you two up on a play date.”

Andrew barely resisted rolling his eyes because as far as he knew, Neil wasn’t able to be alone with Walker for more than a few minutes without getting wigged out.

Andrew turned his head as the bathroom door opened and Neil stepped out. He was followed by a cloud of steam, still slightly wet, and his hair was sticking up every which way as he scrubbed it with a towel. He looked utterly ridiculous and fucking beautiful.

“You’ve got to let me do something about your hair!” Walker laughed.

“What do you mean?” Neil snapped defensively.

“First, there’s a thing called a brush.”

“I have a brush.”

“Is it still in the package?”

“…Yes.”

“I rest my case.”

Andrew folded his arms across his chest, “We can play beauty shop later after someone tells me what the hell this cloak and dagger stuff is for.”

The room went quiet until Renee spoke.

“Andrew, I have something to tell you.”

Andrew nodded.

“I’m like Neil,” Walker said, looking directly into Andrew’s eyes, “I, too, have an ability. A gift.”

Of course.

“Seriously?” Andrew blinked, “Don’t tell me you can fly or something.”

Walker giggled, “No, not exactly.”

“Then what can you do?” Andrew asked.

“I think, maybe, it would be better if I showed you,” Walker smiled, “Can you take off your shirt? I assume you have a few injuries from your fight with Jean?”

Andrew blinked. Sure, he had injuries but most of them were on his face. Still, it was worth going with just to see what the hell would happen. Except that Andrew couldn’t raise his right arm high enough to allow his shirt to be pulled off. Probably a bruised rib after all.

“Do you mind if I lift up your shirt?” Walker asked as she pointed in the general direction of his bruised rib.

“Go for it,” Andrew said.

“Neil,” Walker turned to face him, “would you hold up Andrew’s shirt for me? It would be hard for me to do both at the same time.”

Neil nodded and replaced Walker’s hand on his shirt, lightly touching Andrew’s side in the process.

“Alright, hold still.” Walker said as she placed her palm a few inches above the bruise on Andrew’s rib.

Andrew’s eyes went wide as a soft light began to glow underneath Walker’s hand. The light soon began to give off warmth and it felt as if the light was somehow melting into his skin and spreading through his entire body. It wasn’t unpleasant but it didn’t feel natural, it felt like he was being reformed from within.

“Breath,” Neil whispered and it wasn’t until Neil pointed it out that Andrew had realized he’d stopped breathing entirely.

“There,” Walker said as she withdrew her hand, “as good as new.”

Andrew blinked and then raised his arm over his head, swinging it back and forth, and was somehow surprised to find that he felt no pain at all.

Walker had healed him.

“Well damn,” Andrew said, dumbfounded, “when did that happen?”

Walker frowned, “Sit down, I believe I owe both of you an explanation.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was supposed to include a flashback from both renee and allisons perspective but it became longer than just a regular flashback and i figured to end it as a sort of cliffhanger since i wasn't finished writing everything else and its been a minute since i actually updated this 
> 
> next chapter will be allison and renees entire backstory from their perspective and is about half written so it shouldn't be too long and then after that the real endgame of this story starts, we're winding down to the end!


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